SFS, StA, GDS, Maret, & Potomac--best choice for underachieving, high-IQ kid?

[Anonymous]

We have applied to SFS, StA, GDS, Maret, & Potomac for 6th grade and are waiting on admissions decisions (on paper he has as good a shot as any of getting in)--I'm posting now because I hope by then to have enough thoughtful replies to guide our decision. Despite his grades so far being pretty good, my son has historically underperformed in most subjects relative to his abilities, especially those subjects, in which he's not that interested. This has been due largely to severe anxiety, especially anxiety at performing on demand. He's doing much better now. That being said, his abilities in terms of doing copious amounts of schoolwork are not fully proven yet. FWIW, he excels by years in creative writing, but he's appeared "lazy" (i.e. more accurately, overwhelmed at the demand) when writing essays, doing math, etc. Mercifully, he does not compare himself to other kids. I'd be happy enough with mostly Bs, if he's happy socially, enjoying learning, and putting in a modicum of effort. My sense is that since he's bright and curious, and with maturation (i.e. finally "getting" why he needs to put effort into things), and with his anxiety treated, he will "catch fire" and want to do well. To help him succeed, I expect we will have a tutor that will sit with him for an hour or more after school to help him finish his homework.

Basically, I'm looking for a school that is inspiring and intellectually stimulating, but where he can thrive, even if he's not particularly hard-driving. I know generally about the schools' reputations for academic rigor and the pressure-cooker atmosphere at the top end, but I'd like to know from parents who have kids at these schools, if it's possible to thrive and be happy at one of these schools while being more middling in drive and output. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Maret or GDS. Would avoid SFS, Potomac and STA for child as you describe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maret or GDS. Would avoid SFS, Potomac and STA for child as you describe.

STA has study halls, the teachers are helpful, and seems to me like a kid like you described will do well as long as he wants to.

[Anonymous]

You say “high IQ,” did his testing show any learning differences? Have you considered Davidson? If he qualifies, you can get support for profoundly gifted children and their families as part of the young scholars program. Most schools aren’t set up to accommodate the needs of truly gifted students. It’s a special need of its own. So it may be helpful regardless of the school you choose.

[Anonymous]

I recommend a psychologist diagnosis, meds and therapy. Stat.
They can also recommend schools by name or pedagogy or size that would be most effective at teacher your child.

[Anonymous]

You need to decide what your goals are Op.

Have him learn the most? Not one of those schools

Have him get help for his learning and work issues or disorders? Not one of those schools.

Have him developed good habits and systems that work for him? Not one of those schools.

Scrape by in a strong reputation mainstream Wash DC private school? Will do.

But then what happens when he gets to college, and job searches, and roommates, and jobs?

I’d use the grade 7-12 resources and general opportunity for a school that is able to get him, and teach him the most, and develop and independent young adult.

You say “grow out of it.” Just get him tested so you don’t miss something bigger or more pervasive than that. Early intervention is key. Look around the family tree for examples as well. Anxiety may be an output of it.

[Anonymous]

Curious if his grades are "pretty good" how does he "on paper [have] as good a shot as any of getting in"? I thought everyone who gets into those schools has straight A's.

[Anonymous]

I’m kind of worried for your kid potentially ending up in these pressure cooker schools.

Can you share what school he’s coming from, or at least if it’s public or private?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t send him to any of those schools knowing he has severe anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious if his grades are "pretty good" how does he "on paper [have] as good a shot as any of getting in"? I thought everyone who gets into those schools has straight A's.

I’d say everyone “unhooked” usually has straight As.

[Anonymous]

I have a kid like this and don’t think any of those schools would be a fit.

[Anonymous]

What about a micro school where he can work at his own pace and work ahead of grade level when needed?

[Anonymous]

Sidwell u/s parent here. Not Sidwell, because the student absolutely must be a consistent and strong self advocate for their own learning and improvement. To really succeed the upper schooler must take initiative to spot their own deficits and reach out to the teachers themselves.

A daily (really?) tutor might serve as a substitute for this kind of student agency to keep an uninterested kid on task. But IMO it would be 4-6 years of trying to jam a square peg into the hole. There are probably better matches for your type of learner.

[Anonymous]

Probably GDS is best bet and then Maret second.

[Anonymous]

I have to say, OP, some of these posters may not have recommended one of the schools to which you have applied, but they are very thoughtful answers. You aimed high and you know there is a chance he won’t get in anywhere. Not being unkind- I’m sure you must realize this fact. If he is waitlisted (or not), take the advice and have him tested. It can only help him- and help you help him. Good luck to your DS!