Whitman Teacher and Crew Coach Arrested

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone given a good reason why the Board handed over the letter of complaint to the Coach this past summer (before he was arrested)? Anyone had to know that would chill further complaints. The justifications in the article, such as that the girls had not requested confidentiality, seemed pretty weak. I believe that many of the crew parents did not have all the facts, but that one fairly recent decision by the Board members seems pretty indefensible given that these concerns had been raised before.

It is truly amazing. He was calling the athletes he coached names to the board members regarding the letter and then they renewed his contract!

I have(had) multiple rowers who row out of TBC. Shipley being a creeper wasn't a secret even for the female athletes on other teams. What non-rowing parents may not know is that there are tons of teams down at TBC everyday during the fall and spring seasons. The kids generally know each other from neighborhoods, elementary school, other sports, friends of friends, etc. They see each other every day down on the water and most weekends at regattas. They all talk and gossip. It was well known on our team that Shipley was an asshole to the kids but got results so everyone put up with him. He was openly abusive to his athletes which made a lot the the females from other teams feel uncomfortable. Yes rowing is intense but he was definitely an outlier in his public treatment of his athletes. Our teams travel a lot too. Never would it just be a coach and the kids. Never. We would see Whitman at the travel locations and do just assumed parents had gone too-- like every other team! The whole program is completely toxic.

The good news this that the girls rowing out of TBC did really well this fall. So glad to see them loving the sport....and not being humiliated in public or worse!

there is so much misinformation being tossed around on this thread, and what is most upsetting to me to read are the parents of rowers in other HS programs who seem so quick to throw the whitman rowing parent community under a bus and allege the community as a whole cares more about winning than their own children’s or any child’s safety. I am the parent of 2 whitman rowers (boy/girl, but the team travels together), and I have never observed a regatta involving overnight travel where there have not been parent chaperones. I can’t speak to what happened in 2018, but for the past few years that has been true (and there are very few overnight regattas). Many teams practice year round as you know if you are the parent of rowers at another area high school - bcc, wj, wilson, etc. - and many teams have culture issues, including there were some on area teams this past fall but I don’t view it as appropriate to start calling out other teams nor would I pretend to know the inner workings. To be clear, Shipley is clearly a predator and with hindsight should have been removed and arrested long ago, I doubt anyone feels otherwise on that point.

No one has thrown the entire Whitman parent rowing community under the bus. Board which is parents yes but the whole group? Nope.

Sure I know of other teams who have had problems but none to the extent which the Post has reported on where parents in the community (your community) were speaking out only to be shut down by parents in the same community. The program -- board, coach and whomever at Whitman had connection to it are toxic. The Whitman parents we know who have kids rowing out of TBC were just as shocked as the rest of us but frankly, not shocked that other kids noticed the coaching issue which were happening in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^one other point: the Whitman crew parent's defense of "we just couldn't imagine it" is like what Joe Paterno said in defending his continued support of Jerry Sandusky well after he knew about the allegations. That is, he just couldn't conceive as possible. And again: if you are a parent with oversight of children, *it is your job* to educate yourself and to force yourself to consider these kinds of scenarios. Mandated reporters don't get to say they just couldn't believe something could happen, so they ignored the signs. Ignorance is a poor defense.

I am the Whitman crew parent, and I think you are over-spinning what I said.
But I take your point.

Know that one is trying to get off the hook here.

Meantime, the board has offered free counseling services to current and former rowers (and maybe their families--I'm not positive about that).
The counseling is being paid for with donations.
Maybe you have suggestions for what else the team could do.

I would hope the board is dissolved. Whitman HS needs to take some ownership and responsibility for the crew team if it is going to be affiliated with the school. I’m a Whitman parent (not a crew parent) and this horrific incident has given the entire HS a black eye. Why were such callous and irresponsible shenanigans by the crew board/parents tolerated? Thousands of dollars just to join the team? Where is the common sense? Where is the equity? And folks may pretend otherwise but many (not all) parents at Whitman are obsessed with admissions to top colleges.

[Anonymous]

If you are afraid of retaliation by a coach or teacher, you need to recognize that you have a very bad situation on your hands.

Yup. PP, your entire comment was thoughtful. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^one other point: the Whitman crew parent's defense of "we just couldn't imagine it" is like what Joe Paterno said in defending his continued support of Jerry Sandusky well after he knew about the allegations. That is, he just couldn't conceive as possible. And again: if you are a parent with oversight of children, *it is your job* to educate yourself and to force yourself to consider these kinds of scenarios. Mandated reporters don't get to say they just couldn't believe something could happen, so they ignored the signs. Ignorance is a poor defense.

I am the Whitman crew parent, and I think you are over-spinning what I said.
But I take your point.

Know that one is trying to get off the hook here.

Meantime, the board has offered free counseling services to current and former rowers (and maybe their families--I'm not positive about that).
The counseling is being paid for with donations.
Maybe you have suggestions for what else the team could do.

The board that provided protection for an abuser... do I have a suggestion? Yes! I have a suggestion, fire every.single.person.on.the.board.

Hire and investigator to find out what they knew and when.

Report the HR person who "cleared" the coach and find out what type of relationship they had with the board/coach.

Pay for a full investigation and hold everybody legally responsible for this shit show. Civilly and criminally

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m still stuck on letting a grown man take all these girls to Airbnb’s for out of town trips with no other adults/parents present. No one working with children should be given this kind of access. There were signs that he was inappropriate and the signs were completely ignored because parents wanted the status and success and scholarship money more than safety for their children. Period.

My DC went on the ski trip mentioned in the article. There were 4 teacher chaperones (including Shipley) and we trusted them because they were teachers. No parents went on the trip (well actually one of the teachers was a parent of one of the students on the trip). In that instance they were separated by gender and Shipley was in a condo with a group of boys.

I am surprised there were no parents present though. Whitman parents tend to be very involved. I was involved with another Whitman sport and we did an overnight trip and had 4 parent chaperones/drivers for a team of 20. The coach wouldn't allow any of the kids in his car either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^one other point: the Whitman crew parent's defense of "we just couldn't imagine it" is like what Joe Paterno said in defending his continued support of Jerry Sandusky well after he knew about the allegations. That is, he just couldn't conceive as possible. And again: if you are a parent with oversight of children, *it is your job* to educate yourself and to force yourself to consider these kinds of scenarios. Mandated reporters don't get to say they just couldn't believe something could happen, so they ignored the signs. Ignorance is a poor defense.

I am the Whitman crew parent, and I think you are over-spinning what I said.
But I take your point.

Know that one is trying to get off the hook here.

Meantime, the board has offered free counseling services to current and former rowers (and maybe their families--I'm not positive about that).
The counseling is being paid for with donations.
Maybe you have suggestions for what else the team could do.

You said "normal people couldn't conceive this" or something to that effect, right? I mean, what? I'll grant you that some of us, myself included, have a higher level of professional and/or personal experience with abusive behavior than others. I've had to look things right in the eye that other people run from, and that does change a person's idea of what's possible. But that *no one* on the board could conceive of this? In the age of clergy sex abuse, Penn State, Me Too, on and on and on? If true, that's a sad commentary on the parents who volunteered for these roles.

As for what else the team could do, I agree with a PP that the board needs to be immediately dissolved. When you re-form it, include people who are explicitly NOT crew stakeholders, and who are there SOLELY to look out for the kids. It's clear previous board members were too involved, to put it mildly, to be objective about the best interests of the kids.

Also, hire women coaches. They're not perfect, but they're far less likely to be sexual predators than men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^one other point: the Whitman crew parent's defense of "we just couldn't imagine it" is like what Joe Paterno said in defending his continued support of Jerry Sandusky well after he knew about the allegations. That is, he just couldn't conceive as possible. And again: if you are a parent with oversight of children, *it is your job* to educate yourself and to force yourself to consider these kinds of scenarios. Mandated reporters don't get to say they just couldn't believe something could happen, so they ignored the signs. Ignorance is a poor defense.

Thank you. I really appreciate these excellent follow-ups. It does sound like it has the potential to be a great sport at its purest.

There have been some very thoughtful posts on here the last couple of days that I want to think about more. A couple posters have discussed how predators are everywhere, and they work in insidious ways. That’s very sadly true, and we’ve all heard about similar happening in every sport and many schools. But it seems that crew has built-in features that make kids more vulnerable to predation. Others have talked about how many parents at Whitman or similar schools in communities with affluent, highly-educated parents “drink the Kool-Aid” and believe their kids can only succeed in life if they end up at top colleges. This is very true, as anyone who has spent time on the college forums can tell you. I think there is a lot of potential danger to kids in communities like this anytime you have a guy like Shipley serving as a gatekeeper to opportunities that kids and parents are very focused on/gunning to obtain.

One thing that really struck me from the Post article was the fear of retaliation that kept many of the worried silent. Re the parent who kept trying to get the board and school to act—

“She’d pushed the board to take action against him, but ‘no one wanted to say anything. No one wanted to challenge Shipley. It was always the same thing — he’ll retaliate against our kids. I was always the one saying, ‘But we are paying the money, so why shouldn’t we be the ones that are in charge?’ ”

If you are afraid of retaliation by a coach or teacher, you need to recognize that you have a very bad situation on your hands.

You're welcome, PP! I'm enormously grateful for the opportunities I had through rowing. It's one of the best things I've done in my life, hands down. I feel fortunate that I didn't have coaches this abusive (one was pretty insulting, but he was also brilliant in his way, and I could tolerate it until I couldn't, at which point, I left--the benefit of being older).

I completely agree with you about the retaliation. It's always worth asking in that case: what's the worst that can happen? I realize it could mean the loss of scholarships or complete social ostracization, which can be profound for teenagers, but man.

And your point about crew being a breeding ground for a particular kind of abuse is well-taken. I've rowed in clubs that didn't have that elite sense, and then it really can become one of the best sports out there. But if you buy into your idea that it's your ticket to a golden life (by way of the Ivy League), that's something to take note of and avoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^one other point: the Whitman crew parent's defense of "we just couldn't imagine it" is like what Joe Paterno said in defending his continued support of Jerry Sandusky well after he knew about the allegations. That is, he just couldn't conceive as possible. And again: if you are a parent with oversight of children, *it is your job* to educate yourself and to force yourself to consider these kinds of scenarios. Mandated reporters don't get to say they just couldn't believe something could happen, so they ignored the signs. Ignorance is a poor defense.

I am the Whitman crew parent, and I think you are over-spinning what I said.
But I take your point.

Know that one is trying to get off the hook here.

Meantime, the board has offered free counseling services to current and former rowers (and maybe their families--I'm not positive about that).
The counseling is being paid for with donations.
Maybe you have suggestions for what else the team could do.

You said "normal people couldn't conceive this" or something to that effect, right? I mean, what? I'll grant you that some of us, myself included, have a higher level of professional and/or personal experience with abusive behavior than others. I've had to look things right in the eye that other people run from, and that does change a person's idea of what's possible. But that *no one* on the board could conceive of this? In the age of clergy sex abuse, Penn State, Me Too, on and on and on? If true, that's a sad commentary on the parents who volunteered for these roles.

As for what else the team could do, I agree with a PP that the board needs to be immediately dissolved. When you re-form it, include people who are explicitly NOT crew stakeholders, and who are there SOLELY to look out for the kids. It's clear previous board members were too involved, to put it mildly, to be objective about the best interests of the kids.

Also, hire women coaches. They're not perfect, but they're far less likely to be sexual predators than men.

How realistic is this? Who wants to spend time on a kids sports board when their kids aren't involved. I was a Whitman parent and can't imagine volunteering for the Crew board, or any other sport/activity, when my kids were doing other activities that I was involved in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^one other point: the Whitman crew parent's defense of "we just couldn't imagine it" is like what Joe Paterno said in defending his continued support of Jerry Sandusky well after he knew about the allegations. That is, he just couldn't conceive as possible. And again: if you are a parent with oversight of children, *it is your job* to educate yourself and to force yourself to consider these kinds of scenarios. Mandated reporters don't get to say they just couldn't believe something could happen, so they ignored the signs. Ignorance is a poor defense.

I am the Whitman crew parent, and I think you are over-spinning what I said.
But I take your point.

Know that one is trying to get off the hook here.

Meantime, the board has offered free counseling services to current and former rowers (and maybe their families--I'm not positive about that).
The counseling is being paid for with donations.
Maybe you have suggestions for what else the team could do.

I would hope the board is dissolved. Whitman HS needs to take some ownership and responsibility for the crew team if it is going to be affiliated with the school. I’m a Whitman parent (not a crew parent) and this horrific incident has given the entire HS a black eye. Why were such callous and irresponsible shenanigans by the crew board/parents tolerated? Thousands of dollars just to join the team? Where is the common sense? Where is the equity? And folks may pretend otherwise but many (not all) parents at Whitman are obsessed with admissions to top colleges.

Crew has always been a very expensive sport. There is zero equity in this stuff but most of the whitman parents can afford it. Whitman is responsible if its affiliated with the school. It should be private, not school affiliated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^one other point: the Whitman crew parent's defense of "we just couldn't imagine it" is like what Joe Paterno said in defending his continued support of Jerry Sandusky well after he knew about the allegations. That is, he just couldn't conceive as possible. And again: if you are a parent with oversight of children, *it is your job* to educate yourself and to force yourself to consider these kinds of scenarios. Mandated reporters don't get to say they just couldn't believe something could happen, so they ignored the signs. Ignorance is a poor defense.

I am the Whitman crew parent, and I think you are over-spinning what I said.
But I take your point.

Know that one is trying to get off the hook here.

Meantime, the board has offered free counseling services to current and former rowers (and maybe their families--I'm not positive about that).
The counseling is being paid for with donations.
Maybe you have suggestions for what else the team could do.

You said "normal people couldn't conceive this" or something to that effect, right? I mean, what? I'll grant you that some of us, myself included, have a higher level of professional and/or personal experience with abusive behavior than others. I've had to look things right in the eye that other people run from, and that does change a person's idea of what's possible. But that *no one* on the board could conceive of this? In the age of clergy sex abuse, Penn State, Me Too, on and on and on? If true, that's a sad commentary on the parents who volunteered for these roles.

As for what else the team could do, I agree with a PP that the board needs to be immediately dissolved. When you re-form it, include people who are explicitly NOT crew stakeholders, and who are there SOLELY to look out for the kids. It's clear previous board members were too involved, to put it mildly, to be objective about the best interests of the kids.

Also, hire women coaches. They're not perfect, but they're far less likely to be sexual predators than men.

How realistic is this? Who wants to spend time on a kids sports board when their kids aren't involved. I was a Whitman parent and can't imagine volunteering for the Crew board, or any other sport/activity, when my kids were doing other activities that I was involved in.

There are some people who love sitting on boards. They don't actually do anything but show up for the meetings and dictate what goes on. They aren't involved in the day to day and put little effort into it. Then, they pad their resume. We have several board members on our PTA like this. They do very very little but show up for the board meetings. They are all friends and push anyone who actually tries as they don't want to be showed up.

[Anonymous]

The board did not proactively contact the full alumni and offer counseling services. They were offered to the current team members and those who just graduated. The board had all of the email contact information for rowers for at least 3 years back and could have easily reached out to them and the parents, but chose not to do so.

Also when confronted with this information, the current board president indicated they could not comment on the allegations due to the ongoing investigation. However neither the MPD or US Attorney gave the team any instruction to avoid speaking to alumni and parents.

I get that many of the current board members were new and could claim ignorance of what happened in 2013 and 2018. The kids in 2018 knew the rumors about 2013 (way before they even started at Whitman). Kids talk, adults should listen.

Why did the athletes stay? As commented by others they loved the sport. There is no other sport where the outcome of the race is so dependent upon the people in the boat being in synch.

Many colleges don’t offer crew scholarships so while it may add to an applicant’s profile to have participated in HS, most students do not get any financial benefit on their college costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The board did not proactively contact the full alumni and offer counseling services. They were offered to the current team members and those who just graduated. The board had all of the email contact information for rowers for at least 3 years back and could have easily reached out to them and the parents, but chose not to do so.

Also when confronted with this information, the current board president indicated they could not comment on the allegations due to the ongoing investigation. However neither the MPD or US Attorney gave the team any instruction to avoid speaking to alumni and parents.

I get that many of the current board members were new and could claim ignorance of what happened in 2013 and 2018. The kids in 2018 knew the rumors about 2013 (way before they even started at Whitman). Kids talk, adults should listen.

Why did the athletes stay? As commented by others they loved the sport. There is no other sport where the outcome of the race is so dependent upon the people in the boat being in synch.

Many colleges don’t offer crew scholarships so while it may add to an applicant’s profile to have participated in HS, most students do not get any financial benefit on their college costs.

You may not get money in scholarships but it gives you entry into competitive colleges. Many Whitman parents can afford to pay full price. I get why the girls did not quit the team. HS girls are at a complicated age and they are driven to do things with their group even if it causes stress and unhappiness. Not easy to walk away especially if you are good and enjoy the sport. No blame on them. It is the adults who should have known better. The board was clearly toxic and the other crew parents were probably intimidated by the board and didn’t want to be on the outs with the coach. It is depressing. Not an easy situation to navigate by any means but sad that hardly any adult was willing to stick their neck out and call Shipley out. Sad that the former Whitman principal also turned a blind eye. He must have worked with Shipley for years

[Anonymous]

Wowza! Front page of the Washington Post today. MCPS Central must be freaking out. My sympathies to the crew team + parents. Must feel like you have been hit with a sledgehammer. Did the Whitman principal send a letter out today to families?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^one other point: the Whitman crew parent's defense of "we just couldn't imagine it" is like what Joe Paterno said in defending his continued support of Jerry Sandusky well after he knew about the allegations. That is, he just couldn't conceive as possible. And again: if you are a parent with oversight of children, *it is your job* to educate yourself and to force yourself to consider these kinds of scenarios. Mandated reporters don't get to say they just couldn't believe something could happen, so they ignored the signs. Ignorance is a poor defense.

I am the Whitman crew parent, and I think you are over-spinning what I said.
But I take your point.

Know that one is trying to get off the hook here.

Meantime, the board has offered free counseling services to current and former rowers (and maybe their families--I'm not positive about that).
The counseling is being paid for with donations.
Maybe you have suggestions for what else the team could do.

The board that provided protection for an abuser... do I have a suggestion? Yes! I have a suggestion, fire every.single.person.on.the.board.

Hire and investigator to find out what they knew and when.

Report the HR person who "cleared" the coach and find out what type of relationship they had with the board/coach.

Pay for a full investigation and hold everybody legally responsible for this shit show. Civilly and criminally

I wouldn't waste the money to hire an investigator was lets be real, no one is going to hold anyone accountable but the board and everyone involved or who had knowledge should be fired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wowza! Front page of the Washington Post today. MCPS Central must be freaking out. My sympathies to the crew team + parents. Must feel like you have been hit with a sledgehammer. Did the Whitman principal send a letter out today to families?

They knew what was going on and those parents ignored it. I feel bad for those girls who were abused.