Terrified of being an older mom

[Anonymous]

I was 32 when I had my first. Several of my coworkers were also having their first, at age 35+. I felt like the "baby" mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Start exercising if you have no energy at 35. But the real answer is this is generalized anxiety and has nothing to do with being an "older" mom. You're going to be a perfectly averaged-age FTM for the DC area. Look around and let the terror melt away.

+1

I had my three kids between 35 and 40. I’m 45 now and have plenty of energy. Daily workouts will do that!

[Anonymous]

You can suffer from a lack or an excess of energy at any age. Address that first. I was in a much better place with my 2nd at 39 than I was with my first at 35, but both were healthy, typical pregnancies.

[Anonymous]

Had kids at 36 and 38.5. Totally normal in this area. I am not an athlete or super fit - if you don’t have energy to parent at age 36, something else is wrong and you should talk to your Dr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always wanted to have children earlier but couldn't due to financial issues. I am about to turn 35 and will be TTC soon. I already feel so tired and exhausted that the idea of caring for a new born seems terrifying.

How do older parents deal with lack of energy to care of children?

It is utterly exhausting and I never sit in front of a TV. Ever. 10 years and counting. Be sure you want children. It is a lot of work. We have 1.

[Anonymous]

I had my first at 35 and last at 38. You can always hire help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:at 35 you are not 'older'.

35 is the beginning of geriatric pregnancy. She will be referred to an AMA -- Advanced Maternal Age. So yes, she is older in terms of being pregnant.

[Anonymous]

I had my child at 36 and never thought I was an older mom! About 1/2 of my DS's friends parents are around the same age if not older.

Am I tired? Sure. But parenthood is tiring no matter what age.

[Anonymous]

I had my kids between 36 and 41. I'm careening toward my mid-50s now. It's been great! I don't have the energy level of a 38-year-old mom of a middle schooler, but I have more wisdom, I pick my battles so much better and I don't waste my time trying to be their friend. I can stand alone, on my own, and it's fine. There are benefits to being an older mom. You are more centered, and confident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always wanted to have children earlier but couldn't due to financial issues. I am about to turn 35 and will be TTC soon. I already feel so tired and exhausted that the idea of caring for a new born seems terrifying.

How do older parents deal with lack of energy to care of children?

Any younger and you would get looks around here. Trust me - I had my first at 29 and people acted like I was a teen mom.

[Anonymous]

That's a really normal age to have kids in this area. My first was born just before I turned 25 and I am regularly at least at least ten years younger than the other moms.

[Anonymous]

Where do you live??

35 years old & a first-time mom is normal in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was 32 when I had my first. Several of my coworkers were also having their first, at age 35+. I felt like the "baby" mother.

I had my first at 31 and was called a “young mom” constantly.

My friend had her first at 28 and was basically treated like a teen mom.

[Anonymous]

I had baby at 40, but I didn't feel tired and exhausted before I had the baby, I felt energetic and not much different than I did at 30. I have felt challenged raising this kid, especially in toddler phase, but I think it would have been challenging at any age.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the others that you’re not old, but I also wanted to say I was surprised that I had *more* energy after having a baby. I was 32 and generally pretty low-energy before baby. Pretty lazy, to be honest. Having a kid forced me to wake up early, go on walks, take her to activities, and in general just made me more active. I find I have way more energy after going on a hike than after laying around watching TV for hours. And the newborn stage sleep deprivation is rough but short.