My kid is in a class with a chair thrower

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Counties hide behind LRE to act like it’s the legal requirement for a certain child. In reality mainstream classes are just cheaper. Self-contained is way more expensive so they try to keep anyone they can mainstream. Even if the classroom teacher and the sped teacher and the parents agree the placement is not working, the county will fight it. I’ve seen it happen.

Private schools are failing because of this. Parents will not use them and vote to defund them. It is a death spiral.

You know what is also expensive? TJ. But the school board finds the money to help the advanced kids get even more advanced. They found the money for that. So the kids who are just normal are in the classroom with the disruptive kids and the majority go downhill because they don't have the same advocacy power.

What mainstreaming does is turn regular classrooms into special education classrooms, but it is the wrong fit for everyone.

+1

Schools need SPED rooms, but the SPED parents fight it.

Do you know many SPED parents? I have a SN child (non-violent) and have gotten to know a number of parents over the years with kids with issues like absconding from the classroom, violent outbursts, meltdowns, etc. and know multiple families who have fought for special placements for their kids. It’s a battle. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking.

I know 2 families who finally after YEARS got their kids placed in a private school like a PP mentioned. And 2 others who ended up leaving public and footing the bill for a private school on their own (which they’ve admitted they are lucky they can do). But not every family can afford this.

The only parents I know who don’t want special SPED rooms are those whose kids can absolutely be in a mainstream classroom. We shouldn’t be sending kids out of the regular classroom because of minor issues like stimming or difficulty paying attention. Also, SN are so varied that just dumping all the kids with and IEP in a class together makes no sense. One of my kids has speech issues … would you relegate him to a SPED classroom?

Why is there such resistance to pay for private school on their own? Why is the school on the hook for it? Plenty of people choose private schools over public and there's no expectation that someone else foot the bill. Kids only get one shot at school why waste time dithering if you can afford it but are too cheap to pay for the best school your child needs? It's messed up.

You obviously have no idea how much SPED-focused schools cost, and likely grew up in relative wealth. The vast majority of people could never dream of paying for these schools.

SPED schools cost $80k on the low end. At the high end, if you’re talking residential placement it’s $20k/mo and it’s a 12 mo school year. Most families just don’t have that sitting around. They are not thinking hmm…if we send Joe to private special ed, we won’t be able to take the private jet for our next vacation.

Parents gladly fork over that kind of money for college. Plus if the kid needs residential placement how in the world is as 6 hour day at a public school a viable alternative?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Counties hide behind LRE to act like it’s the legal requirement for a certain child. In reality mainstream classes are just cheaper. Self-contained is way more expensive so they try to keep anyone they can mainstream. Even if the classroom teacher and the sped teacher and the parents agree the placement is not working, the county will fight it. I’ve seen it happen.

Private schools are failing because of this. Parents will not use them and vote to defund them. It is a death spiral.

You know what is also expensive? TJ. But the school board finds the money to help the advanced kids get even more advanced. They found the money for that. So the kids who are just normal are in the classroom with the disruptive kids and the majority go downhill because they don't have the same advocacy power.

What mainstreaming does is turn regular classrooms into special education classrooms, but it is the wrong fit for everyone.

+1

Schools need SPED rooms, but the SPED parents fight it.

Do you know many SPED parents? I have a SN child (non-violent) and have gotten to know a number of parents over the years with kids with issues like absconding from the classroom, violent outbursts, meltdowns, etc. and know multiple families who have fought for special placements for their kids. It’s a battle. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking.

I know 2 families who finally after YEARS got their kids placed in a private school like a PP mentioned. And 2 others who ended up leaving public and footing the bill for a private school on their own (which they’ve admitted they are lucky they can do). But not every family can afford this.

The only parents I know who don’t want special SPED rooms are those whose kids can absolutely be in a mainstream classroom. We shouldn’t be sending kids out of the regular classroom because of minor issues like stimming or difficulty paying attention. Also, SN are so varied that just dumping all the kids with and IEP in a class together makes no sense. One of my kids has speech issues … would you relegate him to a SPED classroom?

Why is there such resistance to pay for private school on their own? Why is the school on the hook for it? Plenty of people choose private schools over public and there's no expectation that someone else foot the bill. Kids only get one shot at school why waste time dithering if you can afford it but are too cheap to pay for the best school your child needs? It's messed up.

Most people simply can’t afford a private special needs school. It’s not cheap. Fairfax County has, what, 30% FARMS students? Which is on the low side for the big school systems around here, MCPS, PGCPS, and Alexandria City have more. And then there’s the matter of a lot of the private SN schools don’t actually accept kids with serious behavioral challenges in terms of violent behavior. They’re more geared toward kids with learning disabilities, mild ID, and mild-moderate ASD. Sometimes there’s not a ready solution even if you have money to throw at a problem.

OK, but PP's example was a family or two that could afford it. But still wanted to fight the schools. What is with this stubborn resistance at the expense of their kids? They sound like selfish cheap a-holes who aren't really looking out for the child's best interests.

Being able to “afford” something is relative. These are not very wealthy big law families. I’m sure paying this tuition is having ripple effects on their savings, ability to support other children, etc. It seems natural families would want to see what assistance they can get before committing to hundreds of thousands of dollars over the long term to paying for private. That is a humongous sum of money for people.

So what? Lots of people can and do prioritize private school education. Why not these families?

Why not the other families in class?

Because public schools will soon just be the poor and the special needs. Can you not see which way the wind is blowing?

I see this too. Even now, the only decent public schools are the ones with mostly UMC families. There are still SN kids, but nearly the amount the high farms districts have. Which leads to another question: why are The behavioral problems and SN disproportionately high in low income areas? Seems to be more often that not, it is in fact tied to parenting and environment vs an actual medical disability

I’d guess it’s many different factors at play. Sometimes behavior is “contagious,” so one desk thrower could turn into 2 or 3 in the same class when those kids, who were “borderline” to begin with, see that Jimmy gets the whole class cleared when he gets upset, and they don’t want to do work so they start to do it too. FASD and drug use during pregnancy can certainly cause behavioral issues in kids, and is more commonly observed in lower income families. Little kids might be being raised by grandma because mom and/or dad are deceased or can’t be around due to their own problems (again, drug/alcohol abuse …) and maybe grandma is old and kind of checked out herself and lets the kids do whatever - or the kids are in foster care if no one from the family could care for them. No stability in their lives. Like a PP said, maybe the kid gets pigeonholed as “the bad kid” and that’s where their mindset is.

None of this excuses the behavior, of course. Admin has to do more to get these kids out of the regular classroom and get real help and not just put it back on teachers as a “classroom management issue.” Parents of the victimized kids have to raise hell, too, and hopefully escalate the issue. Again, I do think the vast majority of parents/guardians want MORE services and even more restriction for the kids with behavioral problems - not fewer. But when the school system isn’t forthcoming about it and you just lack the resources, yourself, to do hours and hours of research and come up with a plan that may or may not (probably will not) be respected - no one’s needs are being met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Counties hide behind LRE to act like it’s the legal requirement for a certain child. In reality mainstream classes are just cheaper. Self-contained is way more expensive so they try to keep anyone they can mainstream. Even if the classroom teacher and the sped teacher and the parents agree the placement is not working, the county will fight it. I’ve seen it happen.

Private schools are failing because of this. Parents will not use them and vote to defund them. It is a death spiral.

You know what is also expensive? TJ. But the school board finds the money to help the advanced kids get even more advanced. They found the money for that. So the kids who are just normal are in the classroom with the disruptive kids and the majority go downhill because they don't have the same advocacy power.

What mainstreaming does is turn regular classrooms into special education classrooms, but it is the wrong fit for everyone.

+1

Schools need SPED rooms, but the SPED parents fight it.

Do you know many SPED parents? I have a SN child (non-violent) and have gotten to know a number of parents over the years with kids with issues like absconding from the classroom, violent outbursts, meltdowns, etc. and know multiple families who have fought for special placements for their kids. It’s a battle. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking.

I know 2 families who finally after YEARS got their kids placed in a private school like a PP mentioned. And 2 others who ended up leaving public and footing the bill for a private school on their own (which they’ve admitted they are lucky they can do). But not every family can afford this.

The only parents I know who don’t want special SPED rooms are those whose kids can absolutely be in a mainstream classroom. We shouldn’t be sending kids out of the regular classroom because of minor issues like stimming or difficulty paying attention. Also, SN are so varied that just dumping all the kids with and IEP in a class together makes no sense. One of my kids has speech issues … would you relegate him to a SPED classroom?

Why is there such resistance to pay for private school on their own? Why is the school on the hook for it? Plenty of people choose private schools over public and there's no expectation that someone else foot the bill. Kids only get one shot at school why waste time dithering if you can afford it but are too cheap to pay for the best school your child needs? It's messed up.

You obviously have no idea how much SPED-focused schools cost, and likely grew up in relative wealth. The vast majority of people could never dream of paying for these schools.

Isn’t is crazy that people having kids couldn’t even afford to pay for their school unless it is free.

No it’s not crazy. We have these things called tax dollars that go toward paying for these things called public schools that our government has decided every child has a right to access.

Your line of thinking is that only the very wealthy should have children with us dystopian and frankly horrific. I hope I don’t know anyone like you IRL.

Kids are expensive. School tuition is a drop in the bucket among costs of having kids. I would never assume that the free public school option would work for an individual kid.

this is absolutely delusional. most families don’t have 40-50k to drop on tuition for 13 years.

Why are they having kids then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Counties hide behind LRE to act like it’s the legal requirement for a certain child. In reality mainstream classes are just cheaper. Self-contained is way more expensive so they try to keep anyone they can mainstream. Even if the classroom teacher and the sped teacher and the parents agree the placement is not working, the county will fight it. I’ve seen it happen.

Private schools are failing because of this. Parents will not use them and vote to defund them. It is a death spiral.

You know what is also expensive? TJ. But the school board finds the money to help the advanced kids get even more advanced. They found the money for that. So the kids who are just normal are in the classroom with the disruptive kids and the majority go downhill because they don't have the same advocacy power.

What mainstreaming does is turn regular classrooms into special education classrooms, but it is the wrong fit for everyone.

+1

Schools need SPED rooms, but the SPED parents fight it.

Do you know many SPED parents? I have a SN child (non-violent) and have gotten to know a number of parents over the years with kids with issues like absconding from the classroom, violent outbursts, meltdowns, etc. and know multiple families who have fought for special placements for their kids. It’s a battle. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking.

I know 2 families who finally after YEARS got their kids placed in a private school like a PP mentioned. And 2 others who ended up leaving public and footing the bill for a private school on their own (which they’ve admitted they are lucky they can do). But not every family can afford this.

The only parents I know who don’t want special SPED rooms are those whose kids can absolutely be in a mainstream classroom. We shouldn’t be sending kids out of the regular classroom because of minor issues like stimming or difficulty paying attention. Also, SN are so varied that just dumping all the kids with and IEP in a class together makes no sense. One of my kids has speech issues … would you relegate him to a SPED classroom?

Why is there such resistance to pay for private school on their own? Why is the school on the hook for it? Plenty of people choose private schools over public and there's no expectation that someone else foot the bill. Kids only get one shot at school why waste time dithering if you can afford it but are too cheap to pay for the best school your child needs? It's messed up.

You obviously have no idea how much SPED-focused schools cost, and likely grew up in relative wealth. The vast majority of people could never dream of paying for these schools.

Isn’t is crazy that people having kids couldn’t even afford to pay for their school unless it is free.

No it’s not crazy. We have these things called tax dollars that go toward paying for these things called public schools that our government has decided every child has a right to access.

Your line of thinking is that only the very wealthy should have children with us dystopian and frankly horrific. I hope I don’t know anyone like you IRL.

Kids are expensive. School tuition is a drop in the bucket among costs of having kids. I would never assume that the free public school option would work for an individual kid.

this is absolutely delusional. most families don’t have 40-50k to drop on tuition for 13 years.

Why are they having kids then?

You have lost your mind. Having children isn’t a luxury reserved for the wealthy.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:^ and the jerks I am referring to are the parents trying to insist that the children throwing chairs should stay home.

Why shouldn't they? They should be suspended for a certain amount of time to get behavior under control before given another chance.

So what if the parents can't get the behavior under control? Should these kids not get educated?

Violent kids have bigger issues and perhaps should enter full time therapy so they can be addressed properly instead of being ignored in school.

Cool. Want to tell us where to find “full time therapy” and tell me which health insurance plan pays for it? Cause I’m over here trying to find an in-network child psychologist for my kid with availability, and no dice. Surely you have a solution?

You pay for it.

I can’t afford it. The vast majority of people can’t. Full time therapy (like a partial in patient program) can be a hundred thousand dollars private pay, if you can even get a spot. If your family income is that of an average American, say $90k, there is simply no way to make it work. None.

What makes you think the average tax payer can afford to fund it? Also why should they fund your medical bills and not those of parents of children with Cystic Fibrosis or any other hardship?

Are you asking why health insurance should cover health care? Perhaps you’d like to go without yourself? You don’t need that cancer medicine, do you? No chemo for you! Good parents don’t get cancer, after all. They stay healthy so the normal tax payer isn’t inconvenienced!

Actually, if my kid gets cancer, I can't drop her off at school and tell the school the cancer is their problem because its too expensive for me to solve. If my kid gets sick I'm on my own.

Schools don’t take over medical care for kids with mental health issues either. They just provide an education which would happen for a kid with cancer too.

Not true. Schools are expected to control the behavior, which is a symptom of the “illness” and not part of educating the student.

Schools are accommodating disabilities, not providing treatment. A 1:1 aide or smaller class is a tool to help the child access education just like a wheelchair ramp.

The girl who was super violent in my daughter's 4th and 5th grade classroom had a 1:1 aide. The aide's job was to call for help when the student started throwing things while the teacher tried to evacuate the other 25+ students. No one was allowed to touch the child so they had to try and talk her down. It was madness. The next day she'd be in the class just like normal. Eventually they put her in a different class (I think with the 6th graders) and my daughter says she is in her in middle school this year. I have great sympathy for the parents of this girl - raising kids is extremely difficult - especially when your child has problems. It is nearly impossible to get therapy these days, the medications all have weird side effects - it's hard. My friend in New York asked the school to pay for private school for her son that had emotional difficulties and the school worked with her to find an appropriate school. I don't see why this can't be the case in this area as well.

We do have appropriate schools in this area. In Frederick there is Laurel Hall. In PG and Ffx there is Phillips. In Mont Co there is Shephard Pratt, RICA, Foundation, and Ridge. In FFX there is also Keller. Baltimore has even more options.

Of all of these only RICA is run by a school system supported by the state. The rest of these schools are private and the placing school district has to bear the cost. It’s expensive and considered the most restrictive environment. Schools want to try every less restrictive environment first before non public placement.

Unlike TJ, no parent runs to FB posting with pride and joy that their child was accepted to one of these schools. There is still very much a stigma associated with attending one of these schools.

My kid is in one of the schools I mentioned. What’s ironic to me is that parents don’t know how much their kid needs the help and support until they are placed there and they are finally successful. Most parents I’ve met over the years are grateful that their child is in this environment. It’s also interesting that most teachers in the gen ed settings are not familiar with the available programs. The school districts do a very good job of trying to keep information about available programs quiet. If you read the SN forum there are hundreds of questions asking about the different programs in different counties. Transparency would help a lot. The burden is on the parent to figure out what’s available and then try and figure out the best fit. This is where an advocate is helpful. But if you don’t have the money for an advocate and you don’t know that DCUM exists, then you don’t know what you don’t know. What you know is that your kid is the chair thrower and tomorrow the school will try X.

In all fairness I don’t think it’s the teachers’ role to know all of the options. That’s for the special Ed staff. They are the experts. I have found them knowledgeable. And, at least in MCPS, information on alternative is available on its website and that information is quite comprehensive and easy to find both by a simple google search and a MPCS website search. It’s not some secret and it’s not hidden.

I do agree that DCUM SN forum is a great resource for information - I have both sought info and contributed my knowledge and experience when relevant questions come up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Counties hide behind LRE to act like it’s the legal requirement for a certain child. In reality mainstream classes are just cheaper. Self-contained is way more expensive so they try to keep anyone they can mainstream. Even if the classroom teacher and the sped teacher and the parents agree the placement is not working, the county will fight it. I’ve seen it happen.

Private schools are failing because of this. Parents will not use them and vote to defund them. It is a death spiral.

You know what is also expensive? TJ. But the school board finds the money to help the advanced kids get even more advanced. They found the money for that. So the kids who are just normal are in the classroom with the disruptive kids and the majority go downhill because they don't have the same advocacy power.

What mainstreaming does is turn regular classrooms into special education classrooms, but it is the wrong fit for everyone.

+1

Schools need SPED rooms, but the SPED parents fight it.

Do you know many SPED parents? I have a SN child (non-violent) and have gotten to know a number of parents over the years with kids with issues like absconding from the classroom, violent outbursts, meltdowns, etc. and know multiple families who have fought for special placements for their kids. It’s a battle. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking.

I know 2 families who finally after YEARS got their kids placed in a private school like a PP mentioned. And 2 others who ended up leaving public and footing the bill for a private school on their own (which they’ve admitted they are lucky they can do). But not every family can afford this.

The only parents I know who don’t want special SPED rooms are those whose kids can absolutely be in a mainstream classroom. We shouldn’t be sending kids out of the regular classroom because of minor issues like stimming or difficulty paying attention. Also, SN are so varied that just dumping all the kids with and IEP in a class together makes no sense. One of my kids has speech issues … would you relegate him to a SPED classroom?

Why is there such resistance to pay for private school on their own? Why is the school on the hook for it? Plenty of people choose private schools over public and there's no expectation that someone else foot the bill. Kids only get one shot at school why waste time dithering if you can afford it but are too cheap to pay for the best school your child needs? It's messed up.

You obviously have no idea how much SPED-focused schools cost, and likely grew up in relative wealth. The vast majority of people could never dream of paying for these schools.

SPED schools cost $80k on the low end. At the high end, if you’re talking residential placement it’s $20k/mo and it’s a 12 mo school year. Most families just don’t have that sitting around. They are not thinking hmm…if we send Joe to private special ed, we won’t be able to take the private jet for our next vacation.

Parents gladly fork over that kind of money for college. Plus if the kid needs residential placement how in the world is as 6 hour day at a public school a viable alternative?

Other than on DCUM, I don’t know anyone in real life who does this. Plus parents would have had 12 years after ending daycare bills to save. Funding is definitely an issue for these programs but parents aren’t the answer.

[Anonymous]

Chair throwing seemed to be a big thing in DMV schools when we lived there. Our kids saw it, for sure. Then we moved, and it stopped happening. Maybe the chairs need to be glued to the floor in the DMV?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Counties hide behind LRE to act like it’s the legal requirement for a certain child. In reality mainstream classes are just cheaper. Self-contained is way more expensive so they try to keep anyone they can mainstream. Even if the classroom teacher and the sped teacher and the parents agree the placement is not working, the county will fight it. I’ve seen it happen.

Private schools are failing because of this. Parents will not use them and vote to defund them. It is a death spiral.

You know what is also expensive? TJ. But the school board finds the money to help the advanced kids get even more advanced. They found the money for that. So the kids who are just normal are in the classroom with the disruptive kids and the majority go downhill because they don't have the same advocacy power.

What mainstreaming does is turn regular classrooms into special education classrooms, but it is the wrong fit for everyone.

+1

Schools need SPED rooms, but the SPED parents fight it.

Do you know many SPED parents? I have a SN child (non-violent) and have gotten to know a number of parents over the years with kids with issues like absconding from the classroom, violent outbursts, meltdowns, etc. and know multiple families who have fought for special placements for their kids. It’s a battle. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking.

I know 2 families who finally after YEARS got their kids placed in a private school like a PP mentioned. And 2 others who ended up leaving public and footing the bill for a private school on their own (which they’ve admitted they are lucky they can do). But not every family can afford this.

The only parents I know who don’t want special SPED rooms are those whose kids can absolutely be in a mainstream classroom. We shouldn’t be sending kids out of the regular classroom because of minor issues like stimming or difficulty paying attention. Also, SN are so varied that just dumping all the kids with and IEP in a class together makes no sense. One of my kids has speech issues … would you relegate him to a SPED classroom?

Why is there such resistance to pay for private school on their own? Why is the school on the hook for it? Plenty of people choose private schools over public and there's no expectation that someone else foot the bill. Kids only get one shot at school why waste time dithering if you can afford it but are too cheap to pay for the best school your child needs? It's messed up.

You obviously have no idea how much SPED-focused schools cost, and likely grew up in relative wealth. The vast majority of people could never dream of paying for these schools.

Isn’t is crazy that people having kids couldn’t even afford to pay for their school unless it is free.

No! It's not crazy! It's how our society has been set up for over 100 years!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Counties hide behind LRE to act like it’s the legal requirement for a certain child. In reality mainstream classes are just cheaper. Self-contained is way more expensive so they try to keep anyone they can mainstream. Even if the classroom teacher and the sped teacher and the parents agree the placement is not working, the county will fight it. I’ve seen it happen.

Private schools are failing because of this. Parents will not use them and vote to defund them. It is a death spiral.

You know what is also expensive? TJ. But the school board finds the money to help the advanced kids get even more advanced. They found the money for that. So the kids who are just normal are in the classroom with the disruptive kids and the majority go downhill because they don't have the same advocacy power.

What mainstreaming does is turn regular classrooms into special education classrooms, but it is the wrong fit for everyone.

+1

Schools need SPED rooms, but the SPED parents fight it.

Do you know many SPED parents? I have a SN child (non-violent) and have gotten to know a number of parents over the years with kids with issues like absconding from the classroom, violent outbursts, meltdowns, etc. and know multiple families who have fought for special placements for their kids. It’s a battle. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking.

I know 2 families who finally after YEARS got their kids placed in a private school like a PP mentioned. And 2 others who ended up leaving public and footing the bill for a private school on their own (which they’ve admitted they are lucky they can do). But not every family can afford this.

The only parents I know who don’t want special SPED rooms are those whose kids can absolutely be in a mainstream classroom. We shouldn’t be sending kids out of the regular classroom because of minor issues like stimming or difficulty paying attention. Also, SN are so varied that just dumping all the kids with and IEP in a class together makes no sense. One of my kids has speech issues … would you relegate him to a SPED classroom?

Why is there such resistance to pay for private school on their own? Why is the school on the hook for it? Plenty of people choose private schools over public and there's no expectation that someone else foot the bill. Kids only get one shot at school why waste time dithering if you can afford it but are too cheap to pay for the best school your child needs? It's messed up.

You obviously have no idea how much SPED-focused schools cost, and likely grew up in relative wealth. The vast majority of people could never dream of paying for these schools.

Isn’t is crazy that people having kids couldn’t even afford to pay for their school unless it is free.

No it’s not crazy. We have these things called tax dollars that go toward paying for these things called public schools that our government has decided every child has a right to access.

Your line of thinking is that only the very wealthy should have children with us dystopian and frankly horrific. I hope I don’t know anyone like you IRL.

Kids are expensive. School tuition is a drop in the bucket among costs of having kids. I would never assume that the free public school option would work for an individual kid.

this is absolutely delusional. most families don’t have 40-50k to drop on tuition for 13 years.

Why are they having kids then?

You have lost your mind. Having children isn’t a luxury reserved for the wealthy.

Who do these people think will pay for their kids? They are extremely expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Counties hide behind LRE to act like it’s the legal requirement for a certain child. In reality mainstream classes are just cheaper. Self-contained is way more expensive so they try to keep anyone they can mainstream. Even if the classroom teacher and the sped teacher and the parents agree the placement is not working, the county will fight it. I’ve seen it happen.

Private schools are failing because of this. Parents will not use them and vote to defund them. It is a death spiral.

You know what is also expensive? TJ. But the school board finds the money to help the advanced kids get even more advanced. They found the money for that. So the kids who are just normal are in the classroom with the disruptive kids and the majority go downhill because they don't have the same advocacy power.

What mainstreaming does is turn regular classrooms into special education classrooms, but it is the wrong fit for everyone.

+1

Schools need SPED rooms, but the SPED parents fight it.

Do you know many SPED parents? I have a SN child (non-violent) and have gotten to know a number of parents over the years with kids with issues like absconding from the classroom, violent outbursts, meltdowns, etc. and know multiple families who have fought for special placements for their kids. It’s a battle. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking.

I know 2 families who finally after YEARS got their kids placed in a private school like a PP mentioned. And 2 others who ended up leaving public and footing the bill for a private school on their own (which they’ve admitted they are lucky they can do). But not every family can afford this.

The only parents I know who don’t want special SPED rooms are those whose kids can absolutely be in a mainstream classroom. We shouldn’t be sending kids out of the regular classroom because of minor issues like stimming or difficulty paying attention. Also, SN are so varied that just dumping all the kids with and IEP in a class together makes no sense. One of my kids has speech issues … would you relegate him to a SPED classroom?

Why is there such resistance to pay for private school on their own? Why is the school on the hook for it? Plenty of people choose private schools over public and there's no expectation that someone else foot the bill. Kids only get one shot at school why waste time dithering if you can afford it but are too cheap to pay for the best school your child needs? It's messed up.

You obviously have no idea how much SPED-focused schools cost, and likely grew up in relative wealth. The vast majority of people could never dream of paying for these schools.

Isn’t is crazy that people having kids couldn’t even afford to pay for their school unless it is free.

No! It's not crazy! It's how our society has been set up for over 100 years!

.

Free public schools doesn’t work for many kids, and parents shouldn’t rely on it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Counties hide behind LRE to act like it’s the legal requirement for a certain child. In reality mainstream classes are just cheaper. Self-contained is way more expensive so they try to keep anyone they can mainstream. Even if the classroom teacher and the sped teacher and the parents agree the placement is not working, the county will fight it. I’ve seen it happen.

Private schools are failing because of this. Parents will not use them and vote to defund them. It is a death spiral.

You know what is also expensive? TJ. But the school board finds the money to help the advanced kids get even more advanced. They found the money for that. So the kids who are just normal are in the classroom with the disruptive kids and the majority go downhill because they don't have the same advocacy power.

What mainstreaming does is turn regular classrooms into special education classrooms, but it is the wrong fit for everyone.

+1

Schools need SPED rooms, but the SPED parents fight it.

Do you know many SPED parents? I have a SN child (non-violent) and have gotten to know a number of parents over the years with kids with issues like absconding from the classroom, violent outbursts, meltdowns, etc. and know multiple families who have fought for special placements for their kids. It’s a battle. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking.

I know 2 families who finally after YEARS got their kids placed in a private school like a PP mentioned. And 2 others who ended up leaving public and footing the bill for a private school on their own (which they’ve admitted they are lucky they can do). But not every family can afford this.

The only parents I know who don’t want special SPED rooms are those whose kids can absolutely be in a mainstream classroom. We shouldn’t be sending kids out of the regular classroom because of minor issues like stimming or difficulty paying attention. Also, SN are so varied that just dumping all the kids with and IEP in a class together makes no sense. One of my kids has speech issues … would you relegate him to a SPED classroom?

Why is there such resistance to pay for private school on their own? Why is the school on the hook for it? Plenty of people choose private schools over public and there's no expectation that someone else foot the bill. Kids only get one shot at school why waste time dithering if you can afford it but are too cheap to pay for the best school your child needs? It's messed up.

You obviously have no idea how much SPED-focused schools cost, and likely grew up in relative wealth. The vast majority of people could never dream of paying for these schools.

Isn’t is crazy that people having kids couldn’t even afford to pay for their school unless it is free.

No it’s not crazy. We have these things called tax dollars that go toward paying for these things called public schools that our government has decided every child has a right to access.

Your line of thinking is that only the very wealthy should have children with us dystopian and frankly horrific. I hope I don’t know anyone like you IRL.

Kids are expensive. School tuition is a drop in the bucket among costs of having kids. I would never assume that the free public school option would work for an individual kid.

Well aren’t you just a perfect parent. Would you like a prize? Can I get you a cookie?

So you agree that parenting choices might be an issue here.

No. I think you’re pitiful for needing validation from an anonymous board by criticizing families of kids with disabilities so you can feel like a good parent.

I mean … good for you.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Counties hide behind LRE to act like it’s the legal requirement for a certain child. In reality mainstream classes are just cheaper. Self-contained is way more expensive so they try to keep anyone they can mainstream. Even if the classroom teacher and the sped teacher and the parents agree the placement is not working, the county will fight it. I’ve seen it happen.

Private schools are failing because of this. Parents will not use them and vote to defund them. It is a death spiral.

You know what is also expensive? TJ. But the school board finds the money to help the advanced kids get even more advanced. They found the money for that. So the kids who are just normal are in the classroom with the disruptive kids and the majority go downhill because they don't have the same advocacy power.

What mainstreaming does is turn regular classrooms into special education classrooms, but it is the wrong fit for everyone.

+1

Schools need SPED rooms, but the SPED parents fight it.

Do you know many SPED parents? I have a SN child (non-violent) and have gotten to know a number of parents over the years with kids with issues like absconding from the classroom, violent outbursts, meltdowns, etc. and know multiple families who have fought for special placements for their kids. It’s a battle. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking.

I know 2 families who finally after YEARS got their kids placed in a private school like a PP mentioned. And 2 others who ended up leaving public and footing the bill for a private school on their own (which they’ve admitted they are lucky they can do). But not every family can afford this.

The only parents I know who don’t want special SPED rooms are those whose kids can absolutely be in a mainstream classroom. We shouldn’t be sending kids out of the regular classroom because of minor issues like stimming or difficulty paying attention. Also, SN are so varied that just dumping all the kids with and IEP in a class together makes no sense. One of my kids has speech issues … would you relegate him to a SPED classroom?

Why is there such resistance to pay for private school on their own? Why is the school on the hook for it? Plenty of people choose private schools over public and there's no expectation that someone else foot the bill. Kids only get one shot at school why waste time dithering if you can afford it but are too cheap to pay for the best school your child needs? It's messed up.

Most people simply can’t afford a private special needs school. It’s not cheap. Fairfax County has, what, 30% FARMS students? Which is on the low side for the big school systems around here, MCPS, PGCPS, and Alexandria City have more. And then there’s the matter of a lot of the private SN schools don’t actually accept kids with serious behavioral challenges in terms of violent behavior. They’re more geared toward kids with learning disabilities, mild ID, and mild-moderate ASD. Sometimes there’s not a ready solution even if you have money to throw at a problem.

OK, but PP's example was a family or two that could afford it. But still wanted to fight the schools. What is with this stubborn resistance at the expense of their kids? They sound like selfish cheap a-holes who aren't really looking out for the child's best interests.

Being able to “afford” something is relative. These are not very wealthy big law families. I’m sure paying this tuition is having ripple effects on their savings, ability to support other children, etc. It seems natural families would want to see what assistance they can get before committing to hundreds of thousands of dollars over the long term to paying for private. That is a humongous sum of money for people.

So what? Lots of people can and do prioritize private school education. Why not these families?

Why not the other families in class?

Because public schools will soon just be the poor and the special needs. Can you not see which way the wind is blowing?

I see this too. Even now, the only decent public schools are the ones with mostly UMC families. There are still SN kids, but nearly the amount the high farms districts have. Which leads to another question: why are The behavioral problems and SN disproportionately high in low income areas? Seems to be more often that not, it is in fact tied to parenting and environment vs an actual medical disability

I think a PP made a good comparison about how resources and environment can exacerbate something like diabetes.

UMC parents have more resources (time, money) to help manage their children’s disabilities and provide them with therapies that lower income families cannot.

And I guess we could argue over whether the lower income parents cobbling together hourly wage jobs to make ends meet are bad parents because they can’t get their child expensive therapies and/or home school them. That seems to be what a lot of posters want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Counties hide behind LRE to act like it’s the legal requirement for a certain child. In reality mainstream classes are just cheaper. Self-contained is way more expensive so they try to keep anyone they can mainstream. Even if the classroom teacher and the sped teacher and the parents agree the placement is not working, the county will fight it. I’ve seen it happen.

Private schools are failing because of this. Parents will not use them and vote to defund them. It is a death spiral.

You know what is also expensive? TJ. But the school board finds the money to help the advanced kids get even more advanced. They found the money for that. So the kids who are just normal are in the classroom with the disruptive kids and the majority go downhill because they don't have the same advocacy power.

What mainstreaming does is turn regular classrooms into special education classrooms, but it is the wrong fit for everyone.

+1

Schools need SPED rooms, but the SPED parents fight it.

Do you know many SPED parents? I have a SN child (non-violent) and have gotten to know a number of parents over the years with kids with issues like absconding from the classroom, violent outbursts, meltdowns, etc. and know multiple families who have fought for special placements for their kids. It’s a battle. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking.

I know 2 families who finally after YEARS got their kids placed in a private school like a PP mentioned. And 2 others who ended up leaving public and footing the bill for a private school on their own (which they’ve admitted they are lucky they can do). But not every family can afford this.

The only parents I know who don’t want special SPED rooms are those whose kids can absolutely be in a mainstream classroom. We shouldn’t be sending kids out of the regular classroom because of minor issues like stimming or difficulty paying attention. Also, SN are so varied that just dumping all the kids with and IEP in a class together makes no sense. One of my kids has speech issues … would you relegate him to a SPED classroom?

Why is there such resistance to pay for private school on their own? Why is the school on the hook for it? Plenty of people choose private schools over public and there's no expectation that someone else foot the bill. Kids only get one shot at school why waste time dithering if you can afford it but are too cheap to pay for the best school your child needs? It's messed up.

You obviously have no idea how much SPED-focused schools cost, and likely grew up in relative wealth. The vast majority of people could never dream of paying for these schools.

Isn’t is crazy that people having kids couldn’t even afford to pay for their school unless it is free.

I’m unhappy right now my taxes are being used to educate your kids. My kids are in private. I should get to opt out of paying for public

Well there’s the honest truth isn’t it. You don’t give a crap about educating anyone’s children except your own. You’re totally fine with kids from non-wealthy families just ending up illiterate and uneducated?

From a moral standpoint that is pretty awful. But it also makes no sense because your tax dollars will be even higher when all these children cannot find jobs to support themselves, end up in prison, etc.

I’m sorry you don’t like living in a society. Maybe you should leave and go elsewhere since that is what you like to tell others to do.

[Anonymous]

Go back to using desks instead of table and chairs. The child will still throw something, but it won't be a chair or a desk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Counties hide behind LRE to act like it’s the legal requirement for a certain child. In reality mainstream classes are just cheaper. Self-contained is way more expensive so they try to keep anyone they can mainstream. Even if the classroom teacher and the sped teacher and the parents agree the placement is not working, the county will fight it. I’ve seen it happen.

Private schools are failing because of this. Parents will not use them and vote to defund them. It is a death spiral.

You know what is also expensive? TJ. But the school board finds the money to help the advanced kids get even more advanced. They found the money for that. So the kids who are just normal are in the classroom with the disruptive kids and the majority go downhill because they don't have the same advocacy power.

What mainstreaming does is turn regular classrooms into special education classrooms, but it is the wrong fit for everyone.

+1

Schools need SPED rooms, but the SPED parents fight it.

Do you know many SPED parents? I have a SN child (non-violent) and have gotten to know a number of parents over the years with kids with issues like absconding from the classroom, violent outbursts, meltdowns, etc. and know multiple families who have fought for special placements for their kids. It’s a battle. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking.

I know 2 families who finally after YEARS got their kids placed in a private school like a PP mentioned. And 2 others who ended up leaving public and footing the bill for a private school on their own (which they’ve admitted they are lucky they can do). But not every family can afford this.

The only parents I know who don’t want special SPED rooms are those whose kids can absolutely be in a mainstream classroom. We shouldn’t be sending kids out of the regular classroom because of minor issues like stimming or difficulty paying attention. Also, SN are so varied that just dumping all the kids with and IEP in a class together makes no sense. One of my kids has speech issues … would you relegate him to a SPED classroom?

Why is there such resistance to pay for private school on their own? Why is the school on the hook for it? Plenty of people choose private schools over public and there's no expectation that someone else foot the bill. Kids only get one shot at school why waste time dithering if you can afford it but are too cheap to pay for the best school your child needs? It's messed up.

You obviously have no idea how much SPED-focused schools cost, and likely grew up in relative wealth. The vast majority of people could never dream of paying for these schools.

SPED schools cost $80k on the low end. At the high end, if you’re talking residential placement it’s $20k/mo and it’s a 12 mo school year. Most families just don’t have that sitting around. They are not thinking hmm…if we send Joe to private special ed, we won’t be able to take the private jet for our next vacation.

Parents gladly fork over that kind of money for college. Plus if the kid needs residential placement how in the world is as 6 hour day at a public school a viable alternative?

You have got to be a troll. The vast vast majority of parents a) are not dropping 80k/year on private college tuition b) have 18 years to save for college and c) only have to pay for 4 years not an entire 13 year education.