S/O - If your family refused to meet your partner...

[Anonymous]

If your family refused to meet your partner because they were of the wrong race, religion, or gender, would you cut off your relationship with your family or continue to reach out for acceptance?

[Anonymous]

Nope....would cut it off. I wouldn't be so desperate that I need their acceptance regardless of how much they disrespect me or my partner. They can come around after they see the light if they wish and we can move forward from there.

[Anonymous]

I would cut off but that's likely because I was raised to believe that I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect and that no one should be discriminated against based on race, religion, gender, or sexuality. So it's mostly because I was raised by a mother that is strongly opposed to that kind of discrimination that I would find it unacceptable.

Were I raised by/with people who think it's ok to discriminate against others, I'm sure I'd have a much harder time sticking up for myself in that way.

[Anonymous]

Cut off. But my family would never do that. Even if the other person was someone they vehemently disliked/disapproved of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would cut off but that's likely because I was raised to believe that I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect and that no one should be discriminated against based on race, religion, gender, or sexuality. So it's mostly because I was raised by a mother that is strongly opposed to that kind of discrimination that I would find it unacceptable.

Were I raised by/with people who think it's ok to discriminate against others, I'm sure I'd have a much harder time sticking up for myself in that way.

I guess this is the sad irony of these situations...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your family refused to meet your partner because they were of the wrong race, religion, or gender, would you cut off your relationship with your family or continue to reach out for acceptance?

It doesn't have to be so simplistic. You can still have relationship with your family without including your partner. I would skip the holidays and spend time with them alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your family refused to meet your partner because they were of the wrong race, religion, or gender, would you cut off your relationship with your family or continue to reach out for acceptance?

It doesn't have to be so simplistic. You can still have relationship with your family without including your partner. I would skip the holidays and spend time with them alone.

But why continue spending time with people who clearly don't love you enough to meet someone that's important to you? Especially if it means spending time away from a partner who does love you?

[Anonymous]

I would not spend time with them, but would send an annual holiday and birthday cards to let them know we were amenable to them deciding to reach out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your family refused to meet your partner because they were of the wrong race, religion, or gender, would you cut off your relationship with your family or continue to reach out for acceptance?

It doesn't have to be so simplistic. You can still have relationship with your family without including your partner. I would skip the holidays and spend time with them alone.

But why continue spending time with people who clearly don't love you enough to meet someone that's important to you? Especially if it means spending time away from a partner who does love you?

And isn't your continued interaction with your family basically telling your partner that their feelings are not important to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your family refused to meet your partner because they were of the wrong race, religion, or gender, would you cut off your relationship with your family or continue to reach out for acceptance?

It doesn't have to be so simplistic. You can still have relationship with your family without including your partner. I would skip the holidays and spend time with them alone.

But why continue spending time with people who clearly don't love you enough to meet someone that's important to you? Especially if it means spending time away from a partner who does love you?

Yes, because I love them and want them in my life. I also have no doubt that they love me, just disagree with me on certain things and chices. It's OK, I am going to be tolerant and not hate them for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your family refused to meet your partner because they were of the wrong race, religion, or gender, would you cut off your relationship with your family or continue to reach out for acceptance?

It doesn't have to be so simplistic. You can still have relationship with your family without including your partner. I would skip the holidays and spend time with them alone.

But why continue spending time with people who clearly don't love you enough to meet someone that's important to you? Especially if it means spending time away from a partner who does love you?

Yes, because I love them and want them in my life. I also have no doubt that they love me, just disagree with me on certain things and chices. It's OK, I am going to be tolerant and not hate them for that.

What if your tolerance of your family's views meant hurting your partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your family refused to meet your partner because they were of the wrong race, religion, or gender, would you cut off your relationship with your family or continue to reach out for acceptance?

It doesn't have to be so simplistic. You can still have relationship with your family without including your partner. I would skip the holidays and spend time with them alone.

But why continue spending time with people who clearly don't love you enough to meet someone that's important to you? Especially if it means spending time away from a partner who does love you?

Yes, because I love them and want them in my life. I also have no doubt that they love me, just disagree with me on certain things and chices. It's OK, I am going to be tolerant and not hate them for that.

What if your tolerance of your family's views meant hurting your partner?

How would they hurt my partner? They are not going to see him. I don't have to discuss their feelings with him. So no, I am not going to cut people who gave birth to me and raised me out of my life. Sure, its more work but I'll do it to keep both sides happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your family refused to meet your partner because they were of the wrong race, religion, or gender, would you cut off your relationship with your family or continue to reach out for acceptance?

It doesn't have to be so simplistic. You can still have relationship with your family without including your partner. I would skip the holidays and spend time with them alone.

But why continue spending time with people who clearly don't love you enough to meet someone that's important to you? Especially if it means spending time away from a partner who does love you?

Yes, because I love them and want them in my life. I also have no doubt that they love me, just disagree with me on certain things and chices. It's OK, I am going to be tolerant and not hate them for that.

What if your tolerance of your family's views meant hurting your partner?

How would they hurt my partner? They are not going to see him. I don't have to discuss their feelings with him. So no, I am not going to cut people who gave birth to me and raised me out of my life. Sure, its more work but I'll do it to keep both sides happy.

Are you saying that you would be okay being in a relationship where your partner saw their parents, but you would never meet them? I feel like it would become very clear to me that they simply didn't want to meet me. I guess I wouldn't stay in a relationship like that knowing that my partner didn't stick up for me.

[Anonymous]

At this point in my life, I would not trade my family for a sex partner. These two are simply not comparable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At this point in my life, I would not trade my family for a sex partner. These two are simply not comparable.

We're not talking about a booty call, we're talking about the person you are building your life with, be they a spouse or a long term partner.