Just found pot in DD's room and flushed it down the toilet

[Anonymous]

I understand you, OP. My big issues with this would be, in no particular order:

1. she's doing something that could affect DH's job/the family's ability to support itself

2. she's doing something that can affect her brain, but it's still developing and will be until 24 or 25

3. she's doing something illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP does not sound like an idiot. She sounds like a rational person who knows pot is not evil, but still doesn't want her teen to bring it in the house.

Tell your teen just this.

OP said she doesn't care that her 16 year old does occasional pot. That is an idiot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP does not sound like an idiot. She sounds like a rational person who knows pot is not evil, but still doesn't want her teen to bring it in the house.

Tell your teen just this.

OP said she doesn't care that her 16 year old does occasional pot. That is an idiot

This. And with OP as a mother, DD needs to preserve the brain cells she has. Genetics are not working in her favor here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would have held onto if for myself but DH was worried having it in the house would affect his clearance. We live in DC so it's legal by district law for *adults* - DD is sixteen. I could smell it from the hall which is why I went looking.

Now I'm not sure about next steps. Im tempted to say nothing and see if she has the courage to mention it/apologize. We aren't super anti-pot, DD knows we think it's safer than alcohol and should be legal for adults but that teens shouldn't be doing either. We don't smoke - DH never has and I haven't since college, so she's not getting any messaging that this is okay behavior. I'm annoyed that she disrespected us/broke the rules, but not that worked up over occasional pot smoking. So what's the best way to approach this?

Your whole attitude is why your daughter is getting high. She's probably giving up the goodies too. Why bother with any talk or punishment.

+1 OP, you're sending mixed messages there. You don't get worked up with occasional use, but just not in the house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP does not sound like an idiot. She sounds like a rational person who knows pot is not evil, but still doesn't want her teen to bring it in the house.

Tell your teen just this.

OP said she doesn't care that her 16 year old does occasional pot. That is an idiot

This. And with OP as a mother, DD needs to preserve the brain cells she has. Genetics are not working in her favor here.

Jesus, people, get a grip. It's pot. She's 16. Try to stop it. I actually don't know anyone in my social circle (PhDs, professionals, etc.) who DIDN'T smoke pot in HS. The conversation needs to be about being safe and smart. Abstinence-only discussions go over about as well as those surrounding sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would have held onto if for myself but DH was worried having it in the house would affect his clearance. We live in DC so it's legal by district law for *adults* - DD is sixteen. I could smell it from the hall which is why I went looking.

Now I'm not sure about next steps. Im tempted to say nothing and see if she has the courage to mention it/apologize. We aren't super anti-pot, DD knows we think it's safer than alcohol and should be legal for adults but that teens shouldn't be doing either. We don't smoke - DH never has and I haven't since college, so she's not getting any messaging that this is okay behavior. I'm annoyed that she disrespected us/broke the rules, but not that worked up over occasional pot smoking. So what's the best way to approach this?

Your whole attitude is why your daughter is getting high. She's probably giving up the goodies too. Why bother with any talk or punishment.

+1 OP, you're sending mixed messages there. You don't get worked up with occasional use, but just not in the house?

Why is that a mixed message? The message is:

1. I'm ok with occasional pot use, but
2. Don't make it a habit, because that's bad for you, and
3. Don't do it at home, or Daddy might lose his security clearance, which would be bad for all of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP does not sound like an idiot. She sounds like a rational person who knows pot is not evil, but still doesn't want her teen to bring it in the house.

Tell your teen just this.

OP said she doesn't care that her 16 year old does occasional pot. That is an idiot

This. And with OP as a mother, DD needs to preserve the brain cells she has. Genetics are not working in her favor here.

Jesus, people, get a grip. It's pot. She's 16. Try to stop it. I actually don't know anyone in my social circle (PhDs, professionals, etc.) who DIDN'T smoke pot in HS. The conversation needs to be about being safe and smart. Abstinence-only discussions go over about as well as those surrounding sex.

Thanks PP. OP here. I didn't mean I don't care if she smokes pot occasionally. She never has before, well, to my knowledge but obvs after what kind today I'm doubting that. I said I'm not "worked up" as in I don't find this to be the end of the world. There will be a conversation about it when she gets home and I'll make it clear that this isn't okay, for the three reasons PP listed above. Thanks for the help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP does not sound like an idiot. She sounds like a rational person who knows pot is not evil, but still doesn't want her teen to bring it in the house.

Tell your teen just this.

OP said she doesn't care that her 16 year old does occasional pot. That is an idiot

This. And with OP as a mother, DD needs to preserve the brain cells she has. Genetics are not working in her favor here.

Jesus, people, get a grip. It's pot. She's 16. Try to stop it. I actually don't know anyone in my social circle (PhDs, professionals, etc.) who DIDN'T smoke pot in HS. The conversation needs to be about being safe and smart. Abstinence-only discussions go over about as well as those surrounding sex.

Sex =\= illegal (statutory rape aside)
Pot == illegal almost everywhere (DC aside)

Even if you personally think it's no big deal, you owe it to your kids not to shrug off violating the law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP does not sound like an idiot. She sounds like a rational person who knows pot is not evil, but still doesn't want her teen to bring it in the house.

Tell your teen just this.

OP said she doesn't care that her 16 year old does occasional pot. That is an idiot

This. And with OP as a mother, DD needs to preserve the brain cells she has. Genetics are not working in her favor here.

Jesus, people, get a grip. It's pot. She's 16. Try to stop it. I actually don't know anyone in my social circle (PhDs, professionals, etc.) who DIDN'T smoke pot in HS. The conversation needs to be about being safe and smart. Abstinence-only discussions go over about as well as those surrounding sex.

It's not abstinence-only. It's wait til it's legal.

[Anonymous]

I've smoked a good deal of pot in my life. One thing that stuck out to me, OP, is that you could smell it in her room from the hallway. It was probably very strong weed. I'd be concerned. Weed today is so much stronger than the hippie shit we smoked from the '60s and into the '90s. In my opinion, it's a lot more dangerous. When I was in high school, I smoked shitty weed out in the woods or in someone's basement - I'd be concerned about my kid running around DC high on this shit.

[Anonymous]

If a kid is caught with it at school or coming to school after getting high....big trouble. Zero tolerance now, unlike when I was in high school.

[Anonymous]

Something like 30 to 35 percent of sophomores and seniors in my kid's FCPS high school smoke weed according to the latest student survey, including, apparently, almost every kid my DC knows (Some of them smoke WITH their parents). A lot of the indignant people telling OP that she's a shitty parent probably have teens who smoke weed - they just don't know about it. (Or, they have preschoolers and don't have to worry about it for another decade).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something like 30 to 35 percent of sophomores and seniors in my kid's FCPS high school smoke weed according to the latest student survey, including, apparently, almost every kid my DC knows (Some of them smoke WITH their parents). A lot of the indignant people telling OP that she's a shitty parent probably have teens who smoke weed - they just don't know about it. (Or, they have preschoolers and don't have to worry about it for another decade).

Yep. I read somewhere recently that kids these days are more likely to smoke pot than cigarettes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would treat it just like I would treat alcohol possession (the same in my view). Tossed, plus significant grounding.

this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP does not sound like an idiot. She sounds like a rational person who knows pot is not evil, but still doesn't want her teen to bring it in the house.

Tell your teen just this.

OP said she doesn't care that her 16 year old does occasional pot. That is an idiot

This. And with OP as a mother, DD needs to preserve the brain cells she has. Genetics are not working in her favor here.

Jesus, people, get a grip. It's pot. She's 16. Try to stop it. I actually don't know anyone in my social circle (PhDs, professionals, etc.) who DIDN'T smoke pot in HS. The conversation needs to be about being safe and smart. Abstinence-only discussions go over about as well as those surrounding sex.

+420