Shared family beach house - how to handle politely?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL is half owner- why can't she just talk to him and work it out. OP I would just politely let her know you'll book somewhere else if he can't decide.

Annoying, but it is what it is.

I don't understand why you are being called a free loader and greedy. That's unnecessary

Everyone is acting like the nephew owns this place, but he is HALF owner- so why can't MIL just claim it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The DCUM bullies are all here!

Yeah, and all the entitled brats too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is half owner- why can't she just talk to him and work it out. OP I would just politely let her know you'll book somewhere else if he can't decide.

Annoying, but it is what it is.

I don't understand why you are being called a free loader and greedy. That's unnecessary

Everyone is acting like the nephew owns this place, but he is HALF owner- so why can't MIL just claim it?

If it was truly a priority for MIL she would- that’s the point. OP ‘s problem is assuming she and her husband are entitled to stake a claim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is half owner- why can't she just talk to him and work it out. OP I would just politely let her know you'll book somewhere else if he can't decide.

Annoying, but it is what it is.

I don't understand why you are being called a free loader and greedy. That's unnecessary

Everyone is acting like the nephew owns this place, but he is HALF owner- so why can't MIL just claim it?

If it was truly a priority for MIL she would- that’s the point. OP ‘s problem is assuming she and her husband are entitled to stake a claim.

Maybe MIL did ask and nephew is unhappy about the freeloading and this is how she is keeping the peace. It doesn't matter though, OP needs to rent a place and be thankful for the time you did get there over the years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL is half owner- why can't she just talk to him and work it out. OP I would just politely let her know you'll book somewhere else if he can't decide.

Annoying, but it is what it is.

I don't understand why you are being called a free loader and greedy. That's unnecessary

Because not taking “no” or “not right now” as an answer when asking a property owner for the favor of the use of their property is beyond rude, entitled, and greedy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is half owner- why can't she just talk to him and work it out. OP I would just politely let her know you'll book somewhere else if he can't decide.

Annoying, but it is what it is.

I don't understand why you are being called a free loader and greedy. That's unnecessary

Everyone is acting like the nephew owns this place, but he is HALF owner- so why can't MIL just claim it?

Because clearly that’s not how MIL chooses to operate. And that’s her business and her choice.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like the nephew is planning to be there or wants to have that option, and MIL has either tried to explain it to you, or is trying to let you down gently as you seem quite intense about it. I get excited about planning too, but I’d set something different up and be pleasantly surprised if the beach house works out. The less you push now, the more likely you’ll continue to have access later.

[Anonymous]

Rent your own to secure the date 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The DCUM bullies are all here!

It IS saturday night!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is half owner- why can't she just talk to him and work it out. OP I would just politely let her know you'll book somewhere else if he can't decide.

Annoying, but it is what it is.

I don't understand why you are being called a free loader and greedy. That's unnecessary

Everyone is acting like the nephew owns this place, but he is HALF owner- so why can't MIL just claim it?

Because she doesn’t want to. Who knows why? If MIL were here instead of OP, the advice of how to handle it would be different.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like MIL wants to help you in this instance. Move on to plan B.

[Anonymous]

Your MIL is sending you a clear message that it's not your house. It belongs to her and the nephew. And she doesn't want your party at her house.

That's her right, but I would stop going to that beach house, stop hanging out with MIL and definitely stop spending any money on it or her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MIL is half owner- why can't she just talk to him and work it out. OP I would just politely let her know you'll book somewhere else if he can't decide.

Annoying, but it is what it is.

I don't understand why you are being called a free loader and greedy. That's unnecessary

Because not taking “no” or “not right now” as an answer when asking a property owner for the favor of the use of their property is beyond rude, entitled, and greedy.

I'd normally agree with this, but apparently OP pays for it. So in this case the right thing is to cut ties (or at least cut this particular tie).

[Anonymous]

You know how annoying it is when you tell your kids "no" or "not right now" about something that is entirely your decision and they keep pushing and arguing, OP.

Yeahhh...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want a beach house for certain dates? Go rent one. Like a grown-up. Be grateful that MIL and DH's cousin have given you free rides this long. You entitled brat.

With respect, you sound pointlessly aggressive and like someone who just doesn’t get the common dynamic of a large family sharing a summer house. Usually two elders or whatever “own” it, but everyone splits dates. This sounds typical to me, not like mooching. This board loves to hunt for ulterior motives. You need to take a step back.

+1

There seems to be some major projecting going on with that PP.