When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gaslight the whole family. Base family history on lies and secrets, what could go wrong?

You can keep calling it this but that doesn’t make it true. Of course sometimes it’s true but again the problem is generally terrible parenting not the decision to give your children age appropriate information

It’s exactly what it is. Spending your time, money, and mental space on another person that is not your spouse or child is not good parenting, nor is it putting your children first. That’s why people keep affairs secret. Affairs are wrong, so cheaters scurry around in the shadows and hide their actions and activities. They know it’s wrong so they hide it. Then, when they are found out, they want to further hide what they’ve done, so they pretend it’s something nobody should talk about. Meanwhile, the kids are not first and now the lives of the kids are torn apart and it’s considered improper to tell kids the truth about their family and their lives.

Cheaters on this thread clearly show they don’t understand their children deserve truth and honesty, and that’s why the cycle of abuse continues. Cheating is abuse, it’s lies, it’s selfishness.

Basing a family history on lies, outright lies or lies of omission, to cover up what a parent has done to destroy a family, is wrong.

Here what our truth would be. My honesty to my kids:

Kid one was born with special needs. He zapped all of our energy, especially in his first ten years. We had a second easier kid but between the two we mistakenly left no time for us. We both share blame in that.

We tried to rekindle but my wife eventually made clear she just couldn't get into a mental space with me to enjoy intimacy. We eventually tried scheduling it once a month to make sure it happened but it was still awkward. I eventually stopped initiating and she was fine with it. We went 3 years in a sexless marriage.

I found a woman who was actually interested in me for me and what started as mutual affection grew physical. I slept with her before ending my marriage which was wrong but was the catalyst I needed to realize wife and I shouldn't force this anymore.

So is this all appropriate to tell the kids? Or just DAD IS A EVIL Cheater!!

Did you discuss with your exW that you wanted an open marriage and how she would look at it? And after that what, she still didn't want to work on sex life or do a lipo?

Did you put all your assets into a trust for your children to inherit. or the nice woman who likes your sex will get 50% and will birth you another "healthy" baby?
You are disgusting: my exH also cheated as I was all tied up with our autistic son at home, taking care of multiple family businesses. Maybe you did try to go therapy with your exW, but my exH didn't. He just live a parallel second life.

I transferred 100k each to each kids college account before I announced we are separating and my ex was mad about it. She wanted the money to go to her.

I have a girlfriend, nothing serious, and I imagine most of my money will go to my kids. Sorry your exDH didnt put his kids first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gaslight the whole family. Base family history on lies and secrets, what could go wrong?

You can keep calling it this but that doesn’t make it true. Of course sometimes it’s true but again the problem is generally terrible parenting not the decision to give your children age appropriate information

It’s exactly what it is. Spending your time, money, and mental space on another person that is not your spouse or child is not good parenting, nor is it putting your children first. That’s why people keep affairs secret. Affairs are wrong, so cheaters scurry around in the shadows and hide their actions and activities. They know it’s wrong so they hide it. Then, when they are found out, they want to further hide what they’ve done, so they pretend it’s something nobody should talk about. Meanwhile, the kids are not first and now the lives of the kids are torn apart and it’s considered improper to tell kids the truth about their family and their lives.

Cheaters on this thread clearly show they don’t understand their children deserve truth and honesty, and that’s why the cycle of abuse continues. Cheating is abuse, it’s lies, it’s selfishness.

Basing a family history on lies, outright lies or lies of omission, to cover up what a parent has done to destroy a family, is wrong.

Here what our truth would be. My honesty to my kids:

Kid one was born with special needs. He zapped all of our energy, especially in his first ten years. We had a second easier kid but between the two we mistakenly left no time for us. We both share blame in that.

We tried to rekindle but my wife eventually made clear she just couldn't get into a mental space with me to enjoy intimacy. We eventually tried scheduling it once a month to make sure it happened but it was still awkward. I eventually stopped initiating and she was fine with it. We went 3 years in a sexless marriage.

I found a woman who was actually interested in me for me and what started as mutual affection grew physical. I slept with her before ending my marriage which was wrong but was the catalyst I needed to realize wife and I shouldn't force this anymore.

So is this all appropriate to tell the kids? Or just DAD IS A EVIL Cheater!!

Did you discuss with your exW that you wanted an open marriage and how she would look at it? And after that what, she still didn't want to work on sex life or do a lipo?

Did you put all your assets into a trust for your children to inherit. or the nice woman who likes your sex will get 50% and will birth you another "healthy" baby?
You are disgusting: my exH also cheated as I was all tied up with our autistic son at home, taking care of multiple family businesses. Maybe you did try to go therapy with your exW, but my exH didn't. He just live a parallel second life.

I transferred 100k each to each kids college account before I announced we are separating and my ex was mad about it. She wanted the money to go to her.

I have a girlfriend, nothing serious, and I imagine most of my money will go to my kids. Sorry your exDH didnt put his kids first.

Legally I think you have to. You can’t just take out money without her authorization while married. Once the division is settled you can take additional money out for the kids though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gaslight the whole family. Base family history on lies and secrets, what could go wrong?

You can keep calling it this but that doesn’t make it true. Of course sometimes it’s true but again the problem is generally terrible parenting not the decision to give your children age appropriate information

It’s exactly what it is. Spending your time, money, and mental space on another person that is not your spouse or child is not good parenting, nor is it putting your children first. That’s why people keep affairs secret. Affairs are wrong, so cheaters scurry around in the shadows and hide their actions and activities. They know it’s wrong so they hide it. Then, when they are found out, they want to further hide what they’ve done, so they pretend it’s something nobody should talk about. Meanwhile, the kids are not first and now the lives of the kids are torn apart and it’s considered improper to tell kids the truth about their family and their lives.

Cheaters on this thread clearly show they don’t understand their children deserve truth and honesty, and that’s why the cycle of abuse continues. Cheating is abuse, it’s lies, it’s selfishness.

Basing a family history on lies, outright lies or lies of omission, to cover up what a parent has done to destroy a family, is wrong.

Here what our truth would be. My honesty to my kids:

Kid one was born with special needs. He zapped all of our energy, especially in his first ten years. We had a second easier kid but between the two we mistakenly left no time for us. We both share blame in that.

We tried to rekindle but my wife eventually made clear she just couldn't get into a mental space with me to enjoy intimacy. We eventually tried scheduling it once a month to make sure it happened but it was still awkward. I eventually stopped initiating and she was fine with it. We went 3 years in a sexless marriage.

I found a woman who was actually interested in me for me and what started as mutual affection grew physical. I slept with her before ending my marriage which was wrong but was the catalyst I needed to realize wife and I shouldn't force this anymore.

So is this all appropriate to tell the kids? Or just DAD IS A EVIL Cheater!!

The mother of your special needs children is exhausted and your solution is to find a woman interested in you sexually? You would sit your kids down and say their birth and subsequent care ruined your marriage so you found a woman who would have sex with you? Are you for real?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was not born in America, so I can't relate to this American thing where cheating is seen as the highest level of evil, but then also Americans are willing to vote for a president who cheated on his wife with a porn star, while his wife was pregnant.

This! Americans are hypocrites and fear-based. All these people who want to believe cheaters are the devil incarnate and can’t ever be good parents are just terrified about this happening to them or are projecting their own experience onto everyone else, which is very ego-driven. The truth is that cheating hurts people, and is not a desirable behavior, but also doesn’t define who someone is. And also often happens for many reasons related to very dysfunctional partners. That’s just the truth. Not an excuse, but the truth. And physical and emotional abuse without cheating does not make someone better. Americans have a puritanical view of marriage that lives in a fantasy land.

Marriage means 2 people have an exclusive emotional, physically intimate, legal and financial relationship. It’s why people get married! What country do people get married and promise to forsake all others but step out whenever they want…but keep that behavior hidden and secret from their spouse?

Cheaters: do not get married. If you get married and can’t stop having sex with other people, get a divorce and take care of your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never once seen a cheating parent advocate for telling, which tells me that hiding the truth is not really about the best interest of the kids.

My parents cheated. I did not find out until my late 40s. I would have been fine never knowing. I think it was in our best interest

You aren’t a cheating parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gaslight the whole family. Base family history on lies and secrets, what could go wrong?

You can keep calling it this but that doesn’t make it true. Of course sometimes it’s true but again the problem is generally terrible parenting not the decision to give your children age appropriate information

It’s exactly what it is. Spending your time, money, and mental space on another person that is not your spouse or child is not good parenting, nor is it putting your children first. That’s why people keep affairs secret. Affairs are wrong, so cheaters scurry around in the shadows and hide their actions and activities. They know it’s wrong so they hide it. Then, when they are found out, they want to further hide what they’ve done, so they pretend it’s something nobody should talk about. Meanwhile, the kids are not first and now the lives of the kids are torn apart and it’s considered improper to tell kids the truth about their family and their lives.

Cheaters on this thread clearly show they don’t understand their children deserve truth and honesty, and that’s why the cycle of abuse continues. Cheating is abuse, it’s lies, it’s selfishness.

Basing a family history on lies, outright lies or lies of omission, to cover up what a parent has done to destroy a family, is wrong.

Here what our truth would be. My honesty to my kids:

Kid one was born with special needs. He zapped all of our energy, especially in his first ten years. We had a second easier kid but between the two we mistakenly left no time for us. We both share blame in that.

We tried to rekindle but my wife eventually made clear she just couldn't get into a mental space with me to enjoy intimacy. We eventually tried scheduling it once a month to make sure it happened but it was still awkward. I eventually stopped initiating and she was fine with it. We went 3 years in a sexless marriage.

I found a woman who was actually interested in me for me and what started as mutual affection grew physical. I slept with her before ending my marriage which was wrong but was the catalyst I needed to realize wife and I shouldn't force this anymore.

So is this all appropriate to tell the kids? Or just DAD IS A EVIL Cheater!!

Did you discuss with your exW that you wanted an open marriage and how she would look at it? And after that what, she still didn't want to work on sex life or do a lipo?

Did you put all your assets into a trust for your children to inherit. or the nice woman who likes your sex will get 50% and will birth you another "healthy" baby?
You are disgusting: my exH also cheated as I was all tied up with our autistic son at home, taking care of multiple family businesses. Maybe you did try to go therapy with your exW, but my exH didn't. He just live a parallel second life.

I transferred 100k each to each kids college account before I announced we are separating and my ex was mad about it. She wanted the money to go to her.

I have a girlfriend, nothing serious, and I imagine most of my money will go to my kids. Sorry your exDH didnt put his kids first.

Of course on this thread all dads just let it money rain at their kids from previous marriage. My exH is a multi millionaire: he won’t buy our son even a free points ticket to visit a friend . Because that would save money fir me and he hates me. The only terms he follows/largely are of our marital settlement agreement.

And yes, you could not move that much money without your exW consent. She as an equal custodian has full rights to marital assets and the right to determine the priorities how this money should be spent. The first priority is a house and food for kids. Does she have as nice of a house as you do ? She could use her 50%=$100k for a downpayment or buy you out from family house and have a lower mortgage.

You kind of whipped her off after many years of her time spent on raising your kids, one with special needs. And now pretend you are a good parent. I would have dragged you through courts for such assets diversion!

[Anonymous]

This is just the usual DCUM virtuous cheater fantasizing. Anyone with common sense knows that is largely a myth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gaslight the whole family. Base family history on lies and secrets, what could go wrong?

You can keep calling it this but that doesn’t make it true. Of course sometimes it’s true but again the problem is generally terrible parenting not the decision to give your children age appropriate information

It’s exactly what it is. Spending your time, money, and mental space on another person that is not your spouse or child is not good parenting, nor is it putting your children first. That’s why people keep affairs secret. Affairs are wrong, so cheaters scurry around in the shadows and hide their actions and activities. They know it’s wrong so they hide it. Then, when they are found out, they want to further hide what they’ve done, so they pretend it’s something nobody should talk about. Meanwhile, the kids are not first and now the lives of the kids are torn apart and it’s considered improper to tell kids the truth about their family and their lives.

Cheaters on this thread clearly show they don’t understand their children deserve truth and honesty, and that’s why the cycle of abuse continues. Cheating is abuse, it’s lies, it’s selfishness.

Basing a family history on lies, outright lies or lies of omission, to cover up what a parent has done to destroy a family, is wrong.

Here what our truth would be. My honesty to my kids:

Kid one was born with special needs. He zapped all of our energy, especially in his first ten years. We had a second easier kid but between the two we mistakenly left no time for us. We both share blame in that.

We tried to rekindle but my wife eventually made clear she just couldn't get into a mental space with me to enjoy intimacy. We eventually tried scheduling it once a month to make sure it happened but it was still awkward. I eventually stopped initiating and she was fine with it. We went 3 years in a sexless marriage.

I found a woman who was actually interested in me for me and what started as mutual affection grew physical. I slept with her before ending my marriage which was wrong but was the catalyst I needed to realize wife and I shouldn't force this anymore.

So is this all appropriate to tell the kids? Or just DAD IS A EVIL Cheater!!

Did you discuss with your exW that you wanted an open marriage and how she would look at it? And after that what, she still didn't want to work on sex life or do a lipo?

Did you put all your assets into a trust for your children to inherit. or the nice woman who likes your sex will get 50% and will birth you another "healthy" baby?
You are disgusting: my exH also cheated as I was all tied up with our autistic son at home, taking care of multiple family businesses. Maybe you did try to go therapy with your exW, but my exH didn't. He just live a parallel second life.

I transferred 100k each to each kids college account before I announced we are separating and my ex was mad about it. She wanted the money to go to her.

I have a girlfriend, nothing serious, and I imagine most of my money will go to my kids. Sorry your exDH didnt put his kids first.

Why couldn’t you just continue sleeping with GF without imploding your kids life ? Seriously, you broke their lives over sex! And nobody would divorce if it wasn’t serious dont lie.

$100k is not sufficient for a good college it’s nothing .

Your GF is in for it for your money, silly you !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is just the usual DCUM virtuous cheater fantasizing. Anyone with common sense knows that is largely a myth.

Exactly - I have dozens of divorced friends and colleagues. Dads are mostly financially absent from their kids life. Just literally tell kids “go to Nova online for college I don’t owe it by law”. And then moms pay fir good education etc taking home equity or driving Uber

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just the usual DCUM virtuous cheater fantasizing. Anyone with common sense knows that is largely a myth.

Exactly - I have dozens of divorced friends and colleagues. Dads are mostly financially absent from their kids life. Just literally tell kids “go to Nova online for college I don’t owe it by law”. And then moms pay fir good education etc taking home equity or driving Uber

Yup. I’ve seen marriages break up because of cheating and the cheater parents (both men and women) disappear and largely abandon the kids. I simply don’t believe there are good cheater parents. It’s a DCUM myth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gaslight the whole family. Base family history on lies and secrets, what could go wrong?

You can keep calling it this but that doesn’t make it true. Of course sometimes it’s true but again the problem is generally terrible parenting not the decision to give your children age appropriate information

It’s exactly what it is. Spending your time, money, and mental space on another person that is not your spouse or child is not good parenting, nor is it putting your children first. That’s why people keep affairs secret. Affairs are wrong, so cheaters scurry around in the shadows and hide their actions and activities. They know it’s wrong so they hide it. Then, when they are found out, they want to further hide what they’ve done, so they pretend it’s something nobody should talk about. Meanwhile, the kids are not first and now the lives of the kids are torn apart and it’s considered improper to tell kids the truth about their family and their lives.

Cheaters on this thread clearly show they don’t understand their children deserve truth and honesty, and that’s why the cycle of abuse continues. Cheating is abuse, it’s lies, it’s selfishness.

Basing a family history on lies, outright lies or lies of omission, to cover up what a parent has done to destroy a family, is wrong.

Here what our truth would be. My honesty to my kids:

Kid one was born with special needs. He zapped all of our energy, especially in his first ten years. We had a second easier kid but between the two we mistakenly left no time for us. We both share blame in that.

We tried to rekindle but my wife eventually made clear she just couldn't get into a mental space with me to enjoy intimacy. We eventually tried scheduling it once a month to make sure it happened but it was still awkward. I eventually stopped initiating and she was fine with it. We went 3 years in a sexless marriage.

I found a woman who was actually interested in me for me and what started as mutual affection grew physical. I slept with her before ending my marriage which was wrong but was the catalyst I needed to realize wife and I shouldn't force this anymore.

So is this all appropriate to tell the kids? Or just DAD IS A EVIL Cheater!!

Did you discuss with your exW that you wanted an open marriage and how she would look at it? And after that what, she still didn't want to work on sex life or do a lipo?

Did you put all your assets into a trust for your children to inherit. or the nice woman who likes your sex will get 50% and will birth you another "healthy" baby?
You are disgusting: my exH also cheated as I was all tied up with our autistic son at home, taking care of multiple family businesses. Maybe you did try to go therapy with your exW, but my exH didn't. He just live a parallel second life.

I transferred 100k each to each kids college account before I announced we are separating and my ex was mad about it. She wanted the money to go to her.

I have a girlfriend, nothing serious, and I imagine most of my money will go to my kids. Sorry your exDH didnt put his kids first.

Legally I think you have to. You can’t just take out money without her authorization while married. Once the division is settled you can take additional money out for the kids though.

This dude doesn’t seem divorced. Hopefully when he does get divorced, his wife’s attorney will take care of his money transfer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gaslight the whole family. Base family history on lies and secrets, what could go wrong?

You can keep calling it this but that doesn’t make it true. Of course sometimes it’s true but again the problem is generally terrible parenting not the decision to give your children age appropriate information

It’s exactly what it is. Spending your time, money, and mental space on another person that is not your spouse or child is not good parenting, nor is it putting your children first. That’s why people keep affairs secret. Affairs are wrong, so cheaters scurry around in the shadows and hide their actions and activities. They know it’s wrong so they hide it. Then, when they are found out, they want to further hide what they’ve done, so they pretend it’s something nobody should talk about. Meanwhile, the kids are not first and now the lives of the kids are torn apart and it’s considered improper to tell kids the truth about their family and their lives.

Cheaters on this thread clearly show they don’t understand their children deserve truth and honesty, and that’s why the cycle of abuse continues. Cheating is abuse, it’s lies, it’s selfishness.

Basing a family history on lies, outright lies or lies of omission, to cover up what a parent has done to destroy a family, is wrong.

Here what our truth would be. My honesty to my kids:

Kid one was born with special needs. He zapped all of our energy, especially in his first ten years. We had a second easier kid but between the two we mistakenly left no time for us. We both share blame in that.

We tried to rekindle but my wife eventually made clear she just couldn't get into a mental space with me to enjoy intimacy. We eventually tried scheduling it once a month to make sure it happened but it was still awkward. I eventually stopped initiating and she was fine with it. We went 3 years in a sexless marriage.

I found a woman who was actually interested in me for me and what started as mutual affection grew physical. I slept with her before ending my marriage which was wrong but was the catalyst I needed to realize wife and I shouldn't force this anymore.

So is this all appropriate to tell the kids? Or just DAD IS A EVIL Cheater!!

Did you discuss with your exW that you wanted an open marriage and how she would look at it? And after that what, she still didn't want to work on sex life or do a lipo?

Did you put all your assets into a trust for your children to inherit. or the nice woman who likes your sex will get 50% and will birth you another "healthy" baby?
You are disgusting: my exH also cheated as I was all tied up with our autistic son at home, taking care of multiple family businesses. Maybe you did try to go therapy with your exW, but my exH didn't. He just live a parallel second life.

I transferred 100k each to each kids college account before I announced we are separating and my ex was mad about it. She wanted the money to go to her.

I have a girlfriend, nothing serious, and I imagine most of my money will go to my kids. Sorry your exDH didnt put his kids first.

Why couldn’t you just continue sleeping with GF without imploding your kids life ? Seriously, you broke their lives over sex! And nobody would divorce if it wasn’t serious dont lie.

$100k is not sufficient for a good college it’s nothing .

Your GF is in for it for your money, silly you !

The pattern I see on here is women don't owe their DH sex and if he isn't content being sexless, he is the monster for leaving her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gaslight the whole family. Base family history on lies and secrets, what could go wrong?

You can keep calling it this but that doesn’t make it true. Of course sometimes it’s true but again the problem is generally terrible parenting not the decision to give your children age appropriate information

It’s exactly what it is. Spending your time, money, and mental space on another person that is not your spouse or child is not good parenting, nor is it putting your children first. That’s why people keep affairs secret. Affairs are wrong, so cheaters scurry around in the shadows and hide their actions and activities. They know it’s wrong so they hide it. Then, when they are found out, they want to further hide what they’ve done, so they pretend it’s something nobody should talk about. Meanwhile, the kids are not first and now the lives of the kids are torn apart and it’s considered improper to tell kids the truth about their family and their lives.

Cheaters on this thread clearly show they don’t understand their children deserve truth and honesty, and that’s why the cycle of abuse continues. Cheating is abuse, it’s lies, it’s selfishness.

Basing a family history on lies, outright lies or lies of omission, to cover up what a parent has done to destroy a family, is wrong.

Here what our truth would be. My honesty to my kids:

Kid one was born with special needs. He zapped all of our energy, especially in his first ten years. We had a second easier kid but between the two we mistakenly left no time for us. We both share blame in that.

We tried to rekindle but my wife eventually made clear she just couldn't get into a mental space with me to enjoy intimacy. We eventually tried scheduling it once a month to make sure it happened but it was still awkward. I eventually stopped initiating and she was fine with it. We went 3 years in a sexless marriage.

I found a woman who was actually interested in me for me and what started as mutual affection grew physical. I slept with her before ending my marriage which was wrong but was the catalyst I needed to realize wife and I shouldn't force this anymore.

So is this all appropriate to tell the kids? Or just DAD IS A EVIL Cheater!!

Did you discuss with your exW that you wanted an open marriage and how she would look at it? And after that what, she still didn't want to work on sex life or do a lipo?

Did you put all your assets into a trust for your children to inherit. or the nice woman who likes your sex will get 50% and will birth you another "healthy" baby?
You are disgusting: my exH also cheated as I was all tied up with our autistic son at home, taking care of multiple family businesses. Maybe you did try to go therapy with your exW, but my exH didn't. He just live a parallel second life.

I transferred 100k each to each kids college account before I announced we are separating and my ex was mad about it. She wanted the money to go to her.

I have a girlfriend, nothing serious, and I imagine most of my money will go to my kids. Sorry your exDH didnt put his kids first.

Why couldn’t you just continue sleeping with GF without imploding your kids life ? Seriously, you broke their lives over sex! And nobody would divorce if it wasn’t serious dont lie.

$100k is not sufficient for a good college it’s nothing .

Your GF is in for it for your money, silly you !

The pattern I see on here is women don't owe their DH sex and if he isn't content being sexless, he is the monster for leaving her.

He didn't just leave her: he moved out from family home away from his kids or his exW is now looking for a separate home so he could have a place to fornicate with his GF. He also didn't respond to my question if an open marriage was discussed with the wife. In this case it would be a sound temporarily solution until kids are off to college. He said the GF wasn't anything serious, right?

But no, the guy announces separation, prior to that diverts $100K from his official wife, and then brags here how good of a dad he is.

The more I read it, the more I conclude that men are not worthy more than their paychecks and women should have just one child and stop there, focusing on career and personal pleasures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gaslight the whole family. Base family history on lies and secrets, what could go wrong?

You can keep calling it this but that doesn’t make it true. Of course sometimes it’s true but again the problem is generally terrible parenting not the decision to give your children age appropriate information

It’s exactly what it is. Spending your time, money, and mental space on another person that is not your spouse or child is not good parenting, nor is it putting your children first. That’s why people keep affairs secret. Affairs are wrong, so cheaters scurry around in the shadows and hide their actions and activities. They know it’s wrong so they hide it. Then, when they are found out, they want to further hide what they’ve done, so they pretend it’s something nobody should talk about. Meanwhile, the kids are not first and now the lives of the kids are torn apart and it’s considered improper to tell kids the truth about their family and their lives.

Cheaters on this thread clearly show they don’t understand their children deserve truth and honesty, and that’s why the cycle of abuse continues. Cheating is abuse, it’s lies, it’s selfishness.

Basing a family history on lies, outright lies or lies of omission, to cover up what a parent has done to destroy a family, is wrong.

Here what our truth would be. My honesty to my kids:

Kid one was born with special needs. He zapped all of our energy, especially in his first ten years. We had a second easier kid but between the two we mistakenly left no time for us. We both share blame in that.

We tried to rekindle but my wife eventually made clear she just couldn't get into a mental space with me to enjoy intimacy. We eventually tried scheduling it once a month to make sure it happened but it was still awkward. I eventually stopped initiating and she was fine with it. We went 3 years in a sexless marriage.

I found a woman who was actually interested in me for me and what started as mutual affection grew physical. I slept with her before ending my marriage which was wrong but was the catalyst I needed to realize wife and I shouldn't force this anymore.

So is this all appropriate to tell the kids? Or just DAD IS A EVIL Cheater!!

Did you discuss with your exW that you wanted an open marriage and how she would look at it? And after that what, she still didn't want to work on sex life or do a lipo?

Did you put all your assets into a trust for your children to inherit. or the nice woman who likes your sex will get 50% and will birth you another "healthy" baby?
You are disgusting: my exH also cheated as I was all tied up with our autistic son at home, taking care of multiple family businesses. Maybe you did try to go therapy with your exW, but my exH didn't. He just live a parallel second life.

I transferred 100k each to each kids college account before I announced we are separating and my ex was mad about it. She wanted the money to go to her.

I have a girlfriend, nothing serious, and I imagine most of my money will go to my kids. Sorry your exDH didnt put his kids first.

Why couldn’t you just continue sleeping with GF without imploding your kids life ? Seriously, you broke their lives over sex! And nobody would divorce if it wasn’t serious dont lie.

$100k is not sufficient for a good college it’s nothing .

Your GF is in for it for your money, silly you !

The pattern I see on here is women don't owe their DH sex and if he isn't content being sexless, he is the monster for leaving her.

If either husband or wife doesn’t feel their sexual needs are being met in marriage, they should have a conversation with their spouse and try marriage counseling. They should tell their spouse they need more sex and if that doesn’t happen, they will file for divorce. They should not find a new sexual partner while still married, and secretly have sex with that new partner while staying married. That’s called cake eating. You want your marriage and sex on the side.

Nobody has to stay married. Divorce happens. But get divorced before you find a new sexual partner. Also, your spouse might say, go ahead, have affairs, I am ok with that. That’s up to him or her. But consent by both partners is necessary.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Gaslight the whole family. Base family history on lies and secrets, what could go wrong?

You can keep calling it this but that doesn’t make it true. Of course sometimes it’s true but again the problem is generally terrible parenting not the decision to give your children age appropriate information

It’s exactly what it is. Spending your time, money, and mental space on another person that is not your spouse or child is not good parenting, nor is it putting your children first. That’s why people keep affairs secret. Affairs are wrong, so cheaters scurry around in the shadows and hide their actions and activities. They know it’s wrong so they hide it. Then, when they are found out, they want to further hide what they’ve done, so they pretend it’s something nobody should talk about. Meanwhile, the kids are not first and now the lives of the kids are torn apart and it’s considered improper to tell kids the truth about their family and their lives.

Cheaters on this thread clearly show they don’t understand their children deserve truth and honesty, and that’s why the cycle of abuse continues. Cheating is abuse, it’s lies, it’s selfishness.

Basing a family history on lies, outright lies or lies of omission, to cover up what a parent has done to destroy a family, is wrong.

Here what our truth would be. My honesty to my kids:

Kid one was born with special needs. He zapped all of our energy, especially in his first ten years. We had a second easier kid but between the two we mistakenly left no time for us. We both share blame in that.

We tried to rekindle but my wife eventually made clear she just couldn't get into a mental space with me to enjoy intimacy. We eventually tried scheduling it once a month to make sure it happened but it was still awkward. I eventually stopped initiating and she was fine with it. We went 3 years in a sexless marriage.

I found a woman who was actually interested in me for me and what started as mutual affection grew physical. I slept with her before ending my marriage which was wrong but was the catalyst I needed to realize wife and I shouldn't force this anymore.

So is this all appropriate to tell the kids? Or just DAD IS A EVIL Cheater!!

Did you discuss with your exW that you wanted an open marriage and how she would look at it? And after that what, she still didn't want to work on sex life or do a lipo?

Did you put all your assets into a trust for your children to inherit. or the nice woman who likes your sex will get 50% and will birth you another "healthy" baby?
You are disgusting: my exH also cheated as I was all tied up with our autistic son at home, taking care of multiple family businesses. Maybe you did try to go therapy with your exW, but my exH didn't. He just live a parallel second life.

I transferred 100k each to each kids college account before I announced we are separating and my ex was mad about it. She wanted the money to go to her.

I have a girlfriend, nothing serious, and I imagine most of my money will go to my kids. Sorry your exDH didnt put his kids first.

Why couldn’t you just continue sleeping with GF without imploding your kids life ? Seriously, you broke their lives over sex! And nobody would divorce if it wasn’t serious dont lie.

$100k is not sufficient for a good college it’s nothing .

Your GF is in for it for your money, silly you !

The pattern I see on here is women don't owe their DH sex and if he isn't content being sexless, he is the monster for leaving her.

If either husband or wife doesn’t feel their sexual needs are being met in marriage, they should have a conversation with their spouse and try marriage counseling. They should tell their spouse they need more sex and if that doesn’t happen, they will file for divorce. They should not find a new sexual partner while still married, and secretly have sex with that new partner while staying married. That’s called cake eating. You want your marriage and sex on the side.

Nobody has to stay married. Divorce happens. But get divorced before you find a new sexual partner. Also, your spouse might say, go ahead, have affairs, I am ok with that. That’s up to him or her. But consent by both partners is necessary.

That's because they all lie about marriages being sexless (including the male PP). They do sleep with unsuspecting wives, they got bored or can't tell wife that her tits are saggy or p.y not as tight anymore. So they go and sleep on a side. Or they are just promiscuous (and many man are!).

Cheaters are bullshitters.