Shocking 6 yo behavior at playground

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Children’s nerf guns are made for children. Children use them to shoot soft foam nerf darts at each other. Extremely normal.

You did not know that OP?

Exactly. Can't believe THAT was the straw that broke the camel's back. OP has clearly never been to a birthday party for 5-6-7 year-old boys. It's Nerf dart city. Watch out! Of course we set parameters (no shooting at faces, make sure you've asked someone if they want to play, etc.).

[Anonymous]

My son has an intense temper and would say really upsetting things sometimes, around ages 4-6. He is a very sweet person most of the time, and at 8, almost never has those outbursts anymore. He is just intense and emotional, and likely always will be. We have worked really hard to help him, and noticed a few things: he has to get a full nights sleep, he needs his routines, he needs firm boundaries and he needs limited exposure to certain tv shows which are too intense or aggressive (weirdly, the one show we had to absolutely ban was My Little Pony. Amped my kids beyond belief). He would definitely have done those things that OP describes. But we would also have left the playground before it escalated to that level. I see a therapist and she has assured me it’s in the realm of normal but she has also helped me strategize and approach the challenges as effectively as possible. People with easier kids don’t always realize how intense certain kids can be.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 children. Hell no this is not normal. Total parenting failure.

[Anonymous]

As the parent of a child that behaves like this I can tell you that he’s been in therapy for years. Yes he has mental illnesses. He is medicated and has been inpatient numerous times—the first when he was 6.

As a family, we’ve been dealing with this for a long time. What you heard was jarring to you because you’ve never heard it before. As a someone that lives with this day in and day out, I know when my son is saying out of control things with intent and when he is just looking for attention. His siblings also know.

The behavior wasn’t impacting you. As others have said, you don’t have to invite the kid over for a playdate. And to the poster that commented about raising a sociopath—you have no idea. The mental health crisis in this country is horrific. I’m in support groups with parents that have kids sitting in ERs for WEEKS. The hospitals are trying to discharge the kids to the parents and the parents are saying they won’t take them home; that they need help. The public doesn’t see all the help that parents try to get for their children only to find that help is not available.

OP—no it’s not NT behavior. I hope you never have to experience the judgement of someone like you as you do your best to parent the kid you have. May your family never have to deal with mental health issues.

[Anonymous]

I also agree not normal. I have an almost 6 year old and I overheard one of the neighbors kids (6.5) telling his nanny to do xyz or he would punch her. it makes me wonder about abuse at home, especially with the pandemic and many kids/parents being at home together much longer than usual. A kid doesn't say that kind of stuff without being exposed to it somewhere...

[Anonymous]

I have a bunch of rowdy and bouncing off the wall boys myself but they have not acted like this but what they watch is restricted so that it is age and subject appropriate and I have disabled the search feature on their devices. But one of DC1's 6 yo friends used language like this and my guess was it was probably from watching shows that were inappropriate for his age - noticed the kid had a nanny at drop off and pick up and was with nannies at the playground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a child that behaves like this I can tell you that he’s been in therapy for years. Yes he has mental illnesses. He is medicated and has been inpatient numerous times—the first when he was 6.

As a family, we’ve been dealing with this for a long time. What you heard was jarring to you because you’ve never heard it before. As a someone that lives with this day in and day out, I know when my son is saying out of control things with intent and when he is just looking for attention. His siblings also know.

The behavior wasn’t impacting you. As others have said, you don’t have to invite the kid over for a playdate. And to the poster that commented about raising a sociopath—you have no idea. The mental health crisis in this country is horrific. I’m in support groups with parents that have kids sitting in ERs for WEEKS. The hospitals are trying to discharge the kids to the parents and the parents are saying they won’t take them home; that they need help. The public doesn’t see all the help that parents try to get for their children only to find that help is not available.

OP—no it’s not NT behavior. I hope you never have to experience the judgement of someone like you as you do your best to parent the kid you have. May your family never have to deal with mental health issues.

This. I'm so sorry for what you are going through, PP. Our kid's challenges are not quite at this level, but I totally feel you and have been there in my own way.

[Anonymous]

It’s bad behavior and definitely wouldn’t fly with me, but it’s not shocking. Kids try out things they’ve heard and push boundaries. It’s the parents’ job to guide them and let them know when something is inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s somewhat normal for kids to test limits with behavior like that, but it’s the parent’s responsibility to teach them that behavior isn’t acceptable.

Nerf gun - kids do that, but I teach mine we absolutely do not shoot other people without consent (if at all). Nerf gun would have been immediately removed.

Throwing the doll and saying I’m a dummy - would have gone home if kid was alone, otherwise would have to sit in time out the rest of the playtime so other kid isn’t punished.

Saying I hope she dies - absolutely unacceptable. Time out the rest of the playtime, punishment when we got home, and a very very VERY long discussion on why we don’t say things like that.

Sounds like a sad situation. Boy is learning to be an abuser, girl is learning she doesn’t get protected from abuse. The parents need to intervene. Really concerning how many people here think this behavior is acceptable because “boys will be boys” - no, boys need to learn to not be violent.

[Anonymous]

You take your child and go to another park. There is a reason this kid is behaving that way and its the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a child that behaves like this I can tell you that he’s been in therapy for years. Yes he has mental illnesses. He is medicated and has been inpatient numerous times—the first when he was 6.

As a family, we’ve been dealing with this for a long time. What you heard was jarring to you because you’ve never heard it before. As a someone that lives with this day in and day out, I know when my son is saying out of control things with intent and when he is just looking for attention. His siblings also know.

The behavior wasn’t impacting you. As others have said, you don’t have to invite the kid over for a playdate. And to the poster that commented about raising a sociopath—you have no idea. The mental health crisis in this country is horrific. I’m in support groups with parents that have kids sitting in ERs for WEEKS. The hospitals are trying to discharge the kids to the parents and the parents are saying they won’t take them home; that they need help. The public doesn’t see all the help that parents try to get for their children only to find that help is not available.

OP—no it’s not NT behavior. I hope you never have to experience the judgement of someone like you as you do your best to parent the kid you have. May your family never have to deal with mental health issues.

For some kids its mental illness, some kids its parenting. The difference is you got your child help and these parents are ignoring it. If your kids behave like that in public, you don't take them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a child that behaves like this I can tell you that he’s been in therapy for years. Yes he has mental illnesses. He is medicated and has been inpatient numerous times—the first when he was 6.

As a family, we’ve been dealing with this for a long time. What you heard was jarring to you because you’ve never heard it before. As a someone that lives with this day in and day out, I know when my son is saying out of control things with intent and when he is just looking for attention. His siblings also know.

The behavior wasn’t impacting you. As others have said, you don’t have to invite the kid over for a playdate. And to the poster that commented about raising a sociopath—you have no idea. The mental health crisis in this country is horrific. I’m in support groups with parents that have kids sitting in ERs for WEEKS. The hospitals are trying to discharge the kids to the parents and the parents are saying they won’t take them home; that they need help. The public doesn’t see all the help that parents try to get for their children only to find that help is not available.

OP—no it’s not NT behavior. I hope you never have to experience the judgement of someone like you as you do your best to parent the kid you have. May your family never have to deal with mental health issues.

When did you know something was wrong? What kind of discipline did you use with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a child that behaves like this I can tell you that he’s been in therapy for years. Yes he has mental illnesses. He is medicated and has been inpatient numerous times—the first when he was 6.

As a family, we’ve been dealing with this for a long time. What you heard was jarring to you because you’ve never heard it before. As a someone that lives with this day in and day out, I know when my son is saying out of control things with intent and when he is just looking for attention. His siblings also know.

The behavior wasn’t impacting you. As others have said, you don’t have to invite the kid over for a playdate. And to the poster that commented about raising a sociopath—you have no idea. The mental health crisis in this country is horrific. I’m in support groups with parents that have kids sitting in ERs for WEEKS. The hospitals are trying to discharge the kids to the parents and the parents are saying they won’t take them home; that they need help. The public doesn’t see the help that parents try to get for their children only to find that help is not available.

OP—no it’s not NT behavior. I hope you never have to experience the judgement of someone like you as you do your best to parent the kid you have. May your family never have to deal with mental health issues.

When did you know something was wrong? What kind of discipline did you use with him?

18 months. Started with all the basics—timeouts, loss of toys/outings, review of appropriate behavior, social stories, positive reinforcement, time-ins. Moved to PCIT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As the parent of a child that behaves like this I can tell you that he’s been in therapy for years. Yes he has mental illnesses. He is medicated and has been inpatient numerous times—the first when he was 6.

As a family, we’ve been dealing with this for a long time. What you heard was jarring to you because you’ve never heard it before. As a someone that lives with this day in and day out, I know when my son is saying out of control things with intent and when he is just looking for attention. His siblings also know.

The behavior wasn’t impacting you. As others have said, you don’t have to invite the kid over for a playdate. And to the poster that commented about raising a sociopath—you have no idea. The mental health crisis in this country is horrific. I’m in support groups with parents that have kids sitting in ERs for WEEKS. The hospitals are trying to discharge the kids to the parents and the parents are saying they won’t take them home; that they need help. The public doesn’t see all the help that parents try to get for their children only to find that help is not available.

OP—no it’s not NT behavior. I hope you never have to experience the judgement of someone like you as you do your best to parent the kid you have. May your family never have to deal with mental health issues.

For some kids its mental illness, some kids its parenting. The difference is you got your child help and these parents are ignoring it. If your kids behave like that in public, you don't take them out.

I would disagree with that. What you’re advocating is that people who are different shouldn’t be seen in public. That’s pretty old school thinking. As a society, we need to be accepting of all types of people. If they aren’t hurting your family, let them be.

[Anonymous]

It's not good behavior but it's not shocking at all.

I am sure there are moms of meek girls who judged me for things like this with my 3 boys.