What do you say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me know if you need help with anything.

You have 2 choices: have the baby/don't have the baby.
If you have the baby: You have 2 choices: Keep it/don't keep it

Have you thought about those choices?

Whatever happens we will support you in your decision and still plan to help you get through college. If your girlfriend needs support let us know.

I know this feels really big, but in the end everything will work out. Let me know how we can support you.

This is great advice.

Where does it say he's still in college?

Read the thread, people. Responding to a post on like, page 5 of a 30 page thread is basically derailing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok. You have such wonderful insights.
Apply those powers to yourself too.
I will stop posting on your sagas. No need for the "therapy" thanks.
I am not drunk or schizo.
I am indeed an angry woman wrt this topic.
I remember men from my youth trapped into parenthood (and marriage back in the day) and how their lives and their childs' lives were affected. In a surprising number of incidents, the subsequent divorce proceedings revealed they were not the biological father.

I wish you were on the sofa next to me.

I think we would hold hands. This is some definite crazy.

The only thing anchoring me is that there's a baby. None of this is the baby's fault.

Then stick a pin in your granny dreams and encourage the girl to give the baby over to a reputable adoption agency, The baby will have a far better life than being raised by an idiot mother, drama driven granny and clueless, absent father!

You sound kind of drunk … we’re all doing fine over here

Diapers, formula, bills, snow … I hope you are not caring for young people and being on the internet talking like this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me know if you need help with anything.

You have 2 choices: have the baby/don't have the baby.
If you have the baby: You have 2 choices: Keep it/don't keep it

Have you thought about those choices?

Whatever happens we will support you in your decision and still plan to help you get through college. If your girlfriend needs support let us know.

I know this feels really big, but in the end everything will work out. Let me know how we can support you.

This is great advice.

Where does it say he's still in college?

Read the thread, people. Responding to a post on like, page 5 of a 30 page thread is basically derailing.

Thank you, you sound sane

[Anonymous]

OP is fixated on "drunks."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me know if you need help with anything.

You have 2 choices: have the baby/don't have the baby.
If you have the baby: You have 2 choices: Keep it/don't keep it

Have you thought about those choices?

Whatever happens we will support you in your decision and still plan to help you get through college. If your girlfriend needs support let us know.

I know this feels really big, but in the end everything will work out. Let me know how we can support you.

This is great advice.

Where does it say he's still in college?

Read the thread, people. Responding to a post on like, page 5 of a 30 page thread is basically derailing.

Thank you, you sound sane

It's basic internet, this shouldn't have to be explained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me know if you need help with anything.

You have 2 choices: have the baby/don't have the baby.
If you have the baby: You have 2 choices: Keep it/don't keep it

Have you thought about those choices?

Whatever happens we will support you in your decision and still plan to help you get through college. If your girlfriend needs support let us know.

I know this feels really big, but in the end everything will work out. Let me know how we can support you.

This is great advice.

Where does it say he's still in college?

Read the thread, people. Responding to a post on like, page 5 of a 30 page thread is basically derailing.

Thank you, you sound sane

It's basic internet, this shouldn't have to be explained.

Real

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The safe refuge at places like fire stations is because even WOMEN do not always want their babies and want "it all to go away."
It's called Safe Haven Law.
No one should be forced to be a parent. It is not in the child's best interest either.

Anonymous wrote:The safe refuge at places like fire stations is because even WOMEN do not always want their babies and want "it all to go away."
It's called Safe Haven Law.
No one should be forced to be a parent. It is not in the child's best interest either.

Actually, the so-called safe refugees at fire stations are a really messed up way to sever a child’s connection to his or her kin forever, and they are dangerously susceptible to coercion and violence toward women who may not actually want to give up their babies.


As we can see in this example, we have an irresponsible and delusional 27-year-old man who has fathered a baby but would like to leave it at a fire station. Now imagine if the mother of the baby had no support systems. Was a victim of abuse. Was in this country illegally. Depending on him for support. He could very easily take the baby from her and leave it at a fire station, and there would be absolutely no accountability for him and no recourse for her. Our domestic infant adoption system is really messed up and exploits, poor and vulnerable women, but at least on its surface, it requires a woman to sign consent papers, and at least in some states provides a brief revocation period for her to change her mind if she is being coerced or pressured, which most relinquishing mothers are. In this case, a vulnerable woman who has a child could easily have a child taken from her by a more powerful man.

Every child deserves to know his or her identity or origin and connection to biological kin. Even if parents choose not to parent, legal adoption provides at least a modicum of legal protection and access to identity for a child.

(Look into how much money is going into these boxes, too…it’s astronomical for an almost nonexistent use case vs the good tha money could do if it were actually helping mothers preserve the family ties to their infants.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The safe refuge at places like fire stations is because even WOMEN do not always want their babies and want "it all to go away."
It's called Safe Haven Law.
No one should be forced to be a parent. It is not in the child's best interest either.

Anonymous wrote:The safe refuge at places like fire stations is because even WOMEN do not always want their babies and want "it all to go away."
It's called Safe Haven Law.
No one should be forced to be a parent. It is not in the child's best interest either.

Actually, the so-called safe refugees at fire stations are a really messed up way to sever a child’s connection to his or her kin forever, and they are dangerously susceptible to coercion and violence toward women who may not actually want to give up their babies.


As we can see in this example, we have an irresponsible and delusional 27-year-old man who has fathered a baby but would like to leave it at a fire station. Now imagine if the mother of the baby had no support systems. Was a victim of abuse. Was in this country illegally. Depending on him for support. He could very easily take the baby from her and leave it at a fire station, and there would be absolutely no accountability for him and no recourse for her. Our domestic infant adoption system is really messed up and exploits, poor and vulnerable women, but at least on its surface, it requires a woman to sign consent papers, and at least in some states provides a brief revocation period for her to change her mind if she is being coerced or pressured, which most relinquishing mothers are. In this case, a vulnerable woman who has a child could easily have a child taken from her by a more powerful man.

Every child deserves to know his or her identity or origin and connection to biological kin. Even if parents choose not to parent, legal adoption provides at least a modicum of legal protection and access to identity for a child.

(Look into how much money is going into these boxes, too…it’s astronomical for an almost nonexistent use case vs the good tha money could do if it were actually helping mothers preserve the family ties to their infants.)

Half of this is weird fantasy

I never would have known about where supposedly "prosperous middle americans" (supposedly populating this board) fall on all sorts of topics

The weird thing to me is that somehow it's presumed that this whole family is white people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The safe refuge at places like fire stations is because even WOMEN do not always want their babies and want "it all to go away."
It's called Safe Haven Law.
No one should be forced to be a parent. It is not in the child's best interest either.

Anonymous wrote:The safe refuge at places like fire stations is because even WOMEN do not always want their babies and want "it all to go away."
It's called Safe Haven Law.
No one should be forced to be a parent. It is not in the child's best interest either.

Actually, the so-called safe refugees at fire stations are a really messed up way to sever a child’s connection to his or her kin forever, and they are dangerously susceptible to coercion and violence toward women who may not actually want to give up their babies.


As we can see in this example, we have an irresponsible and delusional 27-year-old man who has fathered a baby but would like to leave it at a fire station. Now imagine if the mother of the baby had no support systems. Was a victim of abuse. Was in this country illegally. Depending on him for support. He could very easily take the baby from her and leave it at a fire station, and there would be absolutely no accountability for him and no recourse for her. Our domestic infant adoption system is really messed up and exploits, poor and vulnerable women, but at least on its surface, it requires a woman to sign consent papers, and at least in some states provides a brief revocation period for her to change her mind if she is being coerced or pressured, which most relinquishing mothers are. In this case, a vulnerable woman who has a child could easily have a child taken from her by a more powerful man.

Every child deserves to know his or her identity or origin and connection to biological kin. Even if parents choose not to parent, legal adoption provides at least a modicum of legal protection and access to identity for a child.

(Look into how much money is going into these boxes, too…it’s astronomical for an almost nonexistent use case vs the good tha money could do if it were actually helping mothers preserve the family ties to their infants.)

Half of this is weird fantasy

I never would have known about where supposedly "prosperous middle americans" (supposedly populating this board) fall on all sorts of topics

The weird thing to me is that somehow it's presumed that this whole family is white people.

There were pics...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The safe refuge at places like fire stations is because even WOMEN do not always want their babies and want "it all to go away."
It's called Safe Haven Law.
No one should be forced to be a parent. It is not in the child's best interest either.

Anonymous wrote:The safe refuge at places like fire stations is because even WOMEN do not always want their babies and want "it all to go away."
It's called Safe Haven Law.
No one should be forced to be a parent. It is not in the child's best interest either.

Actually, the so-called safe refugees at fire stations are a really messed up way to sever a child’s connection to his or her kin forever, and they are dangerously susceptible to coercion and violence toward women who may not actually want to give up their babies.


As we can see in this example, we have an irresponsible and delusional 27-year-old man who has fathered a baby but would like to leave it at a fire station. Now imagine if the mother of the baby had no support systems. Was a victim of abuse. Was in this country illegally. Depending on him for support. He could very easily take the baby from her and leave it at a fire station, and there would be absolutely no accountability for him and no recourse for her. Our domestic infant adoption system is really messed up and exploits, poor and vulnerable women, but at least on its surface, it requires a woman to sign consent papers, and at least in some states provides a brief revocation period for her to change her mind if she is being coerced or pressured, which most relinquishing mothers are. In this case, a vulnerable woman who has a child could easily have a child taken from her by a more powerful man.

Every child deserves to know his or her identity or origin and connection to biological kin. Even if parents choose not to parent, legal adoption provides at least a modicum of legal protection and access to identity for a child.

(Look into how much money is going into these boxes, too…it’s astronomical for an almost nonexistent use case vs the good tha money could do if it were actually helping mothers preserve the family ties to their infants.)

Half of this is weird fantasy

I never would have known about where supposedly "prosperous middle americans" (supposedly populating this board) fall on all sorts of topics

The weird thing to me is that somehow it's presumed that this whole family is white people.

There were pics...

I saw those. Only an “uncle” and a baby but not the mother … or maybe I have this whole thread wrong

Grandma sounded different to me

[Anonymous]

The mother looked white and do did the baby in an early photo probably since removed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The baby is likely full term. Did OP say they had only been dating 6 months? Even if the baby is only 32 weeks, how is it even possible that the baby is full term?

OP should not be supporting the mother, buying things, promising a credit card until there is a.a paternity test and b.a decision whether to keep it or give it up for adoption. The OP is giving the mother a false sense of how easy and workable it would be to keep the baby. If the mother isn’t ready to be a single mother both financially and from a maturity standpoint then she should seriously consider adoption.

Any woman who is considering relinquishing a baby for adoption for purely financial reasons needs to know she is sentencing herself to a lifetime of emotional trauma and regret for a problem that is very likely both temporary and solvable. And there is no guarantee that the adoptive family will be emotionally healthy, financially stable, or loving. Once she signs the relinquishment, everything is completely out of her control, including whether a family that promised her open adoption might immediately close it. Might get divorce. Might die in an accident leaving the baby to people she didn’t choose.

Adoption is NOT a solution to temporary financial challenges. It is permanent trauma to the mother and most likely significant trauma to the child as well.

(Read Relinquished by Gretchen Sisson for harrowing data about the fate of most relinquishing mothers.)

OP is absolutely doing the right thing here. Even if this baby is not her grandchild, she is being kind and generous to a needy mother and completely innocent infant.

If anyone reading this is considering adoption because of financial challenges, please google Saving our Sisters, a nonprofit created by relinquishing mothers which helps women considering relinquishment get financial and logistical support to preserve their families.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m rooting for you to see the baby soon, and I hope the mom and your son are doing well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The baby is likely full term. Did OP say they had only been dating 6 months? Even if the baby is only 32 weeks, how is it even possible that the baby is full term?

OP should not be supporting the mother, buying things, promising a credit card until there is a.a paternity test and b.a decision whether to keep it or give it up for adoption. The OP is giving the mother a false sense of how easy and workable it would be to keep the baby. If the mother isn’t ready to be a single mother both financially and from a maturity standpoint then she should seriously consider adoption.

Any woman who is considering relinquishing a baby for adoption for purely financial reasons needs to know she is sentencing herself to a lifetime of emotional trauma and regret for a problem that is very likely both temporary and solvable. And there is no guarantee that the adoptive family will be emotionally healthy, financially stable, or loving. Once she signs the relinquishment, everything is completely out of her control, including whether a family that promised her open adoption might immediately close it. Might get divorce. Might die in an accident leaving the baby to people she didn’t choose.

Adoption is NOT a solution to temporary financial challenges. It is permanent trauma to the mother and most likely significant trauma to the child as well.

(Read Relinquished by Gretchen Sisson for harrowing data about the fate of most relinquishing mothers.)

OP is absolutely doing the right thing here. Even if this baby is not her grandchild, she is being kind and generous to a needy mother and completely innocent infant.

If anyone reading this is considering adoption because of financial challenges, please google Saving our Sisters, a nonprofit created by relinquishing mothers which helps women considering relinquishment get financial and logistical support to preserve their families.

Oh lookie pro birth maga has entered the chat .

Screw off saving our sisters BS pro birth crap

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok. You have such wonderful insights.
Apply those powers to yourself too.
I will stop posting on your sagas. No need for the "therapy" thanks.
I am not drunk or schizo.
I am indeed an angry woman wrt this topic.
I remember men from my youth trapped into parenthood (and marriage back in the day) and how their lives and their childs' lives were affected. In a surprising number of incidents, the subsequent divorce proceedings revealed they were not the biological father.

I wish you were on the sofa next to me.

I think we would hold hands. This is some definite crazy.

The only thing anchoring me is that there's a baby. None of this is the baby's fault.

Then stick a pin in your granny dreams and encourage the girl to give the baby over to a reputable adoption agency, The baby will have a far better life than being raised by an idiot mother, drama driven granny and clueless, absent father!

Let me guess, you’re an adopter?

Adoption doesn’t guarantee anyone a “far better life.” This mom is 27 and has a multigenerational support system. The likely father of the child comes from a very wealthy family. The likely grandmother is kind and generous, and the likely uncle is loving and involved. In the grand scheme of things, it’s a pretty promising start for a baby.

Adopters could be narcissists. The are likely wealthy but there is no guarantee they are moral or decent or stable or emotionally healthy in any way.

Most importantly, though, there is no reason to believe this woman wants to permanently sever ties to this infant she finds herself mothering. That is an extreme and drastic position. Even most women with cryptic pregnancies don’t want to give away their infants forever. That’s a lifetime of grief that can never be fixed.