Can I quit my job or is that dumb

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely go with a full time nanny / housekeeper first. See how you feel after 6 months of that.

For some reason hiring and managing help seems like just more work. I know that if everything works perfectly it will be helpful but the time and energy I’ll need to put in on the front end to do this (and then hoping everything works well after hiring or I’d have to do it all over again) seems overwhelming. Is there some trick I’m missing? I’d honestly rather do all this stuff myself - I like to cook and clean and watch my kid (not everyday, she’d stay in childcare part time even if I resigned) but I’d rather do household chores and errands than my job.

It's not that hard. If you are overwhelmed use an agency like White House Nannies to find a housekeeper and/or nanny. I promise after a couple of years being a stay at home parent is not glamorous and it will not be easy to go back to a $250k in house job. It also changes your relationship with your spouse in a lot of ways that aren't good and can lead to a lot of resentment. There's a lot of talk about you and your feelings. Have you thought about him and the pressure it puts on him to be a sole provider for potentially the next 20 years particularly in a volitile industry? What happens if he loses his job, you are pregnant and now have no health insurance? In addition to likely quadrupling your healthcare costs by going on the exchange for a crappy plan, you have no income coming in so start going into savings. What if he gets cancer and can't work or needs to take time off? All of the burden for income, benefits and retirement shifts to him. It's a lot of pressure to put on him. I would strongly encourage you to try some of the things that have been suggested before quiting alltogther.

OP, I think a lot of these responses are driven by anxious gen X’ers. The workforce is changing; you can go back and earn even more than $250k if you really want to…I know a few friends and acquaintances who have made similar comp jumps recently after taking a few years off. You only have one life to live, as others have said. And while cliche, your health (emotional and physical) and your family is more important than adding a bit more $$ to your retirement accounts to tap at the end of your life.

If your friends aren't lawyers it's really not relevant. Well paying in house jobs are competetive. There is always strong associates coming out of a big firms with recent knowledge (and maybe even already working with the in house team) who are applying for these jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely go with a full time nanny / housekeeper first. See how you feel after 6 months of that.

For some reason hiring and managing help seems like just more work. I know that if everything works perfectly it will be helpful but the time and energy I’ll need to put in on the front end to do this (and then hoping everything works well after hiring or I’d have to do it all over again) seems overwhelming. Is there some trick I’m missing? I’d honestly rather do all this stuff myself - I like to cook and clean and watch my kid (not everyday, she’d stay in childcare part time even if I resigned) but I’d rather do household chores and errands than my job.

It's not that hard. If you are overwhelmed use an agency like White House Nannies to find a housekeeper and/or nanny. I promise after a couple of years being a stay at home parent is not glamorous and it will not be easy to go back to a $250k in house job. It also changes your relationship with your spouse in a lot of ways that aren't good and can lead to a lot of resentment. There's a lot of talk about you and your feelings. Have you thought about him and the pressure it puts on him to be a sole provider for potentially the next 20 years particularly in a volitile industry? What happens if he loses his job, you are pregnant and now have no health insurance? In addition to likely quadrupling your healthcare costs by going on the exchange for a crappy plan, you have no income coming in so start going into savings. What if he gets cancer and can't work or needs to take time off? All of the burden for income, benefits and retirement shifts to him. It's a lot of pressure to put on him. I would strongly encourage you to try some of the things that have been suggested before quiting alltogther.

OP, I think a lot of these responses are driven by anxious gen X’ers. The workforce is changing; you can go back and earn even more than $250k if you really want to…I know a few friends and acquaintances who have made similar comp jumps recently after taking a few years off. You only have one life to live, as others have said. And while cliche, your health (emotional and physical) and your family is more important than adding a bit more $$ to your retirement accounts to tap at the end of your life.

You have unusual friends/acquaintances bc it's even worse now for all generations because of more automation in application process--this is well-studied and documented across a range of fields (there are lawsuits around it for discrimination against caregivers which tend to be women, but documentation show that discrimination for time off in professional fields is getting worse not better).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I would quit completely, as others have said, find another job instead. I’m in finance and quit for a year, and it was extremely hard to find work with a gap in my resume. once the kids are older and in school you may regret not working. I assume you also spent a lot of time and money on your career, so I’d try to at least work part time or find a lower paying job while your kids are small.

With Covid, I’ve found that everything is changing. I work in finance too and we just hired two people over the last year with much more significant gaps in their resumes. Things are more fluid now, and, especially given the great resignation talks, hiring managers are much more open to non traditional backgrounds and gaps on resumes. It’s all in how you frame it, but OP shouldn’t be worried about navigating out and then back in if she decides SAH isn’t for her longer-term.

FWIW, we are in an unusual time. I think once people start running out of money they will be going back, and job hiring will be competitive again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I would quit completely, as others have said, find another job instead. I’m in finance and quit for a year, and it was extremely hard to find work with a gap in my resume. once the kids are older and in school you may regret not working. I assume you also spent a lot of time and money on your career, so I’d try to at least work part time or find a lower paying job while your kids are small.

With Covid, I’ve found that everything is changing. I work in finance too and we just hired two people over the last year with much more significant gaps in their resumes. Things are more fluid now, and, especially given the great resignation talks, hiring managers are much more open to non traditional backgrounds and gaps on resumes. It’s all in how you frame it, but OP shouldn’t be worried about navigating out and then back in if she decides SAH isn’t for her longer-term.

FWIW, we are in an unusual time. I think once people start running out of money they will be going back, and job hiring will be competitive again.

Yeah, I wouldn't quit my job thinking I could get another easily a year or two from now. It's too volatile. ANd her background is in law which has a surplus of people even these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I would quit completely, as others have said, find another job instead. I’m in finance and quit for a year, and it was extremely hard to find work with a gap in my resume. once the kids are older and in school you may regret not working. I assume you also spent a lot of time and money on your career, so I’d try to at least work part time or find a lower paying job while your kids are small.

With Covid, I’ve found that everything is changing. I work in finance too and we just hired two people over the last year with much more significant gaps in their resumes. Things are more fluid now, and, especially given the great resignation talks, hiring managers are much more open to non traditional backgrounds and gaps on resumes. It’s all in how you frame it, but OP shouldn’t be worried about navigating out and then back in if she decides SAH isn’t for her longer-term.

FWIW, we are in an unusual time. I think once people start running out of money they will be going back, and job hiring will be competitive again.

Yeah, I wouldn't quit my job thinking I could get another easily a year or two from now. It's too volatile. ANd her background is in law which has a surplus of people even these days.

I am hearing billable hours are way down for certain areas (way up in real estate), so I would think in house would get more rather than less competitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I would quit completely, as others have said, find another job instead. I’m in finance and quit for a year, and it was extremely hard to find work with a gap in my resume. once the kids are older and in school you may regret not working. I assume you also spent a lot of time and money on your career, so I’d try to at least work part time or find a lower paying job while your kids are small.

With Covid, I’ve found that everything is changing. I work in finance too and we just hired two people over the last year with much more significant gaps in their resumes. Things are more fluid now, and, especially given the great resignation talks, hiring managers are much more open to non traditional backgrounds and gaps on resumes. It’s all in how you frame it, but OP shouldn’t be worried about navigating out and then back in if she decides SAH isn’t for her longer-term.

FWIW, we are in an unusual time. I think once people start running out of money they will be going back, and job hiring will be competitive again.

Yeah, I wouldn't quit my job thinking I could get another easily a year or two from now. It's too volatile. ANd her background is in law which has a surplus of people even these days.

I am hearing billable hours are way down for certain areas (way up in real estate), so I would think in house would get more rather than less competitive.

Outside of bankruptcy, I haven't heard of any practice groups that are slow right now and lateral hiring remains hot.

Anyways, people don't leave big law because their hours are down, they leave because they're tired of all the bullsh*t.

[Anonymous]

You can always find another job. My friend left the workforce for 3 years after a nervous breakdown. She did some consulting work later and is now fully employed. Getting a job is not like winning the lotto or some impossible thing. People find them everyday. I don't know one person that was ever stuck long term unemployed. Personally I would take the break in your financial position. If after 6 months you hate it then start looking for work again.

[Anonymous]

I’m an attorney inhouse and no way I’d do that but especially not at 36 unless you want to really struggle if you need a job again. Just get a remote legal inhouse job. My company is pretty much 100% remote and I’m hiring a remote staff. Then hire out food, we use Territory for healthy prepared meals, and cleaning. Your husband leaves you in five years and you’re screwed if you were just a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Don’t quit your job. Your savings are too low to be comfortable. When you have several houses with your husband for $10mm or so then you can “retire”. I recently divorced in a similar situation. Was SAHM for 10 years, and went to $65k/year job. My exH quit his job just before divorce in order not to pay child support and alimony. Thankfully we had assets and I got 2 rental properties $4mm worth that help a lot.
Your lost future earning capacity, retirement savings, loss of social circle would never be restored if you quit. Just find something less demanding and never rely on other people. Husbands come and leave all the time, particularly those who travel often….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t quit your job. Your savings are too low to be comfortable. When you have several houses with your husband for $10mm or so then you can “retire”. I recently divorced in a similar situation. Was SAHM for 10 years, and went to $65k/year job. My exH quit his job just before divorce in order not to pay child support and alimony. Thankfully we had assets and I got 2 rental properties $4mm worth that help a lot.
Your lost future earning capacity, retirement savings, loss of social circle would never be restored if you quit. Just find something less demanding and never rely on other people. Husbands come and leave all the time, particularly those who travel often….

Lucky my husband doesn’t travel I guess lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t quit your job. Your savings are too low to be comfortable. When you have several houses with your husband for $10mm or so then you can “retire”. I recently divorced in a similar situation. Was SAHM for 10 years, and went to $65k/year job. My exH quit his job just before divorce in order not to pay child support and alimony. Thankfully we had assets and I got 2 rental properties $4mm worth that help a lot.
Your lost future earning capacity, retirement savings, loss of social circle would never be restored if you quit. Just find something less demanding and never rely on other people. Husbands come and leave all the time, particularly those who travel often….

Lucky my husband doesn’t travel I guess lol

It takes very little to destroy a smilingly perfect marriage. You would be surprised !

[Anonymous]

In your shoes I would have quit like 2 years ago so kudos for hanging in there so long.

Personally I don’t know what’s so great about being smart enough to make 250k a year lawyering and being married to a guy making a million dollars a year if you can’t quit and stay home and have all the babies you want and also spend all day with said babies. Especially because you like homemaking etc and your current job is being a total hard a—- about showing up in person (it’s not like you’re asking to zoom into trials in your pajamas, plenty of people do their best thinking while puttering around the home.)

I agree with you, hiring staff to run your life adds an additional layer of annoying to your life, unless you really despise childcare and housework, in which case get that live in nanny amd housekeeper and remember, some boarding schools take kids as young as six.

[Anonymous]

Feel free to quit. Take some time off. You guys have enough money coming in. Life is more than just being on a hamster wheel. Make sure your husband is on board with it. Figure out a game plan together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t quit your job. Your savings are too low to be comfortable. When you have several houses with your husband for $10mm or so then you can “retire”. I recently divorced in a similar situation. Was SAHM for 10 years, and went to $65k/year job. My exH quit his job just before divorce in order not to pay child support and alimony. Thankfully we had assets and I got 2 rental properties $4mm worth that help a lot.
Your lost future earning capacity, retirement savings, loss of social circle would never be restored if you quit. Just find something less demanding and never rely on other people. Husbands come and leave all the time, particularly those who travel often….

Lucky my husband doesn’t travel I guess lol

Smh...you sound like you've got the street sense of a 10 year old. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t quit your job. Your savings are too low to be comfortable. When you have several houses with your husband for $10mm or so then you can “retire”. I recently divorced in a similar situation. Was SAHM for 10 years, and went to $65k/year job. My exH quit his job just before divorce in order not to pay child support and alimony. Thankfully we had assets and I got 2 rental properties $4mm worth that help a lot.
Your lost future earning capacity, retirement savings, loss of social circle would never be restored if you quit. Just find something less demanding and never rely on other people. Husbands come and leave all the time, particularly those who travel often….

Lucky my husband doesn’t travel I guess lol

Smh...you sound like you've got the street sense of a 10 year old. Good luck.

This was a tongue in cheek response to someone who thinks you need $10m in the bank before anyone can even think of quitting. I guess sarcasm doesn’t translate on the internet. Oh well.