SFS, StA, GDS, Maret, & Potomac--best choice for underachieving, high-IQ kid?

[Anonymous]

OP, I have to admit you lost me when you said you were “connected”. Even if that only means you know families there and you’re full pay, you clearly know the landscape. That being said, why would you come here to get opinions about how well your child would do at the schools you listed? If you’re truly connected, you know. You have a thing for the big name schools and that’s ok. Just be honest with yourself about your goals for your DC. I think maybe they’re your goals- where you would like to see your child.

[Anonymous]

Based on your comments I would suggest avoiding Potomac.

He might be fine for 6th (it’s more nurturing and little homework, no grades until second half
Of the year ) but 7th+ is a whole different story. Academics get much more rigorous and you will not set him up for success for the long term. While 7th+ is not a pressure cooker, a student must have to have strong executive function skills to do well in Potomacs older years.

My child had a real wake up call. And while he adjusted and is doing well now, it was only through proactive management to manage the academics. Your child will not be coddled and will be expected to keep up with assignments and tests.

Your son will struggle if he doesn’t have the innate ability to navigate and regulate his work in this type of environment

As an aside, Potomac could not be more different than Maret and GDS. Like opposite ends of the spectrum really. All are great schools— I am just surprised you didn’t choose to narrow down to schools more similar than different…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an outside observer, it sounds like OP feels entitled to a school she feels is elite because she has money and connections. She wishes she had the kid to match. She knows her kid is not the right fit and is willing to throw money and magical thinking at the issues to rewrite the narrative to fit her hopes.

I hope she comes around and realizes her child needs to live their best life and she does not need to live vicariously through their achievements.

Totally agree. OP is trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. The kid needs to go to a less stressful school.

[Anonymous]

The discouragement is appalling.

[Anonymous]

As an aside, Potomac could not be more different than Maret and GDS. Like opposite ends of the spectrum really. All are great schools— I am just surprised you didn’t choose to narrow down to schools more similar than different…

Just curious, why are they that different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The discouragement is appalling.

The OP sounds really intense. She has a high expectations for her kid, who really seems to need a low stress environment. I mean, the kid is 10 and on meds for anxiety, so why place him in a pressure cooker environment? SFS, StA, and GDS are NOT known as low stress environments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The discouragement is appalling.

I haven’t replied to this thread, but to me the warning signs are that OP wants to put her kid in a pressure-cooker environment when he already has severe anxiety. And she knows that he will need extensive tutoring to survive. Wouldn’t it be better for the kid to be in a more chill environment where he can be proud of what he did himself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The discouragement is appalling.

I haven’t replied to this thread, but to me the warning signs are that OP wants to put her kid in a pressure-cooker environment when he already has severe anxiety. And she knows that he will need extensive tutoring to survive. Wouldn’t it be better for the kid to be in a more chill environment where he can be proud of what he did himself?

Btw, this is not to say one should not use tutors. If a kid is weak in a particular subject, by all means hire a tutor. But to go in knowing that you’ll need a tutor every day to keep up is kind of not great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The discouragement is appalling.

It’s on point, not appalling. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The discouragement is appalling.

It’s on point, not appalling. Get over yourself.

Exactly. People are just responding honestly to OP based upon experiences with the schools in question. OP is pushing her kid into a direction he does not belong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an outside observer, it sounds like OP feels entitled to a school she feels is elite because she has money and connections. She wishes she had the kid to match. She knows her kid is not the right fit and is willing to throw money and magical thinking at the issues to rewrite the narrative to fit her hopes.

I hope she comes around and realizes her child needs to live their best life and she does not need to live vicariously through their achievements.

Just so I’m following. The most elite schools are only for perfect, self motivated students with no mental health differences? And everyone feels a school environment comprised of these perfect students with no obvious struggles is normal, healthy, and desirable? I don’t know. OP’s kid sounded like an awesome kid to me, and if these schools are not open to a child with his potential as well as strengths and weaknesses, then I think they are missing out on a depth of student perspective that could add a lot to a sheltered, homogeneous echo chamber of similar kids.

All the schools mentioned have a range of learners. The kids aren’t perfect but OP’s expectation that sending her DS to an elite super competitive school may turn him into someone who is highly self motivated and driven with excellent executive functioning and time management isn’t realistic. Also having a tutor everyday for homework help isn’t realistic either and likely torturous. Unless you have a kid with all of the bolded AND a high IQ, don’t expect all As.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The discouragement is appalling.

I haven’t replied to this thread, but to me the warning signs are that OP wants to put her kid in a pressure-cooker environment when he already has severe anxiety. And she knows that he will need extensive tutoring to survive. Wouldn’t it be better for the kid to be in a more chill environment where he can be proud of what he did himself?

This.

The tone of some posts here are overly harsh and some are kinder, but the basic gist seems right — that OP is pushing for more than her child, at this time, may be able to handle. OP’s wishes for her child are aspirational, but her child’s current and apparent needs are immediate and real. Seems to me that OP’s child would benefit if she focuses on the here and now.

[Anonymous]

Having had kids at STA and Potomac - this is the kid that won’t get past 8th if they do take him for 6th. Those anxiety levels at this young of an age is going to get him counseled out before highschool. He needs a more chill place, not one of the most intense schools in the country. OP this kid would be better off mentally at field, burke, St. Andrews and the like. Schools that have their own component of brilliant intense students but it’s not the whole school. Allows him room to seek the level that works for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having had kids at STA and Potomac - this is the kid that won’t get past 8th if they do take him for 6th. Those anxiety levels at this young of an age is going to get him counseled out before highschool. He needs a more chill place, not one of the most intense schools in the country. OP this kid would be better off mentally at field, burke, St. Andrews and the like. Schools that have their own component of brilliant intense students but it’s not the whole school. Allows him room to seek the level that works for him.

I have a son with applications in at STA and Potomac. Live in Virginia and really like both schools. But STA seems like a lot of attention is paid to the students. Study halls, teachers seemed to really helpful. I only did a tour and talked to admissions, but from what I’ve seen and heard I’d think her kid would be okay at least at STA. Obviously some of you know more than I.

Don’t they work with the boys with executive functioning? Where do you think her son will have the most trouble?

[Anonymous]

This is sad. Look for a school that will fit your son, not the other way around.