How young is too young for sex?

[Anonymous]

I need some advice on a very sensitive subject and I hope you will all understand I don't want to give a lot of details.

I know that a newly 13 year old girl is having sex with a 16 almost 17 year old.

I wish I didn't know this.

I know that her parents have no idea.

I am very close with her mother.

I know they would not be supportive.

As it stands I want to tell them immediately. I would want to know as a parent.

If she were 16 I would MMOB.

I am mostly worried about pregnancy or STDs because I don't think she would have open access to things that will prevent them.

Because it will be asked neither are my children.

[Anonymous]

How do you know? Via your kids? 13 is young. Find out via your source if they have access to contraception.

[Anonymous]

I would want to know if it were my dd.

[Anonymous]

My daughters are 9, 12 and 20. I (only semi-jokingly) told my oldest she could have sex once she got to college.

I would want you to tell me. No 13 yr old is mature enough to be having sex.

[Anonymous]

Is it even ethical to approach a 13yo child that is not your own and say I know you are having sex do you need me to take you to get birth control or do you need condoms?

[Anonymous]

too young tell the parents

if this were a year from now the boy would be months away from committing statutory rape.

3+ years is a HUGE difference at that age. The parents need to know.

[Anonymous]

13 is way too young. I don't know how you found this out, or your relationship with the girl, but I think I would find a way to tell her mom.

I am a nanny to 4 children, 2 of which are 13 year olds (boy & girl) and if I suspected anything like that was going on with either of them I would definitely inform the parents so they could handle it how they wished.

[Anonymous]

I'm generally in the myob camp but no sir, not in this instance. You must tell her parents.

[Anonymous]

^ thank you

I know it is the right thing. Been sitting here for a few hours just kind of numb. Not sure of the right thing to do even though I know in my heart its right and I would want to know.

I am kind of traditional and sort of a goody goody and sometimes my views are far too conservative here on DCUM so I thought I would ask. I really really don't want to do something irreparable in this girls life if this is not the big deal I feel it is.

[Anonymous]

You need to tell. In a year this will be statutory rape, it might be already, actually. There needs to be an intervention

[Anonymous]

Would go to the mom in a heartbeat. There is no reason to protect the privacy of a 13 year old having sex. If you were mistaken, so be it. Better to say something than keep quiet.

[Anonymous]

I had sex for the first time when I was on the older side of 14. It probably wasn't old enough, but I'm still glad it was my own experience and that nobody else was involved, i.e., no parents told (and I say this as an almost 40 year old responsible professional adult). But even if it was okay for me, I don't know of many others then or since for whom it would have been. All of this is to say, 13 is too young. Without knowing more though, I don't know the best course of action. I would definitely try to get closer to it to figure out how to help.

[Anonymous]

How close are you to both her parents? Is there any chance of severe punishment, namely abuse? But that's how it went down in my neighborhood growing up, when parents found out a girl was having sex. Dads usually beat the crap out of them. If you don't think that's a likelihood, tell. If you do, approach the girl if you can. Or a school counselor.

[Anonymous]

I have a 13 year old. Tell the parents.

[Anonymous]

Definitely tell. I'm a nanny and yesterday I worked for a family I don't see often but worked for a few year ago. The kids are 7 yr old twins, 11.5 yr old boy and 16yr old boy. 16yr old had a friend over for a while and when the friend left he left too. He's 16 and I wasn't given any restrictions for him so I didn't think anything of it (and frankly didn't realize he had left vs being in his room.) a while later the dad called and asked if he was home and I checked and said no. He said the friends mom had called with some concerns regarding what he told his friend he was going to be doing. Dad called them some dumb ass choices but didn't elaborate. A while later mom, a nurse, called from work and explained more of what was happening and asked me to collect all prescription meds from both medicine cabinets and hide them under her bed so I did and the 16 yr old came home a few min later. All of this to say they were very appreciative of the friend who was concerned enough to tell his mom and the mom who was concerned enough to call the dad even though he was at a wedding 4 hrs away. I was glad I was there to help.