3rd grader tickles & calls out

[Anonymous]

Year after year I'm having the same issues with my son. He will not keep his hands to himself at school. It's not hurting anyone but it's tickling. I have no idea why he does it or why he won't stop doing it. I've told him to stop and that it's not okay to touch other people and invade their personal space. Additionally, he will not stop calling out in class or correcting other classmates. It's been years of hearing from teachers he lacks self control when it comes to calling out. He is what an observer would call "a know it all". He thinks he knows better than everyone even when I explained he has a lot of learn, let others learn, others learn at their own pace. Etc etc. I've said it all! He has no special education issues. He can't get through one day without arguing with or correcting someone. Anyone with a similar child? Help a mommy out, please.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure he doesn't have a medical issue that would explain this? I would expect a 3rd grader to be able to control himself in this way. If there's no medical explanation, then you have to be stricter - either with consequences for calls from the teacher or he has to earn privileges through good days.

[Anonymous]

OP here. He really is just a normal kid in all other ways. He's always been very affectionate and hands on. Unfortunately that isn't flying in public school! I've taken tv away sometimes and allowance but feel like anything else wouldn't fit the crime.

[Anonymous]

I would like to add that his school gets 15 minutes of recess 3x a day. Maybe that's part of it.

[Anonymous]

This may be a time when natural consequences will work. He tickles the wrong guy, he'll get hit. He calls out the wrong person, he'll get back to and will lose friends.

[Anonymous]

He calls out answers in class.

[Anonymous]

In high school I reflexively swung around and decked a guy that snuck up and poked me under my ribs from behind to tickle me.

If you kid tickled me as a kid, I'd punch him in the throat.

For some, tickling is a torturous feeling. For me, it's like someone putting their hands over my mouth and nose.

I think you need to start addressing each and every incident of tickling like you would hitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In high school I reflexively swung around and decked a guy that snuck up and poked me under my ribs from behind to tickle me.

If you kid tickled me as a kid, I'd punch him in the throat.

For some, tickling is a torturous feeling. For me, it's like someone putting their hands over my mouth and nose.

I think you need to start addressing each and every incident of tickling like you would hitting.

Hmm.

[Anonymous]

I really hate being tickled also, but it isn't malicious intent like hitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really hate being tickled also, but it isn't malicious intent like hitting.

I would literally rather be hit than tickled. He needs to know that for many people, it feels just as bad. If he still does it after learning how bad t can be for others (after already ignoring the boundaries thing) he's going to have serious issues ahead. Any invasion of other people's space should be dealt with.

It sounds like he has problems with impulse control which can be part of ADD or executive function problems.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he has always talked back. Probably would have been easier if you had recognized and addressed this more directly and firmly 5 or so years ago, certainly the first time his teacher brought it to your attention.

Hard behavioral habit to break now that isn't going to get better. Telling him he doesn't know everything isn't ever going to work. I see this all the time with the younger kids coming through school, correcting the teacher, interrupting, etc. lots of disrespect. Maybe come up with a strategy with your teacher that can be enforced equally between school and home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like he has always talked back. Probably would have been easier if you had recognized and addressed this more directly and firmly 5 or so years ago, certainly the first time his teacher brought it to your attention.

Hard behavioral habit to break now that isn't going to get better. Telling him he doesn't know everything isn't ever going to work. I see this all the time with the younger kids coming through school, correcting the teacher, interrupting, etc. lots of disrespect. Maybe come up with a strategy with your teacher that can be enforced equally between school and home.

You're projecting. Talking back isn't mentioned.

[Anonymous]

OP, the teacher needs to do more about behavior and hands to self. He probably need to be in activities or get more exercise. I would get an evaluation to make sure things are ok.

Please address it. My kid comes home every day complaining about another child putting their hands on him. He wouldn't mind tickling but at that age its not appropriate as you know. He is very upset by it. He has SN so he will not complain to the teacher due to his needs. I have talked to the teacher and the child is bothering everyone/not picking on my child but it is very upsetting and is a big deal to some kids.

Some of it is just personality and you want to encourage his personality but in the right way. Maybe do a behavioral chart with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the teacher needs to do more about behavior and hands to self. He probably need to be in activities or get more exercise. I would get an evaluation to make sure things are ok.

Please address it. My kid comes home every day complaining about another child putting their hands on him. He wouldn't mind tickling but at that age its not appropriate as you know. He is very upset by it. He has SN so he will not complain to the teacher due to his needs. I have talked to the teacher and the child is bothering everyone/not picking on my child but it is very upsetting and is a big deal to some kids.

Some of it is just personality and you want to encourage his personality but in the right way. Maybe do a behavioral chart with him?

OP here. Thanks. I've tried a chart but it seems like at almost 9, the consequences have to be more severe but just not sure how. He's not physically hurting anyone and doesn't mean to bother anyone with the touching. I think he believes he's being affectionate. He doesn't like when other kids are wrong and he feels the need to step in and correct them which will probably work out in the end when kids think he's annoying. Hope it doesn't come to that!

[Anonymous]

How do you know it's not impulsivity related to ADHD?