Terrified of being an older mom

[Anonymous]

Why are you so tired at 35? Not normal. See a doctor.

[Anonymous]

I had my first at 29 and the other moms in my child’s preschool called me “baby”… not fun. Had my third at 34 and I much more average (thought still on the young side). In the private school realm, It seems that average age of first child is closer to 40 than 30…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ummm you are not an old mom. signed, first at 37 and now 24 weeks with second at 42

Ummm if a geriatric pregnancy doesn’t result in an “old mom” what does??!! Or are you saying there is no such thing as an old mom? Do you consider yourself a young mom at 42?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my third child at 38. I’m now 43 with a preschooler and don’t feel old at all when I’m around her preschool friends.

Around the DMV being in 30's or 40's with young kids is normal. Very few parents in 20's around here.

Pp here. I do think I am on the older side but I also have a child in middle school. I feel like the youngest mom at middle school and the oldest mom at preschool. I would say most of the preschool moms are in their mid-late 30s. I don’t look old but I am definitely older than most of the other moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The newborn phase is not forever. (though other phases may be tiring) Hopefully "older" means you have some money. Outsourse everything you can and just enjoy your child.

This! I was 34 when our twins (spontaneous, no IVF or other treatments) were born and it meant we were already both well-established at our jobs so we had seniority and flexibility that has given us great schedules plus we had money to pay for all the stuff we didn't want to do (cleaning, laundry, lawn, etc.) so that we've had a ton of time with our kids the last 8 years. Life can be exhausting but there are some great perks to having kids in your mid 30s!

[Anonymous]

You’re not “older” at 35 around here! Get yourself strong and in good physical shape now and stay that way through pregnancy and postpartum and beyond. It makes life so much better when your body feels good.

[Anonymous]

Start exercising regularly and importantly, maintain that routine during your pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Start exercising if you have no energy at 35. But the real answer is this is generalized anxiety and has nothing to do with being an "older" mom. You're going to be a perfectly averaged-age FTM for the DC area. Look around and let the terror melt away.

I agree. And don’t feel afraid or ashamed about your age. Five years from now you will look back and think it’s funny that you thought 35 is old. It’s not. And the thing is, babies and toddlers are exhausting for parents of all ages. I had my kids at 37 and 39, and they were terrible sleepers. But I would have been pretty tired had I done that in my 20s or early 30s. I met new moms in their early 30s and they complained just as much about fatigue in those baby/toddler years. I’m 46 now and parenting is much less exhausting compared to the baby/toddler years. You will figure it out what works best for you and your family.

And I agree with PPs that higher income (at 35 compared to 25j makes a difference. I could not have afforded childcare plus housecleaners, grocery delivery, etc in my 20s or early 30s.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Also, 35 is not an age where you experience significantly more fatigue than you did 5-7 years ago. A healthy 35-year old is more than capable of caring for newborns.

[Anonymous]

Your alternative is no kids. You can’t turn back time.

I’m another who can’t quite wrap my head around not having the baby energy at 35. My last kid was at age 48. Agree with people who said take care of yourself and stay in shape.

[Anonymous]

You have no idea of just how capable and energetic you will be in order to care for your baby. You will be all in and completely able to raise for your child with patience, love and energy you didn’t even consider you had.

[Anonymous]

I adopted an infant when I was 48. She’s graduating from college this year. There were things I couldn’t do as easily with her as a younger parent might have been able to, but raising her was such a joyful time. She is a wonderful young adult. At 35, you will be fine.

[Anonymous]

I'm 43 and have a lot of energy, in part because chasing after. a 6 year old and a 2 year old is a built on workout program. If you are exhausted, I'd focus on fixing that.

[Anonymous]

We had neighbors who adopted tweens in their early 50s, they then moved to California with them because the girls got accepted into college there (UCLA I think). It was working out wonderfully for them and I really miss having them in the neighborhood. Maybe a path to consider?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a kid when I was 24. I was treated like crap by all the mom's your age - trust me you'll be totally average age around here.

Sorry for your experience but, your post really wasn't as helpful as you think.