I've done so much more than he has in life
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Anonymous
| New man. He was married for 20 years and pretty much just did the family man thing that whole time. Meanwhile, I've been to grad school, travelled, have had relationships basically just done LOTS of stuff. He does have hobbies, friends and interests and he's very smart and we like the same types of things but I'm wondering will this imbalance in life experience be a problem? |
Anonymous
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He probably has experiences that you don't. There's a lot to be learned from staying the course and focusing on one thing for a very long time.
I think your dismissive attitude towards his life experiences is more likely to be the problem than any actual "imbalance". |
Anonymous
| I don't see why it would be. It would be one thing if you said you had different interests, he didn't have the same kind of curiosity about the world that caused you to seek these experiences, etc. Perhaps now that (I presume, given that he was married for 20 years) he's largely free of the hands-on family-man stuff, he'll have an interest in doing traveling and such, and you can introduce him to your favorites. |
Anonymous
| Did you have kids, OP? He has had different experiences than you have, but that doesn't mean he didn't have experiences. |
Anonymous
| If you don't think much of the life he's chosen to lead up to this point, it will definitely be a problem for you and over time you might, unfairly, make it a problem for him. |
Anonymous
| New woman. She's been single her whole life and pretty much just did the single girl thing that whole time. Meanwhile, I've held down a job, took care of my house and yard, have been a committed father, basically just done LOTS of stuff. She does have hobbies, friends and interests and she's very smart and we like the same types of things but I'm wondering will this imbalance in life experience be a problem? |
Anonymous
| Eventually he will feel like he has another daughter who has done nothing but go to school and vacation and you will seem like a burden. |
Anonymous
| Encourage him to go have those fun experiences while you do the family thing. Meet back in 20 years and compare notes. |
Anonymous
| He had obligations and you didn't. So you look down on him ? I'm thinking he's going to tire of you. |
Anonymous
| Do you get a sense of how he feels about it? For better or worse, I've led a very interesting life, and I have been in relationships where it's been an issue. I don't like constantly hearing: "oh I'm so boring compared to you" or "I don't have any good stories like that." If I'm with someone than that person is interesting to me, but I don't like dealing with the low self-esteem/comparison thing. |
Anonymous
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You are better than him in your mind. Please do not bother with him. It would be best for both of you in the long run.
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Anonymous
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You did lots of little things: travel, grad school, relationships. He did one big thing: raising a family. One option isn't more or less life experience than the other.
If you have such a negative attitude towards his choice to raise a family, how are you going to get along with his children? He sounds great. I bet someone who actually values him and his experiences will snap him up! |
Anonymous
| OP, what did you study in grad school? |
Anonymous
| Dude. This is DC Urban Moms and Dads. Do you really think people are going to be dismissive of a parent's life experience? |
Anonymous
| Are you serious? Your like the guy who I recently met. He said, " I've accomplished so much more than half of Americans in my 31 years." He was in the navy and started a business. I mean who says this stuff? Arrogant much? |