3rd grader tickles & calls out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know it's not impulsivity related to ADHD?

He's been evaluated for ADHD and taken tests to measure his IQ etc. he's been identified as gifted but no other issues. He doesn't have these issues in public. He doesn't just tickle strangers. This is school specific.

Be careful with that. If your child was very young at the time of the eval, or the eval was done by someone other than a very experienced psychologist or developmental pediatrician specialized in ADHD, it's quite likely they missed it. My son was evaluated at 5 by an experienced professional and was only given a tentative diagnosis - fast forward 5 years, after a terrible time in school, etc, and it turns out he has SEVERE inattentive ADHD, which is much more in keeping with his behavior.

[Anonymous]

No social awareness, inappropriate touching, calling out, gifted ... I do know kids just like that. All are on the spectrum though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the teacher needs to do more about behavior and hands to self. He probably need to be in activities or get more exercise. I would get an evaluation to make sure things are ok.

Please address it. My kid comes home every day complaining about another child putting their hands on him. He wouldn't mind tickling but at that age its not appropriate as you know. He is very upset by it. He has SN so he will not complain to the teacher due to his needs. I have talked to the teacher and the child is bothering everyone/not picking on my child but it is very upsetting and is a big deal to some kids.

Some of it is just personality and you want to encourage his personality but in the right way. Maybe do a behavioral chart with him?

OP here. Thanks. I've tried a chart but it seems like at almost 9, the consequences have to be more severe but just not sure how. He's not physically hurting anyone and doesn't mean to bother anyone with the touching. I think he believes he's being affectionate. He doesn't like when other kids are wrong and he feels the need to step in and correct them which will probably work out in the end when kids think he's annoying. Hope it doesn't come to that!

At 9, he needs to understand the he needs to ask for permission to touch someone except family, etc. He may not mean to bother anyone but he is. And, it can be upsetting to kids like mine who have SN and are not always up to saying stop or leave me alone. At some point, he will take it too far and a kid will retaliate or hit him back. I know if it continues I will consider telling my kid to put the other child off him as the child (and it is not your child) is making school miserable for him as he keeps getting attacked either from behind or in the front. I'm sure the school will be angry but they are not doing enough to keep my child safe. My kid is starting to not want to go to school and its bad enough we may have to pull him out or go to another classroom.

If he has been evaluated and everything is ok, then you and the teacher need to make a clear plan. You need to be consistent at home and instead of punishment, I'd make him make ipad/video games/tv/computer time based on good behavior and hands to self. Make a clear chart and have the teacher fill it out daily. The teacher sounds like an issue if he did better the second half of last year. There are probably a lot of kids in the class and he gets very little 1-1 attention or support. Maybe a smaller school, if you could afford a private would be better with a lot more structure. He may just be immature but it needs to be dealt with now or he is going to be bullied very soon as once kids get older enough is enough.

At this point, I'd bring the school counselor in and ask for a 504 and see if he can get some counseling. I'd also see a private therapist who maybe can work with him. Also, get him into some activities, like Karate that can work on self-regulation.

Everyone on this board is ready to push ADD, ADHD and Autism. Its easy and then you medicate and all is well. Medication helps some kids but its not something that should be used till the last resort. Try behavioral techniques first, both at home and at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the teacher needs to do more about behavior and hands to self. He probably need to be in activities or get more exercise. I would get an evaluation to make sure things are ok.

Please address it. My kid comes home every day complaining about another child putting their hands on him. He wouldn't mind tickling but at that age its not appropriate as you know. He is very upset by it. He has SN so he will not complain to the teacher due to his needs. I have talked to the teacher and the child is bothering everyone/not picking on my child but it is very upsetting and is a big deal to some kids.

Some of it is just personality and you want to encourage his personality but in the right way. Maybe do a behavioral chart with him?

OP here. Thanks. I've tried a chart but it seems like at almost 9, the consequences have to be more severe but just not sure how. He's not physically hurting anyone and doesn't mean to bother anyone with the touching. I think he believes he's being affectionate. He doesn't like when other kids are wrong and he feels the need to step in and correct them which will probably work out in the end when kids think he's annoying. Hope it doesn't come to that!

At 9, he needs to understand the he needs to ask for permission to touch someone except family, etc. He may not mean to bother anyone but he is. And, it can be upsetting to kids like mine who have SN and are not always up to saying stop or leave me alone. At some point, he will take it too far and a kid will retaliate or hit him back. I know if it continues I will consider telling my kid to put the other child off him as the child (and it is not your child) is making school miserable for him as he keeps getting attacked either from behind or in the front. I'm sure the school will be angry but they are not doing enough to keep my child safe. My kid is starting to not want to go to school and its bad enough we may have to pull him out or go to another classroom.

If he has been evaluated and everything is ok, then you and the teacher need to make a clear plan. You need to be consistent at home and instead of punishment, I'd make him make ipad/video games/tv/computer time based on good behavior and hands to self. Make a clear chart and have the teacher fill it out daily. The teacher sounds like an issue if he did better the second half of last year. There are probably a lot of kids in the class and he gets very little 1-1 attention or support. Maybe a smaller school, if you could afford a private would be better with a lot more structure. He may just be immature but it needs to be dealt with now or he is going to be bullied very soon as once kids get older enough is enough.

At this point, I'd bring the school counselor in and ask for a 504 and see if he can get some counseling. I'd also see a private therapist who maybe can work with him. Also, get him into some activities, like Karate that can work on self-regulation.

Everyone on this board is ready to push ADD, ADHD and Autism. Its easy and then you medicate and all is well. Medication helps some kids but its not something that should be used till the last resort. Try behavioral techniques first, both at home and at school.

Behavioral therapy would be the right first choice for high functioning autism as well.

[Anonymous]

My son called out until 8th grade. I moved him to an all boys school so it was not an issue. They feel that is common and normal behavior.

I can't hel you with the tickling. When does he do it and how often?

My other son had some OCD/rigidity issues and we did CBT in 3rd and they resolved quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the teacher needs to do more about behavior and hands to self. He probably need to be in activities or get more exercise. I would get an evaluation to make sure things are ok.

Please address it. My kid comes home every day complaining about another child putting their hands on him. He wouldn't mind tickling but at that age its not appropriate as you know. He is very upset by it. He has SN so he will not complain to the teacher due to his needs. I have talked to the teacher and the child is bothering everyone/not picking on my child but it is very upsetting and is a big deal to some kids.

Some of it is just personality and you want to encourage his personality but in the right way. Maybe do a behavioral chart with him?

OP here. Thanks. I've tried a chart but it seems like at almost 9, the consequences have to be more severe but just not sure how. He's not physically hurting anyone and doesn't mean to bother anyone with the touching. I think he believes he's being affectionate. He doesn't like when other kids are wrong and he feels the need to step in and correct them which will probably work out in the end when kids think he's annoying. Hope it doesn't come to that!

You are wrong here. And your line of thinking is bullshit. It is unwanted touching. His "intent" matters not at all.

He is acting like a little shit.

You are the same person posting repeatedly. Go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the teacher needs to do more about behavior and hands to self. He probably need to be in activities or get more exercise. I would get an evaluation to make sure things are ok.

Please address it. My kid comes home every day complaining about another child putting their hands on him. He wouldn't mind tickling but at that age its not appropriate as you know. He is very upset by it. He has SN so he will not complain to the teacher due to his needs. I have talked to the teacher and the child is bothering everyone/not picking on my child but it is very upsetting and is a big deal to some kids.

Some of it is just personality and you want to encourage his personality but in the right way. Maybe do a behavioral chart with him?

OP here. Thanks. I've tried a chart but it seems like at almost 9, the consequences have to be more severe but just not sure how. He's not physically hurting anyone and doesn't mean to bother anyone with the touching. I think he believes he's being affectionate. He doesn't like when other kids are wrong and he feels the need to step in and correct them which will probably work out in the end when kids think he's annoying. Hope it doesn't come to that!

You are wrong here. And your line of thinking is bullshit. It is unwanted touching. His "intent" matters not at all.

He is acting like a little shit.

You are the same person posting repeatedly. Go away.

She's a jerk for how she said it but she isn't wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the teacher needs to do more about behavior and hands to self. He probably need to be in activities or get more exercise. I would get an evaluation to make sure things are ok.

Please address it. My kid comes home every day complaining about another child putting their hands on him. He wouldn't mind tickling but at that age its not appropriate as you know. He is very upset by it. He has SN so he will not complain to the teacher due to his needs. I have talked to the teacher and the child is bothering everyone/not picking on my child but it is very upsetting and is a big deal to some kids.

Some of it is just personality and you want to encourage his personality but in the right way. Maybe do a behavioral chart with him?

OP here. Thanks. I've tried a chart but it seems like at almost 9, the consequences have to be more severe but just not sure how. He's not physically hurting anyone and doesn't mean to bother anyone with the touching. I think he believes he's being affectionate. He doesn't like when other kids are wrong and he feels the need to step in and correct them which will probably work out in the end when kids think he's annoying. Hope it doesn't come to that!

You are wrong here. And your line of thinking is bullshit. It is unwanted touching. His "intent" matters not at all.

He is acting like a little shit.

You are the same person posting repeatedly. Go away.

She's a jerk for how she said it but she isn't wrong.

The PP is not the only one posting that OP's son is a menace! I did as well, and maybe others did too, because it's the truth and if he were in my kids' classes I would be complaining to the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He really is just a normal kid in all other ways. He's always been very affectionate and hands on. Unfortunately that isn't flying in public school! I've taken tv away sometimes and allowance but feel like anything else wouldn't fit the crime.

You are mitigating his behavior. He is annoying to the other children. He is annoying to everyone but you. You are not helping him by saying he's affectionate and hands on. Your little talks with him aren't helping. Neither are your mild punishments. Maybe it's time you get a little tougher with the consequences.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He really is just a normal kid in all other ways. He's always been very affectionate and hands on. Unfortunately that isn't flying in public school! I've taken tv away sometimes and allowance but feel like anything else wouldn't fit the crime.

You are mitigating his behavior. He is annoying to the other children. He is annoying to everyone but you. You are not helping him by saying he's affectionate and hands on. Your little talks with him aren't helping. Neither are your mild punishments. Maybe it's time you get a little tougher with the consequences.

She should have him evaluated again first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the teacher needs to do more about behavior and hands to self. He probably need to be in activities or get more exercise. I would get an evaluation to make sure things are ok.

Please address it. My kid comes home every day complaining about another child putting their hands on him. He wouldn't mind tickling but at that age its not appropriate as you know. He is very upset by it. He has SN so he will not complain to the teacher due to his needs. I have talked to the teacher and the child is bothering everyone/not picking on my child but it is very upsetting and is a big deal to some kids.

Some of it is just personality and you want to encourage his personality but in the right way. Maybe do a behavioral chart with him?

OP here. Thanks. I've tried a chart but it seems like at almost 9, the consequences have to be more severe but just not sure how. He's not physically hurting anyone and doesn't mean to bother anyone with the touching. I think he believes he's being affectionate. He doesn't like when other kids are wrong and he feels the need to step in and correct them which will probably work out in the end when kids think he's annoying. Hope it doesn't come to that!

You are wrong here. And your line of thinking is bullshit. It is unwanted touching. His "intent" matters not at all.

He is acting like a little shit.

You are the same person posting repeatedly. Go away.

She's a jerk for how she said it but she isn't wrong.

The PP is not the only one posting that OP's son is a menace! I did as well, and maybe others did too, because it's the truth and if he were in my kids' classes I would be complaining to the school.

A menace! Quelle horreur!

He's obnoxious, badly behaved. He's in 3rd grade, elementary school. He needs to work on it, improve. He's got plenty of time to do so.

[Anonymous]

The calling out in class seems to fall squarely in the "annoying kid" category but not really anything overly unusual
I think the tickling is in a very different category though - I have a very rough and tumble hyperactive second grader and I truly can't imagine him or any of his classmates tickling each other in school. Keeping your hands to yourself is a pre-k and kinder lesson. It's very unusual in a third grader and really needs to be addressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He really is just a normal kid in all other ways. He's always been very affectionate and hands on. Unfortunately that isn't flying in public school! I've taken tv away sometimes and allowance but feel like anything else wouldn't fit the crime.

You are mitigating his behavior. He is annoying to the other children. He is annoying to everyone but you. You are not helping him by saying he's affectionate and hands on. Your little talks with him aren't helping. Neither are your mild punishments. Maybe it's time you get a little tougher with the consequences.

Agree. Calling out in school and tickling in third grade like this is not only abnormal, but has been a repeat problem for him over the years, punishments aren't working, affects the learning environment for many others, will have him soon enough be labeled by the other kids and their parents, etc. I know you said he was evaluated for ADHD: what precipitated the evaluation? Who did it? How long ago? Has anyone like a teacher or other professional in his life mentioned another evaluation since then, etc.? It is hard...almost impossible, that he has zero issues at home...so he acts completely appropriate (no shouting out, no tickling, follows your rules, etc.) on play dates, at home, etc?

What does "hands on" mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He really is just a normal kid in all other ways. He's always been very affectionate and hands on. Unfortunately that isn't flying in public school! I've taken tv away sometimes and allowance but feel like anything else wouldn't fit the crime.

You are mitigating his behavior. He is annoying to the other children. He is annoying to everyone but you. You are not helping him by saying he's affectionate and hands on. Your little talks with him aren't helping. Neither are your mild punishments. Maybe it's time you get a little tougher with the consequences.

Agree. Calling out in school and tickling in third grade like this is not only abnormal, but has been a repeat problem for him over the years, punishments aren't working, affects the learning environment for many others, will have him soon enough be labeled by the other kids and their parents, etc. I know you said he was evaluated for ADHD: what precipitated the evaluation? Who did it? How long ago? Has anyone like a teacher or other professional in his life mentioned another evaluation since then, etc.? It is hard...almost impossible, that he has zero issues at home...so he acts completely appropriate (no shouting out, no tickling, follows your rules, etc.) on play dates, at home, etc?

What does "hands on" mean?

How long ago was the evaluation? What kind of eval was it? Quick rating scale? Psycho educational? Neuropsych?

Since its been an issue for years, do another thorough eval, as things evolve over time. It certainly sounds like ADHD, maybe something like pragmatic language issues. Has he had an speech and language eval? Counseling may help; is he getting any?