Making my teen pay....

[Anonymous]

for her own college applications and her parking fee at school. My DD will be 18 in December. I keep sending her the message that my DW and I will help her pay for college but that she should not expect us to pay a full ride. We don't have dedicated college savings, but with our current HHI can easily pay full price out if monthly income at almost any college or university in the U.S. That being said, my DD knows money doesn't grow on trees, and we have raised her to be frugal. She does most of her shopping at thrift shops, and scoffs at the "richies" in her NOVA high school who have Mommy and Daddy hand them everything. She had a summer job this summer and has saved some m

[Anonymous]

Dammit! Typing in an iPhone while on the bus! ?

money. I've told her she can apply to no more than 8 colleges. The cost of just applications could run into thousands. I'm starting to think I'll have her pay her application fees. I've already shelled out a couple grand for test prep.

Also, a parking pass for parking in campus is $200. I'm thinking I having her cover that too. When I was her age I worked during the school year to pay for my gas and insurance.

I think what I'm asking is minimal and will help her realize that you have certain fixed expenses that get paid first and you need to budget for them.

What says DCUM?

[Anonymous]

I think it's great. Preferable to the seeming interminable coddling that seems to go on these days. I became independent at eighteen and put myself through college. Grew up a lot faster and appreciate the value of money more than many of my peers.

[Anonymous]

Pay for her applications. Set a budget of what you want her to pay towards her tuition, and talk through with her how she's going to do that. Do you want her to work while she's in school? Paying for her parking and clothes, entertainment, and miscellaneous seems ok if she has savings.

[Anonymous]

I'd rather have her save her money as spending money for while she's in school, so no, I wouldn't have her pay for the applications, but that's just me. My parents paid for mine, and I plan on doing the same for my kids. I *did* have to pay for my parking permit though, as that was a splurge since there was a perfectly acceptable bus for me to ride.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you continually want to test her for no reason.

Set an amount you want her to pay and set a budget for her. Stop making this a constant test of her morality and stop sending her constant "messages." That sounds petty and harassive. I'm sure she gets it. She's frugal, right? What do you want from her? She's already shopping at thrift stores. You sound a little obsessed, frankly.

[Anonymous]

This seems like a hard ass control issue for you. Sounds like you raised a child that has adopted many/most of your financial views and practices - why add needless stress to the application process by asking her to pay the application fees (its such a crap shoot now as to who gets in where). By all means, set a budget for day to day living, and ask her to pay for extra/optional expenses if that makes your heart all a flutter. It sounds parsimonious to me and like you are trying to teach a life lesson she's already adopted. You've come this far - why not celebrate and let her concentrate on her studies and adult life launch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:for her own college applications and her parking fee at school. My DD will be 18 in December. I keep sending her the message that my DW and I will help her pay for college but that she should not expect us to pay a full ride. We don't have dedicated college savings, but with our current HHI can easily pay full price out if monthly income at almost any college or university in the U.S. That being said, my DD knows money doesn't grow on trees, and we have raised her to be frugal. She does most of her shopping at thrift shops, and scoffs at the "richies" in her NOVA high school who have Mommy and Daddy hand them everything. She had a summer job this summer and has saved some m

Your HHI can pay for almost any college in the US? Thats about $60k per year or $5k per month and you are stressing about a parking fee or $1k in college applications? I understand being frugal and I understand households were $1k is alot of money but yours does not sound like one. Stop being a tight ass cheapskate.

Also something does not quite add up in your statement. You have enough free cash flow to pay for $5k per month but you don't have any college savings and are going to pay for college out of current income? Unless things in your life have changed, you should have amassed quite a bit of savings in the past few years. If you have not, where is $5k per month coming from?

[Anonymous]

I think it's great that you have identified specific things you expect her to pay for and that she has time in advance to plan for these expenditures. One of the things I am seeing as my oldest is getting ready for college is that saving for college is such a nebulous goal and when you don't have a specific bill or due date for a payment with a specific and known amount, it's really tempting to use money now that should otherwise be saved. I'm going to consider this as I work with my son. It's his first big saving for something experience.

BTW, I am also of the mindset that my kids need to contribute to the cost of their education even though I can afford to pay for it.

[Anonymous]

So if she spends all her money now on application fees, are you going to give her spending money while in college?

My parents told me I was on my own for college spending money and book money from a young age. So I saved every penny from babysitting and then high school jobs. If I had to wipe it out to cover application fees (which were substantially lower back then) I would have been in panic mode. Books were super expensive, even if you bought used. I had a job in college, but the hours I could work were limited by my class schedule and the need to study and I could never have replaced the money and then come up with the additional I needed for books and living supplies like shampoo and deodorant.

[Anonymous]

It seems like you've done a good job instilling smart financial management, why punish her with making her pay for application fees if you can easily afford it? Isn't it a little late to be asking her to pay now, when applications are due in the next several months? Isn't the lesson you're trying to teach is to save up for things she wants, not spring a 1K bill on her for something that hadn't expected to pay? If she is being flighty and wants to apply to a dozen schools without even thinking about them, then yes, you pay for the first 8 applications and she pays for any extra. But unless she is changing her mind every week, wants to apply to all the same schools as her friends etc, it seems like a pretty harsh punishment to make her pay for these.

I think it's fine to have her pay the parking permit if she wants to bring a car on campus, and work out a budget where you pay for required things that you can afford and she pays for any extras. Let her focus on school work and getting establish in a new place without all the added stress. Basic clothes, you buy, fancy dress for a sorority party, that's on her.

You've done a good job so far, don't screw it up now!

[Anonymous]

I agree with a PP. Don't send messages but instead sit down and have a conversation. Don't expect her to adult if you don't treat her like one.

I think you should go ahead and pay the application fee but have her pay parking and books and school supplies for the duration of college.

You might also want to bring how long you are willing to pay for college. If you are only intend to pay for 4 years, tell her now.

Also, since you are using monthly income, you need to let her know that as well. If anything happens and you lose that income it would directly effect her.

Apply for FA even if you don't believe you will get it.

Encourage her to apply for scholarships as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with a PP. Don't send messages but instead sit down and have a conversation. Don't expect her to adult if you don't treat her like one.

I think you should go ahead and pay the application fee but have her pay parking and books and school supplies for the duration of college.

You might also want to bring how long you are willing to pay for college. If you are only intend to pay for 4 years, tell her now.

Also, since you are using monthly income, you need to let her know that as well. If anything happens and you lose that income it would directly effect her.

Apply for FA even if you don't believe you will get it.

Encourage her to apply for scholarships as well.

Great. Waste peoples' time and undermine the needy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you continually want to test her for no reason.

Set an amount you want her to pay and set a budget for her. Stop making this a constant test of her morality and stop sending her constant "messages." That sounds petty and harassive. I'm sure she gets it. She's frugal, right? What do you want from her? She's already shopping at thrift stores. You sound a little obsessed, frankly.

Where do you get off that I sending her constant "messages?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for her own college applications and her parking fee at school. My DD will be 18 in December. I keep sending her the message that my DW and I will help her pay for college but that she should not expect us to pay a full ride. We don't have dedicated college savings, but with our current HHI can easily pay full price out if monthly income at almost any college or university in the U.S. That being said, my DD knows money doesn't grow on trees, and we have raised her to be frugal. She does most of her shopping at thrift shops, and scoffs at the "richies" in her NOVA high school who have Mommy and Daddy hand them everything. She had a summer job this summer and has saved some m

Your HHI can pay for almost any college in the US? Thats about $60k per year or $5k per month and you are stressing about a parking fee or $1k in college applications? I understand being frugal and I understand households were $1k is alot of money but yours does not sound like one. Stop being a tight ass cheapskate.

Also something does not quite add up in your statement. You have enough free cash flow to pay for $5k per month but you don't have any college savings and are going to pay for college out of current income? Unless things in your life have changed, you should have amassed quite a bit of savings in the past few years. If you have not, where is $5k per month coming from?

For of our marriage, my wife did not work. She went back to work about two years ago, which basically doubled our HHI. With her income we clear $9K per month after taxes and expenses We also have significant investments - over $1 million - and significant home equity. So, no, we don't have a dedicated college savings account, but plenty of other resources that can be tapped to help my daughter pay for college. Money is fungible.