My 11 year old daughter just came out to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guessing you live on a coast and have a loving home. This is normal for tween and teen girls now. It may last, it may not. It didn’t for my DD. She is an older teen now, only dates and talks about boys and never mentioned it again. So absolutely you said all the right things and it’s great to be supportive but unfortunately there is an epidemic of gay and trans “coming out” in girls of your daughters age.

You are correct (coast/loving home). Interesting to hear regarding so many kids coming out.

Op I’m a new poster. My DS is approaching 10 and said same. I’m a very liberal person but was very confused as to why this came up at 9. Then I noticed every show he watches has a gay, bi, or non-binary character. While supportive there wasn’t much to discuss. He’s 9 and the earliest he might be allowed to date is 16. I’ll check back in with him when he’s older. If he doesn’t bring it up before then.

Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

When Wash dC private and public schools cover the three genders (make, female, nonbinary) in grade 2 and tell 8 yos to “explore their gender and orientation” as part of social studies (courtesy of the LBGTQ lobby curriculum), this is what happens to adolescents. huge upticks in pre puberty and puberty gender confused and orientation confused girls. With boys it’s more like age 4-5 and now significantly less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is trendy to be bisexual or admitting having mental illness among teenagers.

+1 Depression/anxiety combined with questioning sexuality (as is very common at this age) seems to have now morphed into many many teen/tween girls identifying as "Trans." Girls are self diagnosing with the internet and then finding their way to influencers and message boards that make them feel safe and part of a community or movement. That sense of community/being part of a movement is extremely appealing to young, suggestible girls and while I'm supportive of children who are truly experiencing gender dysmorphia, there are far more girls who have simply adopted this identity because it's the thing to do. Maybe they don't identify with "girly girls" or hyper sexual teens on social media and think that must be because they are experiencing gender dysphoria. Maybe they are truly gay/bisexual, but that's so 1990s so trans it is.

It’s the new anorexia. It washes over groups of girls age 10-13 and they all copy each other down the trans rabbit hole. Only a few have to guts to get over the peer pressure and dig out later. Meanwhile, they can pick a new name, bind, have new trans friends groups online and at school, take some blockers, take some T. Don’t try to stop it you’ll be accused of being toxic and a —phobe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This could very well be an anxiety reaction. She learnt what bisexual meant (and somehow felt that being one could mean that she won't be accepted, so probably learnt it as something negative), and started worrying that she might be one too because she's felt "crushes" on girls before.

Just assure her that whether she ends up liking boys, girls, both, it's all normal and fine.

Kid are being taught things too young and/or in age INappropriate ways, or worse, via internet influencers or friends. So much confusion being manufactured here.

[Anonymous]

I've been there. I would make sure she felt welcome to share such things but would not emphasize it. Interests and desires and perceptions of sexual identity change. Our kids live in a world in which it is normal and healthy to fully experience these changes, which is wonderful for everyone. Continue to support her as needed. Great job, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This could very well be an anxiety reaction. She learnt what bisexual meant (and somehow felt that being one could mean that she won't be accepted, so probably learnt it as something negative), and started worrying that she might be one too because she's felt "crushes" on girls before.

Just assure her that whether she ends up liking boys, girls, both, it's all normal and fine.

Kid are being taught things too young and/or in age INappropriate ways, or worse, via internet influencers or friends. So much confusion being manufactured here.

Many kids also have no context. My 7 yo doesn’t even know human anatomy well yet the school read the Jazz Jenning book and he thinks people can be one ring on the inside, one on the outside and thus everyone can make a baby. Including himself if he decides he’s a girl.

We’re looking to move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This could very well be an anxiety reaction. She learnt what bisexual meant (and somehow felt that being one could mean that she won't be accepted, so probably learnt it as something negative), and started worrying that she might be one too because she's felt "crushes" on girls before.

Just assure her that whether she ends up liking boys, girls, both, it's all normal and fine.

Kid are being taught things too young and/or in age INappropriate ways, or worse, via internet influencers or friends. So much confusion being manufactured here.

Many kids also have no context. My 7 yo doesn’t even know human anatomy well yet the school read the Jazz Jenning book and he thinks people can be one ring on the inside, one on the outside and thus everyone can make a baby. Including himself if he decides he’s a girl.

We’re looking to move.

This is not a local issue. Moving wont help.

[Anonymous]

Not true. Not every public and private school district has bought the super new ideology fiction book curriculum. Not even half have. Super liberal DC area has? No one outside of DC cares about DC school indoctrination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This could very well be an anxiety reaction. She learnt what bisexual meant (and somehow felt that being one could mean that she won't be accepted, so probably learnt it as something negative), and started worrying that she might be one too because she's felt "crushes" on girls before.

Just assure her that whether she ends up liking boys, girls, both, it's all normal and fine.

Kid are being taught things too young and/or in age INappropriate ways, or worse, via internet influencers or friends. So much confusion being manufactured here.

Many kids also have no context. My 7 yo doesn’t even know human anatomy well yet the school read the Jazz Jenning book and he thinks people can be one ring on the inside, one on the outside and thus everyone can make a baby. Including himself if he decides he’s a girl.

We’re looking to move.

A seven year old should know basic anatomy. If he has a medical problem or is being abused he would need to tell someone about it accurately.

[Anonymous]

Mine was told “you can be one thing on the inside and another on the outside” at school, and now thinks he can will it so and broth a baby later!

So no he doesn’t know about ovaries and sperm production.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not true. Not every public and private school district has bought the super new ideology fiction book curriculum. Not even half have. Super liberal DC area has? No one outside of DC cares about DC school indoctrination.

Has anyone heard anything about this from their elementary kids in FCPS? Just curious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guessing you live on a coast and have a loving home. This is normal for tween and teen girls now. It may last, it may not. It didn’t for my DD. She is an older teen now, only dates and talks about boys and never mentioned it again. So absolutely you said all the right things and it’s great to be supportive but unfortunately there is an epidemic of gay and trans “coming out” in girls of your daughters age.

You are correct (coast/loving home). Interesting to hear regarding so many kids coming out.

Op I’m a new poster. My DS is approaching 10 and said same. I’m a very liberal person but was very confused as to why this came up at 9. Then I noticed every show he watches has a gay, bi, or non-binary character. While supportive there wasn’t much to discuss. He’s 9 and the earliest he might be allowed to date is 16. I’ll check back in with him when he’s older. If he doesn’t bring it up before then.

My son knew he was gay at 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guessing you live on a coast and have a loving home. This is normal for tween and teen girls now. It may last, it may not. It didn’t for my DD. She is an older teen now, only dates and talks about boys and never mentioned it again. So absolutely you said all the right things and it’s great to be supportive but unfortunately there is an epidemic of gay and trans “coming out” in girls of your daughters age.

I’m so tired of people saying this. It really trivializes the thoughts and emotions of preteen and teenage girls, as if they aren’t capable of understanding their own thoughts and making their own decisions. Could it be some kind of fad/phase? Maybe. But that’s not a reason to dismiss or diminish what your daughter says to you. All you have to do is be accepting and supportive! It’s not hard!

But there is a fad right now. There truly is. I know no less than 6 families whose tweens or early teens have labeled themselves as pan-sexual, bisexual or gay in the last two months alone - and I'm an introvert who doesn't know many people.

I think it's because so many are on social media where they are watching others label themselves. Are they LBGQT+? maybe. Time will tell. It's the labeling which I don't think it developmentally appropriate at the age of 9-10. My daughter asked me this weekend if I knew that JoJo Siwa was a lesbian. I told her, "yes." and I looked in the rear view mirror to see her face with clearly deep thought going on. Lol. All I could think was that it was JoJo Siwa and let's not compare ourselves to her for anything.

OP, you did great. Keep communication open and wait for what the years may bring. There were alot of things I thought at age 11 that didn't end up being accurate - but some did. It's nice to know your parents will be supportive no matter what.

[Anonymous]

Agree. Terrible fad. How distracting fir the kids who are supposed to be learning academics by leaps and bounds; instead trendy schools are telling adolescent girls to explore their three genders.

[Anonymous]

I don’t have a problem with my children exploring their identity via sexual orientation and gender identity. If parents would just relax a little about it I don’t think kids would be as likely to make it as big if an deal in your life. Think about it: if your daughter who has just leaned about the existence of trans people comes up to you and says “I’m a boy” and you say “no you’re not,” how are they going to react? They will get upset at you and do what they can to prove they are a boy. If you say “great! I love you no matter what!” they will feel supported and won’t feel pressure either way.

If they are actually just exploring their identity and aren’t trans, no harm done. Whereas if you tell them they are wrong about their identity and they actually are trans, you have just seriously damaged your relationship and made your kid more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression, STDs and poor academic performance.

Also things like hormone blockers and breast binders are huge commitments and unless a child is very committed to their gender identity, they’re unlikely to keep it up for a long period of time. Yeah it happens but if they want to go that far, odds are they really are trans.