Making my teen pay....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents did not know where I applied to college until I was accepted . Too much helicopter parenting these days.

Sad your parents take no involvement in your education. I didn't know where I applied till I got in.

[Anonymous]

Op is a NoVa parent. Enough said

[Anonymous]

If you want to teach her how to manage money, I think paying application and parking fees while you pay the rest is a bit random.

My parents paid tuition and school expenses and didn't want me working my first year so I could get a good start. The summer after my freshman year I got a job and worked for the rest of my time in college. At that point, I moved into an apartment that my parents paid for...but, the deal was that I needed to pay all my living expenses--so apartment bills, food, clothes, haircuts, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a note that paying for the applications herself also means you have no legitimate say in where she applies. Are you prepared to be left out of that entirely?

OP here. I like the idea of setting a budget for applications - say $1000. That gives her at least 10 schools. What is a reasonable number - I think 9: 2-3 reach, 3 match and 3 safety. As far as my having a say, both her Mom and I have said her choice is exactly that - her choice. I still think she should pay for her HIGH SCHOOL parking pass.

Also, regarding school budget, I've said I guarantee that she can attend any Commonwealth of Virginia school "full ride," but if she wants OOS or private she'll have to cover the difference. I've not discouraged her from looking at privates and emphasized she needs to consider what merit FA they might have on offer. Her school list thus far includes UVA, W&M, JMU, Smith and Simmons. I'm not sure at this point what else she is considering.

Her driving to school saves you from driving her. You pay.

No, she can do are the bus. I already cover the car payment and insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for her own college applications and her parking fee at school. My DD will be 18 in December. I keep sending her the message that my DW and I will help her pay for college but that she should not expect us to pay a full ride. We don't have dedicated college savings, but with our current HHI can easily pay full price out if monthly income at almost any college or university in the U.S. That being said, my DD knows money doesn't grow on trees, and we have raised her to be frugal. She does most of her shopping at thrift shops, and scoffs at the "richies" in her NOVA high school who have Mommy and Daddy hand them everything. She had a summer job this summer and has saved some m

Your HHI can pay for almost any college in the US? Thats about $60k per year or $5k per month and you are stressing about a parking fee or $1k in college applications? I understand being frugal and I understand households were $1k is alot of money but yours does not sound like one. Stop being a tight ass cheapskate.

Also something does not quite add up in your statement. You have enough free cash flow to pay for $5k per month but you don't have any college savings and are going to pay for college out of current income? Unless things in your life have changed, you should have amassed quite a bit of savings in the past few years. If you have not, where is $5k per month coming from?

Having money and teaching your children the value of money are very different things. We can easily afford $60k, too, but our kids will have some financial skin in the game. The likelihood that they will ever achieve our financial success is limited. Better they learn now that not everything will be handed to them on a silver platter. I see a lot of kids around here who are being set up for a lot of misery in life because they have unrealistic expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a note that paying for the applications herself also means you have no legitimate say in where she applies. Are you prepared to be left out of that entirely?

OP here. I like the idea of setting a budget for applications - say $1000. That gives her at least 10 schools. What is a reasonable number - I think 9: 2-3 reach, 3 match and 3 safety. As far as my having a say, both her Mom and I have said her choice is exactly that - her choice. I still think she should pay for her HIGH SCHOOL parking pass.

Also, regarding school budget, I've said I guarantee that she can attend any Commonwealth of Virginia school "full ride," but if she wants OOS or private she'll have to cover the difference. I've not discouraged her from looking at privates and emphasized she needs to consider what merit FA they might have on offer. Her school list thus far includes UVA, W&M, JMU, Smith and Simmons. I'm not sure at this point what else she is considering.

You realize that she won't qualify for loans or anything to pay for that tuition that goes beyond what you offer her because she will be tied to your income. If she doesn't get a scholarship, she may be SOL in terms of being able to pay the remainder -so you are effectively limiting her options.

[Anonymous]

Then she goes to any of our fine Commonwealth of Virginia institutions. Why pay $60K plus OOS or private, when I can pay that amount for four years Virginia in-state via the VCCS guaranteed admission agreements?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's great. Preferable to the seeming interminable coddling that seems to go on these days. I became independent at eighteen and put myself through college. Grew up a lot faster and appreciate the value of money more than many of my peers.

Agree with most of the above but how old are you, PP? Unless they are awarded a large scholarship or attend community college, it is nearly impossible for today's 18-year-olds to put themselves through college as the costs have far outpaced inflation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents did not know where I applied to college until I was accepted . Too much helicopter parenting these days.

Sad your parents take no involvement in your education. I didn't know where I applied till I got in.

Is this a joke or are you implying that your parents decided where to apply/applied for you?

[Anonymous]

Probably the latter!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's great. Preferable to the seeming interminable coddling that seems to go on these days. I became independent at eighteen and put myself through college. Grew up a lot faster and appreciate the value of money more than many of my peers.

Agree with most of the above but how old are you, PP? Unless they are awarded a large scholarship or attend community college, it is nearly impossible for today's 18-year-olds to put themselves through college as the costs have far outpaced inflation.

And this is why I call bullsh*t on the "college is not affordable" for the middle class claim. There are plenty of options out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's great. Preferable to the seeming interminable coddling that seems to go on these days. I became independent at eighteen and put myself through college. Grew up a lot faster and appreciate the value of money more than many of my peers.

Agree with most of the above but how old are you, PP? Unless they are awarded a large scholarship or attend community college, it is nearly impossible for today's 18-year-olds to put themselves through college as the costs have far outpaced inflation.

And this is why I call bullsh*t on the "college is not affordable" for the middle class claim. There are plenty of options out there.

You can only attend community college for 2 academic years, though. Even the cost of just the 2 remaining years at a 4-year college needed to earn a BA/BS is astronomical & not something the vast majority of students can afford on their own.

[Anonymous]

And for that there are scholarships and Mom and Dad. Wouldn't be nice if everything were just free? Oh, wait, as they say in Russia the only free cheese is in a mouse trap!

[Anonymous]

Oh and there is also the GI Bill. The brick walls are there for the other people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you continually want to test her for no reason.

Set an amount you want her to pay and set a budget for her. Stop making this a constant test of her morality and stop sending her constant "messages." That sounds petty and harassive. I'm sure she gets it. She's frugal, right? What do you want from her? She's already shopping at thrift stores. You sound a little obsessed, frankly.

This.