New VA trans policies for schools

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Says the side attacking the mom of a sexual assault survivor just trying her best to help her kid. Tell me again how you aren’t anti-girl.

It’s not a teacher’s fault that your child was sexually assaulted and it’s not their job to tell you it’s the job of the police

So you are apparently okay with the PPs attacking the mom for seeking critical health information to help her kid, and asking that schools continue to hide that information.

That is genuinely awful. Just awful.

I support the long proven procedure of contacting CPS, not parents if they think a child was abused.

DP. Because you are refusing to understand what the parent of the assault-surviving-DD was asking, she wanted to know that her DD had changed her pronouns at school. Which current guidelines did not require and which the new state guidelines do.

Good. As they should. No reason for letting schools do something that parents do not know about.

Basically, Youngkin wants to force schools to OUT kids. That is disgusting.

These are not kids who are attracted to members of the same sex. These are kids that feel their biological sex does not match who they feel they are. This is a big deal and parents should know. No one is asking for them to be “outed.” The issue is that they are “outed” by the school without their parents knowledge. They are choosing to identity as the sex that doesn’t correspond with their birth and the school is affirming this choice without informing the parent. This is a decision that will have a profound effect on the child mentally and emotionally. Therefore the child’s parents should know about it. If the school fears that the child will be in danger if they inform the parents then the should go directly to CPS which will then make their own decision over what steps to take. This is not an unreasonable thing to ask APS to do. APS asks for consent to give my child Tylenol, take them to a field trip but they won’t let me know if my girl start identifying as a boy? This makes no sense logically.

It doesn’t make sense because you should already know and how dies teacher A know teacher B didn’t already tell you.

Where does it end? Do I tell you they are dating? They express not wanting to be a ductile but you think they will be one? That they change their clothes when they leave your house and get to school? That they are hanging with the goth kids? That they have a nick name. That they put makeup on now? That boys wear makeup? Ear piercings? Other piercings?

Teachers are there to teach not police your children social interactions.

Yes, this feels like a huge intrusion into the student’s privacy and personal life.

And it absolutely is coming out.
https://www.chop.edu/health-resources/coming-out-parents-and-friends-transgender

You're making the case for the new rules, fyi, not against them.

Not at all. Schools should not be forced to violate student's privacy and insert themselves into their personal lives. It's wrong for schools to be forced to "out" kids to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Says the side attacking the mom of a sexual assault survivor just trying her best to help her kid. Tell me again how you aren’t anti-girl.

It’s not a teacher’s fault that your child was sexually assaulted and it’s not their job to tell you it’s the job of the police

So you are apparently okay with the PPs attacking the mom for seeking critical health information to help her kid, and asking that schools continue to hide that information.

That is genuinely awful. Just awful.

I support the long proven procedure of contacting CPS, not parents if they think a child was abused.

DP. Because you are refusing to understand what the parent of the assault-surviving-DD was asking, she wanted to know that her DD had changed her pronouns at school. Which current guidelines did not require and which the new state guidelines do.

Good. As they should. No reason for letting schools do something that parents do not know about.

Basically, Youngkin wants to force schools to OUT kids. That is disgusting.

These are not kids who are attracted to members of the same sex. These are kids that feel their biological sex does not match who they feel they are. This is a big deal and parents should know. No one is asking for them to be “outed.” The issue is that they are “outed” by the school without their parents knowledge. They are choosing to identity as the sex that doesn’t correspond with their birth and the school is affirming this choice without informing the parent. This is a decision that will have a profound effect on the child mentally and emotionally. Therefore the child’s parents should know about it. If the school fears that the child will be in danger if they inform the parents then the should go directly to CPS which will then make their own decision over what steps to take. This is not an unreasonable thing to ask APS to do. APS asks for consent to give my child Tylenol, take them to a field trip but they won’t let me know if my girl start identifying as a boy? This makes no sense logically.

I don't think you understand the new policy. Any teacher could choose to out any trans student at any time, no matter what the parents want.

I’m the PP who wrote this comment and keeps making the same point. I understand the policy and I have said previously that I don’t support all of Youngkin’s policy. What I do support though is the parents’ right to know if their child is being treated as a gender that doesn’t correspond to their biological sex. Arlington’s policy takes away that right.

So you want the kid's school to "out" kids to their parents without their permission? How could that possibly be a good thing?

Stop using the world “out.” These are not gay or lesbian kids that are secretly attracted to members of the same sex, and the kid told one of the teachers. This is a situation where child is already presenting as trans in public - in the actual school. The school is actively choosing to affirm the gender the child is identifying as by allowing that child to use bathrooms of that gender, play sports in teams of that gender and refer to that child as that gender (using pronouns. The clinical term for this is social transition and it is the first step of gender affirming care which again is a clinical term. So yes the parents should know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Says the side attacking the mom of a sexual assault survivor just trying her best to help her kid. Tell me again how you aren’t anti-girl.

It’s not a teacher’s fault that your child was sexually assaulted and it’s not their job to tell you it’s the job of the police

So you are apparently okay with the PPs attacking the mom for seeking critical health information to help her kid, and asking that schools continue to hide that information.

That is genuinely awful. Just awful.

I support the long proven procedure of contacting CPS, not parents if they think a child was abused.

DP. Because you are refusing to understand what the parent of the assault-surviving-DD was asking, she wanted to know that her DD had changed her pronouns at school. Which current guidelines did not require and which the new state guidelines do.

Good. As they should. No reason for letting schools do something that parents do not know about.

Basically, Youngkin wants to force schools to OUT kids. That is disgusting.

These are not kids who are attracted to members of the same sex. These are kids that feel their biological sex does not match who they feel they are. This is a big deal and parents should know. No one is asking for them to be “outed.” The issue is that they are “outed” by the school without their parents knowledge. They are choosing to identity as the sex that doesn’t correspond with their birth and the school is affirming this choice without informing the parent. This is a decision that will have a profound effect on the child mentally and emotionally. Therefore the child’s parents should know about it. If the school fears that the child will be in danger if they inform the parents then the should go directly to CPS which will then make their own decision over what steps to take. This is not an unreasonable thing to ask APS to do. APS asks for consent to give my child Tylenol, take them to a field trip but they won’t let me know if my girl start identifying as a boy? This makes no sense logically.

It doesn’t make sense because you should already know and how dies teacher A know teacher B didn’t already tell you.

Where does it end? Do I tell you they are dating? They express not wanting to be a ductile but you think they will be one? That they change their clothes when they leave your house and get to school? That they are hanging with the goth kids? That they have a nick name. That they put makeup on now? That boys wear makeup? Ear piercings? Other piercings?

Teachers are there to teach not police your children social interactions.

Yes, this feels like a huge intrusion into the student’s privacy and personal life.

And it absolutely is coming out.
https://www.chop.edu/health-resources/coming-out-parents-and-friends-transgender

You're making the case for the new rules, fyi, not against them.

Not at all. Schools should not be forced to violate student's privacy and insert themselves into their personal lives. It's wrong for schools to be forced to "out" kids to anyone.

What privacy are you talking about? The school is treating the child as part of the gender opposite to the one that corresponds to their biological sex. They are doing this publicly by using pronouns that correspond to that gender in front of everyone in the classroom, allowing the child to play on a team that corresponds to that gender (again not private) and allowing a child to use the bathrooms that correspond to that gender. It’s already public. The entire school treats that child as being that gender. It’s not private. So yes the parents should know. We are not discussing a situation where a child who is biologically male comes to a counselor or a teacher privately and tells them I feel like I’m a girl or I don’t want to be a boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Says the side attacking the mom of a sexual assault survivor just trying her best to help her kid. Tell me again how you aren’t anti-girl.

It’s not a teacher’s fault that your child was sexually assaulted and it’s not their job to tell you it’s the job of the police

So you are apparently okay with the PPs attacking the mom for seeking critical health information to help her kid, and asking that schools continue to hide that information.

That is genuinely awful. Just awful.

I support the long proven procedure of contacting CPS, not parents if they think a child was abused.

DP. Because you are refusing to understand what the parent of the assault-surviving-DD was asking, she wanted to know that her DD had changed her pronouns at school. Which current guidelines did not require and which the new state guidelines do.

Good. As they should. No reason for letting schools do something that parents do not know about.

Basically, Youngkin wants to force schools to OUT kids. That is disgusting.

These are not kids who are attracted to members of the same sex. These are kids that feel their biological sex does not match who they feel they are. This is a big deal and parents should know. No one is asking for them to be “outed.” The issue is that they are “outed” by the school without their parents knowledge. They are choosing to identity as the sex that doesn’t correspond with their birth and the school is affirming this choice without informing the parent. This is a decision that will have a profound effect on the child mentally and emotionally. Therefore the child’s parents should know about it. If the school fears that the child will be in danger if they inform the parents then the should go directly to CPS which will then make their own decision over what steps to take. This is not an unreasonable thing to ask APS to do. APS asks for consent to give my child Tylenol, take them to a field trip but they won’t let me know if my girl start identifying as a boy? This makes no sense logically.

I don't think you understand the new policy. Any teacher could choose to out any trans student at any time, no matter what the parents want.

I’m the PP who wrote this comment and keeps making the same point. I understand the policy and I have said previously that I don’t support all of Youngkin’s policy. What I do support though is the parents’ right to know if their child is being treated as a gender that doesn’t correspond to their biological sex. Arlington’s policy takes away that right.

So you want the kid's school to "out" kids to their parents without their permission? How could that possibly be a good thing?

Stop using the world “out.” These are not gay or lesbian kids that are secretly attracted to members of the same sex, and the kid told one of the teachers. This is a situation where child is already presenting as trans in public - in the actual school. The school is actively choosing to affirm the gender the child is identifying as by allowing that child to use bathrooms of that gender, play sports in teams of that gender and refer to that child as that gender (using pronouns. The clinical term for this is social transition and it is the first step of gender affirming care which again is a clinical term. So yes the parents should know.

And, Europe is walking back their prior views on transitioninng.

This is a very new phenomenon (yes, I know there have always been people who "passed", but they didn't take puberty blockers or cut off body parts.)

It is not unreasonable to question the practice. Certainly, parents need to know.

Compassion is in order. Approval? not so much

Social contagion should be considered here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Says the side attacking the mom of a sexual assault survivor just trying her best to help her kid. Tell me again how you aren’t anti-girl.

It’s not a teacher’s fault that your child was sexually assaulted and it’s not their job to tell you it’s the job of the police

So you are apparently okay with the PPs attacking the mom for seeking critical health information to help her kid, and asking that schools continue to hide that information.

That is genuinely awful. Just awful.

I support the long proven procedure of contacting CPS, not parents if they think a child was abused.

DP. Because you are refusing to understand what the parent of the assault-surviving-DD was asking, she wanted to know that her DD had changed her pronouns at school. Which current guidelines did not require and which the new state guidelines do.

Good. As they should. No reason for letting schools do something that parents do not know about.

Basically, Youngkin wants to force schools to OUT kids. That is disgusting.

These are not kids who are attracted to members of the same sex. These are kids that feel their biological sex does not match who they feel they are. This is a big deal and parents should know. No one is asking for them to be “outed.” The issue is that they are “outed” by the school without their parents knowledge. They are choosing to identity as the sex that doesn’t correspond with their birth and the school is affirming this choice without informing the parent. This is a decision that will have a profound effect on the child mentally and emotionally. Therefore the child’s parents should know about it. If the school fears that the child will be in danger if they inform the parents then the should go directly to CPS which will then make their own decision over what steps to take. This is not an unreasonable thing to ask APS to do. APS asks for consent to give my child Tylenol, take them to a field trip but they won’t let me know if my girl start identifying as a boy? This makes no sense logically.

It doesn’t make sense because you should already know and how dies teacher A know teacher B didn’t already tell you.

Where does it end? Do I tell you they are dating? They express not wanting to be a ductile but you think they will be one? That they change their clothes when they leave your house and get to school? That they are hanging with the goth kids? That they have a nick name. That they put makeup on now? That boys wear makeup? Ear piercings? Other piercings?

Teachers are there to teach not police your children social interactions.

This is not a social interaction. You know that. This is not make up, piercing, clothing. We are talking about a child that is presenting a gender opposite to their biological sex. People who support trans rights on this very forum say that if we don’t immediately affirm their preferred gender then the risk of suicide will increase. Let’s not pretend this is some social interaction or some need to wear makeup. We don’t have a make up rights movement or make up rights activists. But we have a trans rights movement. So clearly, everyone agrees that this is not a social interaction and very different than wearing make up or having a piercing.

It's part of the student's personal life/personal decision. You want schools involved in kids' personal lives?

How is it private when the entire school is affirming the student’s gender publicly but without telling the parent and actively concealing it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Says the side attacking the mom of a sexual assault survivor just trying her best to help her kid. Tell me again how you aren’t anti-girl.

It’s not a teacher’s fault that your child was sexually assaulted and it’s not their job to tell you it’s the job of the police

So you are apparently okay with the PPs attacking the mom for seeking critical health information to help her kid, and asking that schools continue to hide that information.

That is genuinely awful. Just awful.

I support the long proven procedure of contacting CPS, not parents if they think a child was abused.

DP. Because you are refusing to understand what the parent of the assault-surviving-DD was asking, she wanted to know that her DD had changed her pronouns at school. Which current guidelines did not require and which the new state guidelines do.

Good. As they should. No reason for letting schools do something that parents do not know about.

Basically, Youngkin wants to force schools to OUT kids. That is disgusting.

These are not kids who are attracted to members of the same sex. These are kids that feel their biological sex does not match who they feel they are. This is a big deal and parents should know. No one is asking for them to be “outed.” The issue is that they are “outed” by the school without their parents knowledge. They are choosing to identity as the sex that doesn’t correspond with their birth and the school is affirming this choice without informing the parent. This is a decision that will have a profound effect on the child mentally and emotionally. Therefore the child’s parents should know about it. If the school fears that the child will be in danger if they inform the parents then the should go directly to CPS which will then make their own decision over what steps to take. This is not an unreasonable thing to ask APS to do. APS asks for consent to give my child Tylenol, take them to a field trip but they won’t let me know if my girl start identifying as a boy? This makes no sense logically.

It doesn’t make sense because you should already know and how dies teacher A know teacher B didn’t already tell you.

Where does it end? Do I tell you they are dating? They express not wanting to be a ductile but you think they will be one? That they change their clothes when they leave your house and get to school? That they are hanging with the goth kids? That they have a nick name. That they put makeup on now? That boys wear makeup? Ear piercings? Other piercings?

Teachers are there to teach not police your children social interactions.

This is not a social interaction. You know that. This is not make up, piercing, clothing. We are talking about a child that is presenting a gender opposite to their biological sex. People who support trans rights on this very forum say that if we don’t immediately affirm their preferred gender then the risk of suicide will increase. Let’s not pretend this is some social interaction or some need to wear makeup. We don’t have a make up rights movement or make up rights activists. But we have a trans rights movement. So clearly, everyone agrees that this is not a social interaction and very different than wearing make up or having a piercing.

It's part of the student's personal life/personal decision. You want schools involved in kids' personal lives?

How is it private when the entire school is affirming the student’s gender publicly but without telling the parent and actively concealing it?

They are "outing" a student without their permission. Doesn't get any more personal than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Says the side attacking the mom of a sexual assault survivor just trying her best to help her kid. Tell me again how you aren’t anti-girl.

It’s not a teacher’s fault that your child was sexually assaulted and it’s not their job to tell you it’s the job of the police

So you are apparently okay with the PPs attacking the mom for seeking critical health information to help her kid, and asking that schools continue to hide that information.

That is genuinely awful. Just awful.

I support the long proven procedure of contacting CPS, not parents if they think a child was abused.

DP. Because you are refusing to understand what the parent of the assault-surviving-DD was asking, she wanted to know that her DD had changed her pronouns at school. Which current guidelines did not require and which the new state guidelines do.

Good. As they should. No reason for letting schools do something that parents do not know about.

Basically, Youngkin wants to force schools to OUT kids. That is disgusting.

These are not kids who are attracted to members of the same sex. These are kids that feel their biological sex does not match who they feel they are. This is a big deal and parents should know. No one is asking for them to be “outed.” The issue is that they are “outed” by the school without their parents knowledge. They are choosing to identity as the sex that doesn’t correspond with their birth and the school is affirming this choice without informing the parent. This is a decision that will have a profound effect on the child mentally and emotionally. Therefore the child’s parents should know about it. If the school fears that the child will be in danger if they inform the parents then the should go directly to CPS which will then make their own decision over what steps to take. This is not an unreasonable thing to ask APS to do. APS asks for consent to give my child Tylenol, take them to a field trip but they won’t let me know if my girl start identifying as a boy? This makes no sense logically.

I don't think you understand the new policy. Any teacher could choose to out any trans student at any time, no matter what the parents want.

I’m the PP who wrote this comment and keeps making the same point. I understand the policy and I have said previously that I don’t support all of Youngkin’s policy. What I do support though is the parents’ right to know if their child is being treated as a gender that doesn’t correspond to their biological sex. Arlington’s policy takes away that right.

So you want the kid's school to "out" kids to their parents without their permission? How could that possibly be a good thing?

Stop using the world “out.” These are not gay or lesbian kids that are secretly attracted to members of the same sex, and the kid told one of the teachers. This is a situation where child is already presenting as trans in public - in the actual school. The school is actively choosing to affirm the gender the child is identifying as by allowing that child to use bathrooms of that gender, play sports in teams of that gender and refer to that child as that gender (using pronouns. The clinical term for this is social transition and it is the first step of gender affirming care which again is a clinical term. So yes the parents should know.

And, Europe is walking back their prior views on transitioninng.

This is a very new phenomenon (yes, I know there have always been people who "passed", but they didn't take puberty blockers or cut off body parts.)

It is not unreasonable to question the practice. Certainly, parents need to know.

Compassion is in order. Approval? not so much

Social contagion should be considered here.

Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Says the side attacking the mom of a sexual assault survivor just trying her best to help her kid. Tell me again how you aren’t anti-girl.

It’s not a teacher’s fault that your child was sexually assaulted and it’s not their job to tell you it’s the job of the police

So you are apparently okay with the PPs attacking the mom for seeking critical health information to help her kid, and asking that schools continue to hide that information.

That is genuinely awful. Just awful.

I support the long proven procedure of contacting CPS, not parents if they think a child was abused.

DP. Because you are refusing to understand what the parent of the assault-surviving-DD was asking, she wanted to know that her DD had changed her pronouns at school. Which current guidelines did not require and which the new state guidelines do.

Good. As they should. No reason for letting schools do something that parents do not know about.

Basically, Youngkin wants to force schools to OUT kids. That is disgusting.

These are not kids who are attracted to members of the same sex. These are kids that feel their biological sex does not match who they feel they are. This is a big deal and parents should know. No one is asking for them to be “outed.” The issue is that they are “outed” by the school without their parents knowledge. They are choosing to identity as the sex that doesn’t correspond with their birth and the school is affirming this choice without informing the parent. This is a decision that will have a profound effect on the child mentally and emotionally. Therefore the child’s parents should know about it. If the school fears that the child will be in danger if they inform the parents then the should go directly to CPS which will then make their own decision over what steps to take. This is not an unreasonable thing to ask APS to do. APS asks for consent to give my child Tylenol, take them to a field trip but they won’t let me know if my girl start identifying as a boy? This makes no sense logically.

It doesn’t make sense because you should already know and how dies teacher A know teacher B didn’t already tell you.

Where does it end? Do I tell you they are dating? They express not wanting to be a ductile but you think they will be one? That they change their clothes when they leave your house and get to school? That they are hanging with the goth kids? That they have a nick name. That they put makeup on now? That boys wear makeup? Ear piercings? Other piercings?

Teachers are there to teach not police your children social interactions.

Yes, this feels like a huge intrusion into the student’s privacy and personal life.

And it absolutely is coming out.
https://www.chop.edu/health-resources/coming-out-parents-and-friends-transgender

You're making the case for the new rules, fyi, not against them.

Not at all. Schools should not be forced to violate student's privacy and insert themselves into their personal lives. It's wrong for schools to be forced to "out" kids to anyone.

What privacy are you talking about? The school is treating the child as part of the gender opposite to the one that corresponds to their biological sex. They are doing this publicly by using pronouns that correspond to that gender in front of everyone in the classroom, allowing the child to play on a team that corresponds to that gender (again not private) and allowing a child to use the bathrooms that correspond to that gender. It’s already public. The entire school treats that child as being that gender. It’s not private. So yes the parents should know. We are not discussing a situation where a child who is biologically male comes to a counselor or a teacher privately and tells them I feel like I’m a girl or I don’t want to be a boy.

If it's that public then shouldn't a parent already know?

Being "out" at school doesn't mean being "out" at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Says the side attacking the mom of a sexual assault survivor just trying her best to help her kid. Tell me again how you aren’t anti-girl.

It’s not a teacher’s fault that your child was sexually assaulted and it’s not their job to tell you it’s the job of the police

So you are apparently okay with the PPs attacking the mom for seeking critical health information to help her kid, and asking that schools continue to hide that information.

That is genuinely awful. Just awful.

I support the long proven procedure of contacting CPS, not parents if they think a child was abused.

DP. Because you are refusing to understand what the parent of the assault-surviving-DD was asking, she wanted to know that her DD had changed her pronouns at school. Which current guidelines did not require and which the new state guidelines do.

Good. As they should. No reason for letting schools do something that parents do not know about.

Basically, Youngkin wants to force schools to OUT kids. That is disgusting.

These are not kids who are attracted to members of the same sex. These are kids that feel their biological sex does not match who they feel they are. This is a big deal and parents should know. No one is asking for them to be “outed.” The issue is that they are “outed” by the school without their parents knowledge. They are choosing to identity as the sex that doesn’t correspond with their birth and the school is affirming this choice without informing the parent. This is a decision that will have a profound effect on the child mentally and emotionally. Therefore the child’s parents should know about it. If the school fears that the child will be in danger if they inform the parents then the should go directly to CPS which will then make their own decision over what steps to take. This is not an unreasonable thing to ask APS to do. APS asks for consent to give my child Tylenol, take them to a field trip but they won’t let me know if my girl start identifying as a boy? This makes no sense logically.

I don't think you understand the new policy. Any teacher could choose to out any trans student at any time, no matter what the parents want.

I’m the PP who wrote this comment and keeps making the same point. I understand the policy and I have said previously that I don’t support all of Youngkin’s policy. What I do support though is the parents’ right to know if their child is being treated as a gender that doesn’t correspond to their biological sex. Arlington’s policy takes away that right.

So you want the kid's school to "out" kids to their parents without their permission? How could that possibly be a good thing?

Stop using the world “out.” These are not gay or lesbian kids that are secretly attracted to members of the same sex, and the kid told one of the teachers. This is a situation where child is already presenting as trans in public - in the actual school. The school is actively choosing to affirm the gender the child is identifying as by allowing that child to use bathrooms of that gender, play sports in teams of that gender and refer to that child as that gender (using pronouns. The clinical term for this is social transition and it is the first step of gender affirming care which again is a clinical term. So yes the parents should know.

Of course, it's coming out.
https://www.chop.edu/health-resources/coming-out-parents-and-friends-transgender

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Pro trans in sports most certainly is anti- female.

Women should support women.

Instead of punching down on vulnerable people, why not fight the real issues that exist in women’s athletics - disproportionate opportunities, facilities, and funding/pay for women’s sports.

Actually I do support women, and that includes trans women. You just support *some* women. See the difference?

DP. Attacking each other for saying the same thing. Lol

This is what happens when you twist language. Then people fail to communicate or understand what each other is saying.

Talk about twisting language; transwomen are not women, they are transwomen. To say otherwise is a verifiable false and a lie.

Throughout history women have never oppressed males. The one punching down are males that have known physical advantages in sports and are demanding that girls and women step aside to make room for their feelings. Talk about entitlement and privilege!

And this nonsense by transactivists that sports are only about being a team. Fine, if winning is just footnote, these males and play on the men's team. No more punching down on girls and women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Pro trans in sports most certainly is anti- female.

Women should support women.

Instead of punching down on vulnerable people, why not fight the real issues that exist in women’s athletics - disproportionate opportunities, facilities, and funding/pay for women’s sports.

Actually I do support women, and that includes trans women. You just support *some* women. See the difference?

No, I meant women should support women. All women, including transgender women.

Transgender women are not women. They are transwomen.

How about transwomen support women and stop encroaching on our SEX SEGRAGATED spaces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Pro trans in sports most certainly is anti- female.

Women should support women.

Instead of punching down on vulnerable people, why not fight the real issues that exist in women’s athletics - disproportionate opportunities, facilities, and funding/pay for women’s sports.

Actually I do support women, and that includes trans women. You just support *some* women. See the difference?

No, I meant women should support women. All women, including transgender women.

And how do you define a woman?

People who identify with the "woman" gender.

Woman isn't an identity. It is an adult human female.

[Anonymous]

My god. Listen to yourselves. And debating on a message board no less. Go outside. Take a breath.

The kids are so much better at this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Pro trans in sports most certainly is anti- female.

Women should support women.

Instead of punching down on vulnerable people, why not fight the real issues that exist in women’s athletics - disproportionate opportunities, facilities, and funding/pay for women’s sports.

Actually I do support women, and that includes trans women. You just support *some* women. See the difference?

No, I meant women should support women. All women, including transgender women.

Transgender women are not women. They are transwomen.

How about transwomen support women and stop encroaching on our SEX SEGRAGATED spaces.

Let me guess- you’re not actually a woman. Just a Fox News goon who plays one on DCUM. Because if you were, you’d know that sex segregated spaces are historically where women’s opportunity has gone to die. Also, where women have done awful stuff to each other, like FGM, footbinding, and reinforcing the patriarchy like crabs in a barrel. Also where I’ve waited forever just to pee because there are never enough stalls.

In fact, this actual born female can’t think of a less safe and pleasant space to be than a sex segregated place that excludes trans people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This issue isn’t as cut and dry as everyone is making it out to be. My daughter never showed any signs of not fully embracing being a girl. She was violently assaulted and is now suffering from severe PTSD. Over a matter of weeks, my child went from asking me to order her cute dresses from Japan to suddenly deciding she was a boy. The school totally complied without our knowledge. We discovered this when we found a school worksheet she signed with another name. My child has been in extensive therapy and, while doing better as far as the PTSD, is still very uncomfortable with her body. To all the teachers and others on this thread: do you really think you know my child better than I do? Better than the army of therapists and doctors who see her regularly? Am I a transphobic bigot because I see the connection between the assault and her suddenly wanting to be a boy? And, wanting to back off and wait as opposed to diving in to transitioning? What others do with their children is none of my business - I don’t know their situation and I’m sure they are doing what they feel is best for their child. I wish others would acknowledge that the experience of others may be different.
Sorry, I just found many of these comments really upsetting…

I’m so sorry.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 13. I am fairly certain that as a neuro-atypical girl who was severely disassociating from my body as a result of the attack, a trans identity would have been extremely appealing at the time. I wish you and your child the best of luck.

Unfortunately trans activists like the ones posting believe they know what’s better for your child. They believe they know your child more than you.

That is the impression I am getting - that and it is somehow my fault. Oh, and previous poster: thank you so much for the kind words.

It's not clear what your issue is with the teachers. You think the teachers are helping your kid to get medication? Or...you're mad that the teachers are using a preferred name?

Good lord… I’m not an idiot and I don’t think the school is trying to give my kid freaking hormones. In my situation, a heads-up that my kid was requesting to be called by a male name that is completely unlike her own would have been nice. My child’s doctors could have been made aware sooner.

It’s not a teachers fault that your relationship with your child sucks.

See, these are who trans activists are. They simply do not care about the sexual assault of children or recovery from that assault. Kind of amazing how willing the PP is to just come out and prove the point immediately.

Well this thread went downhill fast. They anti trans folks can't have a convo without vilifying the parents and teachers who are standing up for trans kids rights and safety. Very disturbing.

Maybe you should stop harassing and blaming the parent of a child who has suffered a sexual assault and is doing her best to help that child. That’s extremely disturbing.

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation about your attacks

It is your side. It deserves to be called out and it is a recognizable pattern of behavior.

I’m tired of this anti-girl theology. I’m sick and tired of the gaslighting and the falsehoods. And I am sick of people who attack the parents of sexual assault victims who are disassociating from their bodies. Get your side to be less awful if you don’t want attacks. I’m not even someone who thinks these guidelines are well-considered, but I am so sick of this anti-girl belief system you demand we adopt.

pro trans is not anti girl

Pro trans in sports most certainly is anti- female.

Women should support women.

Instead of punching down on vulnerable people, why not fight the real issues that exist in women’s athletics - disproportionate opportunities, facilities, and funding/pay for women’s sports.

Actually I do support women, and that includes trans women. You just support *some* women. See the difference?

No, I meant women should support women. All women, including transgender women.

Transgender women are not women. They are transwomen.

How about transwomen support women and stop encroaching on our SEX SEGRAGATED spaces.

How about you take your TERF self to spelling class.