If you are a parent, how do you see people who aren’t?

[Anonymous]

If I know they wanted children and couldn’t have them I feel bad for them. I only know this to be the case for one couple - otherwise I have no idea why someone is child free. But when I say I feel sorry for them, it’s not something I think about all that often.

For those who didn’t want kids and did other things, honestly I think they are probably more interesting than I am.

[Anonymous]

I don't think about them in a negative way, in some ways I'm jealous of their freedoms. But I do hate when people who don't have kids complain about being tired or not having enough time. Or having to work late and miss their yoga class. It's ok to feel that way but don't complain about it to a mom with young kids.

I often wonder how many of my childless friends would handle being parents, especially seeing some of the people I do know with kids who can barely keep it together. I think its just really hard to be able to understand the magnitude of how much parenting changes your life and then they try to compare your experience as a parent with their experience as an aunt or godmother or whatever. I get that they are just trying to participate in the conversation and I appreciate that but it's like talking to your friend with cancer about how you felt when you had a cold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think about them in a negative way, in some ways I'm jealous of their freedoms. But I do hate when people who don't have kids complain about being tired or not having enough time. Or having to work late and miss their yoga class. It's ok to feel that way but don't complain about it to a mom with young kids.

I often wonder how many of my childless friends would handle being parents, especially seeing some of the people I do know with kids who can barely keep it together. I think its just really hard to be able to understand the magnitude of how much parenting changes your life and then they try to compare your experience as a parent with their experience as an aunt or godmother or whatever. I get that they are just trying to participate in the conversation and I appreciate that but it's like talking to your friend with cancer about how you felt when you had a cold.

I'm both a parent and a cancer survivor and the bold is just plain idiotic. Some of you really need to get your head out of your ass and realize you are not the first or last person on earth to have children,,it's been going on for millennia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i envy their freedom. Hobbies, focus on jobs, healthy bodies, relaxation, vacations. All things I miss.

All things you choose not to participate in. Also, you know, being childfree guarantees none of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think about them in a negative way, in some ways I'm jealous of their freedoms. But I do hate when people who don't have kids complain about being tired or not having enough time. Or having to work late and miss their yoga class. It's ok to feel that way but don't complain about it to a mom with young kids.

I often wonder how many of my childless friends would handle being parents, especially seeing some of the people I do know with kids who can barely keep it together. I think its just really hard to be able to understand the magnitude of how much parenting changes your life and then they try to compare your experience as a parent with their experience as an aunt or godmother or whatever. I get that they are just trying to participate in the conversation and I appreciate that but it's like talking to your friend with cancer about how you felt when you had a cold.

They understand, which is why they made a different choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Completely different that you wanted them but it didn't work out.

I give like 10% thought to people who didn't have children but could have, but didn't want them. I think they have denied themselves having a full life, the full human experience.

However, again, different from you. You have recognized that there does exist a loss. I am sorry for your loss, btw. I think your loss will be apparent to others, on some level, spoken or not.

Oh, gag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Completely different that you wanted them but it didn't work out.

I give like 10% thought to people who didn't have children but could have, but didn't want them. I think they have denied themselves having a full life, the full human experience.

However, again, different from you. You have recognized that there does exist a loss. I am sorry for your loss, btw. I think your loss will be apparent to others, on some level, spoken or not.

Similar to this, I find them a little self-centered in a way that anyone is when they don't have 100% responsibility for a young child. I don't hold that against them (I used to be that way). I am not saying that OP is self-centered since I don't even know her/him, that's just my experience with people I know.

Nothing is more self-centered and selfish than having a child. We wouldn’t have survived as a species without parenting having a huge payoff to the parents. I write this as a parent. It’s a totally selfish endeavor.

But didn't you know? According to the Parenting Is My Entire Identity subset of parents, they have done the world a colossal favor b choosing to have children, because f they didn't, no one else would have either, and the human race would have OMG DIED OUT!!!

They also like to threaten childless people into reproducing by threatening them with OMG YOU'LL DIE ALONE IN A NURSING HOME, as if A. that were a remotely decent reason to have a child and burden to demand of them or B that they pretend the majority of people who die in nursing homes don't have children, which is total BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We wanted kids, tried all the things, nothing worked. That ship has sailed. It’ll always hurt. But we have good lives, and know it. Parenthood is such a life-defining and -changing experience. How do you see people who don’t have kids? Do you feel bad for them? Don’t really think about it? What advice would you give your childless self? Thank you.

All child free people are not the same. Not all parents are either. If I like them as people it has no baring on whether they have children or not.

[Anonymous]

I had children after infertility. I don't feel bad for people without kids because it could have easily been us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think about them in a negative way, in some ways I'm jealous of their freedoms. But I do hate when people who don't have kids complain about being tired or not having enough time. Or having to work late and miss their yoga class. It's ok to feel that way but don't complain about it to a mom with young kids.

I often wonder how many of my childless friends would handle being parents, especially seeing some of the people I do know with kids who can barely keep it together. I think its just really hard to be able to understand the magnitude of how much parenting changes your life and then they try to compare your experience as a parent with their experience as an aunt or godmother or whatever. I get that they are just trying to participate in the conversation and I appreciate that but it's like talking to your friend with cancer about how you felt when you had a cold.

Yeah, because childless people never have chronic health issues. In fact, sometimes those issues are what made them childless.

I have a friend who suddenly saw THE reason for life after having a child. Mainly, it made her more empathetic and concerned about others. She is having realizations in her 40s that many people had as teens. It's really obnoxious to act like a childless person doesn't understand about life.

[Anonymous]

Ok I will be honest - I think emotionally they don’t have the same level of maturity. They can’t understand the emotions of of unconditional love that comes with being parent and so there are so many issues and experiences in life that they react to in a younger way. Even if they are 60+

I have childless friends and I like them and hang out with them but sometimes they way the react to situations makes me smile benignly bc they can’t help it.

[Anonymous]

As a parent, I see a lot of parents on here that I would never want to be friends with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok I will be honest - I think emotionally they don’t have the same level of maturity. They can’t understand the emotions of of unconditional love that comes with being parent and so there are so many issues and experiences in life that they react to in a younger way. Even if they are 60+

I have childless friends and I like them and hang out with them but sometimes they way the react to situations makes me smile benignly bc they can’t help it.

I'm shocked you have friends. Im a parent and can't stand people like you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok I will be honest - I think emotionally they don’t have the same level of maturity. They can’t understand the emotions of of unconditional love that comes with being parent and so there are so many issues and experiences in life that they react to in a younger way. Even if they are 60+

I have childless friends and I like them and hang out with them but sometimes they way the react to situations makes me smile benignly bc they can’t help it.

I'm shocked you have friends. Im a parent and can't stand people like you

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok I will be honest - I think emotionally they don’t have the same level of maturity. They can’t understand the emotions of of unconditional love that comes with being parent and so there are so many issues and experiences in life that they react to in a younger way. Even if they are 60+

I have childless friends and I like them and hang out with them but sometimes they way the react to situations makes me smile benignly bc they can’t help it.

You’re a child, PP. You need to develop a life beyond your poor children and find purpose. You’re the one who sounds stunningly immature.