Friend bringing kids and dogs on our girls weekend trip

[Anonymous]

I would be more upset that she texted this to you and didn't call and talk this through. That's really rude. I get that she's in a tough spot but she should have called, presented all of the options that others have presented here and leave the decision up to you. If you decide to tell her that you are going alone, bringing someone else, etc, you shouldn't feel bad about it as she was rude to just tell you what the new plans are over text.

I also agree that if you don't suck it up and do this, you will likely lose/damage this friendship. So, make your decision with that in mind.

But do not share a room. She needs to figure it out but that would be completely out of line.

[Anonymous]

You are both weird. You don't like her enough to go with her and her kids. She is a single mother with fairly young kids and that would have been on my mind the whole time with a back-up plan.
She is too broke to have a dog and you can't afford to help her with any expenses. You can probably barely afford going yourself.
You two have no business going anywhere unless you'll be tending bar at the beach.

[Anonymous]

Can the dog be boarded or someone come to your friend's house to watch the dog? I would offer to pay the difference after $150 since that is the pet fee for the rental.

With the kids they stay in mom's room. You get your own room.

Tell your friend that you will be doing a few things solo throughout the day and you two can catch up later in the evening after the kids are asleep.

Never plan another vacation with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I believe it was her sister who was supposed to sit for the kids and dog, and I don’t think she pays her. I don’t think she has or knows else to watch them.

I do like the air mattress idea. But the vibe of this getaway will completely change. When kids are involved, everything revolves around their needs, which was the intent of a “getaway” to begin with.

There is a no way you're a parent if you think someone just finds a "sitter" for 4 days over a holiday weekend. Most everyone else has their own plans then. Hiring someone for 4 day should be insanely expensive and it sounds like there are financial issues. You should have been more concerned about her child care plan if you wanted to pull this off. Sounds like this was not a very well thought out plan.

[Anonymous]

Op, take your kids along, too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grow up. There is no such thing as a girls trip when people have children.

LMAO. I’ve gone on several trips with other moms. It’s called a husband, grandparents, babysitter, etc., to watch the kids. Sorry if you’ve isolated yourself and deluded yourself to the point where you don’t think other moms have freedom, but we do.

And you all are desperate wannabe cougars who will be divorcees.

Sad when you want to bring other women down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, take your kids along, too!

Can you read? It’s a two-bedroom house. That means it’s not very big.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grow up. There is no such thing as a girls trip when people have children.

LMAO. I’ve gone on several trips with other moms. It’s called a husband, grandparents, babysitter, etc., to watch the kids. Sorry if you’ve isolated yourself and deluded yourself to the point where you don’t think other moms have freedom, but we do.

Not going on trips means no freedom? Sorry you’ve isolated and deluded yourself to the point where you don’t think other moms don’t have freedom, but we do.

I feel really bad for you if you never go on a girls’ trip. I guess you’re one of those moms who has no friends and has no idea what to do with herself when her kids leave the nest. Are you also divorced?

I really feel bad for you if you need to go on girls’ trips to be happy. Not divorced, but you will be.

No, I won’t. I don’t know what you are missing: friends, money, a good husband, a network of friends and family, or an identity of your own outside of motherhood, but if you are never going on girls’ trips, you are missing at least one of those things. It sounds to me like you have no friends and no identity outside of motherhood. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Wow. Is this now the usual relationship between old, close friends? These posts make me so sad. The normal response should be something like... "oh no, i'm so sorry you're stuck with bringing the kids and dog. don't worry, we can still have lots of fun. i'll bring a few more bottles of wine and grab some of the good tequila at liquor store. do you have any air mattresses? if not, i can bring mine. the kids can sleep in the living room. have your kids ever played taco/goat/cheese/pizza? i'll bring a set!"

Yes, it is frustrating and disappointing. But you should make the best of it in support of your good, close friend. Because that is what good, close friends do for one another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, take your kids along, too!

Can you read? It’s a two-bedroom house. That means it’s not very big.

We can tell OP doesn't have kids or none of this would have been a surprise. So she either sucks it up and goes or finds someone else and cancels on her "friend."

[Anonymous]

Okay, so I would ask her to find an alternative for the dog. Depending on where it is, dogs won’t even be allowed on the beach by Memorial Day, so this dog is going to be cooped up in the house. Memorial Day is 6 weeks away, she has enough time to post on some neighborhood Facebook pages for dog coverage.

Since she has to arrange dog coverage, maybe you offer to pay for a babysitter one night at the beach. That way you and she can go out and really enjoy a semblance of “girls weekend”. Being a single mom on a budget is really tough and it sounds like she’s trying to juggle a lot. Give her a little grace, but also, set a few boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A long time friend and I have a beach rental reserved for 4 days over Memorial Day weekend. We planned this a few months back and I’ve been looking forward to it. She is a single mom - this rental price was a stretch for her but she really wanted this getaway and agreed to it. She has already paid me for her half. It is non refundable.

I get a text today and she says she has no sitter for the kids that weekend and will be bringing them along. Plus this sitter who backed out would’ve been watching the dog and now the dog has to come with too.

This is a smaller beach house but it will sleep 4. There are two bedrooms with two double beds and the house accepts pets but with a $150 fee (I think she will gasp at that price) Only one bathroom.

This changes everything about this trip. What was a girls getaway is now a family trip. We would’ve had our own rooms and now I will be sharing a double bed with her.

I don’t even know what to do. I haven’t text her back yet. Do we split this 4 ways now? I don’t even want to go anymore, I’m so mad.

This is not something that should be communicated or negotiated over text. She should’ve have said that her babysitting plans fell through and that she’d like to talk by phone. But she didn’t. Now it’s up to you to take this offline. Text her back:

This is a big change that we should talk over. What are some good times when you’re able to speak without distractions so that we can figure this out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Is this now the usual relationship between old, close friends? These posts make me so sad. The normal response should be something like... "oh no, i'm so sorry you're stuck with bringing the kids and dog. don't worry, we can still have lots of fun. i'll bring a few more bottles of wine and grab some of the good tequila at liquor store. do you have any air mattresses? if not, i can bring mine. the kids can sleep in the living room. have your kids ever played taco/goat/cheese/pizza? i'll bring a set!"

Yes, it is frustrating and disappointing. But you should make the best of it in support of your good, close friend. Because that is what good, close friends do for one another.

Why should OP pay for something that was not the plan? That’s a totally different weekend and tequila cannot salvage that situation. And the friend was just rude presenting this as a fait accompli rather than a request to discuss. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ahhh this is hard. I feel sorry for your single friend of course, but if I were in her situation I wouldn’t just say “I have to bring my kids and dog now” I would say “I’m so sorry, I know this changes the trip. We could still come and I can share a room with my kids or I can back out, what do you think is best for you?”

But the fact that she changed and told you instead of asking you tells me a lot of how the trip will go.

I would say that you need a kid free weekend and you can either buy her out of the rental or she could buy YOU out of the rental, but no I wouldn’t go with her kids and dog. I love kids (I’m a teacher) and I still don’t want to vacation with someone else’s kids when I wasn’t planning to.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A long time friend and I have a beach rental reserved for 4 days over Memorial Day weekend. We planned this a few months back and I’ve been looking forward to it. She is a single mom - this rental price was a stretch for her but she really wanted this getaway and agreed to it. She has already paid me for her half. It is non refundable.

I get a text today and she says she has no sitter for the kids that weekend and will be bringing them along. Plus this sitter who backed out would’ve been watching the dog and now the dog has to come with too.

This is a smaller beach house but it will sleep 4. There are two bedrooms with two double beds and the house accepts pets but with a $150 fee (I think she will gasp at that price) Only one bathroom.

This changes everything about this trip. What was a girls getaway is now a family trip. We would’ve had our own rooms and now I will be sharing a double bed with her.

I don’t even know what to do. I haven’t text her back yet. Do we split this 4 ways now? I don’t even want to go anymore, I’m so mad.

This is not something that should be communicated or negotiated over text. She should’ve have said that her babysitting plans fell through and that she’d like to talk by phone. But she didn’t. Now it’s up to you to take this offline. Text her back:

This is a big change that we should talk over. What are some good times when you’re able to speak without distractions so that we can figure this out?

"Speak without distractions" who are you people? She has 2 kids and a dog. Just call her yourself or ask her to call you. Guaranteed a dog will be barking in the background and kids asking for stuff.