My 11 year old daughter just came out to me

[Anonymous]

Let your child learn who they are w/o your personal biases!
Some people are straight, some are bi, some are gay, that’s how it is. The “norms” we knew are gone in this respect.

Give your child love, an open mind, and lots of support. Make the. Feel accepted, no ma what. It will work out as it should.
Your child being forced to live a lie will only drive a wedge between you.

[Anonymous]

My youngest DD also came out at 11. Now 15, she says that she never imagined herself in a relationship with a boy and resigned herself to never marrying before she learned about lesbians. We have a lot of gay male friends, but no lesbian friends when she was younger. I guess she knew before 11 and just didn’t tell us. She’s older now and has a GF.

[Anonymous]

im stuck at putting your kid to bed at age 11.

Damn, the helicopter parenting is real.

[Anonymous]

I knew I was gay when I was 10. Well actually I said bi first, and later gay. It’s a very normal age.

Your reaction sounded just fine with me. You don’t have to say everything perfectly at first. The people who immediately say “yay I’m so happy for you!” Aren’t always right because for many people coming out involved wrestling with a lot of questions about themselves and not just a celebration. It’s great to ask questions and it’s ok not to know everything. Avoid saying it’s a phase or you hope she chooses boys. Remind her you love her no matter what. Do some reading on your own and talk to her about what you find. Make it a conversation. You got this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actual lesbian here. Kids as young as 11 (or younger!) can know that they’re bi or gay. Crushes at that age aren’t sexual, but they’re not the same as admiring someone either. Your daughter may well keep on identifying as bi or gay as she gets older. Sure, she may not, but it really invalidates her experience for so many people here to suggest she doesn’t know herself. I think you gave her a great response. Going forward, some ideas for supporting her:
- Get involved with PFLAG
- See if your area has support groups for LGBTQ youth, or if her school has a GSA
- Talk to her about your support for LGBTQ rights (maybe when related issues come up in the news)
- Help her find media (TV shows, movies, books, etc) with positive representations of LGBTQ identity

She's 11! She's a little kid! Please don't do any of this and start labeling her as anything. Please let her be a little kid and talk to you about whatever crosses her mind without immediately making it a big deal.

I agree, pp is unreal and alarming.
OP handled it fine, but many still believe the man and woman only. She's only 11 and sadly there's a lot of bad influences from many sources. A parent has to be especially stringent today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is trendy to be bisexual or admitting having mental illness among teenagers.

Yes, this is definitely a trend with the girls in upper elementary school in McLean.
Everyone is refer as "they" instead of she. Most parent are probably not aware of it.

LOL
Is it that non binary thing? That's BS because there's only 2 sexes, can't ever change that biological factoid.

Actually, if you were even minimally informed of current scientific thinking...masculinity and femininity are understood to be more of a spectrum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine was told “you can be one thing on the inside and another on the outside” at school, and now thinks he can will it so and broth a baby later!

So no he doesn’t know about ovaries and sperm production.

It is your job to teach him how his body works. And now is the time.

Don't passively delegate this job to strangers at school and then complain about how they are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is trendy to be bisexual or admitting having mental illness among teenagers.

Yes, this is definitely a trend with the girls in upper elementary school in McLean.
Everyone is refer as "they" instead of she. Most parent are probably not aware of it.

LOL
Is it that non binary thing? That's BS because there's only 2 sexes, can't ever change that biological factoid.

Actually, if you were even minimally informed of current scientific thinking...masculinity and femininity are understood to be more of a spectrum.

and yet there are still only two sexes fyi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine was told “you can be one thing on the inside and another on the outside” at school, and now thinks he can will it so and broth a baby later!

So no he doesn’t know about ovaries and sperm production.

It is your job to teach him how his body works. And now is the time.

Don't passively delegate this job to strangers at school and then complain about how they are doing.

Holy crap - what 11 year old doesn't know about sperm or reproduction. That's just ignorant parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is trendy to be bisexual or admitting having mental illness among teenagers.

Yes, this is definitely a trend with the girls in upper elementary school in McLean.
Everyone is refer as "they" instead of she. Most parent are probably not aware of it.

LOL
Is it that non binary thing? That's BS because there's only 2 sexes, can't ever change that biological factoid.

Actually, if you were even minimally informed of current scientific thinking...masculinity and femininity are understood to be more of a spectrum.

and yet there are still only two sexes fyi.

Doctor here: incorrect. You can be XX or XY or XXY

But, I'm sure you know (even though you seem very uneducated) that gender and biological sex are not the same thing.

If not, I figure you are also unvaccinated and drink bleach when you get sick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:im stuck at putting your kid to bed at age 11.

Damn, the helicopter parenting is real.

Pp 11 years old is still a young kid. Ir is not helicopter parenting to do so. Most kids that age enjoy reading stories and talking before sleep.

I am sorry tou didnt have the love and support of your parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is trendy to be bisexual or admitting having mental illness among teenagers.

Yes, this is definitely a trend with the girls in upper elementary school in McLean.
Everyone is refer as "they" instead of she. Most parent are probably not aware of it.

LOL
Is it that non binary thing? That's BS because there's only 2 sexes, can't ever change that biological factoid.

Actually, if you were even minimally informed of current scientific thinking...masculinity and femininity are understood to be more of a spectrum.

and yet there are still only two sexes fyi.

Doctor here: incorrect. You can be XX or XY or XXY

But, I'm sure you know (even though you seem very uneducated) that gender and biological sex are not the same thing.

If not, I figure you are also unvaccinated and drink bleach when you get sick

lol You're no doctor to be sure. Here this might help you-

Biological sex is defined in relation to the role played in sexual reproduction. Sexual reproduction involves only two, namely, male and female. Therefore, biological sex is only two, namely, male or female.
Defects occur in nature, but defects imply a norm from which they deflect. A castrated man is still a male; a female with a mastectomy is still a female. The fact that one is born with ambiguous genitalia does not do away with one’s true sex. That it is hard to identify someone as male or female does not mean one is neither. Identical twins are hard to distinguish, but they are still distinct persons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is trendy to be bisexual or admitting having mental illness among teenagers.

Yes, this is definitely a trend with the girls in upper elementary school in McLean.
Everyone is refer as "they" instead of she. Most parent are probably not aware of it.

LOL
Is it that non binary thing? That's BS because there's only 2 sexes, can't ever change that biological factoid.

Actually, if you were even minimally informed of current scientific thinking...masculinity and femininity are understood to be more of a spectrum.

and yet there are still only two sexes fyi.

Doctor here: incorrect. You can be XX or XY or XXY

But, I'm sure you know (even though you seem very uneducated) that gender and biological sex are not the same thing.

If not, I figure you are also unvaccinated and drink bleach when you get sick

lol You're no doctor to be sure. Here this might help you-

Biological sex is defined in relation to the role played in sexual reproduction. Sexual reproduction involves only two, namely, male and female. Therefore, biological sex is only two, namely, male or female.
Defects occur in nature, but defects imply a norm from which they deflect. A castrated man is still a male; a female with a mastectomy is still a female. The fact that one is born with ambiguous genitalia does not do away with one’s true sex. That it is hard to identify someone as male or female does not mean one is neither. Identical twins are hard to distinguish, but they are still distinct persons.

Exactly. What medical school did you go to "doctor"? People with XXY chromosomes (Klinefelter's syndrome) are male. They produce small gametes, i.e., sperm.

Of course, you can make the argument that gender is whatever is in one's mind, but it quickly descends into absurdity because whatever is in one's mind is subject to change, particularly in teenagers. Recently, I became aware of the term "demigirl." If someone wants to label herself a demigirl I have no problem with it. But if there can be a demigirl, then why not a 1/4 girl or 5/16 girl, or a 31/64 or 65/128 boy? Am I now required to believe for political correctness purposes that there is such a thing as a 497/1000 boy, if someone bills himself as such?

And if the concept applies to gender, why not other traits? I would refer you to the YouTube videos of Oli London, who is an Englishman who has decided he is transracial, that is Korean. If he wants to believe he is Korean, good luck to him. But no matter how many plastic surgeries he gets, I will never believe he is anything other than an Englishman.

[Anonymous]

My gay brother knew he was gay at age 6. No name for it at that age. He loves to reminisce about all the cute boys in elementary school and we laugh since I also had a crush on the same boys. We are now 60 and 59.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“ To be honest, I simply don't believe this huge portion of the youth population is gay, bi, pan, trans. I'm glad that kids can come out with acceptance that they might not have had a generation ago, but I think it's also a trend right now as much as anything else.”

+1
Also this idea that you you don’t like girlie things then you may not identity as a girl is an exaggeration too.

That said I agree OP responded well - for the tiny % of kids that are trans they need love/acceptance, as do the larger yet still minority share of kids that are bisexual or gay/lesbian. But if your kid is not old enough to have sexual attraction then I fail to see how they know if they are bi/gay/etc yet.

11 isn't too young to have sexual attraction. I knew I was straight at that age for sure.

+1 I had my first sexual relationship at that age. My parents didn’t know.