SFS, StA, GDS, Maret, & Potomac--best choice for underachieving, high-IQ kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT SEND AN UNDERACHIEVING KID WITH ADHD TO GDS. First of all, as had been said, it's incredibly difficult to get into any of the schools you mentioned.
That said:
I have a very high IQ boy with MILD ADHD at GDS and I would not send him there if I had to do it over.

GDS is a pressure cooker. The kids are super smart. There is this image of laid-back kindness, which is true socially and with regard to athletics, but NOT NOT NOT in academics. The kids are very bright and self-motivated. There are very few academic supports. There is very much a sink or swim, parents-stay-out-of-it approach. The kids are acutely aware of who is achieving, and by HS they are super stressed out which college they will go to. An underachieving kid will NOT thrive here.

How about a motivated kid that has executive issues? He does well, gets good grades, is engaged and self advocates, but may have slow processing in some areas and gets extra time for it on tests?

The homework, stress level and pressure increase each year. If he is slow it turns 3-4 hours of homework each day in to 4-8 hours of homework. Remember this is in addition to school and assignments over the weekends. It is not an enjoyable experience and can destroy confidence.

My kid is strange in this area. He’s quicker than the other kids doing class work, projects, etc, but on tests he’s sometimes slower.

If it's ADHD that's not necessarily strange. Fundamentally, ADHD is a dopamine deficiency. Working fast can help create and perpetuate the dopamine needed to focus. More than this, many ADHD kids are also really, really freaking smart. It can be a seemingly odd combination to outsiders, but it's not terribly uncommon. A smart ADHD kid works fast b/c they're smart AND because slow work requires endogenous dopamine they lack. This is why ADHD is treated with stimulants, of course-they stimulate dopamine exogenously. Deadlines, competition, working quickly, and a host of others are strategies to produce dopamine. Used adaptively and with an understanding of their limitations--which is true of any strategy any person, ADHD or otherwise, would use--these strategies can be really helpful.

Yeah no. ADHD kids are evenly distributed. There is no evidence to suggest most ADHD are really freaking smart. Some are some are not.

That is true for autism spectrum students (normal range of IQs) but I agree with PP that many many students with ADHD/ ADD are exceptionally smart. I have met many through a range of therapeutic and rigorous private schools. Several educational psychologists we worked with expressed that view as well. They are also at much higher risk for depression/ anxiety and substance abuse if the challenges are not well supported. However, they usually have many gifts apart from standard high IQs: lateral thinking, creativity, big picture thinking, positive risk taking once impulsivity is well managed, and hyper focus in areas of particular interest to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT SEND AN UNDERACHIEVING KID WITH ADHD TO GDS. First of all, as had been said, it's incredibly difficult to get into any of the schools you mentioned.
That said:
I have a very high IQ boy with MILD ADHD at GDS and I would not send him there if I had to do it over.

GDS is a pressure cooker. The kids are super smart. There is this image of laid-back kindness, which is true socially and with regard to athletics, but NOT NOT NOT in academics. The kids are very bright and self-motivated. There are very few academic supports. There is very much a sink or swim, parents-stay-out-of-it approach. The kids are acutely aware of who is achieving, and by HS they are super stressed out which college they will go to. An underachieving kid will NOT thrive here.

How about a motivated kid that has executive issues? He does well, gets good grades, is engaged and self advocates, but may have slow processing in some areas and gets extra time for it on tests?

The homework, stress level and pressure increase each year. If he is slow it turns 3-4 hours of homework each day in to 4-8 hours of homework. Remember this is in addition to school and assignments over the weekends. It is not an enjoyable experience and can destroy confidence.

My kid is strange in this area. He’s quicker than the other kids doing class work, projects, etc, but on tests he’s sometimes slower.

If it's ADHD that's not necessarily strange. Fundamentally, ADHD is a dopamine deficiency. Working fast can help create and perpetuate the dopamine needed to focus. More than this, many ADHD kids are also really, really freaking smart. It can be a seemingly odd combination to outsiders, but it's not terribly uncommon. A smart ADHD kid works fast b/c they're smart AND because slow work requires endogenous dopamine they lack. This is why ADHD is treated with stimulants, of course-they stimulate dopamine exogenously. Deadlines, competition, working quickly, and a host of others are strategies to produce dopamine. Used adaptively and with an understanding of their limitations--which is true of any strategy any person, ADHD or otherwise, would use--these strategies can be really helpful.

Yeah no. ADHD kids are evenly distributed. There is no evidence to suggest most ADHD are really freaking smart. Some are some are not.

That is true for autism spectrum students (normal range of IQs) but I agree with PP that many many students with ADHD/ ADD are exceptionally smart. I have met many through a range of therapeutic and rigorous private schools. Several educational psychologists we worked with expressed that view as well. They are also at much higher risk for depression/ anxiety and substance abuse if the challenges are not well supported. However, they usually have many gifts apart from standard high IQs: lateral thinking, creativity, big picture thinking, positive risk taking once impulsivity is well managed, and hyper focus in areas of particular interest to them.

Don’t confuse allowing an ADHD to hyperfocus in 1-2 things in life and be heavily supported and scaffolded by other adults with someone equally intelligent and motivated yet is not heavily supported and scaffolding in life.

Face it, if we all had an adult following us around taking care of 95% of life’s demands so we could 100% focus all our time on our brilliant work or research, it’s be even more brilliant work and research!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT SEND AN UNDERACHIEVING KID WITH ADHD TO GDS. First of all, as had been said, it's incredibly difficult to get into any of the schools you mentioned.
That said:
I have a very high IQ boy with MILD ADHD at GDS and I would not send him there if I had to do it over.

GDS is a pressure cooker. The kids are super smart. There is this image of laid-back kindness, which is true socially and with regard to athletics, but NOT NOT NOT in academics. The kids are very bright and self-motivated. There are very few academic supports. There is very much a sink or swim, parents-stay-out-of-it approach. The kids are acutely aware of who is achieving, and by HS they are super stressed out which college they will go to. An underachieving kid will NOT thrive here.

How about a motivated kid that has executive issues? He does well, gets good grades, is engaged and self advocates, but may have slow processing in some areas and gets extra time for it on tests?

The homework, stress level and pressure increase each year. If he is slow it turns 3-4 hours of homework each day in to 4-8 hours of homework. Remember this is in addition to school and assignments over the weekends. It is not an enjoyable experience and can destroy confidence.

My kid is strange in this area. He’s quicker than the other kids doing class work, projects, etc, but on tests he’s sometimes slower.

If it's ADHD that's not necessarily strange. Fundamentally, ADHD is a dopamine deficiency. Working fast can help create and perpetuate the dopamine needed to focus. More than this, many ADHD kids are also really, really freaking smart. It can be a seemingly odd combination to outsiders, but it's not terribly uncommon. A smart ADHD kid works fast b/c they're smart AND because slow work requires endogenous dopamine they lack. This is why ADHD is treated with stimulants, of course-they stimulate dopamine exogenously. Deadlines, competition, working quickly, and a host of others are strategies to produce dopamine. Used adaptively and with an understanding of their limitations--which is true of any strategy any person, ADHD or otherwise, would use--these strategies can be really helpful.

Yeah no. ADHD kids are evenly distributed. There is no evidence to suggest most ADHD are really freaking smart. Some are some are not.

That is true for autism spectrum students (normal range of IQs) but I agree with PP that many many students with ADHD/ ADD are exceptionally smart. I have met many through a range of therapeutic and rigorous private schools. Several educational psychologists we worked with expressed that view as well. They are also at much higher risk for depression/ anxiety and substance abuse if the challenges are not well supported. However, they usually have many gifts apart from standard high IQs: lateral thinking, creativity, big picture thinking, positive risk taking once impulsivity is well managed, and hyper focus in areas of particular interest to them.

Don’t confuse allowing an ADHD to hyperfocus in 1-2 things in life and be heavily supported and scaffolded by other adults with someone equally intelligent and motivated yet is not heavily supported and scaffolding in life.

Face it, if we all had an adult following us around taking care of 95% of life’s demands so we could 100% focus all our time on our brilliant work or research, it’s be even more brilliant work and research!

That's not an accurate picture of what you think you are talking about, and your prejudice is ill informed and outdated. But anyway, hyper focus is a specific brain ability, and if you don't have that type of ADHD, you probably lack the ability to actually hyper focus 100% on your work or research even if someone else carries the mundane part of your brain load. Your brain literally can't work that way because it isn't made that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT SEND AN UNDERACHIEVING KID WITH ADHD TO GDS. First of all, as had been said, it's incredibly difficult to get into any of the schools you mentioned.
That said:
I have a very high IQ boy with MILD ADHD at GDS and I would not send him there if I had to do it over.

GDS is a pressure cooker. The kids are super smart. There is this image of laid-back kindness, which is true socially and with regard to athletics, but NOT NOT NOT in academics. The kids are very bright and self-motivated. There are very few academic supports. There is very much a sink or swim, parents-stay-out-of-it approach. The kids are acutely aware of who is achieving, and by HS they are super stressed out which college they will go to. An underachieving kid will NOT thrive here.

How about a motivated kid that has executive issues? He does well, gets good grades, is engaged and self advocates, but may have slow processing in some areas and gets extra time for it on tests?

The homework, stress level and pressure increase each year. If he is slow it turns 3-4 hours of homework each day in to 4-8 hours of homework. Remember this is in addition to school and assignments over the weekends. It is not an enjoyable experience and can destroy confidence.

My kid is strange in this area. He’s quicker than the other kids doing class work, projects, etc, but on tests he’s sometimes slower.

If it's ADHD that's not necessarily strange. Fundamentally, ADHD is a dopamine deficiency. Working fast can help create and perpetuate the dopamine needed to focus. More than this, many ADHD kids are also really, really freaking smart. It can be a seemingly odd combination to outsiders, but it's not terribly uncommon. A smart ADHD kid works fast b/c they're smart AND because slow work requires endogenous dopamine they lack. This is why ADHD is treated with stimulants, of course-they stimulate dopamine exogenously. Deadlines, competition, working quickly, and a host of others are strategies to produce dopamine. Used adaptively and with an understanding of their limitations--which is true of any strategy any person, ADHD or otherwise, would use--these strategies can be really helpful.

Yeah no. ADHD kids are evenly distributed. There is no evidence to suggest most ADHD are really freaking smart. Some are some are not.

That is true for autism spectrum students (normal range of IQs) but I agree with PP that many many students with ADHD/ ADD are exceptionally smart. I have met many through a range of therapeutic and rigorous private schools. Several educational psychologists we worked with expressed that view as well. They are also at much higher risk for depression/ anxiety and substance abuse if the challenges are not well supported. However, they usually have many gifts apart from standard high IQs: lateral thinking, creativity, big picture thinking, positive risk taking once impulsivity is well managed, and hyper focus in areas of particular interest to them.

Don’t confuse allowing an ADHD to hyperfocus in 1-2 things in life and be heavily supported and scaffolded by other adults with someone equally intelligent and motivated yet is not heavily supported and scaffolding in life.

Face it, if we all had an adult following us around taking care of 95% of life’s demands so we could 100% focus all our time on our brilliant work or research, it’s be even more brilliant work and research!

That's not an accurate picture of what you think you are talking about, and your prejudice is ill informed and outdated. But anyway, hyper focus is a specific brain ability, and if you don't have that type of ADHD, you probably lack the ability to actually hyper focus 100% on your work or research even if someone else carries the mundane part of your brain load. Your brain literally can't work that way because it isn't made that way.

Np

Everyone I manage works best when in a coverage model with narrow and deep responsibilities and autonomy. Select few have amazing bandwidth to cover more projects at the same time; these are typically very org sized Type A individuals who also exercise daily and have active social lives. But even then, if it is a very important new project or a tight deadline I reallocate their other work so they can “focus”, or whatever you want to call it.

I also manage ADHD workers who lose their phones 3x a year, don’t take notes at mtgs or lose them if they do, etc. They need tons of reminders and doh LR checking if their work. I usually put another level on their projects for quality control. These types do excellent on their GrEs and lsATs or GMATS or individual work for themselves, but not on team projects. They seem to check out on team projects, sadly.

I also manage ASD people. They need more direction and structure and interim deadlines. They do not. Usually take feedback or check ins well. They also are prone to losing things, not taking notes, and misunderstanding oral discussions. They can hyperfocus very well on technical items they are passionate about. At work they only talk about work. Some are peers, we know nothing about their family life or activities.