Terrified of being an older mom

[Anonymous]

I always wanted to have children earlier but couldn't due to financial issues. I am about to turn 35 and will be TTC soon. I already feel so tired and exhausted that the idea of caring for a new born seems terrifying.

How do older parents deal with lack of energy to care of children?

[Anonymous]

at 35 you are not 'older'.

[Anonymous]

Start exercising if you have no energy at 35. But the real answer is this is generalized anxiety and has nothing to do with being an "older" mom. You're going to be a perfectly averaged-age FTM for the DC area. Look around and let the terror melt away.

[Anonymous]

The newborn phase is not forever. (though other phases may be tiring) Hopefully "older" means you have some money. Outsourse everything you can and just enjoy your child.

[Anonymous]

I was 35 for first (5 years of infertility!) and 37.5 for second child. It was fine! If you're tired, nap when they do. Let the housework slide. Engage them in picking up toys etc early. You'll probably have more patience as an older parent. Take vitamins. Know that once your kids are around 4 yo, you'll get more sleep as they won't awaken as much. When that time hits, take magnesium at bedtime for more restful sleep. CBD helps too. You're older so hopefully you won't sweat the small stuff.

[Anonymous]

I had my first at 39 and my second at 42. You’ll be fine.

[Anonymous]

I opened this thread expecting someone 10 years older than you are OP.

[Anonymous]

I adopted toddler at 48 so you are youngster. You rest if needed but energy comes.

[Anonymous]

ummm you are not an old mom. signed, first at 37 and now 24 weeks with second at 42

[Anonymous]

I had my first and only at 37. I think it depends on what your fears are.

If you are afraid you will stick out, that people will judge you for being older, then you likely don’t need to worry. Unless you live in a really conservative, homogenous place, no one will blink at a mom of young kids in her late 30s or early 40s. Trust me— that’s me! It’s so common.

If you are afraid of not being able to keep up, I would not let that stop you but I do think you have to be smart as an older mom. Take care of yourself. Eat well, sleep well, get exercise. I do think I have less overall energy than fellow moms who are a decade younger than me. I do have to pace myself more and be more thoughtful about my health.

BUT I also have more life experience and I think that helps. My observation is that I’m a bit more confident in my parenting than many younger moms, and also less likely to get swept up into all the pressure to do certain things or be a certain kind of mom. You can be a great mom at any age, but I personally find my age works in my favor. Also, I have more money to hire help than I would have if I’d had my kid when I was younger. That helps!

[Anonymous]

I hear you. I had my baby at 41. I thought she’d come a lot earlier but I got married at 32 then went to grad school and started a new career then we had fertility issues. I am so incredibly thankful I got the opportunity to be a mother that I don’t even think about my age. Sure I wish she’d come around a few years earlier but it doesn’t really matter. And there are all the positives others have said. It’ll be fine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Start exercising if you have no energy at 35. But the real answer is this is generalized anxiety and has nothing to do with being an "older" mom. You're going to be a perfectly averaged-age FTM for the DC area. Look around and let the terror melt away.

THIS, OP.

[Anonymous]

I had a kid when I was 24. I was treated like crap by all the mom's your age - trust me you'll be totally average age around here.

[Anonymous]

I had my only child at 45. It’s been great. Just make sure you stay in good shape.

[Anonymous]

At 36 with my last kid I still think I'm pretty young for this area!