Guac and queso if you make over $450k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

Absolutely not…I like mangoes but don’t buy them if they are over certain price. I would almost never get a coffee out unless meeting a friend.

Look. That’s fine, but if you are making $450k +, that’s a personal preference. That’s not adding up to anything meaningful.

We want to pay for our kids private schools, so we bought a smaller house that we didn’t do a huge renovation on, we paid cash for used cars, and we take average, not first class, vacations. That’s how we afford to pay for our kids school. We could also send them to public school and have the bigger house and fancier vacations. It’s a trade off.

But nowhere in this trade-off is the price of gas or whether or not we purchase the occasional Starbucks or pricey mango. Because those things don’t make a difference.

Upthread there was a gas and plain weekly Sbux coffee that added to almost $1000/year. During your kid’s minority, that’s close to $20,000. Now if this is your mindset, it will extrapolates beyond mangoes and gas. Over the years and across the scope of expenses, it is a huge amount.

How much is tuition? Is it worth it to you to give up 1 sbux a week + find nearby cheaper gas in order to have $20,000 extra in 20 years? You need to make that call.

But to say these aren’t meaningful savings when it is applied to lots of purchases is fooling yourself.

No. Denying myself coffee out for 20 years and spending 100 hours driving to the cheaper gas station is not worth 2 weeks salary.

It is ONE coffee out a week and if you're not driving to sbux that one day, you're neutraling out the ONE MILE extra per week with the drive to a cheaper station. You don't get that it is not A coffee or A gas fill up. It is all those things bundled together that is a lot of money. But pick it apart and reduce your savings. It seems you would be very, very unhappy having to delay any gratification for any period of time. Different strokes...

DP

You don’t seem to understand that your luxuries and frivolities do not define anyone else’s luxuries and frivolities.

I pay myself first. Therefore, my savings are exactly in line with my goals and priorities. I have an easily affordable house, one car per adult driver, and our children attend public schools.

I have no desire for more than one home, more than one car, or expensive college educations for my children. I have no desire to die with more money in the bank than the next guy.

Our savings goals are met, our needs are met. We do not have to be “mindful” of small luxuries purchased with our remaining funds. This is by design. I do not WANT to keep a grocery price book. I do not WANT to drive out of my way for cheaper gas, or (God forbid) wait in line for 15 minutes at Costco.

How do you save but with the bolded in mind so that you have enough to have all wants and unknown needs taken care of for an unknown period of time without having a ton extra?

[Anonymous]

Once I hit 10m net worth, I started to get guac or queso but not both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But, I'm pp, and I disagree that buying Taylor Swift tickets for your kids will teach them about value, which is the very point of this thread. So, why bother getting angry about occasional guac when you're going to shell out $1500 pp for concert tickets.

Yeah, it does, but you don’t get it. All I can do is suggest you go back and reread prior responses. You’re probably the same person who believes kids don’t need this lesson bc they will learn it anyway by seeing prices on a menu.

People here have argued endlessly that if you buy guac every week you cannot possibly save. People have said it will cut down on your overall savings goals. You could buy extra guac for 41+ years weekly to add up to a single Taylor Swift concert.

You're the one who doesn't get it. Based on OP's premise and these response, not on what you believe (spend on outing that will live in your memories forevr). You can't have it both ways!

My guess is everyone on this post who is a mindful spender, gets what I am saying. I’ll make one final effort:

Mindful spenders spend money on wants but:

- not on every want

- generally not without considering the value of the purchase (is this a good/fair deal for x - and x is anything from an add on like guac, to gas, to a coffee)

- they focus on making choices where the want has meaning to them (yes to a vacation where they spend more, no to a popcorn at the movie)

- they focus on finances for the future, even if it means every want is not obtained in the present

- they usually don’t feel deprived when saying no to a want

This means that they may save a year of coffee money but also get TSwift tickets. Non mindful spenders live more for today and get both the coffee and tickets when they want them.

Everyone gets your insufferability. Are you a man? Because you’re acting like one. 👍🏻 A lack of reading comprehension and a pedantic nature.

It does reek of mansplaining, doesn’t it?

Grow up.

Hmm. Yep. Can see it. Your inclination to run your mouth combined with a lack of social skills…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But, I'm pp, and I disagree that buying Taylor Swift tickets for your kids will teach them about value, which is the very point of this thread. So, why bother getting angry about occasional guac when you're going to shell out $1500 pp for concert tickets.

Yeah, it does, but you don’t get it. All I can do is suggest you go back and reread prior responses. You’re probably the same person who believes kids don’t need this lesson bc they will learn it anyway by seeing prices on a menu.

People here have argued endlessly that if you buy guac every week you cannot possibly save. People have said it will cut down on your overall savings goals. You could buy extra guac for 41+ years weekly to add up to a single Taylor Swift concert.

You're the one who doesn't get it. Based on OP's premise and these response, not on what you believe (spend on outing that will live in your memories forevr). You can't have it both ways!

My guess is everyone on this post who is a mindful spender, gets what I am saying. I’ll make one final effort:

Mindful spenders spend money on wants but:

- not on every want

- generally not without considering the value of the purchase (is this a good/fair deal for x - and x is anything from an add on like guac, to gas, to a coffee)

- they focus on making choices where the want has meaning to them (yes to a vacation where they spend more, no to a popcorn at the movie)

- they focus on finances for the future, even if it means every want is not obtained in the present

- they usually don’t feel deprived when saying no to a want

This means that they may save a year of coffee money but also get TSwift tickets. Non mindful spenders live more for today and get both the coffee and tickets when they want them.

Everyone gets your insufferability. Are you a man? Because you’re acting like one. 👍🏻 A lack of reading comprehension and a pedantic nature.

It does reek of mansplaining, doesn’t it?

Grow up.

Hmm. Yep. Can see it. Your inclination to run your mouth combined with a lack of social skills…

I don’t materially respond to highly sexist people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, the wanting and the mindfulness are tied together. I'm not going to want it (unless absolutely necessary), if I can't fairly easily afford it.

What? Are you saying you have lots of money? You don’t want things out of your price range? Then you’re just in denial. I want to fly business class only. I can’t really afford to do that all the time; I still would like to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once I hit 10m net worth, I started to get guac or queso but not both.

lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, the wanting and the mindfulness are tied together. I'm not going to want it (unless absolutely necessary), if I can't fairly easily afford it.

What? Are you saying you have lots of money? You don’t want things out of your price range? Then you’re just in denial. I want to fly business class only. I can’t really afford to do that all the time; I still would like to do so.

I can afford almost anything, but I elect not to buy many things I could want but am okay without.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, the wanting and the mindfulness are tied together. I'm not going to want it (unless absolutely necessary), if I can't fairly easily afford it.

What? Are you saying you have lots of money? You don’t want things out of your price range? Then you’re just in denial. I want to fly business class only. I can’t really afford to do that all the time; I still would like to do so.

I understood it as wanting something to the point where you are actually contemplating buying it and then going through analysis as to whether it is worth it (if you are mindful) or just getting it (if you are not).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, the wanting and the mindfulness are tied together. I'm not going to want it (unless absolutely necessary), if I can't fairly easily afford it.

What? Are you saying you have lots of money? You don’t want things out of your price range? Then you’re just in denial. I want to fly business class only. I can’t really afford to do that all the time; I still would like to do so.

I understood it as wanting something to the point where you are actually contemplating buying it and then going through analysis as to whether it is worth it (if you are mindful) or just getting it (if you are not).

This. Sometimes, mindful buyers still buy it but they almost always analyze if it is worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

Absolutely not…I like mangoes but don’t buy them if they are over certain price. I would almost never get a coffee out unless meeting a friend.

Look. That’s fine, but if you are making $450k +, that’s a personal preference. That’s not adding up to anything meaningful.

We want to pay for our kids private schools, so we bought a smaller house that we didn’t do a huge renovation on, we paid cash for used cars, and we take average, not first class, vacations. That’s how we afford to pay for our kids school. We could also send them to public school and have the bigger house and fancier vacations. It’s a trade off.

But nowhere in this trade-off is the price of gas or whether or not we purchase the occasional Starbucks or pricey mango. Because those things don’t make a difference.

Upthread there was a gas and plain weekly Sbux coffee that added to almost $1000/year. During your kid’s minority, that’s close to $20,000. Now if this is your mindset, it will extrapolates beyond mangoes and gas. Over the years and across the scope of expenses, it is a huge amount.

How much is tuition? Is it worth it to you to give up 1 sbux a week + find nearby cheaper gas in order to have $20,000 extra in 20 years? You need to make that call.

But to say these aren’t meaningful savings when it is applied to lots of purchases is fooling yourself.

No. Denying myself coffee out for 20 years and spending 100 hours driving to the cheaper gas station is not worth 2 weeks salary.

It is ONE coffee out a week and if you're not driving to sbux that one day, you're neutraling out the ONE MILE extra per week with the drive to a cheaper station. You don't get that it is not A coffee or A gas fill up. It is all those things bundled together that is a lot of money. But pick it apart and reduce your savings. It seems you would be very, very unhappy having to delay any gratification for any period of time. Different strokes...

DP. Why are you trying so hard to convince someone who is comfortable with her decision that your way is right?You should be as comfortable with yours. If you were you wouldn’t have to make your point over and over.

[Anonymous]

^^ it’s bc the person said cutting back on wants can’t result in meaningful savings like house/car type of savings.

It’s one thing if someone said, I don’t care about cost, don’t need to evaluate a cost, etc. because it is meaningless to me. Saying it doesn’t result in savings is false.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ it’s bc the person said cutting back on wants can’t result in meaningful savings like house/car type of savings.

It’s one thing if someone said, I don’t care about cost, don’t need to evaluate a cost, etc. because it is meaningless to me. Saying it doesn’t result in savings is false.

No one said it doesn’t result in savings. What was said is that it doesn’t result in meaningful saving IF you are overspending on the big things, such as house, car, and education.

Which is 100% true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ it’s bc the person said cutting back on wants can’t result in meaningful savings like house/car type of savings.

It’s one thing if someone said, I don’t care about cost, don’t need to evaluate a cost, etc. because it is meaningless to me. Saying it doesn’t result in savings is false.

No one said it doesn’t result in savings. What was said is that it doesn’t result in meaningful saving IF you are overspending on the big things, such as house, car, and education.

Which is 100% true.

I guess we can disagree on the definition of “meaningful.” Saving is saving and I, like Ben Franklin, believe in a penny saved is a penny earned. But obviously if you’re house poor, you will always be treading water. A nephew overspent on a car and significantly cut back on wants for 18 months and paid the loan off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if you are someone who gets what you want but truly wants very little. A non-mindful spender who spends way less than most mindful ones?

If you get what you want without consideration of price, you’re not a mindful spender. You don’t give it another thought regarding value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc.

But isn't what we want often based on price to begin with?

Not if you’re not mindful. You want it, you get it, obviously within reason. You’re not getting a Birken just bc you want it. But if you’re not mindful, then if you want it, you don’t have any consideration for the price most of the time. You want it, you get it.

Mindful considers the questions above: value, price, alternatives, frequency (we already got takeout 2x last week), amount you could save by not getting it, do you really want the item, etc. Mindful still means you’ll get the item but have almost instantaneously run through whether it was worth it: Diet Coke, coffee, this gas station, fruit, whatever.

But we want things based on our experience and that ties into price. I want a Starbucks latte because I've had them and liked them. So I buy one without a second thought. I've never had a super expensive, super fancy latte. Don't even know where I'd get one. So I'm unlikely to want one to begin with.

Absolutely not…I like mangoes but don’t buy them if they are over certain price. I would almost never get a coffee out unless meeting a friend.

It sounds like you do want things (mangoes, coffee out) based on your experience. I'm not saying you want them frequently or at any price (the Starbucks example is of a non-mindful spender as proposed by the PP). I'm saying that if mangoes were $$$, you'd probably never have had one so you wouldn't know you liked them and wouldn't ever want one now.

I could have had them at a restaurant, wedding, friend’s house, etc.

Ok. Let's say $$$ is $5k.

I don’t understand what you are trying to say.

I'm trying to say that we want is based on our life experiences and those are based in part, on money. So you want mangoes because you've had them and liked them and you've had them because you could afford them. If you could never afford them, you wouldn't know you liked them so you may not want them. Maybe you'd want an apple instead.

And I said that’s not true. I could attend a wedding, xmas party, or work meeting where caviar is served. I could be on vacation where something is offered. I could have read about ostrich eggs or sushi and want to try it.

The point is that just bc I like it or want to try it, doesn’t mean the cost justifies the purchase/satisfying the desire. Likely, mindful spenders are more flexible (I’m okay w/no appetizer/guac/mango and am just as happy with tap water/the basic order/the matinee/whatever). Gratification is more flexibly delayed with no feeling of depravation.

Maybe you've had mango (because you could afford it or someone else could afford to give it to you - like at a wedding) or you have never had it but want to try it. Either way, your life experience is shaping your desire to have one now.

NP-Yes, as a frugal person who has often justified NOT doing/eating something due to cost, now that I've had those experiences I realize that sometimes not doing it means you keep thinking about it and it creates not only lack of enjoyment in the moment, but also regret in the long term: I will never go to Barcelona again and I regret just seeing the outside of the Sagrada Familia. I regret not having a Bellini in Venice. In retrospect, I could afford both. I focused on the mindfulness in the moment rather than the long term intentional spending. So now I do spend on these sorts of things because I realize something it's better to spend and enjoy both the experience and the memory of it.

As someone who also passed on a gondola ride because it was too expensive and regretted it, I just want to tell you that the bellinis at Harry’s Bar in Venice are terrible— you should not regret missing that experience at all. 😉

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ it’s bc the person said cutting back on wants can’t result in meaningful savings like house/car type of savings.

It’s one thing if someone said, I don’t care about cost, don’t need to evaluate a cost, etc. because it is meaningless to me. Saying it doesn’t result in savings is false.

No one said it doesn’t result in savings. What was said is that it doesn’t result in meaningful saving IF you are overspending on the big things, such as house, car, and education.

Which is 100% true.

I guess we can disagree on the definition of “meaningful.” Saving is saving and I, like Ben Franklin, believe in a penny saved is a penny earned. But obviously if you’re house poor, you will always be treading water. A nephew overspent on a car and significantly cut back on wants for 18 months and paid the loan off.

Did your nephew earn over $450k/yr?