Women whose partner's make enough for them to stay home, why do you prefer working?

[Anonymous]

A little of tangent, but I resent the insinuation early up thread that PPs are cleaning bathrooms every day because of societal standards and not because they want to. Some people really, really like to clean. Just like some people like to play video games to relax.

I knew a finance guy once who was a crazy neat freak. He’d come home and clean after work. He’d vacuum, dust, scrub. His suits were organized by color and his socks were color coordinated, too. He dated a girlfriend of mine and whenever I’d go over, he’d have a rag in his hand. The only person who seemed to be bothered by his cleaning was his girlfriend. His mostly male colleagues couldn’t care less.

Some people would outsource exercise and sex if they could, but others like it. It’s the same with cleaning. Some people really like to do it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Everyone contributes to society, what's the difference between raising your children, caring for your parents and managing your household vs doing it for money as an employee?

For me it’s because once kids were in school there was not much “raising kids/caring for parents/managing household “ to do.

I’m always surprised when people say this. I don’t think that my day to day changed that much when my youngest went to school. I just didn’t have my little buddy with me anymore.

I guess I don’t go to the zoo as much, but it’s not like I was spending hours a day playing CandyLand with a four year old before he went to school.

You don't think your day to day changed when you arent responsible for a human for most of the day? That's a huge difference to me!

I’m still ultimately responsible for all of my kids every day.
But yeah, it isn’t that different.
Now I go go book club on Thursday mornings on my own. I don’t have to bring stickers.
When I fold laundry, I listen to an audiobook instead of his little stories, and I have to match the socks myself.
I usually make dinner on my own without my little helper. (There’s too much going on after school to cook then.).

I mostly kind of miss him.

Sounds like you don’t do much of anything.

She cooks and cleans and takes care of her children after school. That’s plenty.

DP here. I have 3 kids in 3 different schools. I basically have 5 hours from last kid drop off to first kid ending school. I work out, shower, run errands, cook, clean up, etc. There isn’t that much time left. I do meet up with a friend for lunch or go to the spa but it is like once per week.

Your time management skills are severely lacking. I guess it's good you don't have to work because it doesn't sound like you'd make it through a day.

So much hate! How do you know that her time management skills are lacking?

You’d put all three kids in the same school, right? Because you’re so brilliant, yeah? That actually sounds lazy to me. Maybe she’s chosen to make her life a little more difficult to put each kid at the best place for that child. She’s doing it because she can and she wants the best fit for all three.

For a third party like me, it’s obvious that you are seething with jealousy that you do not have the resources to send your kids to three different schools.

No it's pretty obvious she has 5 hours a day, but can't get anything done. Poor time management is most likely it. I say that as SAHM . I see many other SAHM claim it's just so hard and they don't have time for anything it almost always comes down to poor time management or undiagnosed depression and ADHD both of which have a time management component

What exactly am I not getting done? I have three kids and take care of them. I keep our house going. I am not saying I am doing anything more. I am planning a birthday party for one of my kids, spring break and summer.

I have plenty of time. What I don’t have time for is a full time job in my 5 hours the kids are at school. I like working out daily after kids are at school. I am not the type to wake up at 5am to work out before everyone wakes up. By the time I shower after exercise, clean up breakfast, it is already lunchtime. Then I have 2 hours before first kid gets out of school.

I am a fellow SAHM. I think it just boils down to phrasing. People get very prickly on here when you say you “can’t” work or “don’t have time.” Just say you could but choose not to and it works best for your family this way. Saying you don’t have time implies you think they are somehow short-changing someone and that is where they get defensive.

I agree with this. I think many families would function better with a stay at home parent. It’s fine if neither parent wants to stay at home, but there are a lot of families who wish they could afford a sahp and make the difficult sacrifice to work and prioritize their family’s financial well being. When a sahp claims they wouldn’t have time to work, that’s ridiculous and is a jab at the people who do everything you do to run a home and life, but also work full time. We all have the same number of hours in the day. You either don’t have to work or choose not to.

I actual think most families don’t function better with a SAHM.

I think that really bothers some SAHM’s to know some women work and run their house better/same and see their kids just as much,

I’m one of the SAHMs on this thread. It doesn’t bother me at all. Many of my friends work. Most of my kids’ parents work. I don’t necessarily think their house is run better but everyone does what they think is best for their family.

And there you have it. You have to believe they don’t run the same/better for done reason based in your own insecurities.

Yup. And continually post on a thread about working mothers.

So now you are telling other women to shut up? We aren't allowed opinions?

Nobody said that. If you ask a football player how to tackle, and a baseball player tries to answer you might say... let the football player answer the questions why do you need to but in.

The questions was ... working moms, why do you work.

If you want a thread on SAHM's why do you SAH, create a thead.

I'm not interested in creating a thread. I do think everyone should be able to say there opinion regardless if I work or not.

[Anonymous]

Seen far too many 'gray divorces' in my time and the fallout. I've seen women have to basically go out and find a job late 40s/50s/60 which is a helluva lot harder to do and start off at a much lower salary at that age.

Never wanted to be reliant on someone else's retirement fund or salary. Having a means to support yourself gives you options.

I was fortunate to get paid well with great benefits and do it fully from home after my kids were born. I waited 7 years to have them when my career was in a great place (had 10 years on the job at that point; 35-- had kids 35 and 37).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A little of tangent, but I resent the insinuation early up thread that PPs are cleaning bathrooms every day because of societal standards and not because they want to. Some people really, really like to clean. Just like some people like to play video games to relax.

I knew a finance guy once who was a crazy neat freak. He’d come home and clean after work. He’d vacuum, dust, scrub. His suits were organized by color and his socks were color coordinated, too. He dated a girlfriend of mine and whenever I’d go over, he’d have a rag in his hand. The only person who seemed to be bothered by his cleaning was his girlfriend. His mostly male colleagues couldn’t care less.

Some people would outsource exercise and sex if they could, but others like it. It’s the same with cleaning. Some people really like to do it.

I apologize if I offended the .00000001% of the population that really, really likes to clean.

The vast majority would outsource exercise as long as our bodies somehow still got the results of the outsourced exercise...which we do get with outsourcing cleaning.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Everyone contributes to society, what's the difference between raising your children, caring for your parents and managing your household vs doing it for money as an employee?

For me it’s because once kids were in school there was not much “raising kids/caring for parents/managing household “ to do.

I’m always surprised when people say this. I don’t think that my day to day changed that much when my youngest went to school. I just didn’t have my little buddy with me anymore.

I guess I don’t go to the zoo as much, but it’s not like I was spending hours a day playing CandyLand with a four year old before he went to school.

You don't think your day to day changed when you arent responsible for a human for most of the day? That's a huge difference to me!

I’m still ultimately responsible for all of my kids every day.
But yeah, it isn’t that different.
Now I go go book club on Thursday mornings on my own. I don’t have to bring stickers.
When I fold laundry, I listen to an audiobook instead of his little stories, and I have to match the socks myself.
I usually make dinner on my own without my little helper. (There’s too much going on after school to cook then.).

I mostly kind of miss him.

Sounds like you don’t do much of anything.

She cooks and cleans and takes care of her children after school. That’s plenty.

DP here. I have 3 kids in 3 different schools. I basically have 5 hours from last kid drop off to first kid ending school. I work out, shower, run errands, cook, clean up, etc. There isn’t that much time left. I do meet up with a friend for lunch or go to the spa but it is like once per week.

Your time management skills are severely lacking. I guess it's good you don't have to work because it doesn't sound like you'd make it through a day.

So much hate! How do you know that her time management skills are lacking?

You’d put all three kids in the same school, right? Because you’re so brilliant, yeah? That actually sounds lazy to me. Maybe she’s chosen to make her life a little more difficult to put each kid at the best place for that child. She’s doing it because she can and she wants the best fit for all three.

For a third party like me, it’s obvious that you are seething with jealousy that you do not have the resources to send your kids to three different schools.

No it's pretty obvious she has 5 hours a day, but can't get anything done. Poor time management is most likely it. I say that as SAHM . I see many other SAHM claim it's just so hard and they don't have time for anything it almost always comes down to poor time management or undiagnosed depression and ADHD both of which have a time management component

What exactly am I not getting done? I have three kids and take care of them. I keep our house going. I am not saying I am doing anything more. I am planning a birthday party for one of my kids, spring break and summer.

I have plenty of time. What I don’t have time for is a full time job in my 5 hours the kids are at school. I like working out daily after kids are at school. I am not the type to wake up at 5am to work out before everyone wakes up. By the time I shower after exercise, clean up breakfast, it is already lunchtime. Then I have 2 hours before first kid gets out of school.

I am a fellow SAHM. I think it just boils down to phrasing. People get very prickly on here when you say you “can’t” work or “don’t have time.” Just say you could but choose not to and it works best for your family this way. Saying you don’t have time implies you think they are somehow short-changing someone and that is where they get defensive.

I agree with this. I think many families would function better with a stay at home parent. It’s fine if neither parent wants to stay at home, but there are a lot of families who wish they could afford a sahp and make the difficult sacrifice to work and prioritize their family’s financial well being. When a sahp claims they wouldn’t have time to work, that’s ridiculous and is a jab at the people who do everything you do to run a home and life, but also work full time. We all have the same number of hours in the day. You either don’t have to work or choose not to.

I actual think most families don’t function better with a SAHM.

I think that really bothers some SAHM’s to know some women work and run their house better/same and see their kids just as much,

I’m one of the SAHMs on this thread. It doesn’t bother me at all. Many of my friends work. Most of my kids’ parents work. I don’t necessarily think their house is run better but everyone does what they think is best for their family.

And there you have it. You have to believe they don’t run the same/better for done reason based in your own insecurities.

Yup. And continually post on a thread about working mothers.

So now you are telling other women to shut up? We aren't allowed opinions?

Nobody said that. If you ask a football player how to tackle, and a baseball player tries to answer you might say... let the football player answer the questions why do you need to but in.

The questions was ... working moms, why do you work.

If you want a thread on SAHM's why do you SAH, create a thead.

I'm not interested in creating a thread. I do think everyone should be able to say there opinion regardless if I work or not.

Ok, so what is your opinion? Why do you work even though your husband makes plenty?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seen far too many 'gray divorces' in my time and the fallout. I've seen women have to basically go out and find a job late 40s/50s/60 which is a helluva lot harder to do and start off at a much lower salary at that age.

Never wanted to be reliant on someone else's retirement fund or salary. Having a means to support yourself gives you options.

I was fortunate to get paid well with great benefits and do it fully from home after my kids were born. I waited 7 years to have them when my career was in a great place (had 10 years on the job at that point; 35-- had kids 35 and 37).

^^my husband was making around $450k at that time. So it wasn't essential, but I wasn't leaving another $200k w/great family health benefits/retirement on the table.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Everyone contributes to society, what's the difference between raising your children, caring for your parents and managing your household vs doing it for money as an employee?

For me it’s because once kids were in school there was not much “raising kids/caring for parents/managing household “ to do.

I’m always surprised when people say this. I don’t think that my day to day changed that much when my youngest went to school. I just didn’t have my little buddy with me anymore.

I guess I don’t go to the zoo as much, but it’s not like I was spending hours a day playing CandyLand with a four year old before he went to school.

You don't think your day to day changed when you arent responsible for a human for most of the day? That's a huge difference to me!

I’m still ultimately responsible for all of my kids every day.
But yeah, it isn’t that different.
Now I go go book club on Thursday mornings on my own. I don’t have to bring stickers.
When I fold laundry, I listen to an audiobook instead of his little stories, and I have to match the socks myself.
I usually make dinner on my own without my little helper. (There’s too much going on after school to cook then.).

I mostly kind of miss him.

Sounds like you don’t do much of anything.

She cooks and cleans and takes care of her children after school. That’s plenty.

DP here. I have 3 kids in 3 different schools. I basically have 5 hours from last kid drop off to first kid ending school. I work out, shower, run errands, cook, clean up, etc. There isn’t that much time left. I do meet up with a friend for lunch or go to the spa but it is like once per week.

Your time management skills are severely lacking. I guess it's good you don't have to work because it doesn't sound like you'd make it through a day.

So much hate! How do you know that her time management skills are lacking?

You’d put all three kids in the same school, right? Because you’re so brilliant, yeah? That actually sounds lazy to me. Maybe she’s chosen to make her life a little more difficult to put each kid at the best place for that child. She’s doing it because she can and she wants the best fit for all three.

For a third party like me, it’s obvious that you are seething with jealousy that you do not have the resources to send your kids to three different schools.

No it's pretty obvious she has 5 hours a day, but can't get anything done. Poor time management is most likely it. I say that as SAHM . I see many other SAHM claim it's just so hard and they don't have time for anything it almost always comes down to poor time management or undiagnosed depression and ADHD both of which have a time management component

What exactly am I not getting done? I have three kids and take care of them. I keep our house going. I am not saying I am doing anything more. I am planning a birthday party for one of my kids, spring break and summer.

I have plenty of time. What I don’t have time for is a full time job in my 5 hours the kids are at school. I like working out daily after kids are at school. I am not the type to wake up at 5am to work out before everyone wakes up. By the time I shower after exercise, clean up breakfast, it is already lunchtime. Then I have 2 hours before first kid gets out of school.

I am a fellow SAHM. I think it just boils down to phrasing. People get very prickly on here when you say you “can’t” work or “don’t have time.” Just say you could but choose not to and it works best for your family this way. Saying you don’t have time implies you think they are somehow short-changing someone and that is where they get defensive.

I agree with this. I think many families would function better with a stay at home parent. It’s fine if neither parent wants to stay at home, but there are a lot of families who wish they could afford a sahp and make the difficult sacrifice to work and prioritize their family’s financial well being. When a sahp claims they wouldn’t have time to work, that’s ridiculous and is a jab at the people who do everything you do to run a home and life, but also work full time. We all have the same number of hours in the day. You either don’t have to work or choose not to.

I actual think most families don’t function better with a SAHM.

I think that really bothers some SAHM’s to know some women work and run their house better/same and see their kids just as much,

I’m one of the SAHMs on this thread. It doesn’t bother me at all. Many of my friends work. Most of my kids’ parents work. I don’t necessarily think their house is run better but everyone does what they think is best for their family.

And there you have it. You have to believe they don’t run the same/better for done reason based in your own insecurities.

Yup. And continually post on a thread about working mothers.

So now you are telling other women to shut up? We aren't allowed opinions?

Nobody said that. If you ask a football player how to tackle, and a baseball player tries to answer you might say... let the football player answer the questions why do you need to but in.

The questions was ... working moms, why do you work.

If you want a thread on SAHM's why do you SAH, create a thead.

I'm not interested in creating a thread. I do think everyone should be able to say there opinion regardless if I work or not.

Like nails on a chalk board

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little of tangent, but I resent the insinuation early up thread that PPs are cleaning bathrooms every day because of societal standards and not because they want to. Some people really, really like to clean. Just like some people like to play video games to relax.

I knew a finance guy once who was a crazy neat freak. He’d come home and clean after work. He’d vacuum, dust, scrub. His suits were organized by color and his socks were color coordinated, too. He dated a girlfriend of mine and whenever I’d go over, he’d have a rag in his hand. The only person who seemed to be bothered by his cleaning was his girlfriend. His mostly male colleagues couldn’t care less.

Some people would outsource exercise and sex if they could, but others like it. It’s the same with cleaning. Some people really like to do it.

I apologize if I offended the .00000001% of the population that really, really likes to clean.

The vast majority would outsource exercise as long as our bodies somehow still got the results of the outsourced exercise...which we do get with outsourcing cleaning.

Speak for yourself. I LOVE working out! I would never want to outsource it. I love losing myself in a tough workout and thinking about nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A little of tangent, but I resent the insinuation early up thread that PPs are cleaning bathrooms every day because of societal standards and not because they want to. Some people really, really like to clean. Just like some people like to play video games to relax.

I knew a finance guy once who was a crazy neat freak. He’d come home and clean after work. He’d vacuum, dust, scrub. His suits were organized by color and his socks were color coordinated, too. He dated a girlfriend of mine and whenever I’d go over, he’d have a rag in his hand. The only person who seemed to be bothered by his cleaning was his girlfriend. His mostly male colleagues couldn’t care less.

Some people would outsource exercise and sex if they could, but others like it. It’s the same with cleaning. Some people really like to do it.

I apologize if I offended the .00000001% of the population that really, really likes to clean.

The vast majority would outsource exercise as long as our bodies somehow still got the results of the outsourced exercise...which we do get with outsourcing cleaning.

Speak for yourself. I LOVE working out! I would never want to outsource it. I love losing myself in a tough workout and thinking about nothing.

I did say the vast majority..which still leaves a bunch of people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A little of tangent, but I resent the insinuation early up thread that PPs are cleaning bathrooms every day because of societal standards and not because they want to. Some people really, really like to clean. Just like some people like to play video games to relax.

I knew a finance guy once who was a crazy neat freak. He’d come home and clean after work. He’d vacuum, dust, scrub. His suits were organized by color and his socks were color coordinated, too. He dated a girlfriend of mine and whenever I’d go over, he’d have a rag in his hand. The only person who seemed to be bothered by his cleaning was his girlfriend. His mostly male colleagues couldn’t care less.

Some people would outsource exercise and sex if they could, but others like it. It’s the same with cleaning. Some people really like to do it.

The difference is that guy worked (you called him "finance guy"). If he quit his job so that he would have enough time to clean them yes people would judge a man too.

[Anonymous]

Well, I earn as much as my husband does. We could live on either of our salaries. But we live a lot better on both of them! Planning for an earlier retirement than we’d be able to manage on one salary, less stress over the possibility of job loss in really volatile industries, just general peace of mind.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Everyone contributes to society, what's the difference between raising your children, caring for your parents and managing your household vs doing it for money as an employee?

For me it’s because once kids were in school there was not much “raising kids/caring for parents/managing household “ to do.

I’m always surprised when people say this. I don’t think that my day to day changed that much when my youngest went to school. I just didn’t have my little buddy with me anymore.

I guess I don’t go to the zoo as much, but it’s not like I was spending hours a day playing CandyLand with a four year old before he went to school.

You don't think your day to day changed when you arent responsible for a human for most of the day? That's a huge difference to me!

I’m still ultimately responsible for all of my kids every day.
But yeah, it isn’t that different.
Now I go go book club on Thursday mornings on my own. I don’t have to bring stickers.
When I fold laundry, I listen to an audiobook instead of his little stories, and I have to match the socks myself.
I usually make dinner on my own without my little helper. (There’s too much going on after school to cook then.).

I mostly kind of miss him.

Sounds like you don’t do much of anything.

She cooks and cleans and takes care of her children after school. That’s plenty.

DP here. I have 3 kids in 3 different schools. I basically have 5 hours from last kid drop off to first kid ending school. I work out, shower, run errands, cook, clean up, etc. There isn’t that much time left. I do meet up with a friend for lunch or go to the spa but it is like once per week.

Your time management skills are severely lacking. I guess it's good you don't have to work because it doesn't sound like you'd make it through a day.

So much hate! How do you know that her time management skills are lacking?

You’d put all three kids in the same school, right? Because you’re so brilliant, yeah? That actually sounds lazy to me. Maybe she’s chosen to make her life a little more difficult to put each kid at the best place for that child. She’s doing it because she can and she wants the best fit for all three.

For a third party like me, it’s obvious that you are seething with jealousy that you do not have the resources to send your kids to three different schools.

No it's pretty obvious she has 5 hours a day, but can't get anything done. Poor time management is most likely it. I say that as SAHM . I see many other SAHM claim it's just so hard and they don't have time for anything it almost always comes down to poor time management or undiagnosed depression and ADHD both of which have a time management component

What exactly am I not getting done? I have three kids and take care of them. I keep our house going. I am not saying I am doing anything more. I am planning a birthday party for one of my kids, spring break and summer.

I have plenty of time. What I don’t have time for is a full time job in my 5 hours the kids are at school. I like working out daily after kids are at school. I am not the type to wake up at 5am to work out before everyone wakes up. By the time I shower after exercise, clean up breakfast, it is already lunchtime. Then I have 2 hours before first kid gets out of school.

I am a fellow SAHM. I think it just boils down to phrasing. People get very prickly on here when you say you “can’t” work or “don’t have time.” Just say you could but choose not to and it works best for your family this way. Saying you don’t have time implies you think they are somehow short-changing someone and that is where they get defensive.

I agree with this. I think many families would function better with a stay at home parent. It’s fine if neither parent wants to stay at home, but there are a lot of families who wish they could afford a sahp and make the difficult sacrifice to work and prioritize their family’s financial well being. When a sahp claims they wouldn’t have time to work, that’s ridiculous and is a jab at the people who do everything you do to run a home and life, but also work full time. We all have the same number of hours in the day. You either don’t have to work or choose not to.

I actual think most families don’t function better with a SAHM.

I think that really bothers some SAHM’s to know some women work and run their house better/same and see their kids just as much,

I think it depends on the definition of function. (Perhaps much like the definition of success when people talk about having successful children - some people think that means children who get into Ivy League schools and have huge salaries, others think it means happy children).

Wouldn't everything run easier if you had more people to provide support? Sure my dogs would be happier with three dog walkers instead of one because they'd get to go out more. Diners would be happier if every table had its own wait staff and even kitchen staff so they never had to be wanting for anything. A household with three parents, for example, could have more income or less income but more help.

So I think a household would function better if more people worked at it, whether those are paid (i.e. cleaners, gardeners, nannies, chefs, etc.) or not (parents). However, I think a functioning family isn't just how well the house is run or whether you always have milk in the fridge. I think it's more about the dynamics. And to me, a dynamic where kids see one parent far more than the other isn't functioning in a way I'd like.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Everyone contributes to society, what's the difference between raising your children, caring for your parents and managing your household vs doing it for money as an employee?

For me it’s because once kids were in school there was not much “raising kids/caring for parents/managing household “ to do.

I’m always surprised when people say this. I don’t think that my day to day changed that much when my youngest went to school. I just didn’t have my little buddy with me anymore.

I guess I don’t go to the zoo as much, but it’s not like I was spending hours a day playing CandyLand with a four year old before he went to school.

You don't think your day to day changed when you arent responsible for a human for most of the day? That's a huge difference to me!

I’m still ultimately responsible for all of my kids every day.
But yeah, it isn’t that different.
Now I go go book club on Thursday mornings on my own. I don’t have to bring stickers.
When I fold laundry, I listen to an audiobook instead of his little stories, and I have to match the socks myself.
I usually make dinner on my own without my little helper. (There’s too much going on after school to cook then.).

I mostly kind of miss him.

Sounds like you don’t do much of anything.

She cooks and cleans and takes care of her children after school. That’s plenty.

DP here. I have 3 kids in 3 different schools. I basically have 5 hours from last kid drop off to first kid ending school. I work out, shower, run errands, cook, clean up, etc. There isn’t that much time left. I do meet up with a friend for lunch or go to the spa but it is like once per week.

Your time management skills are severely lacking. I guess it's good you don't have to work because it doesn't sound like you'd make it through a day.

So much hate! How do you know that her time management skills are lacking?

You’d put all three kids in the same school, right? Because you’re so brilliant, yeah? That actually sounds lazy to me. Maybe she’s chosen to make her life a little more difficult to put each kid at the best place for that child. She’s doing it because she can and she wants the best fit for all three.

For a third party like me, it’s obvious that you are seething with jealousy that you do not have the resources to send your kids to three different schools.

No it's pretty obvious she has 5 hours a day, but can't get anything done. Poor time management is most likely it. I say that as SAHM . I see many other SAHM claim it's just so hard and they don't have time for anything it almost always comes down to poor time management or undiagnosed depression and ADHD both of which have a time management component

What exactly am I not getting done? I have three kids and take care of them. I keep our house going. I am not saying I am doing anything more. I am planning a birthday party for one of my kids, spring break and summer.

I have plenty of time. What I don’t have time for is a full time job in my 5 hours the kids are at school. I like working out daily after kids are at school. I am not the type to wake up at 5am to work out before everyone wakes up. By the time I shower after exercise, clean up breakfast, it is already lunchtime. Then I have 2 hours before first kid gets out of school.

I am a fellow SAHM. I think it just boils down to phrasing. People get very prickly on here when you say you “can’t” work or “don’t have time.” Just say you could but choose not to and it works best for your family this way. Saying you don’t have time implies you think they are somehow short-changing someone and that is where they get defensive.

I agree with this. I think many families would function better with a stay at home parent. It’s fine if neither parent wants to stay at home, but there are a lot of families who wish they could afford a sahp and make the difficult sacrifice to work and prioritize their family’s financial well being. When a sahp claims they wouldn’t have time to work, that’s ridiculous and is a jab at the people who do everything you do to run a home and life, but also work full time. We all have the same number of hours in the day. You either don’t have to work or choose not to.

I actual think most families don’t function better with a SAHM.

I think that really bothers some SAHM’s to know some women work and run their house better/same and see their kids just as much,

I’m one of the SAHMs on this thread. It doesn’t bother me at all. Many of my friends work. Most of my kids’ parents work. I don’t necessarily think their house is run better but everyone does what they think is best for their family.

And there you have it. You have to believe they don’t run the same/better for done reason based in your own insecurities.

Yup. And continually post on a thread about working mothers.

So now you are telling other women to shut up? We aren't allowed opinions?

Nobody said that. If you ask a football player how to tackle, and a baseball player tries to answer you might say... let the football player answer the questions why do you need to but in.

The questions was ... working moms, why do you work.

If you want a thread on SAHM's why do you SAH, create a thead.

oops meant their opinion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Everyone contributes to society, what's the difference between raising your children, caring for your parents and managing your household vs doing it for money as an employee?

For me it’s because once kids were in school there was not much “raising kids/caring for parents/managing household “ to do.

I’m always surprised when people say this. I don’t think that my day to day changed that much when my youngest went to school. I just didn’t have my little buddy with me anymore.

I guess I don’t go to the zoo as much, but it’s not like I was spending hours a day playing CandyLand with a four year old before he went to school.

You don't think your day to day changed when you arent responsible for a human for most of the day? That's a huge difference to me!

I’m still ultimately responsible for all of my kids every day.
But yeah, it isn’t that different.
Now I go go book club on Thursday mornings on my own. I don’t have to bring stickers.
When I fold laundry, I listen to an audiobook instead of his little stories, and I have to match the socks myself.
I usually make dinner on my own without my little helper. (There’s too much going on after school to cook then.).

I mostly kind of miss him.

Sounds like you don’t do much of anything.

She cooks and cleans and takes care of her children after school. That’s plenty.

DP here. I have 3 kids in 3 different schools. I basically have 5 hours from last kid drop off to first kid ending school. I work out, shower, run errands, cook, clean up, etc. There isn’t that much time left. I do meet up with a friend for lunch or go to the spa but it is like once per week.

Your time management skills are severely lacking. I guess it's good you don't have to work because it doesn't sound like you'd make it through a day.

So much hate! How do you know that her time management skills are lacking?

You’d put all three kids in the same school, right? Because you’re so brilliant, yeah? That actually sounds lazy to me. Maybe she’s chosen to make her life a little more difficult to put each kid at the best place for that child. She’s doing it because she can and she wants the best fit for all three.

For a third party like me, it’s obvious that you are seething with jealousy that you do not have the resources to send your kids to three different schools.

No it's pretty obvious she has 5 hours a day, but can't get anything done. Poor time management is most likely it. I say that as SAHM . I see many other SAHM claim it's just so hard and they don't have time for anything it almost always comes down to poor time management or undiagnosed depression and ADHD both of which have a time management component

What exactly am I not getting done? I have three kids and take care of them. I keep our house going. I am not saying I am doing anything more. I am planning a birthday party for one of my kids, spring break and summer.

I have plenty of time. What I don’t have time for is a full time job in my 5 hours the kids are at school. I like working out daily after kids are at school. I am not the type to wake up at 5am to work out before everyone wakes up. By the time I shower after exercise, clean up breakfast, it is already lunchtime. Then I have 2 hours before first kid gets out of school.

I am a fellow SAHM. I think it just boils down to phrasing. People get very prickly on here when you say you “can’t” work or “don’t have time.” Just say you could but choose not to and it works best for your family this way. Saying you don’t have time implies you think they are somehow short-changing someone and that is where they get defensive.

I agree with this. I think many families would function better with a stay at home parent. It’s fine if neither parent wants to stay at home, but there are a lot of families who wish they could afford a sahp and make the difficult sacrifice to work and prioritize their family’s financial well being. When a sahp claims they wouldn’t have time to work, that’s ridiculous and is a jab at the people who do everything you do to run a home and life, but also work full time. We all have the same number of hours in the day. You either don’t have to work or choose not to.

I actual think most families don’t function better with a SAHM.

I think that really bothers some SAHM’s to know some women work and run their house better/same and see their kids just as much,

I’m one of the SAHMs on this thread. It doesn’t bother me at all. Many of my friends work. Most of my kids’ parents work. I don’t necessarily think their house is run better but everyone does what they think is best for their family.

And there you have it. You have to believe they don’t run the same/better for done reason based in your own insecurities.

You are misunderstanding my post. We know many different families. I would say everyone we know is relatively successful. Everyone has money. Everyone has help. A good nanny will be better than a bad mother I guess. I truly sincerely believe a mom being home with her baby is better for the child. This is not insecurity. This is just my personal feelings.

And I think staying home is a cop out for people who can't hack it in the real world. That's not my insecurity. This is just my personal feelings.

See how that works?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone contributes to society, what's the difference between raising your children, caring for your parents and managing your household vs doing it for money as an employee?

For me it’s because once kids were in school there was not much “raising kids/caring for parents/managing household “ to do.

I’m always surprised when people say this. I don’t think that my day to day changed that much when my youngest went to school. I just didn’t have my little buddy with me anymore.

I guess I don’t go to the zoo as much, but it’s not like I was spending hours a day playing CandyLand with a four year old before he went to school.

You don't think your day to day changed when you arent responsible for a human for most of the day? That's a huge difference to me!

I’m still ultimately responsible for all of my kids every day.
But yeah, it isn’t that different.
Now I go go book club on Thursday mornings on my own. I don’t have to bring stickers.
When I fold laundry, I listen to an audiobook instead of his little stories, and I have to match the socks myself.
I usually make dinner on my own without my little helper. (There’s too much going on after school to cook then.).

I mostly kind of miss him.

Sounds like you don’t do much of anything.

She cooks and cleans and takes care of her children after school. That’s plenty.

DP here. I have 3 kids in 3 different schools. I basically have 5 hours from last kid drop off to first kid ending school. I work out, shower, run errands, cook, clean up, etc. There isn’t that much time left. I do meet up with a friend for lunch or go to the spa but it is like once per week.

Your time management skills are severely lacking. I guess it's good you don't have to work because it doesn't sound like you'd make it through a day.

So much hate! How do you know that her time management skills are lacking?

You’d put all three kids in the same school, right? Because you’re so brilliant, yeah? That actually sounds lazy to me. Maybe she’s chosen to make her life a little more difficult to put each kid at the best place for that child. She’s doing it because she can and she wants the best fit for all three.

For a third party like me, it’s obvious that you are seething with jealousy that you do not have the resources to send your kids to three different schools.

No it's pretty obvious she has 5 hours a day, but can't get anything done. Poor time management is most likely it. I say that as SAHM . I see many other SAHM claim it's just so hard and they don't have time for anything it almost always comes down to poor time management or undiagnosed depression and ADHD both of which have a time management component

What exactly am I not getting done? I have three kids and take care of them. I keep our house going. I am not saying I am doing anything more. I am planning a birthday party for one of my kids, spring break and summer.

I have plenty of time. What I don’t have time for is a full time job in my 5 hours the kids are at school. I like working out daily after kids are at school. I am not the type to wake up at 5am to work out before everyone wakes up. By the time I shower after exercise, clean up breakfast, it is already lunchtime. Then I have 2 hours before first kid gets out of school.

I am a fellow SAHM. I think it just boils down to phrasing. People get very prickly on here when you say you “can’t” work or “don’t have time.” Just say you could but choose not to and it works best for your family this way. Saying you don’t have time implies you think they are somehow short-changing someone and that is where they get defensive.

I agree with this. I think many families would function better with a stay at home parent. It’s fine if neither parent wants to stay at home, but there are a lot of families who wish they could afford a sahp and make the difficult sacrifice to work and prioritize their family’s financial well being. When a sahp claims they wouldn’t have time to work, that’s ridiculous and is a jab at the people who do everything you do to run a home and life, but also work full time. We all have the same number of hours in the day. You either don’t have to work or choose not to.

I actual think most families don’t function better with a SAHM.

I think that really bothers some SAHM’s to know some women work and run their house better/same and see their kids just as much,

I’m one of the SAHMs on this thread. It doesn’t bother me at all. Many of my friends work. Most of my kids’ parents work. I don’t necessarily think their house is run better but everyone does what they think is best for their family.

And there you have it. You have to believe they don’t run the same/better for done reason based in your own insecurities.

Yup. And continually post on a thread about working mothers.

So now you are telling other women to shut up? We aren't allowed opinions?

Nobody said that. If you ask a football player how to tackle, and a baseball player tries to answer you might say... let the football player answer the questions why do you need to but in.

The questions was ... working moms, why do you work.

If you want a thread on SAHM's why do you SAH, create a thead.

I'm not interested in creating a thread. I do think everyone should be able to say there opinion regardless if I work or not.

Like nails on a chalk board

I made a mistake which I corrected later. I'm assuming you are perfect?