Guac and queso if you make over $450k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

I agree with you. I have a child who loves math, so once a week I take him to meet 1:1 with a math tutor and do problems together. I buy them both a soda. It costs me about $70. He doesn’t need it, and it’s expensive, but it’s the highlight of his week. He doesn’t care much about his clothes or shoes and would never in a million years want $1500 concert tickets. Overall, even though we spend money fairly liberally on non-necessities, he’s a pretty cheap kid.

I also take my daughter to a therapist that doesn’t accept our (or any) insurance. My daughter likes her, and I think she’s good. If I did a bunch of hunting, I could probably find someone good who is cheaper, but I’m happy with the current situation. And once again, Dd doesn’t have expensive taste. She plays sports at the school and is in the church choir, doesn’t play travel anything, doesn’t want Lululemon, etc. Overall, she’s not an expensive kiddo even though she has a couple of “unnecessary” expenses.

I would argue this is mindful spending. You thought about it and decided it was worth it.

Everyone thinks it’s “worth it” when they spend.

If you aren’t mindful, you don’t evaluate anything. I need gas, so I will get it at the next station. Don’t forget to take a water bottle from home isn’t a thought. Grabs what they want from the grocery store without thinking “wow, this a $x for a single piece of fruit, I will get this fruit instead.”

My sister in law/former spouse was like this. Almost a million HHI, but had debt. Paid off their house and then got a HELOC. Her husband got stock options every year in December. Their “plan” was to spend freely - without thought to how much or how much more they could have in savings and every Dec when he got his options, he’d exercise them, sell the stock immediately and use the $70k profit to pay off their cc debt.

It was beyond comprehension how they could blow through his income and still have debt but if you watched her on a vacation or just our for a few hours, you understood that almost no consideration was given to weighing the value of something.

In your statement, it isn’t just “I want it” for mindfulness spenders, but “I want it” at this price…and other considerations are weighed. I love mangoes…but I am not getting one for $2.75. My consideration is more than if I want it. Happy to grab an alternative and wait.

This only makes sense if you are using a $3 mango as a metaphor for a $3,000/night hotel room.
No one is blowing through a million dollars $3 at a time.

I don't think you understand the term mindset and you also ignored this part: If you watched her on a vacation or just our for a few hours, you understood that almost no consideration was given to weighing the value of something. Also, the sister in law story didn't mention a mango at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, the wanting and the mindfulness are tied together. I'm not going to want it (unless absolutely necessary), if I can't fairly easily afford it.

Yep, this was mentioned...mindful spenders don't really feel deprived and have no problem waiting for something. They aren't thinking "man, I wish I got that x." They make their minds up (spend or not spend/worthy or not worthy) and move on in a millisecond. I think because non mindful spenders want to live life and don't really care about the cost or savings if it offers convenience or immediate gratification, and the thought of living any other way sounds horrible.

[Anonymous]

I make much less than that, and I allow my children to choose what they want to eat. I did not allow sodas when they were younger, it was more an issue with soda than anything else.
However, when I am shopping with them, I make it a point to show them how to comparison shop. And they’re buying the brand name is fine if it’s better quality than generic, but a lot of things you can buy generic in the grocery store and it’s just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

I agree with you. I have a child who loves math, so once a week I take him to meet 1:1 with a math tutor and do problems together. I buy them both a soda. It costs me about $70. He doesn’t need it, and it’s expensive, but it’s the highlight of his week. He doesn’t care much about his clothes or shoes and would never in a million years want $1500 concert tickets. Overall, even though we spend money fairly liberally on non-necessities, he’s a pretty cheap kid.

I also take my daughter to a therapist that doesn’t accept our (or any) insurance. My daughter likes her, and I think she’s good. If I did a bunch of hunting, I could probably find someone good who is cheaper, but I’m happy with the current situation. And once again, Dd doesn’t have expensive taste. She plays sports at the school and is in the church choir, doesn’t play travel anything, doesn’t want Lululemon, etc. Overall, she’s not an expensive kiddo even though she has a couple of “unnecessary” expenses.

I would argue this is mindful spending. You thought about it and decided it was worth it.

Everyone thinks it’s “worth it” when they spend.

If you aren’t mindful, you don’t evaluate anything. I need gas, so I will get it at the next station. Don’t forget to take a water bottle from home isn’t a thought. Grabs what they want from the grocery store without thinking “wow, this a $x for a single piece of fruit, I will get this fruit instead.”

My sister in law/former spouse was like this. Almost a million HHI, but had debt. Paid off their house and then got a HELOC. Her husband got stock options every year in December. Their “plan” was to spend freely - without thought to how much or how much more they could have in savings and every Dec when he got his options, he’d exercise them, sell the stock immediately and use the $70k profit to pay off their cc debt.

It was beyond comprehension how they could blow through his income and still have debt but if you watched her on a vacation or just our for a few hours, you understood that almost no consideration was given to weighing the value of something.

In your statement, it isn’t just “I want it” for mindfulness spenders, but “I want it” at this price…and other considerations are weighed. I love mangoes…but I am not getting one for $2.75. My consideration is more than if I want it. Happy to grab an alternative and wait.

This only makes sense if you are using a $3 mango as a metaphor for a $3,000/night hotel room.
No one is blowing through a million dollars $3 at a time.

I don't think you understand the term mindset and you also ignored this part: If you watched her on a vacation or just our for a few hours, you understood that almost no consideration was given to weighing the value of something. Also, the sister in law story didn't mention a mango at all.

The SIL story mentioned $2.75 mangoes that the narrator doesn’t purchase. I assumed that the SIL did purchase them during these few hours.

By “mindset,” do you mean that someone who gets guacamole and queso will also necessarily get a $3000 hotel room or $500 shoes?

I don’t think that you have a different “mindset.” I think you are just bad at mental math and therefore have decided to just decrease your spending on everything.

[Anonymous]

To me one of the things about this that makes it different is that it's food.

I'm someone who is very conscious of money. I drive a 2008 car. We live in a smaller house and my kids share bedrooms. We don't buy expensive clothing, or take expensive vacations.

I grew up in a family with newer cars, and every kid had their own bedroom, and we shopped at places like Bloomingdales. But my mother was consistently cheap about food. Tiny portions of protein stretched with carbs. Apples and bananas as the only fruits because they were cheapest. Vegetables were always frozen, never fresh. Koolaid instead of juice. We also never got to make the decision for ourself about when to stop eating. We got one plate of food. No seconds. The expectation was to clear the plate, but that wasn't an issue because we were always hungry. All of us kids really struggled with food and weight as adults, which is not surprising if you look at the research.

That's not what I want for my kids. I want to prioritize nutrition, enjoyment, and learning how to judge their own satiety. If I'm at the grocery store, I'll select a cheaper brand. I'll stock up on non-perishable food that's on sale. A good price or a bad price might impact what produce I pick. But I don't make the cheapest choice. I expose my kids to a variety of fruits and vegetables, even if they aren't in season or on sale. I put choices on the table, and let my kids figure out what they want to serve themselves. My only request at home is that they serve themselves small portions, knowing they can go back for seconds or thirds or fourths, so that I can put away leftovers rather than wasting food.

In the context of fast food, this looks like choosing a healthier choice that I can afford (and I'd put Chipotle in that category) and then letting them choose from what's offered. I'd worry more about food waste than about cost in that context. I might suggest something like cutting a burrito in half and taking 1/2 home for lunch the next day, or ordering the kid's meal or 2 tacos instead of 3. But I would let them order queso or guac.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

Absolutely not…I like mangoes but don’t buy them if they are over certain price. I would almost never get a coffee out unless meeting a friend.

Look. That’s fine, but if you are making $450k +, that’s a personal preference. That’s not adding up to anything meaningful.

We want to pay for our kids private schools, so we bought a smaller house that we didn’t do a huge renovation on, we paid cash for used cars, and we take average, not first class, vacations. That’s how we afford to pay for our kids school. We could also send them to public school and have the bigger house and fancier vacations. It’s a trade off.

But nowhere in this trade-off is the price of gas or whether or not we purchase the occasional Starbucks or pricey mango. Because those things don’t make a difference.

Upthread there was a gas and plain weekly Sbux coffee that added to almost $1000/year. During your kid’s minority, that’s close to $20,000. Now if this is your mindset, it will extrapolates beyond mangoes and gas. Over the years and across the scope of expenses, it is a huge amount.

How much is tuition? Is it worth it to you to give up 1 sbux a week + find nearby cheaper gas in order to have $20,000 extra in 20 years? You need to make that call.

But to say these aren’t meaningful savings when it is applied to lots of purchases is fooling yourself.

No. Denying myself coffee out for 20 years and spending 100 hours driving to the cheaper gas station is not worth 2 weeks salary.

It is ONE coffee out a week and if you're not driving to sbux that one day, you're neutraling out the ONE MILE extra per week with the drive to a cheaper station. You don't get that it is not A coffee or A gas fill up. It is all those things bundled together that is a lot of money. But pick it apart and reduce your savings. It seems you would be very, very unhappy having to delay any gratification for any period of time. Different strokes...

I see the delay, but what’s the gratification?
What am I supposed to do with this $20k thats better than having a coffee with my co-workers every Friday for 20 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

Absolutely not…I like mangoes but don’t buy them if they are over certain price. I would almost never get a coffee out unless meeting a friend.

Look. That’s fine, but if you are making $450k +, that’s a personal preference. That’s not adding up to anything meaningful.

We want to pay for our kids private schools, so we bought a smaller house that we didn’t do a huge renovation on, we paid cash for used cars, and we take average, not first class, vacations. That’s how we afford to pay for our kids school. We could also send them to public school and have the bigger house and fancier vacations. It’s a trade off.

But nowhere in this trade-off is the price of gas or whether or not we purchase the occasional Starbucks or pricey mango. Because those things don’t make a difference.

Upthread there was a gas and plain weekly Sbux coffee that added to almost $1000/year. During your kid’s minority, that’s close to $20,000. Now if this is your mindset, it will extrapolates beyond mangoes and gas. Over the years and across the scope of expenses, it is a huge amount.

How much is tuition? Is it worth it to you to give up 1 sbux a week + find nearby cheaper gas in order to have $20,000 extra in 20 years? You need to make that call.

But to say these aren’t meaningful savings when it is applied to lots of purchases is fooling yourself.

No. Denying myself coffee out for 20 years and spending 100 hours driving to the cheaper gas station is not worth 2 weeks salary.

It is ONE coffee out a week and if you're not driving to sbux that one day, you're neutraling out the ONE MILE extra per week with the drive to a cheaper station. You don't get that it is not A coffee or A gas fill up. It is all those things bundled together that is a lot of money. But pick it apart and reduce your savings. It seems you would be very, very unhappy having to delay any gratification for any period of time. Different strokes...

DP

You don’t seem to understand that your luxuries and frivolities do not define anyone else’s luxuries and frivolities.

I pay myself first. Therefore, my savings are exactly in line with my goals and priorities. I have an easily affordable house, one car per adult driver, and our children attend public schools.

I have no desire for more than one home, more than one car, or expensive college educations for my children. I have no desire to die with more money in the bank than the next guy.

Our savings goals are met, our needs are met. We do not have to be “mindful” of small luxuries purchased with our remaining funds. This is by design. I do not WANT to keep a grocery price book. I do not WANT to drive out of my way for cheaper gas, or (God forbid) wait in line for 15 minutes at Costco.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

Absolutely not…I like mangoes but don’t buy them if they are over certain price. I would almost never get a coffee out unless meeting a friend.

Look. That’s fine, but if you are making $450k +, that’s a personal preference. That’s not adding up to anything meaningful.

We want to pay for our kids private schools, so we bought a smaller house that we didn’t do a huge renovation on, we paid cash for used cars, and we take average, not first class, vacations. That’s how we afford to pay for our kids school. We could also send them to public school and have the bigger house and fancier vacations. It’s a trade off.

But nowhere in this trade-off is the price of gas or whether or not we purchase the occasional Starbucks or pricey mango. Because those things don’t make a difference.

Upthread there was a gas and plain weekly Sbux coffee that added to almost $1000/year. During your kid’s minority, that’s close to $20,000. Now if this is your mindset, it will extrapolates beyond mangoes and gas. Over the years and across the scope of expenses, it is a huge amount.

How much is tuition? Is it worth it to you to give up 1 sbux a week + find nearby cheaper gas in order to have $20,000 extra in 20 years? You need to make that call.

But to say these aren’t meaningful savings when it is applied to lots of purchases is fooling yourself.

No. Denying myself coffee out for 20 years and spending 100 hours driving to the cheaper gas station is not worth 2 weeks salary.

It is ONE coffee out a week and if you're not driving to sbux that one day, you're neutraling out the ONE MILE extra per week with the drive to a cheaper station. You don't get that it is not A coffee or A gas fill up. It is all those things bundled together that is a lot of money. But pick it apart and reduce your savings. It seems you would be very, very unhappy having to delay any gratification for any period of time. Different strokes...

DP

You don’t seem to understand that your luxuries and frivolities do not define anyone else’s luxuries and frivolities.

I pay myself first. Therefore, my savings are exactly in line with my goals and priorities. I have an easily affordable house, one car per adult driver, and our children attend public schools.

I have no desire for more than one home, more than one car, or expensive college educations for my children. I have no desire to die with more money in the bank than the next guy.

Our savings goals are met, our needs are met. We do not have to be “mindful” of small luxuries purchased with our remaining funds. This is by design. I do not WANT to keep a grocery price book. I do not WANT to drive out of my way for cheaper gas, or (God forbid) wait in line for 15 minutes at Costco.

Do your small luxuries include guac and queso?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

Absolutely not…I like mangoes but don’t buy them if they are over certain price. I would almost never get a coffee out unless meeting a friend.

Look. That’s fine, but if you are making $450k +, that’s a personal preference. That’s not adding up to anything meaningful.

We want to pay for our kids private schools, so we bought a smaller house that we didn’t do a huge renovation on, we paid cash for used cars, and we take average, not first class, vacations. That’s how we afford to pay for our kids school. We could also send them to public school and have the bigger house and fancier vacations. It’s a trade off.

But nowhere in this trade-off is the price of gas or whether or not we purchase the occasional Starbucks or pricey mango. Because those things don’t make a difference.

Upthread there was a gas and plain weekly Sbux coffee that added to almost $1000/year. During your kid’s minority, that’s close to $20,000. Now if this is your mindset, it will extrapolates beyond mangoes and gas. Over the years and across the scope of expenses, it is a huge amount.

How much is tuition? Is it worth it to you to give up 1 sbux a week + find nearby cheaper gas in order to have $20,000 extra in 20 years? You need to make that call.

But to say these aren’t meaningful savings when it is applied to lots of purchases is fooling yourself.

No. Denying myself coffee out for 20 years and spending 100 hours driving to the cheaper gas station is not worth 2 weeks salary.

It is ONE coffee out a week and if you're not driving to sbux that one day, you're neutraling out the ONE MILE extra per week with the drive to a cheaper station. You don't get that it is not A coffee or A gas fill up. It is all those things bundled together that is a lot of money. But pick it apart and reduce your savings. It seems you would be very, very unhappy having to delay any gratification for any period of time. Different strokes...

DP

You don’t seem to understand that your luxuries and frivolities do not define anyone else’s luxuries and frivolities.

I pay myself first. Therefore, my savings are exactly in line with my goals and priorities. I have an easily affordable house, one car per adult driver, and our children attend public schools.

I have no desire for more than one home, more than one car, or expensive college educations for my children. I have no desire to die with more money in the bank than the next guy.

Our savings goals are met, our needs are met. We do not have to be “mindful” of small luxuries purchased with our remaining funds. This is by design. I do not WANT to keep a grocery price book. I do not WANT to drive out of my way for cheaper gas, or (God forbid) wait in line for 15 minutes at Costco.

Do your small luxuries include guac and queso?

Of course! If we go to Chipotle and someone wants guacamole or queso, we’re going to get it! My only rule is that if you order it, you have to eat it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

Absolutely not…I like mangoes but don’t buy them if they are over certain price. I would almost never get a coffee out unless meeting a friend.

Look. That’s fine, but if you are making $450k +, that’s a personal preference. That’s not adding up to anything meaningful.

We want to pay for our kids private schools, so we bought a smaller house that we didn’t do a huge renovation on, we paid cash for used cars, and we take average, not first class, vacations. That’s how we afford to pay for our kids school. We could also send them to public school and have the bigger house and fancier vacations. It’s a trade off.

But nowhere in this trade-off is the price of gas or whether or not we purchase the occasional Starbucks or pricey mango. Because those things don’t make a difference.

Upthread there was a gas and plain weekly Sbux coffee that added to almost $1000/year. During your kid’s minority, that’s close to $20,000. Now if this is your mindset, it will extrapolates beyond mangoes and gas. Over the years and across the scope of expenses, it is a huge amount.

How much is tuition? Is it worth it to you to give up 1 sbux a week + find nearby cheaper gas in order to have $20,000 extra in 20 years? You need to make that call.

But to say these aren’t meaningful savings when it is applied to lots of purchases is fooling yourself.

No. Denying myself coffee out for 20 years and spending 100 hours driving to the cheaper gas station is not worth 2 weeks salary.

It is ONE coffee out a week and if you're not driving to sbux that one day, you're neutraling out the ONE MILE extra per week with the drive to a cheaper station. You don't get that it is not A coffee or A gas fill up. It is all those things bundled together that is a lot of money. But pick it apart and reduce your savings. It seems you would be very, very unhappy having to delay any gratification for any period of time. Different strokes...

DP

You don’t seem to understand that your luxuries and frivolities do not define anyone else’s luxuries and frivolities.

I pay myself first. Therefore, my savings are exactly in line with my goals and priorities. I have an easily affordable house, one car per adult driver, and our children attend public schools.

I have no desire for more than one home, more than one car, or expensive college educations for my children. I have no desire to die with more money in the bank than the next guy.

Our savings goals are met, our needs are met. We do not have to be “mindful” of small luxuries purchased with our remaining funds. This is by design. I do not WANT to keep a grocery price book. I do not WANT to drive out of my way for cheaper gas, or (God forbidh) wait in line for 15 minutes at Costco.

I love it…bc it shows how each side thinks their view is better and the other’s choice would be a horrible existence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

Absolutely not…I like mangoes but don’t buy them if they are over certain price. I would almost never get a coffee out unless meeting a friend.

Look. That’s fine, but if you are making $450k +, that’s a personal preference. That’s not adding up to anything meaningful.

We want to pay for our kids private schools, so we bought a smaller house that we didn’t do a huge renovation on, we paid cash for used cars, and we take average, not first class, vacations. That’s how we afford to pay for our kids school. We could also send them to public school and have the bigger house and fancier vacations. It’s a trade off.

But nowhere in this trade-off is the price of gas or whether or not we purchase the occasional Starbucks or pricey mango. Because those things don’t make a difference.

Upthread there was a gas and plain weekly Sbux coffee that added to almost $1000/year. During your kid’s minority, that’s close to $20,000. Now if this is your mindset, it will extrapolates beyond mangoes and gas. Over the years and across the scope of expenses, it is a huge amount.

How much is tuition? Is it worth it to you to give up 1 sbux a week + find nearby cheaper gas in order to have $20,000 extra in 20 years? You need to make that call.

But to say these aren’t meaningful savings when it is applied to lots of purchases is fooling yourself.

No. Denying myself coffee out for 20 years and spending 100 hours driving to the cheaper gas station is not worth 2 weeks salary.

It is ONE coffee out a week and if you're not driving to sbux that one day, you're neutraling out the ONE MILE extra per week with the drive to a cheaper station. You don't get that it is not A coffee or A gas fill up. It is all those things bundled together that is a lot of money. But pick it apart and reduce your savings. It seems you would be very, very unhappy having to delay any gratification for any period of time. Different strokes...

DP

You don’t seem to understand that your luxuries and frivolities do not define anyone else’s luxuries and frivolities.

I pay myself first. Therefore, my savings are exactly in line with my goals and priorities. I have an easily affordable house, one car per adult driver, and our children attend public schools.

I have no desire for more than one home, more than one car, or expensive college educations for my children. I have no desire to die with more money in the bank than the next guy.

Our savings goals are met, our needs are met. We do not have to be “mindful” of small luxuries purchased with our remaining funds. This is by design. I do not WANT to keep a grocery price book. I do not WANT to drive out of my way for cheaper gas, or (God forbidh) wait in line for 15 minutes at Costco.

I love it…bc it shows how each side thinks their view is better and the other’s choice would be a horrible existence.

That was not implied in my post. If people like hanging out in the Costco gas lines, more power to them! It’s not how I choose to spend my time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

Absolutely not…I like mangoes but don’t buy them if they are over certain price. I would almost never get a coffee out unless meeting a friend.

Look. That’s fine, but if you are making $450k +, that’s a personal preference. That’s not adding up to anything meaningful.

We want to pay for our kids private schools, so we bought a smaller house that we didn’t do a huge renovation on, we paid cash for used cars, and we take average, not first class, vacations. That’s how we afford to pay for our kids school. We could also send them to public school and have the bigger house and fancier vacations. It’s a trade off.

But nowhere in this trade-off is the price of gas or whether or not we purchase the occasional Starbucks or pricey mango. Because those things don’t make a difference.

Upthread there was a gas and plain weekly Sbux coffee that added to almost $1000/year. During your kid’s minority, that’s close to $20,000. Now if this is your mindset, it will extrapolates beyond mangoes and gas. Over the years and across the scope of expenses, it is a huge amount.

How much is tuition? Is it worth it to you to give up 1 sbux a week + find nearby cheaper gas in order to have $20,000 extra in 20 years? You need to make that call.

But to say these aren’t meaningful savings when it is applied to lots of purchases is fooling yourself.

No. Denying myself coffee out for 20 years and spending 100 hours driving to the cheaper gas station is not worth 2 weeks salary.

It is ONE coffee out a week and if you're not driving to sbux that one day, you're neutraling out the ONE MILE extra per week with the drive to a cheaper station. You don't get that it is not A coffee or A gas fill up. It is all those things bundled together that is a lot of money. But pick it apart and reduce your savings. It seems you would be very, very unhappy having to delay any gratification for any period of time. Different strokes...

DP

You don’t seem to understand that your luxuries and frivolities do not define anyone else’s luxuries and frivolities.

I pay myself first. Therefore, my savings are exactly in line with my goals and priorities. I have an easily affordable house, one car per adult driver, and our children attend public schools.

I have no desire for more than one home, more than one car, or expensive college educations for my children. I have no desire to die with more money in the bank than the next guy.

Our savings goals are met, our needs are met. We do not have to be “mindful” of small luxuries purchased with our remaining funds. This is by design. I do not WANT to keep a grocery price book. I do not WANT to drive out of my way for cheaper gas, or (God forbidh) wait in line for 15 minutes at Costco.

I love it…bc it shows how each side thinks their view is better and the other’s choice would be a horrible existence.

That was not implied in my post. If people like hanging out in the Costco gas lines, more power to them! It’s not how I choose to spend my time.

It is even in your post above- it seems horrible to you if you had to do that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

Absolutely not…I like mangoes but don’t buy them if they are over certain price. I would almost never get a coffee out unless meeting a friend.

Look. That’s fine, but if you are making $450k +, that’s a personal preference. That’s not adding up to anything meaningful.

We want to pay for our kids private schools, so we bought a smaller house that we didn’t do a huge renovation on, we paid cash for used cars, and we take average, not first class, vacations. That’s how we afford to pay for our kids school. We could also send them to public school and have the bigger house and fancier vacations. It’s a trade off.

But nowhere in this trade-off is the price of gas or whether or not we purchase the occasional Starbucks or pricey mango. Because those things don’t make a difference.

Upthread there was a gas and plain weekly Sbux coffee that added to almost $1000/year. During your kid’s minority, that’s close to $20,000. Now if this is your mindset, it will extrapolates beyond mangoes and gas. Over the years and across the scope of expenses, it is a huge amount.

How much is tuition? Is it worth it to you to give up 1 sbux a week + find nearby cheaper gas in order to have $20,000 extra in 20 years? You need to make that call.

But to say these aren’t meaningful savings when it is applied to lots of purchases is fooling yourself.

No. Denying myself coffee out for 20 years and spending 100 hours driving to the cheaper gas station is not worth 2 weeks salary.

It is ONE coffee out a week and if you're not driving to sbux that one day, you're neutraling out the ONE MILE extra per week with the drive to a cheaper station. You don't get that it is not A coffee or A gas fill up. It is all those things bundled together that is a lot of money. But pick it apart and reduce your savings. It seems you would be very, very unhappy having to delay any gratification for any period of time. Different strokes...

DP

You don’t seem to understand that your luxuries and frivolities do not define anyone else’s luxuries and frivolities.

I pay myself first. Therefore, my savings are exactly in line with my goals and priorities. I have an easily affordable house, one car per adult driver, and our children attend public schools.

I have no desire for more than one home, more than one car, or expensive college educations for my children. I have no desire to die with more money in the bank than the next guy.

Our savings goals are met, our needs are met. We do not have to be “mindful” of small luxuries purchased with our remaining funds. This is by design. I do not WANT to keep a grocery price book. I do not WANT to drive out of my way for cheaper gas, or (God forbidh) wait in line for 15 minutes at Costco.

I love it…bc it shows how each side thinks their view is better and the other’s choice would be a horrible existence.

At this point I think it’s two OpenClaw or Claude bots arguing with each other TBH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

Absolutely not…I like mangoes but don’t buy them if they are over certain price. I would almost never get a coffee out unless meeting a friend.

Look. That’s fine, but if you are making $450k +, that’s a personal preference. That’s not adding up to anything meaningful.

We want to pay for our kids private schools, so we bought a smaller house that we didn’t do a huge renovation on, we paid cash for used cars, and we take average, not first class, vacations. That’s how we afford to pay for our kids school. We could also send them to public school and have the bigger house and fancier vacations. It’s a trade off.

But nowhere in this trade-off is the price of gas or whether or not we purchase the occasional Starbucks or pricey mango. Because those things don’t make a difference.

Upthread there was a gas and plain weekly Sbux coffee that added to almost $1000/year. During your kid’s minority, that’s close to $20,000. Now if this is your mindset, it will extrapolates beyond mangoes and gas. Over the years and across the scope of expenses, it is a huge amount.

How much is tuition? Is it worth it to you to give up 1 sbux a week + find nearby cheaper gas in order to have $20,000 extra in 20 years? You need to make that call.

But to say these aren’t meaningful savings when it is applied to lots of purchases is fooling yourself.

No. Denying myself coffee out for 20 years and spending 100 hours driving to the cheaper gas station is not worth 2 weeks salary.

It is ONE coffee out a week and if you're not driving to sbux that one day, you're neutraling out the ONE MILE extra per week with the drive to a cheaper station. You don't get that it is not A coffee or A gas fill up. It is all those things bundled together that is a lot of money. But pick it apart and reduce your savings. It seems you would be very, very unhappy having to delay any gratification for any period of time. Different strokes...

DP

You don’t seem to understand that your luxuries and frivolities do not define anyone else’s luxuries and frivolities.

I pay myself first. Therefore, my savings are exactly in line with my goals and priorities. I have an easily affordable house, one car per adult driver, and our children attend public schools.

I have no desire for more than one home, more than one car, or expensive college educations for my children. I have no desire to die with more money in the bank than the next guy.

Our savings goals are met, our needs are met. We do not have to be “mindful” of small luxuries purchased with our remaining funds. This is by design. I do not WANT to keep a grocery price book. I do not WANT to drive out of my way for cheaper gas, or (God forbidh) wait in line for 15 minutes at Costco.

I love it…bc it shows how each side thinks their view is better and the other’s choice would be a horrible existence.

That was not implied in my post. If people like hanging out in the Costco gas lines, more power to them! It’s not how I choose to spend my time.

It is even in your post above- it seems horrible to you if you had to do that!

Yes. It’s horrible to me. It doesn’t mean I assume it’s a horrible existence for someone else.

This isn’t a difficult concept to grasp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

Absolutely not…I like mangoes but don’t buy them if they are over certain price. I would almost never get a coffee out unless meeting a friend.

Look. That’s fine, but if you are making $450k +, that’s a personal preference. That’s not adding up to anything meaningful.

We want to pay for our kids private schools, so we bought a smaller house that we didn’t do a huge renovation on, we paid cash for used cars, and we take average, not first class, vacations. That’s how we afford to pay for our kids school. We could also send them to public school and have the bigger house and fancier vacations. It’s a trade off.

But nowhere in this trade-off is the price of gas or whether or not we purchase the occasional Starbucks or pricey mango. Because those things don’t make a difference.

Upthread there was a gas and plain weekly Sbux coffee that added to almost $1000/year. During your kid’s minority, that’s close to $20,000. Now if this is your mindset, it will extrapolates beyond mangoes and gas. Over the years and across the scope of expenses, it is a huge amount.

How much is tuition? Is it worth it to you to give up 1 sbux a week + find nearby cheaper gas in order to have $20,000 extra in 20 years? You need to make that call.

But to say these aren’t meaningful savings when it is applied to lots of purchases is fooling yourself.

No. Denying myself coffee out for 20 years and spending 100 hours driving to the cheaper gas station is not worth 2 weeks salary.

It is ONE coffee out a week and if you're not driving to sbux that one day, you're neutraling out the ONE MILE extra per week with the drive to a cheaper station. You don't get that it is not A coffee or A gas fill up. It is all those things bundled together that is a lot of money. But pick it apart and reduce your savings. It seems you would be very, very unhappy having to delay any gratification for any period of time. Different strokes...

DP

You don’t seem to understand that your luxuries and frivolities do not define anyone else’s luxuries and frivolities.

I pay myself first. Therefore, my savings are exactly in line with my goals and priorities. I have an easily affordable house, one car per adult driver, and our children attend public schools.

I have no desire for more than one home, more than one car, or expensive college educations for my children. I have no desire to die with more money in the bank than the next guy.

Our savings goals are met, our needs are met. We do not have to be “mindful” of small luxuries purchased with our remaining funds. This is by design. I do not WANT to keep a grocery price book. I do not WANT to drive out of my way for cheaper gas, or (God forbidh) wait in line for 15 minutes at Costco.

I love it…bc it shows how each side thinks their view is better and the other’s choice would be a horrible existence.

That was not implied in my post. If people like hanging out in the Costco gas lines, more power to them! It’s not how I choose to spend my time.

It is even in your post above- it seems horrible to you if you had to do that!

Yes. It’s horrible to me. It doesn’t mean I assume it’s a horrible existence for someone else.

This isn’t a difficult concept to grasp.