Can I quit my job or is that dumb

[Anonymous]

I’m thinking of resigning because I’m super burned out from working + pandemic parenting a toddler (yay Covid daycare closures), but keep thinking it’s a really stupid thing to do. Im an in-house attorney making around 250k. The hours aren’t that terrible but we are in the office 3 days/week and the commute is taking its toll (I had a kid during the pandemic so the commute is hitting a different way now, and I’m also in a satellite office with no team members or business partners, so I commute to sit in an office by myself - there has been no flexibility on this even when I point out it doesn’t make sense).

My husband has a demanding job making $1-2m but it’s in a super volatile industry and there’s no guarantee that salary will continue. He supports me resigning (I do not want a different job - it’s either keep the one I have where I have a lot of good will and flexibility built up or quit). The house is a mess, my body is a mess, and I just want a break to take care of my personal/family life - plus we want another child and I keep putting it off because of how overwhelmed I am with life already (I’m 36 so don’t want to keep waiting.)

Am I delusional in thinking it’s ok to quit? I know people will say to outsource cleaning and cooking and get a nanny to get myself more time but I honestly would rather do that myself than try to manage finding good people to do that for us.

[Anonymous]

I would interview for a different job - many in house positions offering full remote work. Then quit if it’s still unmanageable. I personally do not like not working. You can have another child too - many employers offer good working conditions to support families.

Other questions: do you have debt? Enough savings? Only you know your finances.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are looking for permission to quit. You want to quit whether it is smart or not. At 36 if you stay home for any period of time it will be harder for you to get back in due to age.

With her DH's Income, are you saving heavily? Really get a clear-eyed picture of your financial future, including spending and longterm costs. Just make sure you know what you are getting into, rather than simply making a convenient decision that you might regret when you aren't so burnt out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would interview for a different job - many in house positions offering full remote work. Then quit if it’s still unmanageable. I personally do not like not working. You can have another child too - many employers offer good working conditions to support families.

Other questions: do you have debt? Enough savings? Only you know your finances.

Thanks for your thoughts - we do have what I think are good savings at this point ($4m between brokerage, 401ks and savings/checking accounts), only debt is mortgage $700k.

What did you not like about not working?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you are looking for permission to quit. You want to quit whether it is smart or not. At 36 if you stay home for any period of time it will be harder for you to get back in due to age.

With her DH's Income, are you saving heavily? Really get a clear-eyed picture of your financial future, including spending and longterm costs. Just make sure you know what you are getting into, rather than simply making a convenient decision that you might regret when you aren't so burnt out.

Yes you’re right - I am looking for permission to quit and that I’m not making a horrible mistake! If only I had a crystal ball of the future lol. I’m a risk averse person by nature so that’s really what’s holding me back.

[Anonymous]

I'm with you, OP. If you want one voice of support, I say go for it.

[Anonymous]

I mean I think you can quit, if you want to be a stay at home parent. But honestly as a woman in a somewhat similar position, I would find being a SAHM way more difficult than working. I have an awesome nanny and that makes all the difference in the world. No pandemic closures, she does the kids laundry and keeps the house tidy, it’s the best.

But if you don’t want to work, I don’t see why you need to.

[Anonymous]

If you can financially afford not to work, don't work. There's no trophy for working when you don't need to.

But, always have your own money. If that means your spouse needs to put money in an account for you or pay you a salary to stay home, set that up. Never be unable to leave for lack of funds.

That's on top of sufficient family savings for retirement, college, private school, etc. For planning purposes, assume you are never going back to work and must live on your spouse's income or the family savings.

[Anonymous]

OP, go on a retreat for a few days by yourself, sleep, get massage, walk and think. You want to be rested and rational when making this decision, not overwhelmed and sleep deprived. I guarantee different mindset after a few days of rest alone - no matter what decision you end up making. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can financially afford not to work, don't work. There's no trophy for working when you don't need to.

But, always have your own money. If that means your spouse needs to put money in an account for you or pay you a salary to stay home, set that up. Never be unable to leave for lack of funds.

That's on top of sufficient family savings for retirement, college, private school, etc. For planning purposes, assume you are never going back to work and must live on your spouse's income or the family savings.

Thanks, I hadn’t really thought about that (having my own money) - will give it some thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you, OP. If you want one voice of support, I say go for it.

Thanks! I’m surprised that so many people would rather work than stay home… I’ve never felt that way! Not that it’s a bad decision for them, I just really thought most people would rather not work if that was possible haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, go on a retreat for a few days by yourself, sleep, get massage, walk and think. You want to be rested and rational when making this decision, not overwhelmed and sleep deprived. I guarantee different mindset after a few days of rest alone - no matter what decision you end up making. Good luck.

Thanks… I don’t think any sort of trip or relaxation is possible in the foreseeable future but maybe I am just at a low point right now (we all have Covid, no daycare for weeks, seems like everything is hanging by a thread.)

[Anonymous]

You have $4 million net worth and husband is bringing in $1 million? QUIT

[Anonymous]

Hell yeah girl. Quit and eventually do something better that you like. Or at least say you’ll quit if you can’t WFH full time. Pare down your lifestyle and bank DH’s salary so you can both work to live not live to work.

[Anonymous]

You only have one life op and you can only do it once. You are in a position to be able to make that decision due to your husbands success. Most people will never have the opportunity to make the same decision.