Just found pot in DD's room and flushed it down the toilet

[Anonymous]

Honestly I would have held onto if for myself but DH was worried having it in the house would affect his clearance. We live in DC so it's legal by district law for *adults* - DD is sixteen. I could smell it from the hall which is why I went looking.

Now I'm not sure about next steps. Im tempted to say nothing and see if she has the courage to mention it/apologize. We aren't super anti-pot, DD knows we think it's safer than alcohol and should be legal for adults but that teens shouldn't be doing either. We don't smoke - DH never has and I haven't since college, so she's not getting any messaging that this is okay behavior. I'm annoyed that she disrespected us/broke the rules, but not that worked up over occasional pot smoking. So what's the best way to approach this?

[Anonymous]

We took a harder line than this. Made it clear that illegal drugs were not acceptable, did a drug test, and grounded for a month. It worked for us. If your DD is smoking in the house on a Sunday afternoon it sounds like it's more than a social thing and maybe more of a serious issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would have held onto if for myself but DH was worried having it in the house would affect his clearance. We live in DC so it's legal by district law for *adults* - DD is sixteen. I could smell it from the hall which is why I went looking.

Now I'm not sure about next steps. Im tempted to say nothing and see if she has the courage to mention it/apologize. We aren't super anti-pot, DD knows we think it's safer than alcohol and should be legal for adults but that teens shouldn't be doing either. We don't smoke - DH never has and I haven't since college, so she's not getting any messaging that this is okay behavior. I'm annoyed that she disrespected us/broke the rules, but not that worked up over occasional pot smoking. So what's the best way to approach this?

Your whole attitude is why your daughter is getting high. She's probably giving up the goodies too. Why bother with any talk or punishment.

[Anonymous]

You're the parent. Even if pot is legal in some circumstances, it's not appropriate for a minor, just like alcohol. Lay down the law and establish consequences. You would be the one to know what the most effective one is for her.

[Anonymous]

Reality check. Pot in ypur child's room is no okay. And BTW, neither is a bottle of vodka. Parent your kid FFS.

[Anonymous]

Why bother. You seem lackadaisical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would have held onto if for myself but DH was worried having it in the house would affect his clearance. We live in DC so it's legal by district law for *adults* - DD is sixteen. I could smell it from the hall which is why I went looking.

Now I'm not sure about next steps. Im tempted to say nothing and see if she has the courage to mention it/apologize. We aren't super anti-pot, DD knows we think it's safer than alcohol and should be legal for adults but that teens shouldn't be doing either. We don't smoke - DH never has and I haven't since college, so she's not getting any messaging that this is okay behavior. I'm annoyed that she disrespected us/broke the rules, but not that worked up over occasional pot smoking. So what's the best way to approach this?

Your whole attitude is why your daughter is getting high. She's probably giving up the goodies too. Why bother with any talk or punishment.

+1 OP, you're sending mixed messages there. You don't get worked up with occasional use, but just not in the house?

[Anonymous]

OP would have held on to it for herself - ha!

You're a riot, OP.

[Anonymous]

I would treat it just like I would treat alcohol possession (the same in my view). Tossed, plus significant grounding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would have held onto if for myself but DH was worried having it in the house would affect his clearance. We live in DC so it's legal by district law for *adults* - DD is sixteen. I could smell it from the hall which is why I went looking.

Now I'm not sure about next steps. Im tempted to say nothing and see if she has the courage to mention it/apologize. We aren't super anti-pot, DD knows we think it's safer than alcohol and should be legal for adults but that teens shouldn't be doing either. We don't smoke - DH never has and I haven't since college, so she's not getting any messaging that this is okay behavior. I'm annoyed that she disrespected us/broke the rules, but not that worked up over occasional pot smoking. So what's the best way to approach this?[/quote]

OP, your position here seems to be, "I am upset about this because the rule was that she's not supposed to have pot in the house, and she broke that rule." So, how do you usually approach it when she breaks a rule?

[Anonymous]

You sound like an idiot.

[Anonymous]

OP does not sound like an idiot. She sounds like a rational person who knows pot is not evil, but still doesn't want her teen to bring it in the house.

Tell your teen just this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP does not sound like an idiot. She sounds like a rational person who knows pot is not evil, but still doesn't want her teen to bring it in the house.

Tell your teen just this.

Pot is evil for kids. And in this case, it could mess with her father's security clearance and therefore his livelihood. What is so wrong with waiting until you are legal to do something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP does not sound like an idiot. She sounds like a rational person who knows pot is not evil, but still doesn't want her teen to bring it in the house.

Tell your teen just this.

Pot is evil for kids. And in this case, it could mess with her father's security clearance and therefore his livelihood. What is so wrong with waiting until you are legal to do something?

Um, yeah. That's pretty much what I said. She doesn't want her (not yet legal) teen to bring it in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP does not sound like an idiot. She sounds like a rational person who knows pot is not evil, but still doesn't want her teen to bring it in the house.

Tell your teen just this.

Pot is evil for kids. And in this case, it could mess with her father's security clearance and therefore his livelihood. What is so wrong with waiting until you are legal to do something?

Um, yeah. That's pretty much what I said. She doesn't want her (not yet legal) teen to bring it in the house.

No, your message came across as if it's OK kid smokes pot, just not in the house. I'm saying kids shouldn't smoke, period. Wait until you are 21.