How to deal with 16 DD who reads fanfiction porn

[Anonymous]

you need to give your 16 year old some privacy. wtf. you’re going to mess her up for life. get her actual therapy for the skin picking and leave her sexuality alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, everyone in my generation read Flowers in the Attic (INCEST) and Clan of the Cave Bear (RAPE) and we all turned out more or less okay.

If she's reading fanfic porn, she's probably not doing sex. I'd consider it a good trade-off.

Those two book series are exactly what I thought of when I read this too. And I was a lot younger than 16!

But in those books the incest and rape aren’t there to turn you on.

umm that is a naive take!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly? I would ignore it. I went through a phase as a teen where I read some super weird sexually explicit stuff, more problematic than a bunch of fanfic, in published romance and horror novels. I didn't do anything sexual as a teen and am a profoundly vanilla adult. Some kids prefer to do all their sexual experimentation in the realm of fiction which has the bonus of being a 0% risk of STIs.

This. You might not know this (and my mother certainly didn't) but a LOT of thriller/horror novels have extremely graphic sex scenes in them. Very explicit, very detailed, definitely not vanilla sex like the PP said. Eh. I don't really read that stuff now, and have not had more than a normal amount of lovers, am married, have kids, career, the usual normal DCUM stuff.

[Anonymous]

Lol. What’s her fandom? I’ll rec some nice schmoopy porn.

Honestly, op. There is zero you can do about it, nor should you. And I can tell you with a great conviction that some of the more bizarre and disturbing stuff is basically psycho drama for actual issues teens have. Fascinated by or frightened of pregnancy? Try mpreg. Grappling with the reality of gender roles and how they constrain choices? Hello omegaverse.

Please believe me when I tell you that you do not understand what’s going on here. Since there’s nothing you can do about it, and you don’t understand it, leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Give her access to erotica that you approve of. She might not be able to find it for free. And block the bad site.

This isn’t a parenting tip, but there is so much good smut on kindle unlimited books. Bad smut too, but all of it that I have read makes consent, safe sex, and characters over 18 a given. Even really dark ones with rape fantasy and voyeurism and stuff.

OP’s DD might like Cora Riley’s mafia romances or Elle Kennedy’s series about college hockey players. LJ Shen some good books too.

My DS is a college hockey player. He read part of one, and almost laughed himself senseless. (off topic, I know)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, everyone in my generation read Flowers in the Attic (INCEST) and Clan of the Cave Bear (RAPE) and we all turned out more or less okay.

If she's reading fanfic porn, she's probably not doing sex. I'd consider it a good trade-off.

Those two book series are exactly what I thought of when I read this too. And I was a lot younger than 16!

But in those books the incest and rape aren’t there to turn you on.

Of course they were. (are)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have discovered for the third time that my DD (who is 16) is reading fan-fiction porn. There are sites like Archieve of our Own where people post the fan fiction that they write, and some of it is just ordinary bad (bad writing), but the rest of it is porn - and not romantic porn, but hard core disturbing porn (stories or gang rape, male on male rape/sex, kids watching, etc). When we discovered it before, we have told her that her curiousity is normal, totally age appropriate but that we don't feel like this is the kind of material she should be reading. We asked her to stop, she agreed, and we casually monitored her internet use - meaning I didn't check what she was doing every day, but would occassionally look. After the second time we discovered it, we put a tracking software on, and that helped, but it isn't 100% teenproof and this is the third time we have discovered her accessing it again. I think she feels guilty about it. She has some issues of picking at her skin...and I think it is related to the guilt, tension she feels about reading this stuff. I think it is time for us to block her access to the site....but it is hard to completely block a site ...and then of course she can probably find this stuff somewhere else....and I don't want her to turn to videos. We have a fairly open relationship, but this is hard. We have really tried to avoid shaming her, but the content is so disturbing to me, that is is hard avoid some shame. Any advice? Please -helpful and thoughtful posts only.

What the hell? She's 16. This is like... the most ridiculously developmentally appropriate thing. In two years she will be in college. She should be able able to read and self police the content she's willing to see. I cannot believe you have a tracking software on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have seen dozens of tiktok videos from liberal/leftist Gen Z creators who said that their parents’ giving them unfettered access to the internet at a young age really messed them up and they will not make the same mistake, and those videos have thousands of likes, shares, etc. I wonder if this is the kind of stuff they are talking about?

Anyway, I’ll just reiterate that I think erotica is all good but the kind of stuff OP’s daughter is reading isn’t appropriate for minors.

Again OP this site will make you think everything and anything goes and it’s all normal and healthy. It is not and your doctor is the best person to seek advices from, teens need boundaries and guidance even when they think they don’t. Please don’t take advice on this subject from this board. At the bare minimum google some reputable medical sources.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have seen dozens of tiktok videos from liberal/leftist Gen Z creators who said that their parents’ giving them unfettered access to the internet at a young age really messed them up and they will not make the same mistake, and those videos have thousands of likes, shares, etc. I wonder if this is the kind of stuff they are talking about?

Anyway, I’ll just reiterate that I think erotica is all good but the kind of stuff OP’s daughter is reading isn’t appropriate for minors.

Again OP this site will make you think everything and anything goes and it’s all normal and healthy. It is not and your doctor is the best person to seek advices from, teens need boundaries and guidance even when they think they don’t. Please don’t take advice on this subject from this board. At the bare minimum google some reputable medical sources.

If you start informing on her to her doctor abt her porn preferences she’s not going to ever agree to go to that doctor again, FYI.

[Anonymous]

BTS fandom has a few excellent AO3 authors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have seen dozens of tiktok videos from liberal/leftist Gen Z creators who said that their parents’ giving them unfettered access to the internet at a young age really messed them up and they will not make the same mistake, and those videos have thousands of likes, shares, etc. I wonder if this is the kind of stuff they are talking about?

Anyway, I’ll just reiterate that I think erotica is all good but the kind of stuff OP’s daughter is reading isn’t appropriate for minors.

Again OP this site will make you think everything and anything goes and it’s all normal and healthy. It is not and your doctor is the best person to seek advices from, teens need boundaries and guidance even when they think they don’t. Please don’t take advice on this subject from this board. At the bare minimum google some reputable medical sources.

It suddenly dawned on me that OP and the Sandra Dee posters must be 1st generation immigrants from countries that stifle female sexuality

[Anonymous]

I read AO3 regularly and while there are some topics that may not be age appropriate, you can easily filter what interests you - such as PP mentioned before - stories based in the BTS fandom, Harry Potter, Drarry, 1D, Larry, Glee, Marvel etc. I would be willing to bet that's what this teen is reading. And OP is wrong. Some of it is horrible writing, but you can tell in about 2 seconds if you have a true author on your hands or someone who wrote something in 30 minutes. Some of these authors take great pride in their work. The quality there is surprisingly good, you just have to filter your choices. Plus, a story will tell you how many "hits" it has had, which will quickly tell you if it's good or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have seen dozens of tiktok videos from liberal/leftist Gen Z creators who said that their parents’ giving them unfettered access to the internet at a young age really messed them up and they will not make the same mistake, and those videos have thousands of likes, shares, etc. I wonder if this is the kind of stuff they are talking about?

Anyway, I’ll just reiterate that I think erotica is all good but the kind of stuff OP’s daughter is reading isn’t appropriate for minors.

Again OP this site will make you think everything and anything goes and it’s all normal and healthy. It is not and your doctor is the best person to seek advices from, teens need boundaries and guidance even when they think they don’t. Please don’t take advice on this subject from this board. At the bare minimum google some reputable medical sources.

I hope you don't actually have children. Telling HER DOCTOR about her porn preferences would be the ultimate humiliation and betrayal of trust and privacy.
You're the type of parent that make kids move 1000 miles away to get as far away from you as possible

[Anonymous]

Yup. Hate to see people shitting on AO3 that haven't read a story on there. Wattpad is horrific and written by teens. Fiction on AO3 is written by some amazingly talented authors from various fandoms.

[Anonymous]

Women reading m/m smut is one of those things that's astonishingly common and almost never discussed. I used to know a lesbian who exclusively wrote X-Men m/m porn. She was still a lesbian, an old-school Park Slope lesbian. But it's a thing. I see the appeal myself, I just wish more of it was good.

I'm pretty sure my 14 yo writes smut on AO3. I never ever want to read it. Boundaries, people.