S/O Why do you care if moms stay home?

[Anonymous]

Oh older men love to tell young women that they are making the right choice to stay home.
I worked for the first 2 years, and then our situation changed and mostly it was the older generation that felt the need to chime in about it.
“You are doing the right or best thing” yada yada.
I always chalk that up to old people not having much of a filter combined with some antiquated ideas.
On the flip side I heard a mix from my peers. Most of my working friends were like, “ good for you” but also “ man I’m not sure I could do it. My kid would drive me crazy”
Also the occasional “ what do you do all day?”
If someone asks me what I do all day, they better hold onto their gertle Mertle, because I’m gonna go into excruciatingly boring detail. I will spare them nothing.
They asked, so they can sat right down and listen to every mundane detail. Nothing more boring than hearing about other people’s kids, but those aholes asked for it.
“Let’s start with wake up time and going over our breakfast choices! Some days it’s toast, but I do like to mix it up. If I did shopping the day before we might have some different yogurts. Or maybe I’m really feeling upbeat and we scramble some eggs!”
I can really drag it out. I really enjoy the glazed look in someone’e eyes as watch them slowly die inside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:You do realize that "Why go to college if you aren't going to use your degree?" is the compliment to "Why have children if you aren't going to raise them?"

+100000. Perfectly put.

+100001. Love that!

Can someone just be responsible for reposting this every time one of these wars comes up?

Classy SAHMs.

But to be honest if you worked it isn’t like you would be donating the money to the underprivileged, so doesn’t make much difference other then open a slot for a man from OState.

So you’re classist, too! Nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize that "Why go to college if you aren't going to use your degree?" is the compliment to "Why have children if you aren't going to raise them?"

+100000. Perfectly put.

+100001. Love that!

Can someone just be responsible for reposting this every time one of these wars comes up?

Classy SAHMs.

But to be honest if you worked it isn’t like you would be donating the money to the underprivileged, so doesn’t make much difference other then open a slot for a man from OState.

Nice. And you wonder why people think WOHMs are sanctimonious aholes.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I actually don't care what people do. I just care how they talk about it. And I've found a lot of SAHMs talk about staying home as if I'm all but dooming my kids to prison by being a working mom.

"Do they even know you?"
"Do you die inside when they cry for the nanny instead of you?"
"You'll never get this time back."

What a bunch of jerks!

LOL, PP, there is no way this is true. I SAH, have plenty of SAH friends, and live in a community of mostly WOHMs. No SAHM I have ever had a conversation with (even just us 2) has said anything disparaging about WOHMs or what it "does to their kids." We realize we are all doing our best and what's best for everyone is different in almost every way.

I think that PP is lying too but during my SAHM days I remember a few SAHMs who were very disparaging of WOHMs and worse, their kids. It definitely happens. But it's rare. I remember it because it was unusual (and mean).

You have really never heard these things? I have. Not all by SAHMs though. I will add a few more that people have said to me in real life, not lying:
“Do you really just LEAVE your baby in daycare the whole time you are at work?”
“It’s too bad that your husband doesn’t make enough money for you to SAH.”
“Things were better when mothers just stayed at home with their children. Now it’s impossible to figure out custody because no one is really raising the children.”
“Wow. It must be very traumatic for your children when you have to work overnight. How do you deal with that?”
“I always feel sorry for children whose mothers leave them all day to go to work.”

Where do you live? Those quotes seem totally unbelievable to me. The worst I ever heard was subtle approval of my decision to stay at home from very close family members. I felt like if I changed my mind they might not think it was best. But it was subtle.

Sounds like you know a lot of incredibly insecure and passive aggressive women.

Most of these actually came from men. I’m surprised that you have never heard this stuff before.

DP who is WOHM. Oh I've definitely heard these from men over the years. But these are from men that are so checked out of their own families that it's obvious they are lashing out because they're so miserable and angry all the time. Comments from men like this are validation, not insults, because my God their poor kids and wife.

I don't hear them from women, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize that "Why go to college if you aren't going to use your degree?" is the compliment to "Why have children if you aren't going to raise them?"

+100000. Perfectly put.

+100001. Love that!

Can someone just be responsible for reposting this every time one of these wars comes up?

Classy SAHMs.

But to be honest if you worked it isn’t like you would be donating the money to the underprivileged, so doesn’t make much difference other then open a slot for a man from OState.

I’m not a SAHM. I just think these particular, predictable arguments on both sides are silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have done both and currently work. Snide comments come from WOHMs for sure. Never heard a SAHM say anything. WOHMs make comments. “Why did they plan x event? Some of us WORK.” Etc

Yeah, I agree with this person. I work full time, but respect sahm a lot. Taking care of kids all day is hard work. Plus, kids should be cared for by someone who LOVES them when they are little. Daycare workers don’t love the kids they watch, and they shouldn’t. Kids deserve to have a family member raising them when they are little, not a stranger in an institution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have done both and currently work. Snide comments come from WOHMs for sure. Never heard a SAHM say anything. WOHMs make comments. “Why did they plan x event? Some of us WORK.” Etc

Yeah, I agree with this person. I work full time, but respect sahm a lot. Taking care of kids all day is hard work. Plus, kids should be cared for by someone who LOVES them when they are little. Daycare workers don’t love the kids they watch, and they shouldn’t. Kids deserve to have a family member raising them when they are little, not a stranger in an institution.

Oh come on. I have been both SAHM and WOHM and I can assure you that there as many petty and nasty SAHMs saying stuff about WOHMs as there are petty and nasty WOHMs. This whole poor innocent SAHM routine on DCUM is just stupid.

Fortunately the nasty and mean ones of either group are a very small minority. And you just have to pity them.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I care when women go to college and don't use their degrees. They got into a school and took away from a student who may have really wanted to go there.

Ok troll, you're taking up electricity with your misogynist posts that someone else could be using right now.

So true. The ignorance is astounding.

I’m a new poster and I totally agree with pp. The number of women that I know with fancy law degrees that they don’t use - and never really planned to use - is just gross. There are many people - most of them from lower socioeconomic backgrounds than these women - who could’ve made something professionally of themselves with these degrees. One example is a mother to elementary school age kids that literally makes puffy paint decor for camp bunks. That she sells online. Good thing your parents spent 200 K on law school!

What an idiotic premise. Do you actually think someone got shafted from law school because another woman (or man???) "took their place"? Give us all a break. How many people with law degrees ultimately do something totally different professionally? Or any degree, for that matter? I know the field I went into had nothing to do with my actual degree. And now I SAH - but guess what? Life is long and at some point, I'll be using my college degree and/or prior experience to return to work. Amazing, right? And your friend who makes "puffy paint décor"?? What a weird anecdote to trot out. As if this one woman exemplifies all others who take time off from work to SAH. Please, grow up and get a clue.

I work with underprivileged girls. If you don’t see how going to a fancy school that could be life-changing for them and then staying home is incredibly selfish and reeks of privilege, then I can’t help you. But might as well step on them on your way up, right?

You are certifiably insane.

Don’t expect you to see anything beyond your tiny world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like how people are angry at women who don't want to buy into the toxic law environment and not at the men who perpetuate it. Get a clue.

The women who quit do a ton to make it better, though! Oh no wait they just perpetuate stereotypes of lazy women and make it harder for the next one who comes along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have done both and currently work. Snide comments come from WOHMs for sure. Never heard a SAHM say anything. WOHMs make comments. “Why did they plan x event? Some of us WORK.” Etc

Yeah, I agree with this person. I work full time, but respect sahm a lot. Taking care of kids all day is hard work. Plus, kids should be cared for by someone who LOVES them when they are little. Daycare workers don’t love the kids they watch, and they shouldn’t. Kids deserve to have a family member raising them when they are little, not a stranger in an institution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like how people are angry at women who don't want to buy into the toxic law environment and not at the men who perpetuate it. Get a clue.

The women who quit do a ton to make it better, though! Oh no wait they just perpetuate stereotypes of lazy women and make it harder for the next one who comes along.

Wait, are you really saying that people who take care of children are lazy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like how people are angry at women who don't want to buy into the toxic law environment and not at the men who perpetuate it. Get a clue.

The women who quit do a ton to make it better, though! Oh no wait they just perpetuate stereotypes of lazy women and make it harder for the next one who comes along.

I can guarantee you that my former partners do not think I am lazy. They have asked me to come back several times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I care when women go to college and don't use their degrees. They got into a school and took away from a student who may have really wanted to go there.

Ok troll, you're taking up electricity with your misogynist posts that someone else could be using right now.

So true. The ignorance is astounding.

I’m a new poster and I totally agree with pp. The number of women that I know with fancy law degrees that they don’t use - and never really planned to use - is just gross. There are many people - most of them from lower socioeconomic backgrounds than these women - who could’ve made something professionally of themselves with these degrees. One example is a mother to elementary school age kids that literally makes puffy paint decor for camp bunks. That she sells online. Good thing your parents spent 200 K on law school!

What an idiotic premise. Do you actually think someone got shafted from law school because another woman (or man???) "took their place"? Give us all a break. How many people with law degrees ultimately do something totally different professionally? Or any degree, for that matter? I know the field I went into had nothing to do with my actual degree. And now I SAH - but guess what? Life is long and at some point, I'll be using my college degree and/or prior experience to return to work. Amazing, right? And your friend who makes "puffy paint décor"?? What a weird anecdote to trot out. As if this one woman exemplifies all others who take time off from work to SAH. Please, grow up and get a clue.

I work with underprivileged girls. If you don’t see how going to a fancy school that could be life-changing for them and then staying home is incredibly selfish and reeks of privilege, then I can’t help you. But might as well step on them on your way up, right?

There's not a lot to do about posters like you except have a good laugh. Wow... what a twit.

And btw, how are *you* personally helping these underprivileged girls go to "fancy schools"? Are you securing scholarships for them or paying their tuition out of your own pocket?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I care when women go to college and don't use their degrees. They got into a school and took away from a student who may have really wanted to go there.

Ok troll, you're taking up electricity with your misogynist posts that someone else could be using right now.

So true. The ignorance is astounding.

I’m a new poster and I totally agree with pp. The number of women that I know with fancy law degrees that they don’t use - and never really planned to use - is just gross. There are many people - most of them from lower socioeconomic backgrounds than these women - who could’ve made something professionally of themselves with these degrees. One example is a mother to elementary school age kids that literally makes puffy paint decor for camp bunks. That she sells online. Good thing your parents spent 200 K on law school!

What an idiotic premise. Do you actually think someone got shafted from law school because another woman (or man???) "took their place"? Give us all a break. How many people with law degrees ultimately do something totally different professionally? Or any degree, for that matter? I know the field I went into had nothing to do with my actual degree. And now I SAH - but guess what? Life is long and at some point, I'll be using my college degree and/or prior experience to return to work. Amazing, right? And your friend who makes "puffy paint décor"?? What a weird anecdote to trot out. As if this one woman exemplifies all others who take time off from work to SAH. Please, grow up and get a clue.

I work with underprivileged girls. If you don’t see how going to a fancy school that could be life-changing for them and then staying home is incredibly selfish and reeks of privilege, then I can’t help you. But might as well step on them on your way up, right?

https://www.google.com/search?q=find+a+therapist+washington+dc&oq=find+a+therapist+washin&aqs=chrome.0.0j69i57j0.19587j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

Best advice yet. There are truly some women posting here with so much baggage and resentment, they need serious professional help. PPP, I'm talking about you, specifically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I care when women go to college and don't use their degrees. They got into a school and took away from a student who may have really wanted to go there.

Ok troll, you're taking up electricity with your misogynist posts that someone else could be using right now.

So true. The ignorance is astounding.

I’m a new poster and I totally agree with pp. The number of women that I know with fancy law degrees that they don’t use - and never really planned to use - is just gross. There are many people - most of them from lower socioeconomic backgrounds than these women - who could’ve made something professionally of themselves with these degrees. One example is a mother to elementary school age kids that literally makes puffy paint decor for camp bunks. That she sells online. Good thing your parents spent 200 K on law school!

What an idiotic premise. Do you actually think someone got shafted from law school because another woman (or man???) "took their place"? Give us all a break. How many people with law degrees ultimately do something totally different professionally? Or any degree, for that matter? I know the field I went into had nothing to do with my actual degree. And now I SAH - but guess what? Life is long and at some point, I'll be using my college degree and/or prior experience to return to work. Amazing, right? And your friend who makes "puffy paint décor"?? What a weird anecdote to trot out. As if this one woman exemplifies all others who take time off from work to SAH. Please, grow up and get a clue.

I work with underprivileged girls. If you don’t see how going to a fancy school that could be life-changing for them and then staying home is incredibly selfish and reeks of privilege, then I can’t help you. But might as well step on them on your way up, right?

It was life changing for me. I practiced for a long time. Now I stay home. The school I attended gave me a full ride and I had the highest LSAT score in my 300 person class. I don’t feel selfish at all for staying home. Totally ridiculous.

Amen to that.