Reply to Can’t get husband to help with Easter.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]F the patriarchy and the expectation that I work FT and handle every family obligation and holiday.

To those who say don’t do it, well you’re depriving your kids of normal holiday rituals. You’ll also be sacrificing your marriage since the societal expectation is that as a woman you create a nice home life. If you don’t go along with this, you’ll struggle to have friends and your DH might replace you.

It’s a scam and the only solution is to NOT HAVE CHILDREN, which plenty of young women have realized. [/quote]

If Easter was important to me I would have married a Christian man who wanted to celebrate it. I don't get upset about not celebrating holidays that mean nothing to me and I don't raise my kids with expectations that they will receive gifts for holidays we don't celebrate.[/quote]

Then this post isn’t for you. You don’t celebrate Easter.

[/quote]

DP This post does raise the topic of whether celebrating Easter a certain way is a requirement for being a good parent.

Specifically:

Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = good parenting
Non-Easter themed candy (as determined by one spouse) = bad parenting[/quote]

This is on a relationship site.  It isn’t about parenting.  
Even if they weren’t his kids, and a neighbor asked him to pick up candy to fill Easter eggs with, it would be weird for him to wait two weeks, give them random candy from the checkout counter, and be pissed if they didn’t use it.  [/quote]

But would OP still be complaining about her husband if it weren't for his failure to provide them with the Instagram worthy Easter egg hunt that [b]OP has decided single handedly they deserve?[/b][/quote]

You're just being purposefully obtuse now. Easter egg hunts and Easter baskets happen all over the US. I've never lived in a place where there weren't multiple opportunities for such an event, and I'm talking outside of churches (our neighborhood organizes one, our country club has one, etc.). Kids see these things and they hear about them from friends. Will a kid be scarred if they don't get an Easter basket or go on an egg hunt? Obviously not. But it's not weird for a kid to be excited about it/want to participate. And getting a PayDay in your basket isn't really what they were looking for. Again, it won't kill them, but most of us don't live with that standard. Acting like OP created Easter baskets out of thin air is ridiculous. [/quote]

Agreed.

Also, didn’t OP say that she got the stuff for the baskets.  This is for filling those little plastic eggs.  I guess OP’s husband wanted to cut up the candy bars?  [/quote]

The real issue is that OP and her husband are going through a tough spot.

She asked him to complete a simple task that he didn’t pay enough attention to or was annoyed at her focus on this and did in a deliberately obtuse manner. Weaponized incompetence.

She didn’t just go to the store because she said he liked to be the one at the store to get the supplies needed for her vision of a nice family moment. Not quite weaponized incompetence but knowing he thought this was dumb, there is an element of setting him up to fail. Then she ignores putting together Easter dinner because he didn’t plan anything and immediately runs to the internet to complain about him when he fails.

Neither is trying to be particularly understanding or considerate of the other’s perspective. It definitely seems like they don’t like each other much but OP is annoyed so who knows how much filter has been put on this.

They are both the bad guy and it doesn’t matter who is marginally worse than the other.

I hope they find a way to find some  happiness and to stop harping on the trappings of a holiday they don’t care about.[/quote]

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