Shocking 6 yo behavior at playground

[Anonymous]

That's bad behavior, but not shocking, OP.

And also enough of this "I have a girl, boys are so bad" stuff that you are implying.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to reframe this as "heartbreaking" behavior at the playground and I would feel a little better about this post. You are so condemning of this family, as if they have the tools to change this situation but are simply too lazy/unwilling/incompetent to implement them. I think you need to come from a place of empathy when you see kids doing things that are out of the norm.

What is shocking is your lack of empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a child that behaves like this I can tell you that he’s been in therapy for years. Yes he has mental illnesses. He is medicated and has been inpatient numerous times—the first when he was 6.

As a family, we’ve been dealing with this for a long time. What you heard was jarring to you because you’ve never heard it before. As a someone that lives with this day in and day out, I know when my son is saying out of control things with intent and when he is just looking for attention. His siblings also know.

The behavior wasn’t impacting you. As others have said, you don’t have to invite the kid over for a playdate. And to the poster that commented about raising a sociopath—you have no idea. The mental health crisis in this country is horrific. I’m in support groups with parents that have kids sitting in ERs for WEEKS. The hospitals are trying to discharge the kids to the parents and the parents are saying they won’t take them home; that they need help. The public doesn’t see all the help that parents try to get for their children only to find that help is not available.

OP—no it’s not NT behavior. I hope you never have to experience the judgement of someone like you as you do your best to parent the kid you have. May your family never have to deal with mental health issues.

For some kids its mental illness, some kids its parenting. The difference is you got your child help and these parents are ignoring it. If your kids behave like that in public, you don't take them out.

I would disagree with that. What you’re advocating is that people who are different shouldn’t be seen in public. That’s pretty old school thinking. As a society, we need to be accepting of all types of people. If they aren’t hurting your family, let them be.

I don’t agree that the behavior wasn’t affecting OP’s child, and surely the “I want you to die” comment was affecting the child’s sibling. It’s not harmless for a child to be exposed to verbal abuse, it’s highly distressing, and we don’t want children growing up to think that sort of targeted, hurtful language towards others is in bounds. Certainly the nerf stuff and roughhousing is a different category altogether, and much more typical behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a child that behaves like this I can tell you that he’s been in therapy for years. Yes he has mental illnesses. He is medicated and has been inpatient numerous times—the first when he was 6.

As a family, we’ve been dealing with this for a long time. What you heard was jarring to you because you’ve never heard it before. As a someone that lives with this day in and day out, I know when my son is saying out of control things with intent and when he is just looking for attention. His siblings also know.

The behavior wasn’t impacting you. As others have said, you don’t have to invite the kid over for a playdate. And to the poster that commented about raising a sociopath—you have no idea. The mental health crisis in this country is horrific. I’m in support groups with parents that have kids sitting in ERs for WEEKS. The hospitals are trying to discharge the kids to the parents and the parents are saying they won’t take them home; that they need help. The public doesn’t see all the help that parents try to get for their children only to find that help is not available.

OP—no it’s not NT behavior. I hope you never have to experience the judgement of someone like you as you do your best to parent the kid you have. May your family never have to deal with mental health issues.

For some kids its mental illness, some kids its parenting. The difference is you got your child help and these parents are ignoring it. If your kids behave like that in public, you don't take them out.

I would disagree with that. What you’re advocating is that people who are different shouldn’t be seen in public. That’s pretty old school thinking. As a society, we need to be accepting of all types of people. If they aren’t hurting your family, let them be.

I don’t agree that the behavior wasn’t affecting OP’s child, and surely the “I want you to die” comment was affecting the child’s sibling. It’s not harmless for a child to be exposed to verbal abuse, it’s highly distressing, and we don’t want children growing up to think that sort of targeted, hurtful language towards others is in bounds. Certainly the nerf stuff and roughhousing is a different category altogether, and much more typical behavior.

PP, you remind me of some friends of ours who did not meet up with us for the weekend when they came to DC, I later found out, because it would have been "too distressing and sad" for their 5 year old to deal with our kid's disability. There are disabled persons in the world. They exist. I have no idea if this kid has special needs, is having a bad day, is a brat, or whatever. But it's not this family's responsibility to alter their lives so that your little precious is not affected. It's your responsibility to teach your child about disabilities and answer your child's questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a child that behaves like this I can tell you that he’s been in therapy for years. Yes he has mental illnesses. He is medicated and has been inpatient numerous times—the first when he was 6.

As a family, we’ve been dealing with this for a long time. What you heard was jarring to you because you’ve never heard it before. As a someone that lives with this day in and day out, I know when my son is saying out of control things with intent and when he is just looking for attention. His siblings also know.

The behavior wasn’t impacting you. As others have said, you don’t have to invite the kid over for a playdate. And to the poster that commented about raising a sociopath—you have no idea. The mental health crisis in this country is horrific. I’m in support groups with parents that have kids sitting in ERs for WEEKS. The hospitals are trying to discharge the kids to the parents and the parents are saying they won’t take them home; that they need help. The public doesn’t see all the help that parents try to get for their children only to find that help is not available.

OP—no it’s not NT behavior. I hope you never have to experience the judgement of someone like you as you do your best to parent the kid you have. May your family never have to deal with mental health issues.

For some kids its mental illness, some kids its parenting. The difference is you got your child help and these parents are ignoring it. If your kids behave like that in public, you don't take them out.

I would disagree with that. What you’re advocating is that people who are different shouldn’t be seen in public. That’s pretty old school thinking. As a society, we need to be accepting of all types of people. If they aren’t hurting your family, let them be.

I don’t agree that the behavior wasn’t affecting OP’s child, and surely the “I want you to die” comment was affecting the child’s sibling. It’s not harmless for a child to be exposed to verbal abuse, it’s highly distressing, and we don’t want children growing up to think that sort of targeted, hurtful language towards others is in bounds. Certainly the nerf stuff and roughhousing is a different category altogether, and much more typical behavior.

PP, you remind me of some friends of ours who did not meet up with us for the weekend when they came to DC, I later found out, because it would have been "too distressing and sad" for their 5 year old to deal with our kid's disability. There are disabled persons in the world. They exist. I have no idea if this kid has special needs, is having a bad day, is a brat, or whatever. But it's not this family's responsibility to alter their lives so that your little precious is not affected. It's your responsibility to teach your child about disabilities and answer your child's questions.

Asking someone to take their child home from a playground if he is shouting “I want you to die” at other children, or at the very least a visible time out, is not to much to ask of anyone. And we have no idea if there is any sort of disability at play here - you suspect there might be, but we certainly don’t know that. I do believe all parents have responsibilities, and that can be asked without judgment of the child in question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a child that behaves like this I can tell you that he’s been in therapy for years. Yes he has mental illnesses. He is medicated and has been inpatient numerous times—the first when he was 6.

As a family, we’ve been dealing with this for a long time. What you heard was jarring to you because you’ve never heard it before. As a someone that lives with this day in and day out, I know when my son is saying out of control things with intent and when he is just looking for attention. His siblings also know.

The behavior wasn’t impacting you. As others have said, you don’t have to invite the kid over for a playdate. And to the poster that commented about raising a sociopath—you have no idea. The mental health crisis in this country is horrific. I’m in support groups with parents that have kids sitting in ERs for WEEKS. The hospitals are trying to discharge the kids to the parents and the parents are saying they won’t take them home; that they need help. The public doesn’t see all the help that parents try to get for their children only to find that help is not available.

OP—no it’s not NT behavior. I hope you never have to experience the judgement of someone like you as you do your best to parent the kid you have. May your family never have to deal with mental health issues.

For some kids its mental illness, some kids its parenting. The difference is you got your child help and these parents are ignoring it. If your kids behave like that in public, you don't take them out.

I would disagree with that. What you’re advocating is that people who are different shouldn’t be seen in public. That’s pretty old school thinking. As a society, we need to be accepting of all types of people. If they aren’t hurting your family, let them be.

I don’t agree that the behavior wasn’t affecting OP’s child, and surely the “I want you to die” comment was affecting the child’s sibling. It’s not harmless for a child to be exposed to verbal abuse, it’s highly distressing, and we don’t want children growing up to think that sort of targeted, hurtful language towards others is in bounds. Certainly the nerf stuff and roughhousing is a different category altogether, and much more typical behavior.

PP, you remind me of some friends of ours who did not meet up with us for the weekend when they came to DC, I later found out, because it would have been "too distressing and sad" for their 5 year old to deal with our kid's disability. There are disabled persons in the world. They exist. I have no idea if this kid has special needs, is having a bad day, is a brat, or whatever. But it's not this family's responsibility to alter their lives so that your little precious is not affected. It's your responsibility to teach your child about disabilities and answer your child's questions.

Asking someone to take their child home from a playground if he is shouting “I want you to die” at other children, or at the very least a visible time out, is not to much to ask of anyone. And we have no idea if there is any sort of disability at play here - you suspect there might be, but we certainly don’t know that. I do believe all parents have responsibilities, and that can be asked without judgment of the child in question.

Not what happened here.

[Anonymous]

This is within the realm of normal behavior. We don’t have enough context to know the extent to which this is a bigger problem. The little boy was obviously struggling and angry at his sister and mother. In terms of the sister it is a different situation if it’s a one-off dysregulated expression of anger or If it’s a common occurrence. I like this video on approaching angry expressions towards parents (she does talk a bit about expressions towards sibling but does emphasize it is contextual. https://m.facebook.com/watch/?v=2499067423572237&ref=sharing

In any case I agree more compassion and less judgement towards this family is called for here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a child that behaves like this I can tell you that he’s been in therapy for years. Yes he has mental illnesses. He is medicated and has been inpatient numerous times—the first when he was 6.

As a family, we’ve been dealing with this for a long time. What you heard was jarring to you because you’ve never heard it before. As a someone that lives with this day in and day out, I know when my son is saying out of control things with intent and when he is just looking for attention. His siblings also know.

The behavior wasn’t impacting you. As others have said, you don’t have to invite the kid over for a playdate. And to the poster that commented about raising a sociopath—you have no idea. The mental health crisis in this country is horrific. I’m in support groups with parents that have kids sitting in ERs for WEEKS. The hospitals are trying to discharge the kids to the parents and the parents are saying they won’t take them home; that they need help. The public doesn’t see all the help that parents try to get for their children only to find that help is not available.

OP—no it’s not NT behavior. I hope you never have to experience the judgement of someone like you as you do your best to parent the kid you have. May your family never have to deal with mental health issues.

For some kids its mental illness, some kids its parenting. The difference is you got your child help and these parents are ignoring it. If your kids behave like that in public, you don't take them out.

I would disagree with that. What you’re advocating is that people who are different shouldn’t be seen in public. That’s pretty old school thinking. As a society, we need to be accepting of all types of people. If they aren’t hurting your family, let them be.

I don’t agree that the behavior wasn’t affecting OP’s child, and surely the “I want you to die” comment was affecting the child’s sibling. It’s not harmless for a child to be exposed to verbal abuse, it’s highly distressing, and we don’t want children growing up to think that sort of targeted, hurtful language towards others is in bounds. Certainly the nerf stuff and roughhousing is a different category altogether, and much more typical behavior.

PP, you remind me of some friends of ours who did not meet up with us for the weekend when they came to DC, I later found out, because it would have been "too distressing and sad" for their 5 year old to deal with our kid's disability. There are disabled persons in the world. They exist. I have no idea if this kid has special needs, is having a bad day, is a brat, or whatever. But it's not this family's responsibility to alter their lives so that your little precious is not affected. It's your responsibility to teach your child about disabilities and answer your child's questions.

Yea, I used to be all woke and thought it was important to expose my child to various disabilities. Then a mentally disabled, MUCH bigger boy seriously hurt my child at the playground. It was traumatic for her and could have hurt her very badly. Parent was oblivious, was sitting on a bench playing on their phone.

Same thing happened in a class DD was in, a much larger boy kept hitting and hurting her. When I asked the instructor and parent to intervene, I was told he was autistic. I don't care, a safe environment needs to be provided for other children. I threw a fit and now the boy has to sit out or leave when he misbehaves. Class is much more pleasant for us all now.

Sorry, but my kid doesn't exist to be a punching bag for someone else's little precious. If it's a dangerous kid, they need to be handled accordingly.

[Anonymous]

OP, when are you going to learn that kids are all a bunch of little sh!ts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please tell me this is not normal behavior for a 5/6 yo. I took my dd, 5, to the neighborhood playground this afternoon and there was another mom there from our neighborhood with her two kids, girl about 4 and boy about 6. The 6 yo boys language and behavior was so disturbing. At one point his sister was climbing the jungle gym and the mom told her to be careful and the little boy goes ‘I don’t care if she falls, I want her to die!’ Then at another point, the boy tossed his little sisters baby doll stroller onto the ground and the mom took him aside to scold him I presume, and he yells out ‘Shut up you’re a dumbie!’ The last straw was when he pulled out a nerf gun, pointed it as his sister and shot her with the nerf.

All through this, the mother mostly stood oblivious (except for attempted stroller incident scolding). In this day and age, how do you let your kid act that way. I’m just hoping he won’t be in my kids school.

He may not be at your kids school but plenty like him will be. You need to just parent your own kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to reframe this as "heartbreaking" behavior at the playground and I would feel a little better about this post. You are so condemning of this family, as if they have the tools to change this situation but are simply too lazy/unwilling/incompetent to implement them. I think you need to come from a place of empathy when you see kids doing things that are out of the norm.

What is shocking is your lack of empathy.

There was nothing about this kid that is heartbreaking or his useless mother who has allowed him to be this way.

[Anonymous]

I am mildly disturbed by how many people in this thread feel this is within the range of normal. It might be typical but it’s not normal, and I wouldn’t tolerate behavior like that from a child of any sex.

But also, if I saw it on the playground I’d wonder where this child is picking up that language. School? TV? Home? It raises concerning questions. That mom might be dealing with a lot more than you think.

But I still think this isn’t normal behavior for boys and we should not accept it as such.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have a boy and girl. My son never behaved like that. My daughter did. I was used to my sweet boy and had to adapt my parenting for my feisty girl!


Yes, it’s within the range of normal.

You call it feisty, I call it abusive (and yes 6 up’s can be both verbally and physically abusive). And no it’s not normal; your daughter has a serious problem you should address.

Ha ha! She’s 11 now and her teachers love her because she’s a model of good behavior. She used to be seated next to the problem boys in elementary because she was a calming influence.

You just have no clue, do you?

I am not the PP you are responding to, but you intimated that your daughter behaved like the 6 year old described. His behavior was not acceptable. Based on the OP I would say the problem is the parent. That boy is clearly using all the negative behavior he can to get her attention.

So if you compare your daughter to him and try to justify it as "feisty" and within the range of normal, then, yes, people on this board will make negative assumptions about you and your daughter.

Maybe think harder before you throw out a post or develop a thicker skin. You are the one without a clue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am mildly disturbed by how many people in this thread feel this is within the range of normal. It might be typical but it’s not normal, and I wouldn’t tolerate behavior like that from a child of any sex.

But also, if I saw it on the playground I’d wonder where this child is picking up that language. School? TV? Home? It raises concerning questions. That mom might be dealing with a lot more than you think.

But I still think this isn’t normal behavior for boys and we should not accept it as such.

It's not "normal", it's a six year old using negative behavior to get attention from his out-to-lunch parent.