New VA trans policies for schools

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Pro trans in sports most certainly is anti- female.

Women should support women.

Instead of punching down on vulnerable people, why not fight the real issues that exist in women’s athletics - disproportionate opportunities, facilities, and funding/pay for women’s sports.

Actually I do support women, and that includes trans women. You just support *some* women. See the difference?

No, I meant women should support women. All women, including transgender women.

And how do you define a woman?

People who identify with the "woman" gender.

Woman isn't an identity. It is an adult human female.

"Woman" is a gender, a social construct.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Pro trans in sports most certainly is anti- female.

Women should support women.

Instead of punching down on vulnerable people, why not fight the real issues that exist in women’s athletics - disproportionate opportunities, facilities, and funding/pay for women’s sports.

Actually I do support women, and that includes trans women. You just support *some* women. See the difference?

DP. Attacking each other for saying the same thing. Lol

This is what happens when you twist language. Then people fail to communicate or understand what each other is saying.

Talk about twisting language; transwomen are not women, they are transwomen. To say otherwise is a verifiable false and a lie.

Throughout history women have never oppressed males. The one punching down are males that have known physical advantages in sports and are demanding that girls and women step aside to make room for their feelings. Talk about entitlement and privilege!

And this nonsense by transactivists that sports are only about being a team. Fine, if winning is just footnote, these males and play on the men's team. No more punching down on girls and women.

No, you are the one punching down here. Stop trying to hurt this vulnerable population.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Pro trans in sports most certainly is anti- female.

Women should support women.

Instead of punching down on vulnerable people, why not fight the real issues that exist in women’s athletics - disproportionate opportunities, facilities, and funding/pay for women’s sports.

Actually I do support women, and that includes trans women. You just support *some* women. See the difference?

No, I meant women should support women. All women, including transgender women.

And how do you define a woman?

People who identify with the "woman" gender.

Yes so in the sentence you just wrote, how do you define “woman”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're so worried about a teacher keeping this information from you, make sure you're creating a home environment where your child knows they can come out to YOU safely, and this won't be a problem.

The kids who have come out to me and asked me to keep it quiet are terrified of their parents finding out. They're terrified of being beaten or kicked out.

Doesn’t matter. The point is, the parents should know. If schools fear abuse then they are mandated reporters. No need to personalize this. If it’s something significant, and affects the well being of the child, the parents should know. Simple as that.

Then, in that case, wouldn't the proper channel be the same as reporting suspected abuse, which is not teachers calling the parents directly?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If you're so worried about a teacher keeping this information from you, make sure you're creating a home environment where your child knows they can come out to YOU safely, and this won't be a problem.

The kids who have come out to me and asked me to keep it quiet are terrified of their parents finding out. They're terrified of being beaten or kicked out.

This is both fear-mongering and overly simplistic.

LOL. Quite the gaslighting there.

Leave LGBTQ+ kids alone. You don’t get to decide what happens for other people’s kids.

That’s the point. You don’t get to decide what happens for other people’s kids. Their parents do.

Nobody at school is going to give your kid (if you even have any) hormones. So chill TF out and leave LGTBQ+ kids alone.

Socially transitioning is a big deal. That’s why people like you claim that if schools don’t affirm a child’s gender identity, there is a chance of suicide. Since it’s a big deal, their parents should know.

Their parents already should know. If they don't, there is a good reason.

Not for you to make that assumption. If something significant is happening to a child, or the child is making a decision that has a profound effect on several things, then the parents should know.

Oh, it's not the teacher's role to make the assumption that parents know; but it is their absolute responsibility to assume they don't know and call them to make sure they do. Got it. Same with what they're wearing? What they're eating? Just in case the parents don't know and they might be breaking family rules or values?

[Anonymous]

I saw this on another website and it parallels our own experience with our daughter. I’m sharing it in hopes that it will provide a ray of hope for distraught parents, a template to use for writing to their own children’s schools, or a policy to propose to schools still following secrecy guidelines.

————————————
Dear School Leaders,

We are writing with some concerns about our child's experience in school around the issue of gender. We understand this is a challenging and controversial topic in schools, and respect that different children and their families have different needs and beliefs regarding gender identity. We fully support the school’s belief statements and appreciate the thoughtful attention given to these ideals.

In 8th grade, our daughter became involved with a small group of other young biological females who identified as transgender, and subsequently wanted to adopt a transgender identity herself. She began using a male name and pronouns at school with both her peers and teachers.

As deeply involved parents who know our child well and have educated ourselves extensively on this subject, we are certain this sudden identity change is driven by a desire for peer acceptance and not by any inherent gender identity disorder. D suffered from anxiety and depression in middle school, and it seemed only to be exacerbated by fixation on gender identity. Among D’s friends, body hatred was a main topic of conversation, and her friends advised her on breast binding, which constricted her breathing and worsened her anxiety and difficulty focusing. Over the summer, without any focus on gender or access to internet or social media, we have seen D’s mental health improve dramatically. We have concentrated instead on participation in healthy activities and building positive relationships, and this has been clearly beneficial for D. Though we will support and love her no matter how she identifies in her life, we believe she is still too young to decide her gender and sexual identity.

On the first day of class, many teachers now ask children to introduce themselves with their name and preferred pronouns. While this has become a standard inclusion practice for adults, it doesn’t always have the intended effect for children and teens, who are still figuring out who they are. For many teens, this practice creates an on-the-spot social pressure to label themselves with a gender identity, which is hard for them to reverse socially once they have identified themselves. This is especially difficult for a child like ours, who has deep social anxiety and fear of peer rejection.

May we ask that:

1. Our child’s teachers do not focus on identifying pronouns, especially early in the semester?

2. Our child’s given name and pronouns be used by teachers and administrators?

We work closely with each other as well as mental and physical health professionals to ensure our child’s well-being. With much care and evaluation, we are supporting D to stay focused on health, self-care and learning for the time being, rather than gender identity. We ask also that the school support us in our parenting decisions and let us know if any issues arise with D, gender-related or otherwise. And we are always open to more conversation and new ideas and solutions.

Thank you,

D’s parents

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Says the side attacking the mom of a sexual assault survivor just trying her best to help her kid. Tell me again how you aren’t anti-girl.

It’s not a teacher’s fault that your child was sexually assaulted and it’s not their job to tell you it’s the job of the police

So you are apparently okay with the PPs attacking the mom for seeking critical health information to help her kid, and asking that schools continue to hide that information.

That is genuinely awful. Just awful.

I support the long proven procedure of contacting CPS, not parents if they think a child was abused.

But you want to hide critical medical information that could have serious impact on the child’s recovery. It is your side that insists that this information is critical to mental health, remember. But you want that hidden, harming the recovery of a sex assault survivor and her parent who is doing her best to help her child.

Anyhow, I am stepping out of this conversation. These threads tend to just convince me even more of how morally bankrupt trans rights advocates are, but this is a new low, and frankly I don’t want to see it further. It’s too disturbing. I’m out.

NP I'm having difficulty following this thread. In this case, isn't the parent already aware the child was sexually assaulted? And is seeking information from the school based on suspicions or information she already knows? In significant cases like this, don't parents usually alert appropriate school personnel of their child's condition knowing that there may be impacts? If so, I don't see why or even expect that the school would continue to refuse to acknowledge the student's using a different name. This isn't the same as some random parent just asking to catch their kid at something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Pro trans in sports most certainly is anti- female.

Women should support women.

Instead of punching down on vulnerable people, why not fight the real issues that exist in women’s athletics - disproportionate opportunities, facilities, and funding/pay for women’s sports.

I know, right? Women's sports are about being on a team, not about winning. Women athletes don't care about winning and aren't competitive or aggressive, they only want to play.

Ugh.

Athletics in general are not all about winning.

Even in the Olympics:
https://olympics.com/ioc/principles

Uh-huh. Nobody cares about winning. Right.
I've witnessed an awful lot of parents on the soccer sidelines that indicate otherwise.
And the pouty athletes who don't care about their 2nd place Olympic medal because they didn't get gold.
And the parents/kids aiming for those athletic scholarships and professional league prospects.
Winning may not be the end-all-be-all for every or most athletes; but it sure is a lot more fun when you win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Says the side attacking the mom of a sexual assault survivor just trying her best to help her kid. Tell me again how you aren’t anti-girl.

It’s not a teacher’s fault that your child was sexually assaulted and it’s not their job to tell you it’s the job of the police

So you are apparently okay with the PPs attacking the mom for seeking critical health information to help her kid, and asking that schools continue to hide that information.

That is genuinely awful. Just awful.

I support the long proven procedure of contacting CPS, not parents if they think a child was abused.

DP. Because you are refusing to understand what the parent of the assault-surviving-DD was asking, she wanted to know that her DD had changed her pronouns at school. Which current guidelines did not require and which the new state guidelines do.

Good. As they should. No reason for letting schools do something that parents do not know about.

Basically, Youngkin wants to force schools to OUT kids. That is disgusting.

These are not kids who are attracted to members of the same sex. These are kids that feel their biological sex does not match who they feel they are. This is a big deal and parents should know. No one is asking for them to be “outed.” The issue is that they are “outed” by the school without their parents knowledge. They are choosing to identity as the sex that doesn’t correspond with their birth and the school is affirming this choice without informing the parent. This is a decision that will have a profound effect on the child mentally and emotionally. Therefore the child’s parents should know about it. If the school fears that the child will be in danger if they inform the parents then the should go directly to CPS which will then make their own decision over what steps to take. This is not an unreasonable thing to ask APS to do. APS asks for consent to give my child Tylenol, take them to a field trip but they won’t let me know if my girl start identifying as a boy? This makes no sense logically.

It doesn’t make sense because you should already know and how dies teacher A know teacher B didn’t already tell you.

Where does it end? Do I tell you they are dating? They express not wanting to be a ductile but you think they will be one? That they change their clothes when they leave your house and get to school? That they are hanging with the goth kids? That they have a nick name. That they put makeup on now? That boys wear makeup? Ear piercings? Other piercings?

Teachers are there to teach not police your children social interactions.

This is not a social interaction. You know that. This is not make up, piercing, clothing. We are talking about a child that is presenting a gender opposite to their biological sex. People who support trans rights on this very forum say that if we don’t immediately affirm their preferred gender then the risk of suicide will increase. Let’s not pretend this is some social interaction or some need to wear makeup. We don’t have a make up rights movement or make up rights activists. But we have a trans rights movement. So clearly, everyone agrees that this is not a social interaction and very different than wearing make up or having a piercing.

So a student going by "they" would have to be reported to the parent? Or just a "he" going by "she"? A number of kids choose to go by "they" to acknowledge others' identities and to signify their values of inclusivity, not because "she" doesn't consider herself a "she."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Says the side attacking the mom of a sexual assault survivor just trying her best to help her kid. Tell me again how you aren’t anti-girl.

It’s not a teacher’s fault that your child was sexually assaulted and it’s not their job to tell you it’s the job of the police

So you are apparently okay with the PPs attacking the mom for seeking critical health information to help her kid, and asking that schools continue to hide that information.

That is genuinely awful. Just awful.

I support the long proven procedure of contacting CPS, not parents if they think a child was abused.

DP. Because you are refusing to understand what the parent of the assault-surviving-DD was asking, she wanted to know that her DD had changed her pronouns at school. Which current guidelines did not require and which the new state guidelines do.

Good. As they should. No reason for letting schools do something that parents do not know about.

Basically, Youngkin wants to force schools to OUT kids. That is disgusting.

These are not kids who are attracted to members of the same sex. These are kids that feel their biological sex does not match who they feel they are. This is a big deal and parents should know. No one is asking for them to be “outed.” The issue is that they are “outed” by the school without their parents knowledge. They are choosing to identity as the sex that doesn’t correspond with their birth and the school is affirming this choice without informing the parent. This is a decision that will have a profound effect on the child mentally and emotionally. Therefore the child’s parents should know about it. If the school fears that the child will be in danger if they inform the parents then the should go directly to CPS which will then make their own decision over what steps to take. This is not an unreasonable thing to ask APS to do. APS asks for consent to give my child Tylenol, take them to a field trip but they won’t let me know if my girl start identifying as a boy? This makes no sense logically.

It doesn’t make sense because you should already know and how dies teacher A know teacher B didn’t already tell you.

Where does it end? Do I tell you they are dating? They express not wanting to be a ductile but you think they will be one? That they change their clothes when they leave your house and get to school? That they are hanging with the goth kids? That they have a nick name. That they put makeup on now? That boys wear makeup? Ear piercings? Other piercings?

Teachers are there to teach not police your children social interactions.

This is not a social interaction. You know that. This is not make up, piercing, clothing. We are talking about a child that is presenting a gender opposite to their biological sex. People who support trans rights on this very forum say that if we don’t immediately affirm their preferred gender then the risk of suicide will increase. Let’s not pretend this is some social interaction or some need to wear makeup. We don’t have a make up rights movement or make up rights activists. But we have a trans rights movement. So clearly, everyone agrees that this is not a social interaction and very different than wearing make up or having a piercing.

Unless it's a boy wearing make-up, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Says the side attacking the mom of a sexual assault survivor just trying her best to help her kid. Tell me again how you aren’t anti-girl.

It’s not a teacher’s fault that your child was sexually assaulted and it’s not their job to tell you it’s the job of the police

So you are apparently okay with the PPs attacking the mom for seeking critical health information to help her kid, and asking that schools continue to hide that information.

That is genuinely awful. Just awful.

I support the long proven procedure of contacting CPS, not parents if they think a child was abused.

DP. Because you are refusing to understand what the parent of the assault-surviving-DD was asking, she wanted to know that her DD had changed her pronouns at school. Which current guidelines did not require and which the new state guidelines do.

Good. As they should. No reason for letting schools do something that parents do not know about.

Basically, Youngkin wants to force schools to OUT kids. That is disgusting.

These are not kids who are attracted to members of the same sex. These are kids that feel their biological sex does not match who they feel they are. This is a big deal and parents should know. No one is asking for them to be “outed.” The issue is that they are “outed” by the school without their parents knowledge. They are choosing to identity as the sex that doesn’t correspond with their birth and the school is affirming this choice without informing the parent. This is a decision that will have a profound effect on the child mentally and emotionally. Therefore the child’s parents should know about it. If the school fears that the child will be in danger if they inform the parents then the should go directly to CPS which will then make their own decision over what steps to take. This is not an unreasonable thing to ask APS to do. APS asks for consent to give my child Tylenol, take them to a field trip but they won’t let me know if my girl start identifying as a boy? This makes no sense logically.

It doesn’t make sense because you should already know and how dies teacher A know teacher B didn’t already tell you.

Where does it end? Do I tell you they are dating? They express not wanting to be a ductile but you think they will be one? That they change their clothes when they leave your house and get to school? That they are hanging with the goth kids? That they have a nick name. That they put makeup on now? That boys wear makeup? Ear piercings? Other piercings?

Teachers are there to teach not police your children social interactions.

This is not a social interaction. You know that. This is not make up, piercing, clothing. We are talking about a child that is presenting a gender opposite to their biological sex. People who support trans rights on this very forum say that if we don’t immediately affirm their preferred gender then the risk of suicide will increase. Let’s not pretend this is some social interaction or some need to wear makeup. We don’t have a make up rights movement or make up rights activists. But we have a trans rights movement. So clearly, everyone agrees that this is not a social interaction and very different than wearing make up or having a piercing.

It's part of the student's personal life/personal decision. You want schools involved in kids' personal lives?

How is it private when the entire school is affirming the student’s gender publicly but without telling the parent and actively concealing it?

+1
The school should not be actively concealing information from parents. Entirely different from a teacher knowing a student is dating someone of the same sex - how often is that going to come up in a teacher call / email to parents? But using the “wrong” pronouns quite quickly would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Says the side attacking the mom of a sexual assault survivor just trying her best to help her kid. Tell me again how you aren’t anti-girl.

It’s not a teacher’s fault that your child was sexually assaulted and it’s not their job to tell you it’s the job of the police

So you are apparently okay with the PPs attacking the mom for seeking critical health information to help her kid, and asking that schools continue to hide that information.

That is genuinely awful. Just awful.

I support the long proven procedure of contacting CPS, not parents if they think a child was abused.

DP. Because you are refusing to understand what the parent of the assault-surviving-DD was asking, she wanted to know that her DD had changed her pronouns at school. Which current guidelines did not require and which the new state guidelines do.

Good. As they should. No reason for letting schools do something that parents do not know about.

Basically, Youngkin wants to force schools to OUT kids. That is disgusting.

These are not kids who are attracted to members of the same sex. These are kids that feel their biological sex does not match who they feel they are. This is a big deal and parents should know. No one is asking for them to be “outed.” The issue is that they are “outed” by the school without their parents knowledge. They are choosing to identity as the sex that doesn’t correspond with their birth and the school is affirming this choice without informing the parent. This is a decision that will have a profound effect on the child mentally and emotionally. Therefore the child’s parents should know about it. If the school fears that the child will be in danger if they inform the parents then the should go directly to CPS which will then make their own decision over what steps to take. This is not an unreasonable thing to ask APS to do. APS asks for consent to give my child Tylenol, take them to a field trip but they won’t let me know if my girl start identifying as a boy? This makes no sense logically.

I don't think you understand the new policy. Any teacher could choose to out any trans student at any time, no matter what the parents want.

I’m the PP who wrote this comment and keeps making the same point. I understand the policy and I have said previously that I don’t support all of Youngkin’s policy. What I do support though is the parents’ right to know if their child is being treated as a gender that doesn’t correspond to their biological sex. Arlington’s policy takes away that right.

I disagree. The parent can probably pretty easily find out other ways. Kids talk, parents talk; kids see things, parents see things. The parent can probably talk to other parents and get an inkling if something's going on and then....ask their kid directly. If the kid denies, that's probably a bigger parent issue. If a parent is genuine and supportive, the kid is far more likely to open up. If they aren't, that's why the kid is refusing to admit it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Says the side attacking the mom of a sexual assault survivor just trying her best to help her kid. Tell me again how you aren’t anti-girl.

It’s not a teacher’s fault that your child was sexually assaulted and it’s not their job to tell you it’s the job of the police

So you are apparently okay with the PPs attacking the mom for seeking critical health information to help her kid, and asking that schools continue to hide that information.

That is genuinely awful. Just awful.

I support the long proven procedure of contacting CPS, not parents if they think a child was abused.

DP. Because you are refusing to understand what the parent of the assault-surviving-DD was asking, she wanted to know that her DD had changed her pronouns at school. Which current guidelines did not require and which the new state guidelines do.

Good. As they should. No reason for letting schools do something that parents do not know about.

Basically, Youngkin wants to force schools to OUT kids. That is disgusting.

These are not kids who are attracted to members of the same sex. These are kids that feel their biological sex does not match who they feel they are. This is a big deal and parents should know. No one is asking for them to be “outed.” The issue is that they are “outed” by the school without their parents knowledge. They are choosing to identity as the sex that doesn’t correspond with their birth and the school is affirming this choice without informing the parent. This is a decision that will have a profound effect on the child mentally and emotionally. Therefore the child’s parents should know about it. If the school fears that the child will be in danger if they inform the parents then the should go directly to CPS which will then make their own decision over what steps to take. This is not an unreasonable thing to ask APS to do. APS asks for consent to give my child Tylenol, take them to a field trip but they won’t let me know if my girl start identifying as a boy? This makes no sense logically.

I don't think you understand the new policy. Any teacher could choose to out any trans student at any time, no matter what the parents want.

I’m the PP who wrote this comment and keeps making the same point. I understand the policy and I have said previously that I don’t support all of Youngkin’s policy. What I do support though is the parents’ right to know if their child is being treated as a gender that doesn’t correspond to their biological sex. Arlington’s policy takes away that right.

So you want the kid's school to "out" kids to their parents without their permission? How could that possibly be a good thing?

Stop using the world “out.” These are not gay or lesbian kids that are secretly attracted to members of the same sex, and the kid told one of the teachers. This is a situation where child is already presenting as trans in public - in the actual school. The school is actively choosing to affirm the gender the child is identifying as by allowing that child to use bathrooms of that gender, play sports in teams of that gender and refer to that child as that gender (using pronouns. The clinical term for this is social transition and it is the first step of gender affirming care which again is a clinical term. So yes the parents should know.

First of all, coming "out" to someone is exactly that whether it's being gay or trans. If one is hiding one's transgenderism from parents, informing them is coming out as trans.
Regardless, if a child is playing on a sports team of the opposite gender, the parents are going to know. Parents have to provide information and permission for children to participate in sports and actually indicate which ones.
I don't know where I stand on this whole policy. But I think there are different levels of significance and concern. Some kids might be trying things out and that may start with using different pronouns. Is it really that critical for parents to know at that point? But now the cis-boy has moved farther forward so-to-speak and wants to tryout/join the girls' lacrosse team, for example. Just from a practical perspective, parents need to be involved at that point since they need to provide permission for their child to participate anyway. I just think immediately jumping to the extreme as soon as a student asks to be called the "wrong" pronoun or a name not consistent with their official name is not necessarily warranted.

[Anonymous]

I wish people understood that being a mandatory reporter doesn't mean a problem will actually be identified and addressed.

I have a student who goes by "they" and asked for a different name to be used. Kid doesn't want me (and other teachers on the case) to tell parents. Because they're afraid their parent will beat them. Based on other things they said, we did report the safety concern
to CPS.

It is impossibly hard for CPS to take action. If there are no current bruises/injuries or evidence, CPS will talk to the parent and then it's over. (Same story several times a year with different kids).

Parents have been reported and deemed to not be an actual threat, but the kid is still terrified. And now the teacher has to let the parent know because CPS isn't worried?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish people understood that being a mandatory reporter doesn't mean a problem will actually be identified and addressed.

I have a student who goes by "they" and asked for a different name to be used. Kid doesn't want me (and other teachers on the case) to tell parents. Because they're afraid their parent will beat them. Based on other things they said, we did report the safety concern
to CPS.

It is impossibly hard for CPS to take action. If there are no current bruises/injuries or evidence, CPS will talk to the parent and then it's over. (Same story several times a year with different kids).

Parents have been reported and deemed to not be an actual threat, but the kid is still terrified. And now the teacher to let the parent know because CPS isn't worried?

So what you are saying is that kids lie, come up with tall tales to get away with stuff to manipulate adults. Shocking, just shocking.

Yes you are withholding secrets (don't tell my parents! They don't love or understand me like you!) in what should be none of your business. CPS has found nothing, your job here is done.

You have a choice, go along with the charade and tell the parents according to the new guidelines. Or do not involve yourself with this drama, stick to teaching and not inserting yourself as some kind of co-parent, therefore do not need to tell the parents anything.