Whitman Teacher and Crew Coach Arrested

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good questions from PP. Whitman rowing parent, it appears that you did not read the Post article from today? It makes very clear that the board parents knew perfectly well that there were several years worth of allegations from multiple girls discussing the toxic team environment, favoritism, and verbal abuse from Shipley. Even the lam-o investigator confirmed this in both of her investigations. It sounds like the board and investigator also knew there were allegations of inappropriate sexual behavior as well, if not the horrifying facts that have now come to light. The article made clear that there were 4 board members who had been there for years; they absolutely knew what was going on and absolutely bear blame for allowing Shipley to continue to have access to all these kids.

You say it wasn’t about the parents’ college admissions dreams for their girls, but I find that very hard to believe. Why else did parents allow him to turn a one-season club sport into an almost year round one with a schedule more grueling than most college programs? I’m not blaming you or any parent other than the ones on the board who willfully turned a blind eye to Shipley’s many abuses for what happened to the sexual assault victims. But I don’t understand how parents (or school officials) allowed the girls to participate in this clearly bizarre cult-of-Shipley situation year after year.

I read the article, but I see it through a different lens than you do.

I recognize that you find it hard to believe what I'm saying about scholarships and winning.

But it's the truth.

I am completely willing to believe that you or any other random Whitman rowing parent not in the inner circle had no idea that Shipley was an emotional abuser or predator. But you are really out of line with your comments about the Board. The article makes clear that several of them knew perfectly well that this guy was creating a very toxic environment at the very minimum, and they clearly had zero interest in protecting the girls who got together to write the letter.

I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that he turned this club into an extraordinarily grueling year-long exercise of the sort most D1 coaches would find over the top, and no parents apparently said a peep about it other than the couple brave dissenters mentioned in the article.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am a Whitman rowing parent.

No one was circling any wagons.

The board parents are not toxic.

To the contrary, the board's leaders are hardworking, genuinely kind people who have dedicated themselves to the team because their children love rowing.

They've known some of the crew kids since elementary school.

None of the parents knew about Shipley's alleged abuse.

It's fair to argue that we were all blind. But it was not because of college ambitions for our kids.

It was because normal people cannot imagine the kind of behavior described in the charging documents unless there's evidence or a clear report of it.

That came to the team on Tuesday, Aug. 24, 2021, the day Shipley was arrested.

The former rowers who reported him to the police have shown extraordinary courage and resolve.

Everyone wants justice done.

Whitman rowing parent,

1. Were you not bothered by the persistent rumors of favoritism, boundary-crossing and negative atmosphere the coach fostered on the teams?
2. Had you heard that the coach was pursuing underage or barely-aged team members? If you did, was there a reason you decided not to believe them until the arrest?




The answer to your first question is that I didn't know about those issues until Shipley was suspended.

To your second question, I never heard those rumors.

Shipley was suspended in June, but you were fine with him being hired back for the next year even after knowing what the accusations were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am a Whitman rowing parent.

No one was circling any wagons.

The board parents are not toxic.

To the contrary, the board's leaders are hardworking, genuinely kind people who have dedicated themselves to the team because their children love rowing.

They've known some of the crew kids since elementary school.

None of the parents knew about Shipley's alleged abuse.

It's fair to argue that we were all blind. But it was not because of college ambitions for our kids.

It was because normal people cannot imagine the kind of behavior described in the charging documents unless there's evidence or a clear report of it.

That came to the team on Tuesday, Aug. 24, 2021, the day Shipley was arrested.

The former rowers who reported him to the police have shown extraordinary courage and resolve.

Everyone wants justice done.

Whitman rowing parent,

1. Were you not bothered by the persistent rumors of favoritism, boundary-crossing and negative atmosphere the coach fostered on the teams?
2. Had you heard that the coach was pursuing underage or barely-aged team members? If you did, was there a reason you decided not to believe them until the arrest?

Seriously pathetic that you are defending the parents. They chose winning and scholarships over a healthy environment.

I'm not defending anything.
I feel guilty every day about this.

But it's false to say that the team kept on an alleged predator--putting all our kids in danger-- because we wanted to win races and get into good colleges.

I'm sorry, but what is fair to say? "we were all duped by a master manipulator?" "we're ALL victims here" "we did nothing wrong" "of course we care about kids"

I mean trot out any platitude you like. I get this is hard, but the facts are very damning here. Winning = a free pass.

You have mischaracterized what I've said.

No one has asked for a free pass.

It is fair to say that I feel terrible about failing my own child, the other rowers and especially the victims. I will live with it for the rest of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am a Whitman rowing parent.

No one was circling any wagons.

The board parents are not toxic.

To the contrary, the board's leaders are hardworking, genuinely kind people who have dedicated themselves to the team because their children love rowing.

They've known some of the crew kids since elementary school.

None of the parents knew about Shipley's alleged abuse.

It's fair to argue that we were all blind. But it was not because of college ambitions for our kids.

It was because normal people cannot imagine the kind of behavior described in the charging documents unless there's evidence or a clear report of it.

That came to the team on Tuesday, Aug. 24, 2021, the day Shipley was arrested.

The former rowers who reported him to the police have shown extraordinary courage and resolve.

Everyone wants justice done.

Whitman rowing parent,

1. Were you not bothered by the persistent rumors of favoritism, boundary-crossing and negative atmosphere the coach fostered on the teams?
2. Had you heard that the coach was pursuing underage or barely-aged team members? If you did, was there a reason you decided not to believe them until the arrest?

Seriously pathetic that you are defending the parents. They chose winning and scholarships over a healthy environment.

I'm not defending anything.
I feel guilty every day about this.

But it's false to say that the team kept on an alleged predator--putting all our kids in danger-- because we wanted to win races and get into good colleges.

I'm sorry, but what is fair to say? "we were all duped by a master manipulator?" "we're ALL victims here" "we did nothing wrong" "of course we care about kids"

I mean trot out any platitude you like. I get this is hard, but the facts are very damning here. Winning = a free pass.

You have mischaracterized what I've said.

No one has asked for a free pass.

It is fair to say that I feel terrible about failing my own child, the other rowers and especially the victims. I will live with it for the rest of my life.

Start by stopping your defense of the board.

Clearly some parents saw it, the others had their head up their a$$. Stop pretending it wasn’t for scholarships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am a Whitman rowing parent.

No one was circling any wagons.

The board parents are not toxic.

To the contrary, the board's leaders are hardworking, genuinely kind people who have dedicated themselves to the team because their children love rowing.

They've known some of the crew kids since elementary school.

None of the parents knew about Shipley's alleged abuse.

It's fair to argue that we were all blind. But it was not because of college ambitions for our kids.

It was because normal people cannot imagine the kind of behavior described in the charging documents unless there's evidence or a clear report of it.

That came to the team on Tuesday, Aug. 24, 2021, the day Shipley was arrested.

The former rowers who reported him to the police have shown extraordinary courage and resolve.

Everyone wants justice done.

Whitman rowing parent,

1. Were you not bothered by the persistent rumors of favoritism, boundary-crossing and negative atmosphere the coach fostered on the teams?
2. Had you heard that the coach was pursuing underage or barely-aged team members? If you did, was there a reason you decided not to believe them until the arrest?

Seriously pathetic that you are defending the parents. They chose winning and scholarships over a healthy environment.

I'm not defending anything.
I feel guilty every day about this.

But it's false to say that the team kept on an alleged predator--putting all our kids in danger-- because we wanted to win races and get into good colleges.

I'm sorry, but what is fair to say? "we were all duped by a master manipulator?" "we're ALL victims here" "we did nothing wrong" "of course we care about kids"

I mean trot out any platitude you like. I get this is hard, but the facts are very damning here. Winning = a free pass.

You have mischaracterized what I've said.

No one has asked for a free pass.

It is fair to say that I feel terrible about failing my own child, the other rowers and especially the victims. I will live with it for the rest of my life.



The 2018 ladies’ senior parents sounded the alarm wherever they could. The incoming board members knew about the toxic culture allegations as they were aired publicly at a meeting after the season was over. This was also reported to the Principal by more than one parent - but he was on his way to retirement and feigned this was not school business.

Some parents were interviewed by the HR consultant, and that report was with the board and should have been must watch TV (reading) for any incoming board members. If they chose not to dig into it, then that’s unfortunate they did not exercise due diligence. Only one rower was part of that interview process = again a failure by the board at the time to get a larger sampling of viewpoints.

Many parents of male rowers dismissed this all out of hand - at the time, and it seemed little had changed until the arrest. Some parents dismissed their daughters’ claims of inappropriate comments/language etc.

While the board could not arrest him, it certainly could have cancelled his contract and denied him access to three more years of rowers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am a Whitman rowing parent.

No one was circling any wagons.

The board parents are not toxic.

To the contrary, the board's leaders are hardworking, genuinely kind people who have dedicated themselves to the team because their children love rowing.

They've known some of the crew kids since elementary school.

None of the parents knew about Shipley's alleged abuse.

It's fair to argue that we were all blind. But it was not because of college ambitions for our kids.

It was because normal people cannot imagine the kind of behavior described in the charging documents unless there's evidence or a clear report of it.

That came to the team on Tuesday, Aug. 24, 2021, the day Shipley was arrested.

The former rowers who reported him to the police have shown extraordinary courage and resolve.

Everyone wants justice done.

Whitman rowing parent,

1. Were you not bothered by the persistent rumors of favoritism, boundary-crossing and negative atmosphere the coach fostered on the teams?
2. Had you heard that the coach was pursuing underage or barely-aged team members? If you did, was there a reason you decided not to believe them until the arrest?




The answer to your first question is that I didn't know about those issues until Shipley was suspended.

To your second question, I never heard those rumors.

Shipley was suspended in June, but you were fine with him being hired back for the next year even after knowing what the accusations were.

Rowing parent - what’s your take on this point? That’s one of the many things that blows my mind in this case. How does the board / parents justify rehiring this guy given the poor feedback he receive from the players? (Besides the allegations,etc)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good questions from PP. Whitman rowing parent, it appears that you did not read the Post article from today? It makes very clear that the board parents knew perfectly well that there were several years worth of allegations from multiple girls discussing the toxic team environment, favoritism, and verbal abuse from Shipley. Even the lam-o investigator confirmed this in both of her investigations. It sounds like the board and investigator also knew there were allegations of inappropriate sexual behavior as well, if not the horrifying facts that have now come to light. The article made clear that there were 4 board members who had been there for years; they absolutely knew what was going on and absolutely bear blame for allowing Shipley to continue to have access to all these kids.

You say it wasn’t about the parents’ college admissions dreams for their girls, but I find that very hard to believe. Why else did parents allow him to turn a one-season club sport into an almost year round one with a schedule more grueling than most college programs? I’m not blaming you or any parent other than the ones on the board who willfully turned a blind eye to Shipley’s many abuses for what happened to the sexual assault victims. But I don’t understand how parents (or school officials) allowed the girls to participate in this clearly bizarre cult-of-Shipley situation year after year.

I read the article, but I see it through a different lens than you do.

I recognize that you find it hard to believe what I'm saying about scholarships and winning.

But it's the truth.

I am completely willing to believe that you or any other random Whitman rowing parent not in the inner circle had no idea that Shipley was an emotional abuser or predator. But you are really out of line with your comments about the Board. The article makes clear that several of them knew perfectly well that this guy was creating a very toxic environment at the very minimum, and they clearly had zero interest in protecting the girls who got together to write the letter.

I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that he turned this club into an extraordinarily grueling year-long exercise of the sort most D1 coaches would find over the top, and no parents apparently said a peep about it other than the couple brave dissenters mentioned in the article.

Most HS programs in the area are set up the same way - fall, winter and spring seasons at a minimum- and those that don’t have summer programs encourage their rowers to do a club like TBC then. As the parent of a non-Whitman rower, who knows nothing about Shipley other than what I have read, some of what was used in the article to support the intense/toxic culture in our experience is normal of many rowing programs (another example of the point is that many programs would choose not to incur the expense of out of the area regattas unless they thought the boat would be competitive. Individual families have to come up with the expense of every one of those things ).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am a Whitman rowing parent.

No one was circling any wagons.

The board parents are not toxic.

To the contrary, the board's leaders are hardworking, genuinely kind people who have dedicated themselves to the team because their children love rowing.

They've known some of the crew kids since elementary school.

None of the parents knew about Shipley's alleged abuse.

It's fair to argue that we were all blind. But it was not because of college ambitions for our kids.

It was because normal people cannot imagine the kind of behavior described in the charging documents unless there's evidence or a clear report of it.

That came to the team on Tuesday, Aug. 24, 2021, the day Shipley was arrested.

The former rowers who reported him to the police have shown extraordinary courage and resolve.

Everyone wants justice done.

Whitman rowing parent,

1. Were you not bothered by the persistent rumors of favoritism, boundary-crossing and negative atmosphere the coach fostered on the teams?
2. Had you heard that the coach was pursuing underage or barely-aged team members? If you did, was there a reason you decided not to believe them until the arrest?

Seriously pathetic that you are defending the parents. They chose winning and scholarships over a healthy environment.

I'm not defending anything.
I feel guilty every day about this.

But it's false to say that the team kept on an alleged predator--putting all our kids in danger-- because we wanted to win races and get into good colleges.

I'm sorry, but what is fair to say? "we were all duped by a master manipulator?" "we're ALL victims here" "we did nothing wrong" "of course we care about kids"

I mean trot out any platitude you like. I get this is hard, but the facts are very damning here. Winning = a free pass.

You have mischaracterized what I've said.

No one has asked for a free pass.

It is fair to say that I feel terrible about failing my own child, the other rowers and especially the victims. I will live with it for the rest of my life.


To Whitman rower parent - can you explain why the parents were so loyal to Shipley if it wasn’t about college recruiting? I’m genuinely trying to understand your viewpoint. The article makes it sound like the team had a toxic culture. Maybe the article is exaggerating but it couldn’t have been all puppies and rainbows. We’re there no red flags?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good questions from PP. Whitman rowing parent, it appears that you did not read the Post article from today? It makes very clear that the board parents knew perfectly well that there were several years worth of allegations from multiple girls discussing the toxic team environment, favoritism, and verbal abuse from Shipley. Even the lam-o investigator confirmed this in both of her investigations. It sounds like the board and investigator also knew there were allegations of inappropriate sexual behavior as well, if not the horrifying facts that have now come to light. The article made clear that there were 4 board members who had been there for years; they absolutely knew what was going on and absolutely bear blame for allowing Shipley to continue to have access to all these kids.

You say it wasn’t about the parents’ college admissions dreams for their girls, but I find that very hard to believe. Why else did parents allow him to turn a one-season club sport into an almost year round one with a schedule more grueling than most college programs? I’m not blaming you or any parent other than the ones on the board who willfully turned a blind eye to Shipley’s many abuses for what happened to the sexual assault victims. But I don’t understand how parents (or school officials) allowed the girls to participate in this clearly bizarre cult-of-Shipley situation year after year.

Yes. This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am a Whitman rowing parent.

No one was circling any wagons.

The board parents are not toxic.

To the contrary, the board's leaders are hardworking, genuinely kind people who have dedicated themselves to the team because their children love rowing.

They've known some of the crew kids since elementary school.

None of the parents knew about Shipley's alleged abuse.

It's fair to argue that we were all blind. But it was not because of college ambitions for our kids.

It was because normal people cannot imagine the kind of behavior described in the charging documents unless there's evidence or a clear report of it.

That came to the team on Tuesday, Aug. 24, 2021, the day Shipley was arrested.

The former rowers who reported him to the police have shown extraordinary courage and resolve.

Everyone wants justice done.

Whitman rowing parent,

1. Were you not bothered by the persistent rumors of favoritism, boundary-crossing and negative atmosphere the coach fostered on the teams?
2. Had you heard that the coach was pursuing underage or barely-aged team members? If you did, was there a reason you decided not to believe them until the arrest?

Seriously pathetic that you are defending the parents. They chose winning and scholarships over a healthy environment.

I'm not defending anything.
I feel guilty every day about this.

But it's false to say that the team kept on an alleged predator--putting all our kids in danger-- because we wanted to win races and get into good colleges.

Then what was the reason?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good questions from PP. Whitman rowing parent, it appears that you did not read the Post article from today? It makes very clear that the board parents knew perfectly well that there were several years worth of allegations from multiple girls discussing the toxic team environment, favoritism, and verbal abuse from Shipley. Even the lam-o investigator confirmed this in both of her investigations. It sounds like the board and investigator also knew there were allegations of inappropriate sexual behavior as well, if not the horrifying facts that have now come to light. The article made clear that there were 4 board members who had been there for years; they absolutely knew what was going on and absolutely bear blame for allowing Shipley to continue to have access to all these kids.

You say it wasn’t about the parents’ college admissions dreams for their girls, but I find that very hard to believe. Why else did parents allow him to turn a one-season club sport into an almost year round one with a schedule more grueling than most college programs? I’m not blaming you or any parent other than the ones on the board who willfully turned a blind eye to Shipley’s many abuses for what happened to the sexual assault victims. But I don’t understand how parents (or school officials) allowed the girls to participate in this clearly bizarre cult-of-Shipley situation year after year.

I read the article, but I see it through a different lens than you do.

I recognize that you find it hard to believe what I'm saying about scholarships and winning.

But it's the truth.

I am completely willing to believe that you or any other random Whitman rowing parent not in the inner circle had no idea that Shipley was an emotional abuser or predator. But you are really out of line with your comments about the Board. The article makes clear that several of them knew perfectly well that this guy was creating a very toxic environment at the very minimum, and they clearly had zero interest in protecting the girls who got together to write the letter.

I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that he turned this club into an extraordinarily grueling year-long exercise of the sort most D1 coaches would find over the top, and no parents apparently said a peep about it other than the couple brave dissenters mentioned in the article.

I'm not out of line about in my comments about the board.
What I'm saying is the truth.
I'm sorry you find it so unsatisfying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please read the board letter to the crew team when they renewed his contract. Talk about willful blindness between the school admin, the board, the parents and the joke of an HR investigator these girls has no chance. They left them to fend for themselves with a child predator.

Yes. I'm a parent at a different Bethesda HS; this case is just horrifying. And the responsibility isn't just with the abuser himself - it's with the Whitman administration and the parents who turned a blind eye to what they explicitly understood was deeply problematic behavior by an adult entrusted with the supervision of young women. I'm totally disgusted.

[Anonymous]

Hey Whitman rowing parent: I believe you.

I believe this:

It was because normal people cannot imagine the kind of behavior described

A decade ago, I sent my ex-husband packing when I learned that he had carried on an affair of many years with another woman.

Five years.

I wasn't "willfully blind."

I was intentionally and deliberately misled.

I was deceived and lied to.

and because I am a decent-enough person -- and sure, a little naive, still -- I don't imagine the worst about people.

I believed my ex-husband was at work.

This coach... There is a reason we call them "predators." They are cunning. They have tried, true methods. They operate by stealth and are skilled at covering their tracks. The longer they evade detection, the more effective they become: Because there is nothing out of the ordinary. It's just how he is. How he has always been. It's normal.

They are master manipulators. That is how they operate. They are charming and charismatic and very skilled at identifying and exploiting others' vulnerabilities. And creating vulnerability -- the better to exploit you all with, my dear.

Whitman rowing parent, everyone loves to think that it wouldn't happen to them, that they would have been the wiser, would not have been so easily duped.

You know better. So do I.

You would never in a million years intentionally put your child in danger (for a scholarship?? Are people mad?)

You were deceived, you were manipulated, you were lied to. You were intentionally and deliberately misled.

You were blind, yes. And now that everything is out in the open -- well, of course it seems unfathomable that you couldn't see it before.

We have an astonishing ability to see things in ways that match up with our expectations. And I know how awful it feels to have missed such a danger, knowing he was hiding in plain sight, all along.

Focus on healing, now. Sending love to you and your community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please read the board letter to the crew team when they renewed his contract. Talk about willful blindness between the school admin, the board, the parents and the joke of an HR investigator these girls has no chance. They left them to fend for themselves with a child predator.

Yes. I'm a parent at a different Bethesda HS; this case is just horrifying. And the responsibility isn't just with the abuser himself - it's with the Whitman administration and the parents who turned a blind eye to what they explicitly understood was deeply problematic behavior by an adult entrusted with the supervision of young women. I'm totally disgusted.

+1 - there were red flags that went unaddressed by students, parents, athletics, and school administrators. This is not a Whitman exclusive problem. It’s an MCPS problem. So often, Athletic Directors and Principals try to protect the coach and cover up when students come forward. The MCPS Child Abuse and Neglect webpage has a long list of letters that went out to communities after arrests were made. Coaches should never be alone with athletes. Athletes should never be in a coach’s house.

MCPS would prevent the majority of child abuse if it would actively enforce the Code of Conduct. The priority should be to protect children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good questions from PP. Whitman rowing parent, it appears that you did not read the Post article from today? It makes very clear that the board parents knew perfectly well that there were several years worth of allegations from multiple girls discussing the toxic team environment, favoritism, and verbal abuse from Shipley. Even the lam-o investigator confirmed this in both of her investigations. It sounds like the board and investigator also knew there were allegations of inappropriate sexual behavior as well, if not the horrifying facts that have now come to light. The article made clear that there were 4 board members who had been there for years; they absolutely knew what was going on and absolutely bear blame for allowing Shipley to continue to have access to all these kids.

You say it wasn’t about the parents’ college admissions dreams for their girls, but I find that very hard to believe. Why else did parents allow him to turn a one-season club sport into an almost year round one with a schedule more grueling than most college programs? I’m not blaming you or any parent other than the ones on the board who willfully turned a blind eye to Shipley’s many abuses for what happened to the sexual assault victims. But I don’t understand how parents (or school officials) allowed the girls to participate in this clearly bizarre cult-of-Shipley situation year after year.

I read the article, but I see it through a different lens than you do.

I recognize that you find it hard to believe what I'm saying about scholarships and winning.

But it's the truth.

I am completely willing to believe that you or any other random Whitman rowing parent not in the inner circle had no idea that Shipley was an emotional abuser or predator. But you are really out of line with your comments about the Board. The article makes clear that several of them knew perfectly well that this guy was creating a very toxic environment at the very minimum, and they clearly had zero interest in protecting the girls who got together to write the letter.

I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that he turned this club into an extraordinarily grueling year-long exercise of the sort most D1 coaches would find over the top, and no parents apparently said a peep about it other than the couple brave dissenters mentioned in the article.

As a parent, no way I would have let my daughter participate knowing it.

These things happen as coaches and others know the parents aren't involved or don't care and its all about the parents wishes/needs.

I don't get where MCPS/principal was.