What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t call it an all American thing but I don’t share a few widespread liberal beliefs and I do tell my teen that. It’s up to him to agree or disagree but I’ve talked to him about potential complications from choices that people around us consider ordinary and even praise worthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will go first.

- No sleepovers. I have held 1/2 sleepovers...(kids wear PJ's, have fun but get picked up at 11:00 pm).

- No dating in HS.

- No carpools for my kids. We did offer rides and ran carpools for our friend's children if they asked for it but never for mine.

I'm curious about the no dating in HS thing. How do you prevent your 16 year old, for example, from having a boyfriend? She is out of the house at school for a large part of the day, and then presumably is allowed out with friends at least occasionally. How do you prevent her from having a romantic interest, which is so natural and normal at that age?

My kids were high achieving and liked being in a very demanding and rigorous academic program (4th -12th grade). However, they had very little free time for romance. Between ECs, sports, volunteer work, field trips and academics, my kids had an insanely long school day. Weekends was usually competitions, tournaments, travelling, homework, test prep, catching up on sleep, socializing with friends, leisure time and family time. Also, students in their cohort were as busy as them - so there was no one who was really dating. Maybe one or two couple. I am sure romantic interest and crushes did happen but there was no time to act upon them.

Did you go to school with your kids? Did you go with them to socialize with friends? You have no idea of they acted upon romantic interests.

Yes, I did. I was very involved in the school so I knew what was happening at the school. Plus, dropping them, picking them up, being at home with them, tutoring them. They were socializing mainly with same gender friends within their programs and the parents were also those that prioritized education. I know it is hard for you to believe but there is a group of immigrant kids (you know those who play the violin, win robotics, hackathons and Math competitions, program apps, have perfect GPA and ace SAT, win spelling bees and science competitions, write research papers and start non-profits) - who just have a different aim in life. Also, they are leaning on parents for logistical support and so they are always under the watchful eyes of parents.

These poor kids! No one wants to date them anyway so one less danger for their weird parents

They get well-paying jobs, date college educated people from functional families, get married in style , have 2 kids, are never without excellent childcare, go on vacations, have a social circle of successful friends and they buy the expensive million dollar homes. But whatever makes you happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

You seem to not like America or at least have a superior attitude towards Americans. So I am wondering why do you live here if you look down on Americans so much? And if your children are born here, they are Americans. Can’t escape it.

[Anonymous]

I am for equal human and civil rights for all.

But I cannot be bothered about LGBTQ otherwise. I do not want people to tell me, show me, suggest to me about their sexual behavior, escapades, desires. That is a personal choice and I don’t care to be informed about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I won’t pressure them to move out of the house. No parties in HS. I will not mind my own business when they have kids!!🤣

Haha! This is hilarious. Your kids won’t want to live with you when they graduate from college. They don’t want to live with mommy and daddy. And not minding your business? I feel sorry for your future sons and daughters in law. You may never have access to your grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not American, but I don’t see the issue with carpooling. What’s wrong with that? We don’t do sleepovers due to a fear of SA, and we wouldn’t allow dating, because we don’t believe in intimacy before marriage, but what is wrong with carpooling?

How will you control this when your kid is in college?

We don’t. We have three, one in MS, one in HS, and a college freshmen. They won’t do it because they just aren’t interested, and would rather wait.

Haha, ok. That’s what they tell you.

Once they’re in college, we hope they’ll continue to live by the values we raised them with, but ultimately they’re adults and their choices are their own. We have no reason not to trust them. My son in college does have a girlfriend, but he says they’re not having sex, and she’s a conservative , so I’m inclined to believe him, we have no reason not to.

This is the funniest post I’ve ever seen on DCUM.

Gentle reader:

Your college son with a girlfriend is absolutely having sex. And that’s normal.

Some parents are just truly naive. And some want to stay that way it seems.

It’s their non-American “values.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

You seem to not like America or at least have a superior attitude towards Americans. So I am wondering why do you live here if you look down on Americans so much? And if your children are born here, they are Americans. Can’t escape it.

Dislike Americans? No. Just some misguided folks with loud voices.

Why am I here? Because you can become wealthy in a few years, educational opportunities, professional opportunities, land and asset ownership opportunities, less pollution and infrastructure. Also, enough diversity and immigrants here that I can pick and choose the best from many cultures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won’t pressure them to move out of the house. No parties in HS. I will not mind my own business when they have kids!!🤣

Haha! This is hilarious. Your kids won’t want to live with you when they graduate from college. They don’t want to live with mommy and daddy. And not minding your business? I feel sorry for your future sons and daughters in law. You may never have access to your grandchildren.

Why do you think our future SIL and DIL will be from majority culture? And even if our son-in-law is from majority American culture, they come to appreciate our ways of life very quickly because having rich ILs make daily life very comfortable. 😜

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

You seem to not like America or at least have a superior attitude towards Americans. So I am wondering why do you live here if you look down on Americans so much? And if your children are born here, they are Americans. Can’t escape it.

Dislike Americans? No. Just some misguided folks with loud voices.

Why am I here? Because you can become wealthy in a few years, educational opportunities, professional opportunities, land and asset ownership opportunities, less pollution and infrastructure. Also, enough diversity and immigrants here that I can pick and choose the best from many cultures.

This attitude is absolutely repugnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won’t pressure them to move out of the house. No parties in HS. I will not mind my own business when they have kids!!🤣

Haha! This is hilarious. Your kids won’t want to live with you when they graduate from college. They don’t want to live with mommy and daddy. And not minding your business? I feel sorry for your future sons and daughters in law. You may never have access to your grandchildren.

Why do you think our future SIL and DIL will be from majority culture? And even if our son-in-law is from majority American culture, they come to appreciate our ways of life very quickly because having rich ILs make daily life very comfortable. 😜

Oh dear. You might be surprised! So your culture is apparently driven by money. You should feel proud. 🤪

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t call it an all American thing but I don’t share a few widespread liberal beliefs and I do tell my teen that. It’s up to him to agree or disagree but I’ve talked to him about potential complications from choices that people around us consider ordinary and even praise worthy.

What about widespread conservative beliefs thst people around us consider ordinary and even praise worthy?

[Anonymous]

Burping and farting jokes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am for equal human and civil rights for all.

But I cannot be bothered about LGBTQ otherwise. I do not want people to tell me, show me, suggest to me about their sexual behavior, escapades, desires. That is a personal choice and I don’t care to be informed about it.

We feel the same way about heterosexual lifestyles. Keep your mating activities to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I won’t pressure them to move out of the house. No parties in HS. I will not mind my own business when they have kids!!🤣

Haha! This is hilarious. Your kids won’t want to live with you when they graduate from college. They don’t want to live with mommy and daddy. And not minding your business? I feel sorry for your future sons and daughters in law. You may never have access to your grandchildren.

I'm sorry so have such a weak relationship with your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

You seem to not like America or at least have a superior attitude towards Americans. So I am wondering why do you live here if you look down on Americans so much? And if your children are born here, they are Americans. Can’t escape it.

Dislike Americans? No. Just some misguided folks with loud voices.

Why am I here? Because you can become wealthy in a few years, educational opportunities, professional opportunities, land and asset ownership opportunities, less pollution and infrastructure. Also, enough diversity and immigrants here that I can pick and choose the best from many cultures.

This attitude is absolutely repugnant.

Welcome to America.
Which part of life, liberty, and pursuit of and happiness do you find repugnant? That's what our nation was founded to stand for.