Can I quit my job or is that dumb

[Anonymous]

I’m an in-house lawyer here with a similar predicament, except I make more money than you and my husband makes less money than your husband. We’re in our early 40s and have three kids and net worth is around $5MM. I agree with the commenter that the elementary years are so much more fun than the baby years and you are going to want to be highly involved for the next 15 years at least, wanting flexibility to be available to your kids. On the other hand, you worked hard for a degree and built a professional career, and I see so many moms in their late 40s who are trying to on-ramp after staying at home, and it’s so difficult for them. Layer into that the lack of predictability with your husband’s career…..I think the most risk averse strategy is to try your best to find a long term, flexible, work from home as much as possible job, and possibly part time.

I think the clear compromise choice is to directly ask your employer if you can do part-time or work entirely remote. If both are denied, then quit and try to find something else part-time and remote when employers are trying hard to fill spots. I know you said switching jobs is off the table, though. Hopefully your employer will be willing to compromise.

[Anonymous]

OP here - just providing an update as promised. I did decide to continue working bc I was able to negotiate a fully remote position. I’m still not sure if it’s the right decision but “financial security” is outweighing other things right now. Even though I know we have enough to be financial secure for a while if I wasn’t working, I guess I’m just that risk averse. I did get a personal trainer to come to my house 2x a week to at least force me to take some time to exercise without having to actually take time to go to the gym. We are still trying to figure out what to do about more/different childcare. Anyway just wanted to update in case anyone was wondering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - just providing an update as promised. I did decide to continue working bc I was able to negotiate a fully remote position. I’m still not sure if it’s the right decision but “financial security” is outweighing other things right now. Even though I know we have enough to be financial secure for a while if I wasn’t working, I guess I’m just that risk averse. I did get a personal trainer to come to my house 2x a week to at least force me to take some time to exercise without having to actually take time to go to the gym. We are still trying to figure out what to do about more/different childcare. Anyway just wanted to update in case anyone was wondering.

I think this is a really wise step, OP. And kudos on the personal trainer. Thanks for updating us.

[Anonymous]

Op, thanks for updating. I hope the fully remote gives you what you need to feel good about working and parenting.

Your post helped push me to ask my boss for part time work (I posted before). I was initially going to get a full time nanny and make it work for a while longer. I even wrote and posted the job, and then Couldn’t bring myself to interview anyone. I realized the nanny didn’t really address my central goal, which was to be able to spend more time with the kids - the nanny would make it easier for me to work, but not actually give me more time with my kids. I just decided to go part time, and now I felt this huge sense of relief.

[Anonymous]

Your DH makes over a million dollars a year and you are even asking this? God. Rich people are greedy AND stupid. What a waste of your years! Of COURSE quit. Save the equivalent of your salary out of DH’s salary. Save save save. And quit. My God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH makes over a million dollars a year and you are even asking this? God. Rich people are greedy AND stupid. What a waste of your years! Of COURSE quit. Save the equivalent of your salary out of DH’s salary. Save save save. And quit. My God.

Rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you, OP. If you want one voice of support, I say go for it.

Thanks! I’m surprised that so many people would rather work than stay home… I’ve never felt that way! Not that it’s a bad decision for them, I just really thought most people would rather not work if that was possible haha.

I ended up with a life changing windfall amount of money. I immediately quit my job. I was back looking for one again after 18 months. My kids are school aged and it was depressing being home. I met some women and they were very sweet, but their worlds were so small. I really craved being around a wide range of people. Old young, men, women, single, married...ect.

I didn't go back to my same level of work, nor did I want to, I basically have a career now that's more like a hobby. Money did buy me pandemic relief. We did move the kids into a school that was fully open 5 days a week all of 2020-2021.

In OPs situation No way in hell would I dp what she's doing without a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH makes over a million dollars a year and you are even asking this? God. Rich people are greedy AND stupid. What a waste of your years! Of COURSE quit. Save the equivalent of your salary out of DH’s salary. Save save save. And quit. My God.

Not
Everyone
Enjoys
Being
Unemployed
Even
Wealthy
Mothers

[Anonymous]

This is kind of insane -- you are dealing with daycare issues when you have that much income. A nanny is essential, and will make your life easier.

Having said that, take it from a 52-year-old with 3 kids (always a working mom). I would have LOVED to have that time at home with my kids. Just quit and don't look back!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH makes over a million dollars a year and you are even asking this? God. Rich people are greedy AND stupid. What a waste of your years! Of COURSE quit. Save the equivalent of your salary out of DH’s salary. Save save save. And quit. My God.

Not
Everyone
Enjoys
Being
Unemployed
Even
Wealthy
Mothers

But OP wants[b] to quit. And she's easily in a position to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH makes over a million dollars a year and you are even asking this? God. Rich people are greedy AND stupid. What a waste of your years! Of COURSE quit. Save the equivalent of your salary out of DH’s salary. Save save save. And quit. My God.

Rude.

New poster. I don't think it's rude at all. And it's what 99 percent of the US population would think.

Most of the moms I know with this much money do not work outside the house, though some are "consultants." They are too busy raising their kids, driving carpools to school and a million sports practices, arranging sport and activities and private tutoring and coaching and playdates, traveling with their husbands, volunteering, fundraising, etc.

To each their own.

[Anonymous]

OP here, posting an update in case anyone is interested. I always wonder how these things pan out for other posters beyond their immediate decision just to have a data point on whether things worked out or if it was a disaster, even if it’s anecdotal.

Full WFH was a game changer - it made everything much more manageable and I’ve spent the last year+ much happier. Highly recommend asking for it if you are feeling overwhelmed, although I think I did hit a sweet spot as far as employee negotiating power goes. I’m about to go on maternity leave with my second child, but am planning on returning after leave. We kept our first child in daycare but are looking for a nanny now - older kid will be in full time PK3 starting in the fall, so mostly will be for the new baby. My husband’s income doubled last year which was a nice surprise and takes some pressure off about making a bad financial decision by quitting, but it is still highly variable so we’re just kind of keeping the status quo for now and seeing how things go. Long story short, I could definitely still see myself quitting in the next few years, but overall I’m glad I didn’t quit last year at my low point. Thanks for everyone’s advice/thoughts back then!

[Anonymous]

If my H made millions I would never ever work. I would make a secret stash of cash and other assets but no working for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my H made millions I would never ever work. I would make a secret stash of cash and other assets but no working for sure.

Sorry I didn’t realize it was an old thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, posting an update in case anyone is interested. I always wonder how these things pan out for other posters beyond their immediate decision just to have a data point on whether things worked out or if it was a disaster, even if it’s anecdotal.

Full WFH was a game changer - it made everything much more manageable and I’ve spent the last year+ much happier. Highly recommend asking for it if you are feeling overwhelmed, although I think I did hit a sweet spot as far as employee negotiating power goes. I’m about to go on maternity leave with my second child, but am planning on returning after leave. We kept our first child in daycare but are looking for a nanny now - older kid will be in full time PK3 starting in the fall, so mostly will be for the new baby. My husband’s income doubled last year which was a nice surprise and takes some pressure off about making a bad financial decision by quitting, but it is still highly variable so we’re just kind of keeping the status quo for now and seeing how things go. Long story short, I could definitely still see myself quitting in the next few years, but overall I’m glad I didn’t quit last year at my low point. Thanks for everyone’s advice/thoughts back then!

Sounds fantastic! Thanks for the update.