Mean "big" kids at the community pool

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So dramatic. It wasn't "kids" it was one kid. If your daughter isn't successful getting the toys back then you just ask the boy for them. Almost all of the time he will hand them over. Does your daughter have no siblings? If she did you wouldn't be so "disgusted". Get over it.

She’s asking for advice, GTFOY.

Are you new here?

No, are you, b:tch? Don’t start your cahunty “get over it” when you’re so delicate that being told to get over yourself is a problem.

OP, step in next time. No prob.

Why so triggered? So much bleepity bleeping. And what is cahunty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So dramatic. It wasn't "kids" it was one kid. If your daughter isn't successful getting the toys back then you just ask the boy for them. Almost all of the time he will hand them over. Does your daughter have no siblings? If she did you wouldn't be so "disgusted". Get over it.

She’s asking for advice, GTFOY.

Are you new here?

No, are you, b:tch? Don’t start your cahunty “get over it” when you’re so delicate that being told to get over yourself is a problem.

OP, step in next time. No prob.

Why so triggered? So much bleepity bleeping. And what is cahunty.

Boy, you’re dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
At the pool yesterday, an older boy took some of my daughter's pool toys. My daughter is 6, but tall for her age. When DD asked for the toy back, the older boy gleefully held it out of her reach and refused to give it to her. DD started crying and yelling at him, but he still wouldn't give it back.

My DH said we shouldn't intervene, but I was disgusted that this boy, probably 10 years old and much larger than DD, was taking things and taunting my daughter. His mother did not intervene at all, nor did the lifeguard. I wanted to have a few words with the little twit, but DH wanted DD to handle it.

What would you have done? How would you tell your DD to handle this?

I would have spoken to the life guard and asked for a .meeting with whoever is the boss of the pool and get the other kid one warning and if he did it again then he is banned from pool. His mother sounds like she doesn' care.

LOL BANNED from the pool over a toy??? Get over yourself

Right? Who are you people who can’t handle the slightest confrontation? Is life always this hard? Have you been quarantining so hard you forgot how to function? This is not a big deal.

The bully’s mom found the thread!
Boy will be boys amirite?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd like to think I'd step in but once when one of my kids was 18 months I had her in the community baby pool. They called for adult swim and four kids came barreling into the baby pool and one jumped right onto my toddler, knocking her down. These kids were between 6-8 and no adults followed them. I told the one who knocked into her to watch it and that if she couldn't be careful she should stay out of the baby pool.

The mom eventually got word and followed me out to the parking lot trying to shame me. She later got my email from someone she saw me chatting with that she also happened to know. She sent me this crazy email accusing me of giving nasty looks to one of her other kids and making threats about ruining my reputation and getting me kicked out of the pool.

So now I mostly just observe because I don't want to deal with any psycho parents.

The apple apparently didn't fall far from the tree in that case. I would have firmly spoken right back at the mom in the parking lot about personal property and if she continued the threats would have reported her immediately. She probably already has a reputation.

Also, PSA, don't give people other people's email addresses. They are not yours to give.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s good she asked for it back herself in the first place but once she did that and he didn’t give the toys back - I would have gotten involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want my kids to stand up for themselves, but I do think in that situation I would walk up and say “cut it out—give back the toy” in a firm voice. Kids think they can get away with stuff if nobody is watching. Then at home talk about how she can do it next time. Practice it with her. Sometimes kids need adult help to avoid bullies, that’s ok. Especially at age 6.

+1

Though I wouldn’t go so far as to call this kid a bully for a one-off. One of the few times I’ll intervene is when the kid bugging mine is much older. That’s not cool.

-Mom of 9, 7, and 5 year olds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
At the pool yesterday, an older boy took some of my daughter's pool toys. My daughter is 6, but tall for her age. When DD asked for the toy back, the older boy gleefully held it out of her reach and refused to give it to her. DD started crying and yelling at him, but he still wouldn't give it back.

My DH said we shouldn't intervene, but I was disgusted that this boy, probably 10 years old and much larger than DD, was taking things and taunting my daughter. His mother did not intervene at all, nor did the lifeguard. I wanted to have a few words with the little twit, but DH wanted DD to handle it.

What would you have done? How would you tell your DD to handle this?

I would have spoken to the life guard and asked for a .meeting with whoever is the boss of the pool and get the other kid one warning and if he did it again then he is banned from pool. His mother sounds like she doesn' care.

LOL BANNED from the pool over a toy??? Get over yourself

Right? Who are you people who can’t handle the slightest confrontation? Is life always this hard? Have you been quarantining so hard you forgot how to function? This is not a big deal.

The bully’s mom found the thread!
Boy will be boys amirite?

No, but you are dense and don't seem well socialized. I have boys and girls. I think you need to re-enter society slowly since you've apparently been in your basement for the past year and a half and forgot what public places are like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd like to think I'd step in but once when one of my kids was 18 months I had her in the community baby pool. They called for adult swim and four kids came barreling into the baby pool and one jumped right onto my toddler, knocking her down. These kids were between 6-8 and no adults followed them. I told the one who knocked into her to watch it and that if she couldn't be careful she should stay out of the baby pool.

The mom eventually got word and followed me out to the parking lot trying to shame me. She later got my email from someone she saw me chatting with that she also happened to know. She sent me this crazy email accusing me of giving nasty looks to one of her other kids and making threats about ruining my reputation and getting me kicked out of the pool.

So now I mostly just observe because I don't want to deal with any psycho parents.

The apple apparently didn't fall far from the tree in that case. I would have firmly spoken right back at the mom in the parking lot about personal property and if she continued the threats would have reported her immediately. She probably already has a reputation.

Also, PSA, don't give people other people's email addresses. They are not yours to give.

People are crazy. You have to expect that not everyone will act the way you want or expect them to in public. But a confrontation in the parking lot is not likely to end well. What are you going to do if crazy parent gets physical? In front of your kids? It's not worth it. You're likely to find yourself kicked out of the pool too for harassing and escalation the situation with your parking lot chat. And your kids aren't going to be glad you got them kicked out they are going to be super embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd like to think I'd step in but once when one of my kids was 18 months I had her in the community baby pool. They called for adult swim and four kids came barreling into the baby pool and one jumped right onto my toddler, knocking her down. These kids were between 6-8 and no adults followed them. I told the one who knocked into her to watch it and that if she couldn't be careful she should stay out of the baby pool.

The mom eventually got word and followed me out to the parking lot trying to shame me. She later got my email from someone she saw me chatting with that she also happened to know. She sent me this crazy email accusing me of giving nasty looks to one of her other kids and making threats about ruining my reputation and getting me kicked out of the pool.

So now I mostly just observe because I don't want to deal with any psycho parents.

The apple apparently didn't fall far from the tree in that case. I would have firmly spoken right back at the mom in the parking lot about personal property and if she continued the threats would have reported her immediately. She probably already has a reputation.

Also, PSA, don't give people other people's email addresses. They are not yours to give.

People are crazy. You have to expect that not everyone will act the way you want or expect them to in public. But a confrontation in the parking lot is not likely to end well. What are you going to do if crazy parent gets physical? In front of your kids? It's not worth it. You're likely to find yourself kicked out of the pool too for harassing and escalation the situation with your parking lot chat. And your kids aren't going to be glad you got them kicked out they are going to be super embarrassed.

So instead you let both the mom bully you and the kid bully your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
At the pool yesterday, an older boy took some of my daughter's pool toys. My daughter is 6, but tall for her age. When DD asked for the toy back, the older boy gleefully held it out of her reach and refused to give it to her. DD started crying and yelling at him, but he still wouldn't give it back.

My DH said we shouldn't intervene, but I was disgusted that this boy, probably 10 years old and much larger than DD, was taking things and taunting my daughter. His mother did not intervene at all, nor did the lifeguard. I wanted to have a few words with the little twit, but DH wanted DD to handle it.

What would you have done? How would you tell your DD to handle this?

I would have spoken to the life guard and asked for a .meeting with whoever is the boss of the pool and get the other kid one warning and if he did it again then he is banned from pool. His mother sounds like she doesn' care.

Welcome, Karen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course you intervene. A 10 yo being an a$$ to a 6 yo? I’d have stepped in if I saw it, even if I didn’t know the kids. What is wrong with your dh?

+1
I don't think I could have seen this happen with anyone's kids and not intervened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
At the pool yesterday, an older boy took some of my daughter's pool toys. My daughter is 6, but tall for her age. When DD asked for the toy back, the older boy gleefully held it out of her reach and refused to give it to her. DD started crying and yelling at him, but he still wouldn't give it back.

My DH said we shouldn't intervene, but I was disgusted that this boy, probably 10 years old and much larger than DD, was taking things and taunting my daughter. His mother did not intervene at all, nor did the lifeguard. I wanted to have a few words with the little twit, but DH wanted DD to handle it.

What would you have done? How would you tell your DD to handle this?

I would have spoken to the life guard and asked for a .meeting with whoever is the boss of the pool and get the other kid one warning and if he did it again then he is banned from pool. His mother sounds like she doesn' care.

LOL BANNED from the pool over a toy??? Get over yourself

He had no right to take her toys and bulky her. Bullies should be banned from pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd like to think I'd step in but once when one of my kids was 18 months I had her in the community baby pool. They called for adult swim and four kids came barreling into the baby pool and one jumped right onto my toddler, knocking her down. These kids were between 6-8 and no adults followed them. I told the one who knocked into her to watch it and that if she couldn't be careful she should stay out of the baby pool.

The mom eventually got word and followed me out to the parking lot trying to shame me. She later got my email from someone she saw me chatting with that she also happened to know. She sent me this crazy email accusing me of giving nasty looks to one of her other kids and making threats about ruining my reputation and getting me kicked out of the pool.

So now I mostly just observe because I don't want to deal with any psycho parents.

The apple apparently didn't fall far from the tree in that case. I would have firmly spoken right back at the mom in the parking lot about personal property and if she continued the threats would have reported her immediately. She probably already has a reputation.

Also, PSA, don't give people other people's email addresses. They are not yours to give.

People are crazy. You have to expect that not everyone will act the way you want or expect them to in public. But a confrontation in the parking lot is not likely to end well. What are you going to do if crazy parent gets physical? In front of your kids? It's not worth it. You're likely to find yourself kicked out of the pool too for harassing and escalation the situation with your parking lot chat. And your kids aren't going to be glad you got them kicked out they are going to be super embarrassed.

So instead you let both the mom bully you and the kid bully your kid?

I'm not going to challenge her to a duel, no. You can just ignore and walk away. Confrontation usually isn't the answer. And again, if it gets physical, then what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
At the pool yesterday, an older boy took some of my daughter's pool toys. My daughter is 6, but tall for her age. When DD asked for the toy back, the older boy gleefully held it out of her reach and refused to give it to her. DD started crying and yelling at him, but he still wouldn't give it back.

My DH said we shouldn't intervene, but I was disgusted that this boy, probably 10 years old and much larger than DD, was taking things and taunting my daughter. His mother did not intervene at all, nor did the lifeguard. I wanted to have a few words with the little twit, but DH wanted DD to handle it.

What would you have done? How would you tell your DD to handle this?

I would have spoken to the life guard and asked for a .meeting with whoever is the boss of the pool and get the other kid one warning and if he did it again then he is banned from pool. His mother sounds like she doesn' care.

LOL BANNED from the pool over a toy??? Get over yourself

He had no right to take her toys and bulky her. Bullies should be banned from pool.

Of course he had no right, but its a kid and they make stupid decisions. Ask for the toy back first. If this is a repeated incident where this one kid is targeting you or your kid, then you escalate. But this one thing doesn't sound like a big deal. Also, keep the toys at home if your kid can't handle the idea of sharing or freaks out if another kid touches her toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you intervene. A 10 yo being an a$$ to a 6 yo? I’d have stepped in if I saw it, even if I didn’t know the kids. What is wrong with your dh?

+1
I don't think I could have seen this happen with anyone's kids and not intervened.

People are not arguing about intervention, practically everybody agreed it’s appropriate. The problem is to turn a simple “give back the toys and leave her alone” into a saga.