SFS, StA, GDS, Maret, & Potomac--best choice for underachieving, high-IQ kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably GDS is best bet and then Maret second.

I’d flip that.

[Anonymous]

So weird - my very basic reply to this was deleted?

To weigh in again, I wouldn't send a child with high anxiety to any of these schools. And I say this as someone with a child at one of these schools (not with anxiety).

[Anonymous]

Is it too late to consider a school like Burke, which is challenging but with less intense pressure?

[Anonymous]

I have a kid at STA and i would not recommend it for this type of kid. My son joined in 9th and is super smart and but not laser focused on school and he's struggling. There is no safety net unless the kid reaches out and this type of kid doesn't reach out.
We've reached out a few times and have sort of been met with "have your son reach out" responses.
Sure, there are study halls but no-one cared or noticed that he spent weeks on end just playing on his phone in study hall. We finally got him out of study hall and into an elective for the spring because at least now he's doing something productive.
For a super motivated/driven kid, it's a great place. For a smart but not motivated kid it's kind of a slog and not the best fit. I really like many things about the school (love it actually) but I keep hoping my kid will catch the drive to push himself. So far, no dice. It's just
a struggle of assignment after assignment (and there are a lot of them).

[Anonymous]

Have you ruled out ADHD? The profile you describe sounds like more than anxiety (ie, expecting to need daily tutoring/coaching).

Things ramp up a ton between 6th and HS. It would be good to sort out what’s going on.

[Anonymous]

Get an evaluation, will be helpful!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Just to be clear, his anxiety is much better now, thanks primarily to medication. We just don't have a lot of data since it's been treated (after having FINALLY found the right med) to indicate how well he'll perform.

With this in mind, we applied to a few backups at which I feel more confident he could do well. I'm posting this because I wonder if he could also do well at these schools.

He had been medicated for ADHD that initially helped. We were still experimenting with different stimulants at the time we got neuropsych testing. He appeared very ADHD on the testing, but now we realize that's because he was out of his mind with anxiety, which caused the executive dysfunction, exacerbated by the stimulants by orders of magnitude. He's doing worlds better on meds for anxiety and no stimulant. He may have some minimal ADHD, but it definitely became clear that the anxiety looked like ADHD. <b>He basically seems like a whole new person now, no obvious ADHD and very little anxiety, so we're hoping we've found the right supports for him. </b>We're scheduled for new neuropsych testing to try to get a more accurate profile.

He was just under the gifted range (when tested, he was in a near-hysterical fit, so he likely underperformed). But I don't believe he's PG (in response to Davidson post).

[Anonymous]

OP here again.

I intend to hire a tutor for homework just to provide additional scaffolding, if needed, to ensure his success. I try to be proactive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just to be clear, his anxiety is much better now, thanks primarily to medication. We just don't have a lot of data since it's been treated (after having FINALLY found the right med) to indicate how well he'll perform.

With this in mind, we applied to a few backups at which I feel more confident he could do well. I'm posting this because I wonder if he could also do well at these schools.

He had been medicated for ADHD that initially helped. We were still experimenting with different stimulants at the time we got neuropsych testing. He appeared very ADHD on the testing, but now we realize that's because he was out of his mind with anxiety, which caused the executive dysfunction, exacerbated by the stimulants by orders of magnitude. He's doing worlds better on meds for anxiety and no stimulant. He may have some minimal ADHD, but it definitely became clear that the anxiety looked like ADHD. <b>He basically seems like a whole new person now, no obvious ADHD and very little anxiety, so we're hoping we've found the right supports for him. </b>We're scheduled for new neuropsych testing to try to get a more accurate profile.

He was just under the gifted range (when tested, he was in a near-hysterical fit, so he likely underperformed). But I don't believe he's PG (in response to Davidson post).

Thanks for coming back with all of this information. I’m so glad you’ve applied to other schools as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recommend a psychologist diagnosis, meds and therapy. Stat.
They can also recommend schools by name or pedagogy or size that would be most effective at teacher your child.

Psychologist, meds and therapy for the kid or mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid at STA and i would not recommend it for this type of kid. My son joined in 9th and is super smart and but not laser focused on school and he's struggling. There is no safety net unless the kid reaches out and this type of kid doesn't reach out.
We've reached out a few times and have sort of been met with "have your son reach out" responses.
Sure, there are study halls but no-one cared or noticed that he spent weeks on end just playing on his phone in study hall. We finally got him out of study hall and into an elective for the spring because at least now he's doing something productive.
For a super motivated/driven kid, it's a great place. For a smart but not motivated kid it's kind of a slog and not the best fit. I really like many things about the school (love it actually) but I keep hoping my kid will catch the drive to push himself. So far, no dice. It's just
a struggle of assignment after assignment (and there are a lot of them).

Sidwell is the same way. PP, your son will not change. He will be the B student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Just to be clear, his anxiety is much better now, thanks primarily to medication. We just don't have a lot of data since it's been treated (after having FINALLY found the right med) to indicate how well he'll perform.

With this in mind, we applied to a few backups at which I feel more confident he could do well. I'm posting this because I wonder if he could also do well at these schools.

He had been medicated for ADHD that initially helped. We were still experimenting with different stimulants at the time we got neuropsych testing. He appeared very ADHD on the testing, but now we realize that's because he was out of his mind with anxiety, which caused the executive dysfunction, exacerbated by the stimulants by orders of magnitude. He's doing worlds better on meds for anxiety and no stimulant. He may have some minimal ADHD, but it definitely became clear that the anxiety looked like ADHD. <b>He basically seems like a whole new person now, no obvious ADHD and very little anxiety, so we're hoping we've found the right supports for him. </b>We're scheduled for new neuropsych testing to try to get a more accurate profile.

He was just under the gifted range (when tested, he was in a near-hysterical fit, so he likely underperformed). But I don't believe he's PG (in response to Davidson post).

weeeeelll, kids with anxiety often are super driven. It really doesn't sound like anxiety is the only issue, TBH, and I say that as a parent of a kid with anxiety (and other issues). It's good you are doing an eval. A kid with ADHD/anxiety could probably do well at any of these schools but it will come down to the kid's specific manifestation of those issues. The super Type A overachiever/ball of anxiety/obsessed-with-her-interests student profile, for example, is different from what you describe.

[Anonymous]

OP, re: the wish that your kid will "catch fire" academically jumps out at me....I hope so, but that's a wish, not a plan. I have been hoping this for my own child, who has gone from being an A student to being a C student as the demands of HS have ramped up. It's very stressful. He understands conceptually but can't execute (ie, forgotten assignments, test anxiety, simple arithmetic errors on complicated math problems). I would be fine with him being a B student but it's not actually that easy to be a B student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have applied to SFS, StA, GDS, Maret, & Potomac for 6th grade and are waiting on admissions decisions (on paper he has as good a shot as any of getting in)--I'm posting now because I hope by then to have enough thoughtful replies to guide our decision. Despite his grades so far being pretty good, my son has historically underperformed in most subjects relative to his abilities, especially those subjects, in which he's not that interested. This has been due largely to severe anxiety, especially anxiety at performing on demand. He's doing much better now. That being said, his abilities in terms of doing copious amounts of schoolwork are not fully proven yet. FWIW, he excels by years in creative writing, but he's appeared "lazy" (i.e. more accurately, overwhelmed at the demand) when writing essays, doing math, etc. Mercifully, he does not compare himself to other kids. I'd be happy enough with mostly Bs, if he's happy socially, enjoying learning, and putting in a modicum of effort. My sense is that since he's bright and curious, and with maturation (i.e. finally "getting" why he needs to put effort into things), and with his anxiety treated, he will "catch fire" and want to do well. To help him succeed, I expect we will have a tutor that will sit with him for an hour or more after school to help him finish his homework.

Basically, I'm looking for a school that is inspiring and intellectually stimulating, but where he can thrive, even if he's not particularly hard-driving. I know generally about the schools' reputations for academic rigor and the pressure-cooker atmosphere at the top end, but I'd like to know from parents who have kids at these schools, if it's possible to thrive and be happy at one of these schools while being more middling in drive and output. Thanks!

I would apply to a different set of schools; also honestly, if this is all apparent in his app, he is unlikely to be accepted as grade 6 has a ton of applicants.

[Anonymous]

In these high schools, there are a lot of kids (gifted included) working hard for Bs. If your child does not like homework, etc, please don’t put him in one of these environments. You say you’re fine with Bs but not working hard and not staying organized will result in Cs and Ds, not Bs. There’s a lot that goes into academic success at that level besides iq. Maybe being around a different peer group will change his perspective, but if that’s who he is he is going to be very unhappy in a place like St. Albans, Potomac, etc. I think it is great that you’re giving all of this a lot of thought! 7th grade is a much better time to try this environment out to see if he grows into it, rather than 9th.