My politics contradict my sexual preferences

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you. I am white and my wife is African-American, and we are both super-liberal. However, we engage in a lot of racial abuse and master/slave role-play in the bedroom.

That's mind-boggling to me.

_____


OP, I could've written your post, except I've never thought to put it into words like that. But I am newly single and wondering how I will meet anyone who really gets my fire going but is also "on the level."

NP. It’s actually not uncommon. I’m Jewish, and have Nazi fantasies. It’s a way of taking charge of things that scare you. I’m assuming that PP’s wife initiated this type of play, though. If he, as a white man, did, then the dynamic changes and is troubling.

[Anonymous]

I call troll because of the sheer number of progressive to leftist men I know who do not fit OP's description.

[Anonymous]

What a strange post. The vast majority of women want a masculine man and want to feel feminine in the bedroom.

Is this a gen Z thing where people believe sexuality is a social construct or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call troll because of the sheer number of progressive to leftist men I know who do not fit OP's description.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

This does not sound contradictory to me. This is like when people are surprised that a feminist wants to be a SAHM or someone in favor of reproductive rights would not choose an abortion for themselves- there’s no conflict there.

[Anonymous]

OP, I posted earlier saying I could've written your post, but I would clarify, and tell me if this fits you too. It's not so much that liberal men turn you off, it's more that you want a manly bad boy, and bad boys aren't usually cerebral enough to be interested in politics at all, much less be liberal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a liberal. Actually, some would call me a leftist. I'm as far to the left as you can get on social, economic, and foreign policy issues. My politics are important to me and I want someone who shares my values.

But I'm "aesthetically conservative." A friend of mine put it that way and it fits me perfectly. I prefer to be traditionally feminine and I am attracted to traditionally masculine men.

I like to think I treat people equally and I can befriend people of any gender or gender expression or body type or outward appearance, but attraction is attraction and I can't form a physical relationship with a more gender-neutral-ish man. I've had relationships fail because of lack of interest on my part in the bedroom because men who share my politics tend to be too fragile, too passive, and too gender-bending. Even when they were handsome in their own ways. And their preferences have been unconventional as well, I want to be appreciated as a traditionally feminine woman. As much as I can respect others as individuals for their preferences and their sexuality, I really can't be turned on in the bedroom unless I am in my feminine and he is in his masculine. It's just the way I'm wired.

I have not read the whole thread but I am not sure I understand your problem, and what politics as to do with physical aspect. I grew up in Europe and many of my friends were in the youth organization of the communist party in my country or even on the left of that. they were all types of guys (and liked all types of girls) and many of them were certainly very masculine. one of the probably most strikingly handsome men I have ever see was a gigantic Norwegian with long, very dark hair, friend of a friend. computer science PHD and very on the left, but wow.......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, good for you, I guess? Nobody expects you to justify who you're attracted to. You don't have to be a crunch birkenstock wearer to be a liberal, and you don't have to marry an emo guy either.

This. I don't understand your point OP. You describe like 75% of my friends. We are liberal but pretty gender normative and attracted to basically gender normative opposite sex people. I didn't realize that was strange. I thought this was going to be like my sister who is a lesbian but fiscally and somewhat socially conservative. That has been a bit of a mind eff for her.

How so? She wants to be fiscally responsible. So what if she wants to be fiscally responsible with another woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a strange post. The vast majority of women want a masculine man and want to feel feminine in the bedroom.

Is this a gen Z thing where people believe sexuality is a social construct or something?

I think gen Z has gotten very messed-up messages around sex, sexuality and dating (which is often used to mean sex, not a process of spending time with someone to discern if they would be a good life partner). I can’t imagine what my kids will be dealing with when they’re old enough to date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, good for you, I guess? Nobody expects you to justify who you're attracted to. You don't have to be a crunch birkenstock wearer to be a liberal, and you don't have to marry an emo guy either.

This. I don't understand your point OP. You describe like 75% of my friends. We are liberal but pretty gender normative and attracted to basically gender normative opposite sex people. I didn't realize that was strange. I thought this was going to be like my sister who is a lesbian but fiscally and somewhat socially conservative. That has been a bit of a mind eff for her.

How so? She wants to be fiscally responsible. So what if she wants to be fiscally responsible with another woman?

I suspect because the LGB have been lumped in with the “Q+++” element of society, so there’s an expectation that LGB people are all to the far left socially, when in fact many are not and simply want to lead quiet socially normative lives with their same-sex partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um, good for you, I guess? Nobody expects you to justify who you're attracted to. You don't have to be a crunch birkenstock wearer to be a liberal, and you don't have to marry an emo guy either.

This. I don't understand your point OP. You describe like 75% of my friends. We are liberal but pretty gender normative and attracted to basically gender normative opposite sex people. I didn't realize that was strange. I thought this was going to be like my sister who is a lesbian but fiscally and somewhat socially conservative. That has been a bit of a mind eff for her.

How so? She wants to be fiscally responsible. So what if she wants to be fiscally responsible with another woman?

I suspect because the LGB have been lumped in with the “Q+++” element of society, so there’s an expectation that LGB people are all to the far left socially, when in fact many are not and simply want to lead quiet socially normative lives with their same-sex partners.

^^ to clarify, I’m an NP, not the person with the sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call troll because of the sheer number of progressive to leftist men I know who do not fit OP's description.

+1. Not difficult to find the type OP says she's looking for, although admittedly all the ones I know these days are married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a liberal. Actually, some would call me a leftist. I'm as far to the left as you can get on social, economic, and foreign policy issues. My politics are important to me and I want someone who shares my values.

But I'm "aesthetically conservative." A friend of mine put it that way and it fits me perfectly. I prefer to be traditionally feminine and I am attracted to traditionally masculine men.

I like to think I treat people equally and I can befriend people of any gender or gender expression or body type or outward appearance, but attraction is attraction and I can't form a physical relationship with a more gender-neutral-ish man. I've had relationships fail because of lack of interest on my part in the bedroom because men who share my politics tend to be too fragile, too passive, and too gender-bending. Even when they were handsome in their own ways. And their preferences have been unconventional as well, I want to be appreciated as a traditionally feminine woman. As much as I can respect others as individuals for their preferences and their sexuality, I really can't be turned on in the bedroom unless I am in my feminine and he is in his masculine. It's just the way I'm wired.

I'm also crazy super liberal and leftist on lots of things, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a liberal. Actually, some would call me a leftist. I'm as far to the left as you can get on social, economic, and foreign policy issues. My politics are important to me and I want someone who shares my values.

But I'm "aesthetically conservative." A friend of mine put it that way and it fits me perfectly. I prefer to be traditionally feminine and I am attracted to traditionally masculine men.

I like to think I treat people equally and I can befriend people of any gender or gender expression or body type or outward appearance, but attraction is attraction and I can't form a physical relationship with a more gender-neutral-ish man. I've had relationships fail because of lack of interest on my part in the bedroom because men who share my politics tend to be too fragile, too passive, and too gender-bending. Even when they were handsome in their own ways. And their preferences have been unconventional as well, I want to be appreciated as a traditionally feminine woman. As much as I can respect others as individuals for their preferences and their sexuality, I really can't be turned on in the bedroom unless I am in my feminine and he is in his masculine. It's just the way I'm wired.

You have self esteem issues if you need to post this here for some reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call troll because of the sheer number of progressive to leftist men I know who do not fit OP's description.

I agree.

Yeah my DH is very masculine and Liberal. This was written by a Conservative troll who wants to promote the idea that all Liberal men are "weak" or "beta" etc.