3rd grader tickles & calls out

[Anonymous]

OP again. My son's teacher pretty much ended this kind of behavior or didn't mention it to me the second half the year. I feel like every year we need to restart. I just don't want him to be the kid who is the know it all who tickles. Not a good thing.

[Anonymous]

I was that child. I was immature and insecure. Thus not reading social cues and wanting validation for my smarts all the time.

I grew out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know it's not impulsivity related to ADHD?

He's been evaluated for ADHD and taken tests to measure his IQ etc. he's been identified as gifted but no other issues. He doesn't have these issues in public. He doesn't just tickle strangers. This is school specific.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was that child. I was immature and insecure. Thus not reading social cues and wanting validation for my smarts all the time.

I grew out of it.

OP here. Yes! He doesn't read social cues at all. Could it be nerves??!

[Anonymous]

Can you maybe work with the teacher to implement some pretty harsh consequences?

You tickle once, you lose your iPad time for that evening? Or the teacher moves him to a seat on the side by himself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was that child. I was immature and insecure. Thus not reading social cues and wanting validation for my smarts all the time.

I grew out of it.

OP here. Yes! He doesn't read social cues at all. Could it be nerves??!

Have you had him tested for ADHD? He sounds like he has very poor impulse control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was that child. I was immature and insecure. Thus not reading social cues and wanting validation for my smarts all the time.

I grew out of it.

OP here. Yes! He doesn't read social cues at all. Could it be nerves??!

Have you had him tested for ADHD? He sounds like he has very poor impulse control.

Sigh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was that child. I was immature and insecure. Thus not reading social cues and wanting validation for my smarts all the time.

I grew out of it.

OP here. Yes! He doesn't read social cues at all. Could it be nerves??!

Have you tried working with him on emotion recognition? I.e. when reading books or watching shows, 'does it look like he likes that?' 'why do you think she did that?' to get him thinking about social cues and also that different people experience things differently. Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

Have you talked with him about appropriate behavior? It is not ok for him to just randomly tickle other kids. It is just not. It does not matter if he likes bring tickled, it is inappropriate behavior.

As far as calling out answers. Even if he is smarter than everyone, t is not OK to act like you are. It is never ok yo make others feel bad.

Maybe you could challenge his need to be smart by saying one way he could show how smart he is is by showing he can follow directions and control his behavior. Btw, I think the challenge everything that is said is common at this age. Ni think it is a long slow battle to get then to understand that challenging ideas is sometimes good and sometimes bad.

[Anonymous]

Typical hyperactive ADHD.

You must have him evaluated, because parents will get angry, and he's annoying as hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really hate being tickled also, but it isn't malicious intent like hitting.

Tickling is torture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the teacher needs to do more about behavior and hands to self. He probably need to be in activities or get more exercise. I would get an evaluation to make sure things are ok.

Please address it. My kid comes home every day complaining about another child putting their hands on him. He wouldn't mind tickling but at that age its not appropriate as you know. He is very upset by it. He has SN so he will not complain to the teacher due to his needs. I have talked to the teacher and the child is bothering everyone/not picking on my child but it is very upsetting and is a big deal to some kids.

Some of it is just personality and you want to encourage his personality but in the right way. Maybe do a behavioral chart with him?

OP here. Thanks. I've tried a chart but it seems like at almost 9, the consequences have to be more severe but just not sure how. He's not physically hurting anyone and doesn't mean to bother anyone with the touching. I think he believes he's being affectionate. He doesn't like when other kids are wrong and he feels the need to step in and correct them which will probably work out in the end when kids think he's annoying. Hope it doesn't come to that!

You are wrong here. And your line of thinking is bullshit. It is unwanted touching. His "intent" matters not at all.

He is acting like a little shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the teacher needs to do more about behavior and hands to self. He probably need to be in activities or get more exercise. I would get an evaluation to make sure things are ok.

Please address it. My kid comes home every day complaining about another child putting their hands on him. He wouldn't mind tickling but at that age its not appropriate as you know. He is very upset by it. He has SN so he will not complain to the teacher due to his needs. I have talked to the teacher and the child is bothering everyone/not picking on my child but it is very upsetting and is a big deal to some kids.

Some of it is just personality and you want to encourage his personality but in the right way. Maybe do a behavioral chart with him?

OP here. Thanks. I've tried a chart but it seems like at almost 9, the consequences have to be more severe but just not sure how. He's not physically hurting anyone and doesn't mean to bother anyone with the touching. I think he believes he's being affectionate. He doesn't like when other kids are wrong and he feels the need to step in and correct them which will probably work out in the end when kids think he's annoying. Hope it doesn't come to that!

You are wrong here. And your line of thinking is bullshit. It is unwanted touching. His "intent" matters not at all.

He is acting like a little shit.

NP. He's acting like an immature kid.

No wonder half the kids here are medicated when parents are so absurdly zero tolerance.

[Anonymous]

Look into ADHD- sounds familiar.

[Anonymous]

The kazdin book gets mentioned here quite a bit. It sounds really appropriate for your case. Get it from the library or bookstore and read the whole thing since there are specifics in the book that you can't get online. One tip from there is to look for antecedents - what is happening before the undesirable behavior. Another hour through the steps of priming for the behavior you want to see. Sound like you've talked a lot about what he shouldn't do, but have you talked as much about what he should do?

I also like the pps idea about practicing emotional awareness.