What do you say?
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Anonymous
It could well be a full term baby. I was, and was only 5 lb 10 oz. |
Anonymous
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Nobody gives a rat's @ss what granny fever OP does whether or not she is biologically related. She can move everyone in with her.
The objection is her switch from first posts on tellin son she will support him no matter what to deciding sisterhood is powerful and she switched to supporting baby and its mother, not her son. She left son to her reviled ex. Perhaps her scars from xDH trauma lec her to decide son is obliged to be daddy no matter what. She doesn't care if he even is the father, is trying to get him legally required to do support and not interested in who the father actually is. Just wants a BAY BEE. No one male or female should be forced to be a parent. Child support if biological parent yes. But not be a parent. We don't know how sexually experienced or physiologically savvy OP son is. They were not living together. We don't know how often or when they had relations. Sure cryptic pregnancy is a thing. But right now OP is not even interested in supporting son with paternity test. Hi evil MD dad and the lawyer are the only ones on his side NO MATTER WHAT. |
Anonymous
| Am I the only one not hung up on this "no matter what" thing? I feel like OP made that statement way back when first posting and it was referring to the couple deciding to move forward with a pregnancy or abort before they knew how far along she was. I didn't really interpret that to also include, "dump the girlfriend and get a pitbull lawyer to absolutely make sure you sever all ties with her and your child." |
Anonymous
OP here The 32 week quote was from an advanced ultrasound clinic but there was no LMP known so they were in the dark and had to go by measurements. He was 6lb4 so he could very well have been more weeks closer to term. Cryptic pregnancies (and someone here told me that term) are just not routinely seen. She went into labor 4 days after the “32” week quote, it all happened quite quickly. I’m just saying I can’t believe there’s any master plan when no woman can predict with a 1st pregnancy how you will carry, whether you will throw up every morning, when you will go into labor … those are things that lots of women would surely like to control, but those things just cannot be controlled like that. “I’d like to get to be 7-8 months pregnant without ever looking pregnant” “I would like to act like I’m not pregnant and have no one notice until the very last minute” … if someone says that’s an actual choice, that’s a joke. That’s not reality. Pregnancy is one of those things everyone likes to believe they can control how it goes, but there’s no modern medicine even for the wealthy that can stop a late term miscarriage or stillbirth and “healthy” babies are born all the time to women who didn’t follow all the “rules” Anyway, I have still not met the baby, that would be violating my son’s current boundaries and I am OK with that. I just did get delivered what I could. I didn’t give anyone a check. Diapers, formula, baby supplies, clothes, some baby blankets I had not yet donated because I currently don’t have a car. I actually woke up very worried for my son today because my older son was telling me he initially was so far into fantasy world of “this is not happening” that he apparently actually tried to look up how you could leave a newborn at a fire station. Even his brother was like “hold on, buddy, we have to dial this all down ASAP” and he has been a godsend all this week. I texted him today after 5 days of silence that even though the game has changed I am still always on his team and I am still here whenever he needs me and he said thank you for respecting my boundaries and I very much appreciate your allowing me to make my own decisions with this ongoing decisions. I was seriously worried a few times in the dead of last night that he might harm himself. I don’t think he has seen the baby himself yet (which means he’s still got all the supplies I gave him on Sunday morning ahead of the snow). OK I can’t control that. But they won’t go bad, either, all the RTF formula I had I had delivered fresh (but not by me) |
Anonymous
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OP still here
My oldest son made a tactical error contacting his favorite local uncle to have lunch, which unfortunately resulted in the uncle giving away to the larger family that my son was back stateside without telling them. I haven’t heard anything from them about it which is also OK because I don’t have to come up with saying anything that will come back on me. But that’s the update. Oldest son still here in the US until early next week. Doing the Lord’s work (PS we are not religious, it’s just an expression) |
Anonymous
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The safe refuge at places like fire stations is because even WOMEN do not always want their babies and want "it all to go away."
It's called Safe Haven Law. No one should be forced to be a parent. It is not in the child's best interest either. |
Anonymous
| Get the paternity test. Reality either way can only help. |
Anonymous
OK you are a little bit crazy You're literally constructing an entire narrative over something ... are you high? Are you drunk? Are you angry? I don't even know You're just acting message board schizophrenic and I suggest maybe you might want to find another thread or even message board I don't know you. You don't know me. I hope you aren't as vitriolic about all your feelings like you are here. CALM DOWN take a breath you'll be OK I promise, I will never meet you, you will never meet me. JUST BREATHE |
Anonymous
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Ok. You have such wonderful insights.
Apply those powers to yourself too. I will stop posting on your sagas. No need for the "therapy" thanks. I am not drunk or schizo. I am indeed an angry woman wrt this topic. I remember men from my youth trapped into parenthood (and marriage back in the day) and how their lives and their childs' lives were affected. In a surprising number of incidents, the subsequent divorce proceedings revealed they were not the biological father. |
Anonymous
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"I wonder OP…why don’t you ask to go visit your grandchild?"
Good question Because we have feet of snow rn I do not have a car I would be violating my son's requests for me t9 sit aside rn. Mom & baby live about 45 mins away and I would be injecting myself into a household where currently I might not even be needed since she lives with her mom and grandmother. I'm not trying to do that I didn't even know where they lived until a few days ago when Amazon cut me off for formula and I needed to ask Walmart to deliver to them. No I didn't pay incredible attention to my adult son's girlfriend whom I have met only a few times. I was friendly. She told me things about her family where I was like, "OK"! Because no one's family is perfect. And she wasn't my son's wife there was no wedding, they were just dating. I think they were gaming friends with benefits but who am I to judge what my adult son does, I don't need to know the names of all his friends etc. If I ever said anything like that I would have been called a crazy helicopter mom, probably. This stuff is still even just 2+ weeks old This baby just tumbled out of the sky, mostly. Metaphorically, obviously. But it's really such a shock that even our large local family doesn't know about the baby yet. On the thread about 2026 resolutions here I said "I just don't want to it to be 2025 anymore" and I truly just got my ass kicked into the next years. Just in a different way, and maybe with luck I get to have a different positive focus I guess I just never had a master class for my sons on when "a woman tries to trap you with a pregnancy" because I never felt like that was a thing |
Anonymous
I wish you were on the sofa next to me. I think we would hold hands. This is some definite crazy. The only thing anchoring me is that there's a baby. None of this is the baby's fault. |
Anonymous
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PS I am not trying to be a saint
I am not religious this is just a bunch of family crisis that I can't control You are very cool for responding the way you did |
Anonymous
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The baby is likely full term. Did OP say they had only been dating 6 months? Even if the baby is only 32 weeks, how is it even possible that the baby is full term?
OP should not be supporting the mother, buying things, promising a credit card until there is a.a paternity test and b.a decision whether to keep it or give it up for adoption. The OP is giving the mother a false sense of how easy and workable it would be to keep the baby. If the mother isn’t ready to be a single mother both financially and from a maturity standpoint then she should seriously consider adoption. |
Anonymous
Then stick a pin in your granny dreams and encourage the girl to give the baby over to a reputable adoption agency, The baby will have a far better life than being raised by an idiot mother, drama driven granny and clueless, absent father! |
Anonymous
Where does it say he's still in college? |