Just found pot in DD's room and flushed it down the toilet

[Anonymous]

Sounds like some primo pot you flushed down the toilet.

Should've given it to one of your friends.

DD can smoke with your friend when she's older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would have held onto if for myself but DH was worried having it in the house would affect his clearance. We live in DC so it's legal by district law for *adults* - DD is sixteen. I could smell it from the hall which is why I went looking.

Now I'm not sure about next steps. Im tempted to say nothing and see if she has the courage to mention it/apologize. We aren't super anti-pot, DD knows we think it's safer than alcohol and should be legal for adults but that teens shouldn't be doing either. We don't smoke - DH never has and I haven't since college, so she's not getting any messaging that this is okay behavior. I'm annoyed that she disrespected us/broke the rules, but not that worked up over occasional pot smoking. So what's the best way to approach this?

Your whole attitude is why your daughter is getting high. She's probably giving up the goodies too. Why bother with any talk or punishment.

+1 OP, you're sending mixed messages there. You don't get worked up with occasional use, but just not in the house?

+ another 1.

[Anonymous]

Oh please. DD is getting high because she is 16. There are kids with strict parents who do it and kids with absentee parents who don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something like 30 to 35 percent of sophomores and seniors in my kid's FCPS high school smoke weed according to the latest student survey, including, apparently, almost every kid my DC knows (Some of them smoke WITH their parents). A lot of the indignant people telling OP that she's a shitty parent probably have teens who smoke weed - they just don't know about it. (Or, they have preschoolers and don't have to worry about it for another decade).

Yep. I read somewhere recently that kids these days are more likely to smoke pot than cigarettes.

Cigarettes are so much worse for your health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like some primo pot you flushed down the toilet.

Should've given it to one of your friends.

DD can smoke with your friend when she's older.

I know, right? Next time (God forbid) maybe I'll pass it on. Hen at least someone gets to have a good day -OP

[Anonymous]

I can't wait to confiscate my kid's weed one day! Score!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't wait to confiscate my kid's weed one day! Score!!

I know. Especially if it's stuff I can smell from the hallway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would have held onto if for myself but DH was worried having it in the house would affect his clearance. We live in DC so it's legal by district law for *adults* - DD is sixteen. I could smell it from the hall which is why I went looking.

Now I'm not sure about next steps. Im tempted to say nothing and see if she has the courage to mention it/apologize. We aren't super anti-pot, DD knows we think it's safer than alcohol and should be legal for adults but that teens shouldn't be doing either. We don't smoke - DH never has and I haven't since college, so she's not getting any messaging that this is okay behavior. I'm annoyed that she disrespected us/broke the rules, but not that worked up over occasional pot smoking. So what's the best way to approach this?

your an idiot if you think it is "safer" than alcohol. They both affect the brain in a detrimintal way. And your attitude of "held on for myself" is why your child is using it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP does not sound like an idiot. She sounds like a rational person who knows pot is not evil, but still doesn't want her teen to bring it in the house.

Tell your teen just this.

OP said she doesn't care that her 16 year old does occasional pot. That is an idiot

This. And with OP as a mother, DD needs to preserve the brain cells she has. Genetics are not working in her favor here.

Jesus, people, get a grip. It's pot. She's 16. Try to stop it. I actually don't know anyone in my social circle (PhDs, professionals, etc.) who DIDN'T smoke pot in HS. The conversation needs to be about being safe and smart. Abstinence-only discussions go over about as well as those surrounding sex.

You've queried your entire social circle and know that every single person in it smoked weed in high school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP does not sound like an idiot. She sounds like a rational person who knows pot is not evil, but still doesn't want her teen to bring it in the house.

Tell your teen just this.

OP said she doesn't care that her 16 year old does occasional pot. That is an idiot

This. And with OP as a mother, DD needs to preserve the brain cells she has. Genetics are not working in her favor here.

Jesus, people, get a grip. It's pot. She's 16. Try to stop it. I actually don't know anyone in my social circle (PhDs, professionals, etc.) who DIDN'T smoke pot in HS. The conversation needs to be about being safe and smart. Abstinence-only discussions go over about as well as those surrounding sex.

You've queried your entire social circle and know that every single person in it smoked weed in high school?

Neither my DH nor I, or my BFs from HS smoked pot. I'm from Los Angeles, so it's not like pot wasn't available where I'm from. So, no, not all 16 yr olds have tried pot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. DD is getting high because she is 16. There are kids with strict parents who do it and kids with absentee parents who don't.

This. It's all about her social circle. I had laid-back parents and I never smoked pot or drank in high school. College was a different story. The difference? My friends.

OP, I think you're right to not freak out, I think you were right to flush it, and I think you're right to talk to her. I have no sage advice for WHAT to say, but I think you have a good head on your shoulders and the right attitude, and because of that, will have the right words and message when you talk to your DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would have held onto if for myself but DH was worried having it in the house would affect his clearance. We live in DC so it's legal by district law for *adults* - DD is sixteen. I could smell it from the hall which is why I went looking.

Now I'm not sure about next steps. Im tempted to say nothing and see if she has the courage to mention it/apologize. We aren't super anti-pot, DD knows we think it's safer than alcohol and should be legal for adults but that teens shouldn't be doing either. We don't smoke - DH never has and I haven't since college, so she's not getting any messaging that this is okay behavior. I'm annoyed that she disrespected us/broke the rules, but not that worked up over occasional pot smoking. So what's the best way to approach this?

your an idiot if you think it is "safer" than alcohol. They both affect the brain in a detrimintal way. And your attitude of "held on for myself" is why your child is using it.

Np here. It's safer. Alcohol kills people. Marijuana doesn't.

Regarding OP's attitude, you're wrong, as explained in other posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP does not sound like an idiot. She sounds like a rational person who knows pot is not evil, but still doesn't want her teen to bring it in the house.

Tell your teen just this.

OP said she doesn't care that her 16 year old does occasional pot. That is an idiot

This. And with OP as a mother, DD needs to preserve the brain cells she has. Genetics are not working in her favor here.

Jesus, people, get a grip. It's pot. She's 16. Try to stop it. I actually don't know anyone in my social circle (PhDs, professionals, etc.) who DIDN'T smoke pot in HS. The conversation needs to be about being safe and smart. Abstinence-only discussions go over about as well as those surrounding sex.

You've queried your entire social circle and know that every single person in it smoked weed in high school?

Yes, while we were taking bong hits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would treat it just like I would treat alcohol possession (the same in my view). Tossed, plus significant grounding.

+1

[Anonymous]

I'd treat it like alcohol too. You should have a chat about the consequences from the school if they caught her with it. She would be expelled and they would turn her over to the police. Most kids don't fully understand what that does to their social life. It's devastating. There are quite a few kids who committed suicide after being expelled.