Oyster-Adam teacher arrested

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

seems to be some people's way of trying to flame the fire because they take pleasure in the idea of wanting a like able person being taken down, want a reason to criticize the school, are just bored and in need of gossip.

As a parent who had a child in the offender's class-- in fact in the class when he was committing the offense to which he confessed-- I suggest that until you've had your child ask you "how do I know who I'm supposed to trust anymore" you stop ascribing petty, middle school behavior to another parent who has had to answer that question. I would love the luxury of being bored instead of worried sick that my child witnessed something and is suppressing it. I would love for this to be abstract enough that I could consider this person "likable." This is someone who was in contact with my child daily for ten months, during which he was sexually abusing a child in the same room.

This school is our community. It is where my child has grown from ages 5-11, where we've made friends, where we've seen wonderful children develop and learn and be blessed with mostly phenomenal teachers, and where I sincerely hoped my child would not have to learn that sometimes trusted adults do despicable things to little kids. The school has handled this pretty well other than the initial failure to communicate, and the teachers did a great job in particular of moving forward in quite unfamiliar territory knowing both students and parents were in shock. Calling this criminal what he is does not equal criticizing the school. However, because of what this awful person did, the school is the scene of the worst thing that has happened to anyone my child knows. That can't change. He did that.

I can't get my head around the idea that anyone who has confessed to touching students in his own classroom and sending pictures to a 10-year-old is "likable" by any definition, or that anyone behind bars for child sexual abuse could be "brought down." There's not a whole lot of real estate below where he is.

Let's all pray together that there are no more victims. Unfortunately that is unlikely. Fortunately he'll never be able to hurt another student.

Well said. Thank you. It seems the poster you responded to, may be battling his own demons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PS. I am the former prosecutor who posted upthread. I have literally never seen a child sexual assault case where the perpetrator had NEVER had another victim. Even young defendants had often assaulted siblings, cousins, etc., before the victim in the case at issue. There's a lot of evil in the world, so I'm sure there are adults who start offending late in life and get caught the first time...but they are rare. Ratre enough that if you want to protect children, you shouldn't give the benefit of the doubt of "one time thing."

You're a FORMER prosecutor (you claim) but have such limited reading ability? That was presented as one option. The truth is that until Pena confesses more, or others come forward, we will never know.

The bottom line is that this possibility of years of child molestation and victims spanning decades is just conjecture and seems to be some people's way of trying to flame the fire because they take pleasure in the idea of wanting a like able person being taken down, want a reason to criticize the school, are just bored and in need of gossip.

At this time families should focus on healing/protecting their own families and being more vigilant instead of blaming the school and worrying about how the media addresses the issue.

I'm sorry, but where is anyone "blaming" the school? By the same token, how exactly do you think families should be more vigilant? They can certainly not agree to allow their child to be alone with creepy teachers outside of school, but that's about it. Families don't have the power to fire teachers who wave red flags, do they?

[Anonymous]

16:40 thanks for your post. I'm a bit disgusted by our moderator who seems to chime in to identify that it's only "one or two…"or whatever on this thread and others. I have sat back on the OA pedophile because if this spyware attitude, but let me tell you parents that are upset should not feel monitored about their feelings!!! That's the whole point of DCUM, or used to be. NO ONE EVER SAID THIS COULD BE PREVENTED, JEFF STEELE. You, the moderator who should be once removed, is busy deciding if some parents' feelings are valid or not. There are valid reasons the former principal and her notoriously crappy team might be partially blamed not for this specific nightmare, for perpetuating year after year of unhealthy teacher-student line crossing. I wrote about a music teacher who scared the crap out of 4th graders more than 5 years ago. Maybe this pedo would have slipped by everyone, I had a child there in his grade, but based on experience if I or another parent might have complained about this guy's overt friendliness it probably would have been dismissed, just like the scary music teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

seems to be some people's way of trying to flame the fire because they take pleasure in the idea of wanting a like able person being taken down, want a reason to criticize the school, are just bored and in need of gossip.

As a parent who had a child in the offender's class-- in fact in the class when he was committing the offense to which he confessed-- I suggest that until you've had your child ask you "how do I know who I'm supposed to trust anymore" you stop ascribing petty, middle school behavior to another parent who has had to answer that question. I would love the luxury of being bored instead of worried sick that my child witnessed something and is suppressing it. I would love for this to be abstract enough that I could consider this person "likable." This is someone who was in contact with my child daily for ten months, during which he was sexually abusing a child in the same room.

This school is our community. It is where my child has grown from ages 5-11, where we've made friends, where we've seen wonderful children develop and learn and be blessed with mostly phenomenal teachers, and where I sincerely hoped my child would not have to learn that sometimes trusted adults do despicable things to little kids. The school has handled this pretty well other than the initial failure to communicate, and the teachers did a great job in particular of moving forward in quite unfamiliar territory knowing both students and parents were in shock. Calling this criminal what he is does not equal criticizing the school. However, because of what this awful person did, the school is the scene of the worst thing that has happened to anyone my child knows. That can't change. He did that.

I can't get my head around the idea that anyone who has confessed to touching students in his own classroom and sending pictures to a 10-year-old is "likable" by any definition, or that anyone behind bars for child sexual abuse could be "brought down." There's not a whole lot of real estate below where he is.

Let's all pray together that there are no more victims. Unfortunately that is unlikely. Fortunately he'll never be able to hurt another student.

While not downplaying this at all. I was your child. I was in a classroom in the 1980s with a sexual predator. This one actually preyed on little girls. We were all subject to pats, touches and the extra hug that went way too far. We were all subject to the girl who got the extra "attention" and the confusion as to what is going on. Someone spoke up and it ended sadly not the way it ended here but with him quietly quitting (this was a private school).

First, I hope that what how you speak here is NOT how you are speaking to your child. Your role is to reassure them about who to trust. Come on, 99.99999% of people in your child's world don't want to molest your child. You need to tell them this was an isolated incident and while horrible it doesn't happen very often. You do not treat your child like they may be suppressing memories (that isn't how it works, I hope you know that). You carry on. You show your child that this rarely happens and your child needs to know that they will always speak up.

I have the luxury of watching this play out for 30 years. My 4 grade class (which was also my class for all of 1st-8th grades) still has reunions. The girl abused the most has been ok. Not great but doing much better in her older years. The kids with the freak out parents especially about trust, whose parents needed to think this was life changing (lots of therapy) are not as good. Many divorced and/or remarried. Lots of drinking. The few of us whose parents said basically "shit happens but nothing as big will ever happen to you again," are better. Divorces of course but better adjusted and happier in general. My parents were good about this probably because I was the 4th out of 5 kids and in those days you really don't talk about thugs so in depth.

Basically, I am telling you to relax. Let your child guide you. The boys in our class had ZERO idea any of this was going on and most of the children in this class probably didn't either. Yes, this shit will ruin a child.....but not your child so don't let it.

I will tell you that the beauty of Facebook is the that I know how this plays out. The guy married s girl two years behind me at the school. I don't know if she was subject to his abuse but it is super gross and yes snhuge topic of conversations for our reunions.

[Anonymous]

I'm the parent from 16:40. I know you meant well so thank you, but I assure you I don't speak to my child as I do on DCUM.

Give a person a little credit.

Sorry for what happened in your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, as I am processing this horrible event as a parent of a child in his class, my simple Wikipedia search of "child grooming" rings eerily familiar. So, so sad. (I don't know if he has done this before, my intuition say's no, but I can't deny the definition below knowing some of the true facts).

Child Grooming
This is done to gain the child's trust as well as the trust of those responsible for the child's well-being. Additionally, a trusting relationship with the family means the child's parents are less likely to believe potential accusations.

In the case of sexual grooming, child pornography images are often shown to the child as part of the grooming process.

To establish a good relationship with the child and the child's family, child groomers might do several things. For example, they might take an undue interest in someone else’s child, to be the child's "special" friend to gain the child's trust. They might give gifts or money to the child for no apparent reason. They may show pornography—videos or pictures—to the child, hoping to make it easy for the child to accept such acts, thus normalizing the behavior. They may simply talk about sexual topics. These are just some of the methods a child groomer might use to gain a child's trust and affection to allow them to do what they want. Hugging and kissing or other physical contact, even when the child does not want it, can happen. To the groomer, this is a way to get close. They might talk about problems normally discussed between adults, or at least people of the same age. Topics might include marital problems and other conflicts. They may try to gain the child’s parents’ trust by befriending them, with the goal of easy access to the child. The child groomer might look for opportunities to have time alone with the child. This can be done by offering to babysit. The groomer may invite the child for sleepovers. This gives them the opportunity to sleep in the same room or even the same bed with the child.

Actions such as online communication have been defended by suspected offenders using the so-called 'fantasy defense', in which those accused argue that they were only expressing fantasies and not plans of future behavior. In the U.S., case law draws a distinction between those two and some people accused of 'grooming' have successfully used this defense.

Thank you for posting this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:16:40 thanks for your post. I'm a bit disgusted by our moderator who seems to chime in to identify that it's only "one or two…"or whatever on this thread and others. I have sat back on the OA pedophile because if this spyware attitude, but let me tell you parents that are upset should not feel monitored about their feelings!!! That's the whole point of DCUM, or used to be. NO ONE EVER SAID THIS COULD BE PREVENTED, JEFF STEELE. You, the moderator who should be once removed, is busy deciding if some parents' feelings are valid or not. There are valid reasons the former principal and her notoriously crappy team might be partially blamed not for this specific nightmare, for perpetuating year after year of unhealthy teacher-student line crossing. I wrote about a music teacher who scared the crap out of 4th graders more than 5 years ago. Maybe this pedo would have slipped by everyone, I had a child there in his grade, but based on experience if I or another parent might have complained about this guy's overt friendliness it probably would have been dismissed, just like the scary music teacher.

+ 1

We went to the principal and vice with some real concerns and were very much dismissed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:16:40 thanks for your post. I'm a bit disgusted by our moderator who seems to chime in to identify that it's only "one or two…"or whatever on this thread and others. I have sat back on the OA pedophile because if this spyware attitude, but let me tell you parents that are upset should not feel monitored about their feelings!!! That's the whole point of DCUM, or used to be. NO ONE EVER SAID THIS COULD BE PREVENTED, JEFF STEELE. You, the moderator who should be once removed, is busy deciding if some parents' feelings are valid or not. There are valid reasons the former principal and her notoriously crappy team might be partially blamed not for this specific nightmare, for perpetuating year after year of unhealthy teacher-student line crossing. I wrote about a music teacher who scared the crap out of 4th graders more than 5 years ago. Maybe this pedo would have slipped by everyone, I had a child there in his grade, but based on experience if I or another parent might have complained about this guy's overt friendliness it probably would have been dismissed, just like the scary music teacher.

+ 1

We went to the principal and vice with some real concerns and were very much dismissed.

Do you went to the principal with concerns about Mr Pena and you were dismissed. When did you go? Recently?

[Anonymous]

Not the PP above who said s/he went to principal with concerns but we complained to vice principal that Pena was all socializing, no teaching and gave concrete examples of his blowing off academics for play time and no one ever did anything. This guy was not a good teacher. He was more loke a magical nanny.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:16:40 thanks for your post. I'm a bit disgusted by our moderator who seems to chime in to identify that it's only "one or two…"or whatever on this thread and others. I have sat back on the OA pedophile because if this spyware attitude, but let me tell you parents that are upset should not feel monitored about their feelings!!! That's the whole point of DCUM, or used to be. NO ONE EVER SAID THIS COULD BE PREVENTED, JEFF STEELE. You, the moderator who should be once removed, is busy deciding if some parents' feelings are valid or not. There are valid reasons the former principal and her notoriously crappy team might be partially blamed not for this specific nightmare, for perpetuating year after year of unhealthy teacher-student line crossing. I wrote about a music teacher who scared the crap out of 4th graders more than 5 years ago. Maybe this pedo would have slipped by everyone, I had a child there in his grade, but based on experience if I or another parent might have complained about this guy's overt friendliness it probably would have been dismissed, just like the scary music teacher.

I don't think you are being fair in describing my involvement in this thread. Here is what I wrote, "Rather, the criticism -- coming from one or two posters at most -- is that the school failed to prevent the incident in the first place." I stand by that statement. Indeed, in your very post you place blame on the previous administration for perpetuating unhealthy line crossing. That is an example of exactly what I was describing. This is not questioning the validity of your feelings, but simply stating the facts about what has occurred in this thread.

In addiiton, there are posters who may well have valid feelings, but whose feeling don't belong in this thread regardless of the validity of those feelings. One example is the posters who continually called other posters child molesters or potential child molesters. It is the role of the moderator to respond to such posts.

[Anonymous]

on Friday, June 26, mr Pena will have a felony conference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:on Friday, June 26, mr Pena will have a felony conference.

What is a "Felony Conference"? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

seems to be some people's way of trying to flame the fire because they take pleasure in the idea of wanting a like able person being taken down, want a reason to criticize the school, are just bored and in need of gossip.

As a parent who had a child in the offender's class-- in fact in the class when he was committing the offense to which he confessed-- I suggest that until you've had your child ask you "how do I know who I'm supposed to trust anymore" you stop ascribing petty, middle school behavior to another parent who has had to answer that question. I would love the luxury of being bored instead of worried sick that my child witnessed something and is suppressing it. I would love for this to be abstract enough that I could consider this person "likable." This is someone who was in contact with my child daily for ten months, during which he was sexually abusing a child in the same room.

This school is our community. It is where my child has grown from ages 5-11, where we've made friends, where we've seen wonderful children develop and learn and be blessed with mostly phenomenal teachers, and where I sincerely hoped my child would not have to learn that sometimes trusted adults do despicable things to little kids. The school has handled this pretty well other than the initial failure to communicate, and the teachers did a great job in particular of moving forward in quite unfamiliar territory knowing both students and parents were in shock. Calling this criminal what he is does not equal criticizing the school. However, because of what this awful person did, the school is the scene of the worst thing that has happened to anyone my child knows. That can't change. He did that.

I can't get my head around the idea that anyone who has confessed to touching students in his own classroom and sending pictures to a 10-year-old is "likable" by any definition, or that anyone behind bars for child sexual abuse could be "brought down." There's not a whole lot of real estate below where he is.

Let's all pray together that there are no more victims. Unfortunately that is unlikely. Fortunately he'll never be able to hurt another student.

PP, I didn't get the impression that anyone is saying that they like Pena now or that they do not believe his actions were harmful, but the reality is that this is a teacher who, prior to his arrest, was well liked by many - students, parents and teachers alike. It is tempting to revise history when faced with the reality that a person you liked and trusted was not worthy of that support. Your child's questions about who to trust are well taken. It is very hard to reconcile the ways in which you have appreciated a person in the past when you were ignorant of their crimes with the way you feel about them when you learn the truth.

I'm not affiliated with the school, but I do have experience with that particular reconciliation process. Predators often present very well. If there is an inkling of unease, many people dismiss it as being overly paranoid or attribute it to other stressors. I would never have believed I could ever say that a serial rapist was a really nice guy and good friend, until I found myself in the position where a really nice guy who was a good friend of mine was convicted of serial rape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

seems to be some people's way of trying to flame the fire because they take pleasure in the idea of wanting a like able person being taken down, want a reason to criticize the school, are just bored and in need of gossip.

As a parent who had a child in the offender's class-- in fact in the class when he was committing the offense to which he confessed-- I suggest that until you've had your child ask you "how do I know who I'm supposed to trust anymore" you stop ascribing petty, middle school behavior to another parent who has had to answer that question. I would love the luxury of being bored instead of worried sick that my child witnessed something and is suppressing it. I would love for this to be abstract enough that I could consider this person "likable." This is someone who was in contact with my child daily for ten months, during which he was sexually abusing a child in the same room.

This school is our community. It is where my child has grown from ages 5-11, where we've made friends, where we've seen wonderful children develop and learn and be blessed with mostly phenomenal teachers, and where I sincerely hoped my child would not have to learn that sometimes trusted adults do despicable things to little kids. The school has handled this pretty well other than the initial failure to communicate, and the teachers did a great job in particular of moving forward in quite unfamiliar territory knowing both students and parents were in shock. Calling this criminal what he is does not equal criticizing the school. However, because of what this awful person did, the school is the scene of the worst thing that has happened to anyone my child knows. That can't change. He did that.

I can't get my head around the idea that anyone who has confessed to touching students in his own classroom and sending pictures to a 10-year-old is "likable" by any definition, or that anyone behind bars for child sexual abuse could be "brought down." There's not a whole lot of real estate below where he is.

Let's all pray together that there are no more victims. Unfortunately that is unlikely. Fortunately he'll never be able to hurt another student.

Sounds like you're trying to justify dragging this thing out instead of focusing on your child and moving him forward.

Oh well. Such is life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

seems to be some people's way of trying to flame the fire because they take pleasure in the idea of wanting a like able person being taken down, want a reason to criticize the school, are just bored and in need of gossip.

As a parent who had a child in the offender's class-- in fact in the class when he was committing the offense to which he confessed-- I suggest that until you've had your child ask you "how do I know who I'm supposed to trust anymore" you stop ascribing petty, middle school behavior to another parent who has had to answer that question. I would love the luxury of being bored instead of worried sick that my child witnessed something and is suppressing it. I would love for this to be abstract enough that I could consider this person "likable." This is someone who was in contact with my child daily for ten months, during which he was sexually abusing a child in the same room.

This school is our community. It is where my child has grown from ages 5-11, where we've made friends, where we've seen wonderful children develop and learn and be blessed with mostly phenomenal teachers, and where I sincerely hoped my child would not have to learn that sometimes trusted adults do despicable things to little kids. The school has handled this pretty well other than the initial failure to communicate, and the teachers did a great job in particular of moving forward in quite unfamiliar territory knowing both students and parents were in shock. Calling this criminal what he is does not equal criticizing the school. However, because of what this awful person did, the school is the scene of the worst thing that has happened to anyone my child knows. That can't change. He did that.

I can't get my head around the idea that anyone who has confessed to touching students in his own classroom and sending pictures to a 10-year-old is "likable" by any definition, or that anyone behind bars for child sexual abuse could be "brought down." There's not a whole lot of real estate below where he is.

Let's all pray together that there are no more victims. Unfortunately that is unlikely. Fortunately he'll never be able to hurt another student.

Well said. Thank you. It seems the poster you responded to, may be battling his own demons.

Oh unclench already and focus on your own family and life.