Serious question about men v women and aging

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree it’s a myth that young women want to have sex with 40+ year olds (and definitely not 55+ year olds), unless they’re paying for or leading them in in some way.

This. They can dream on.

[Anonymous]

All cats are gray in the dark

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mid 40s male here. I'm way more attractive and put together now than I was in my 20s and early 30s, when I was a pure workaholic. It's like shooting fish in a barrel now with women in their 20s and 30s. I avoid mid 30s because they start to want to have kids. Real money and power are the most effective aphrodisiacs I've ever experienced. If you look back at thousands of years of human history, this seems to be normal.

Exactly. It’s the money and power, not the actual person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

. If you manage to find a younger woman to be with, it is because she is either superficial/materialistic and using you for money, or has daddy issues and is crazy.

LOL more bitter older woman cope.

“He doesn’t want me, so the women he’s with must be broken somehow.” 😂😂😂

I guess we can call your post bitter old man cope then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid 40s male here. I'm way more attractive and put together now than I was in my 20s and early 30s, when I was a pure workaholic. It's like shooting fish in a barrel now with women in their 20s and 30s. I avoid mid 30s because they start to want to have kids. Real money and power are the most effective aphrodisiacs I've ever experienced. If you look back at thousands of years of human history, this seems to be normal.

Exactly. It’s the money and power, not the actual person.

That's an adolescent view of reality. Someone's achievements become part of their identity and make them who they are. If you've ever been around really powerful people you can see this dynamic at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid 40s male here. I'm way more attractive and put together now than I was in my 20s and early 30s, when I was a pure workaholic. It's like shooting fish in a barrel now with women in their 20s and 30s. I avoid mid 30s because they start to want to have kids. Real money and power are the most effective aphrodisiacs I've ever experienced. If you look back at thousands of years of human history, this seems to be normal.

Exactly. It’s the money and power, not the actual person.

That's an adolescent view of reality. Someone's achievements become part of their identity and make them who they are. If you've ever been around really powerful people you can see this dynamic at work.

NP So you are saying: Absolute power corrupts absolutely?

[Anonymous]

The PP said that money and power are what is attractive about him. Take those things away and would PP be attractive? Is there anything inherently attractive about PP - even his looks?

OTOH, if all that PP - or anyone - wants is a strictly physical relationship, then it probably doesn’t matter much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a myth that there are lots of young women who would have sex with 55 plus men. Or 40 plus.

Keep thinking that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a myth that there are lots of young women who would have sex with 55 plus men. Or 40 plus.

Keep thinking that.

I know it. I know lots of young women. I know they aren’t regularly having sex with old men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a myth that there are lots of young women who would have sex with 55 plus men. Or 40 plus.

Keep thinking that.

I know it. I know lots of young women. I know they aren’t regularly having sex with old men.

This. Those of us actually in this age group know the truth. The two women I know who either are in or have been in relationships with much older guys have serious issues. Everyone else wants a guy our own age or within a couple years. We have a few friends who married “older guys”. What that means is the married someone mid to late 30s when they were late 20s or early 30s. A ten year age gap is considered a lot and will prompt a lot of discussion about whether they will have enough in common, if it will be a problem that they might be in different life stages, etc. it’s considered a real outlier. A 15+ age gap would be considered a major red flag. Any man over the age of 50 would be a WTF. Even if he were rich.

You might think “oh, I have no problem finding 20-something women to date” as a man in your 50s. You don’t realize the degree to which you are fishing from an extremely shallow pool. Those women didn’t pick you over some 32 yr old lawyer. They didn’t pick you at all, really. She’s going through something and you are a symptom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given that sex is non-negotiable to men and always will be, and women start to have more trouble with it after menopause, what really is the right answer to this? I find it incredible that most 55+ men married to similarly aged or older women are not boning younger women just because they still can. Just for the release not for the intimacy and without ever leaving their wives. I'm not saying I like, condone, promote or defend it. Just that it is actually a difficult situation for which I have some sympathy. Am I wrong?

Your given isn't exactly "given." You haven't even defined your terms. How much sex? What kind? Every couple negotiates those variables in one way or another. Women do have more trouble after menopause. Men have trouble as they age too. Lubrication and medication can help these things. Also, having sex less often starts sounding less objectionable for many couples (including the men.) As for the "release," rumor has it that some men have, in rare instances, been known to release themselves. Or, if not rarely, possibly close to every man, every day starting at age 13.

Are you wrong? As the math saying goes, you're underlying premises are so far off, not only are you not right. You're not even wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Given that sex is non-negotiable to men and always will be, and women start to have more trouble with it after menopause, what really is the right answer to this? I find it incredible that most 55+ men married to similarly aged or older women are not boning younger women just because they still can. Just for the release not for the intimacy and without ever leaving their wives. I'm not saying I like, condone, promote or defend it. Just that it is actually a difficult situation for which I have some sympathy. Am I wrong?

Your given isn't exactly "given." You haven't even defined your terms. How much sex? What kind? Every couple negotiates those variables in one way or another. Women do have more trouble after menopause. Men have trouble as they age too. Lubrication and medication can help these things. Also, having sex less often starts sounding less objectionable for many couples (including the men.) As for the "release," rumor has it that some men have, in rare instances, been known to release themselves. Or, if not rarely, possibly close to every man, every day starting at age 13.

Are you wrong? As the math saying goes, you're underlying premises are so far off, not only are you not right. You're not even wrong.

This is the most reasonable post on this thread. Over the age of 50, sex is unlikely to be the primary reason for marital discord or divorce. It’s a factor, but for many couples a diminishing one. That doesn’t mean people who divorce at this age might not look forward to more compatible sex lives with new partners. But it’s more complex than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree it’s a myth that young women want to have sex with 40+ year olds (and definitely not 55+ year olds), unless they’re paying for or leading them in in some way.

This. They can dream on.

Oh, the memories, of being in my twenties and even thirties and thinking some older man was asking me to coffee because we worked in the same field or we had interests in common and surely he wasn't trying to hit on me because he has daughters my age and he's a few decades older than me. I was never into it. I was never flattered.

[Anonymous]

As a 26-year old I would have found 40+ year old men repulsive to sleep with.

I was all about the young, fit hotties within a couple years up or down of my age. I also spent a lot of time at happy hours, Dewey beach, hiking, marathon running, socializing...and an old man...just no!!

I met my husband (1.5 years younger at that time). He spoke two languages and traveled extensively (internationally) for work. I accompanied him on a lot of those trips, lucky to have a flexible career with good leave benefit. His company also paid for significant others to travel. With all of his frequent flier miles we were in first class most of the time.

I also managed to finish my grad degree nights and advance in my own career. It was a really fun time. We waited 7years to have our kids.

I can't imagine starting my life with an old fart. Nor, would I now want to be 51 with a 70 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a myth that there are lots of young women who would have sex with 55 plus men. Or 40 plus.

Keep thinking that.

I know it. I know lots of young women. I know they aren’t regularly having sex with old men.

This. Those of us actually in this age group know the truth. The two women I know who either are in or have been in relationships with much older guys have serious issues. Everyone else wants a guy our own age or within a couple years. We have a few friends who married “older guys”. What that means is the married someone mid to late 30s when they were late 20s or early 30s. A ten year age gap is considered a lot and will prompt a lot of discussion about whether they will have enough in common, if it will be a problem that they might be in different life stages, etc. it’s considered a real outlier. A 15+ age gap would be considered a major red flag. Any man over the age of 50 would be a WTF. Even if he were rich.

You might think “oh, I have no problem finding 20-something women to date” as a man in your 50s. You don’t realize the degree to which you are fishing from an extremely shallow pool. Those women didn’t pick you over some 32 yr old lawyer. They didn’t pick you at all, really. She’s going through something and you are a symptom.

Bingo. If you are a man more than 5 or so years older, you need to be wondering what could be wrong with her. 10 years, and you know something is wrong. It’s just not a choice most well adjusted women make.