Punishing your child by not letting them a birthday party last minute
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| A parent of one of the THREE children invited to my child's (6th) party just called to say that due to misbehavior earlier in the weekend, the child would not be coming to the party this afternoon. The invitation made clear that this was a very small party--in fact, it stated exactly who was invited. My child was counting on this child's attendance, I planned by buying favors and little costumes, etc. This would obviously be different if we were hosting a large party where no one would really notice. I think a punishment that affects others like this should be off limits. Also, I am so over birthday parties. I think I am protesting next year. |
Anonymous
| The parent of that child is stunningly selfish and self-centered. |
Anonymous
| That parent is rude. So sorry for your child. |
Anonymous
| Super rude |
Anonymous
| I would call back and tell her how your son is so disappointed and explicitly point out that her child was one of three invited and that could she please reconsider. If I were you, I would be pissed. |
Anonymous
|
My sil did something like this with my niece. We were in our hometown for my dd's baptism, and everyone got together for dinner the night before. Niece wasn't allowed to come because of some transgression. We only saw them a few times a year; it seemed like a really inappropriate punishment.
I'm sorry op. I'd be pretty irritated in your shoes too. |
Anonymous
| I'll play Devils advocate. No, the parent should not have used your birthday party as a punishment, but what if the kids' behavior was egregiously bad all weekend and bringing the kid to the party would have meant an egregiously misbehaving kid at your party? |
Anonymous
+1 I am so sorry for your child, OP. The mother of the other child is horrible. |
Anonymous
| I'm going to disagree. The mother of the other child did what she felt was right for her child. She is actually disciplining her child. In the future, you can choose to not invite this family to events. This sends a very clear message to the misbehaving child that you are not rewarded for poor behavior. It also sends a message to the birthday child-- children are punished when they misbehave and not rewarded by things like parties. |
Anonymous
| Not okay. |
Anonymous
You sound like a lunatic. |
Anonymous
|
I don't think I would've made the same choice; HOWEVER, I really don't think it's rude or a sign of horrible parenting. I think she disciplined the child by taking away something the child wanted. I guess it depends on what the 6yo did that led to her decision.
But I think your kid's birthday party isn't the center of everyone's universe, and you should accept that. |
Anonymous
| OP here. I would have taken away TV or something and explained that the only reason she was going to the party was because we keep our commitments to friends. What better way to teach your child that the world revolves around them than to make other people's parties about them and their enjoyment? I just don't parent like that at all. |
Anonymous
| I think it is rude, but I would just never invite the family again and move on to focus on friendships with others. Lots of nice kids and parents out there, no need to waste further thought on this bunch. |
Anonymous
+1000 |