When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And when they start treating their spouse badly or themselves?

I have no idea how this is relevant to the conversation. Are you saying that cheating is genetic and they need to be informed of it like they would a predisposition to alcohol? Because THAT is cray cray.

There are studies that show there is a genetic link.

People who are unfaithful to their partner may be genetically predisposed that way. Certain genes linked to sensation-seeking behaviors have been identified by researchers from State University of New York in Binghamton. Their findings are published in the scientific journal PLoS ONE (Public Library of Science) (real science article).

https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/news/20101201/is-infidelity-genetic

Most cheaters I know do have accompanying other issues: impulse control, risk-taking behavior, or alcohol problems, etc. And, of course, bipolar and narcissism also play into it.

+1. This is absolutely true, in every aspect. Not only have I seen it play out in my own family, I have seen it amongst friends who have absolutely zero idea that I know (in some cases, I knew before the spouse knew). Denial is the number one cause of further issues in the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mature, responsible, healthy parenting doesn’t involve sharing intimate secrets about your relationship with your kids.

Mature, responsible, healthy parenting doesn’t involve lying to your partner and expecting them to keep secrets about your relationships with other people from your family. Healthy relationships and healthy families are not built on secrets and lies.

Why should either partner have intimate relationships that need to be secret?

An intimate relationship with a person you are not married to has nothing to do with the faithful partner. They made no decision about their partner having intimate relationships outside of the marriage, that extramarital relationship was completely a decision by the unfaithful partner and the marital relationship.