Anyone else have to be very restrictive to stay thin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 37. 5'5" and 125. I do have to be very restrictive. at 135, I can eat whatever I want. The body definitely has its comfortable spot. I think I will enjoy being thin another 10 yrs, then hang it up and give it to 135.

Life's too short. No one cares or notices if you are 125 or 135.

True, and it could be even shorter if your weight regularly creeps up. Risks for heart disease, stroke, diabetes, NAFLD, and cancer all increase with weight. 10 pounds doesn't sound like a big deal, but it all adds up.

OTOH, being underweight also increases your death risk.

Actually multiple studies show that being slight underweight or at the bottom of the range of normal weight increases your chances of long life.

True.

[Anonymous]

I used to. At some point those extra 10 pounds really didn't seem worth it. I've been at those extra 10 pounds for 2 years now with little to no fluctuation (so it's not continuing to creep up) and I've found I'm so much happier. No more obsessing, no more feeling like I'm missing out on things, no more stress around food. I'm still at a healthy weight so it's not like it's a health risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by invisible? I’m in my early 50’s and not sure what you mean.

They're repeating a misogynistic old trope that is not true - talk about internalized sexism!
Are they talking about the attention of males between 20 and 30? Because everyone else is looking!

No, I am speaking from experience. People might still look and observant people will notice your appearance. They just don't care. It is extremely different from when you are younger and people are genuinely interested in your appearance as a woman, because they view you as a potential partner or as competition for a potential partner or they are trying to figure out if you are pregnant. I'm not saying it's good that people think that way. And if you'd asked me at the age of 35 if that's how people are, I would have said no, that's crazy. But now I'm in my 40s and this is absolutely true.

I am sure there are exceptions to this. If I were single and dating, for instance, obviously my appearance would matter on the dating market. I also assume that people who aren't heterosexual may have other experiences because there may be less of a focus on fertility. But the experience of most to the heterosexual women I know, and especially the ones who are married and/or have kids, is that interest in you as a person drops way off right around 40. People talk to you less. Strangers aren't as nice to you, unless you are with your kids and they are interested in your kids. And it's not just men in their 20s and 30s who lose interest. Men in their 40s/50s used to look at me so much when I was younger that it was annoying. Now that I am the peer of men that age, they look right through me. It's gross.

But for what it's worth, I'm still thin and it doesn't change any of the above. Other women sometimes comment on the fact that I've stayed thin, but it does not increase interest or attention in me. I'm just another middle age lady, and the details are not that interesting to most people.

I agree. It doesn't necessarily bother me, either; it is what it is. I still want to stay thin so my clothes fit and I'm healthy. Also, I don't find most men my age or older to be that attractive, either, whether they are in shape or not. Sure, there are some exceptions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 37. 5'5" and 125. I do have to be very restrictive. at 135, I can eat whatever I want. The body definitely has its comfortable spot. I think I will enjoy being thin another 10 yrs, then hang it up and give it to 135.

Life's too short. No one cares or notices if you are 125 or 135.

This, especially past 40. What you may not realize, PP, is that you're about to become invisible to most people regardless of your weight. Why not enjoy life rather than dieting to impress people who really, really don't care?

Actually I do agree. Women over 40 become somewhat invisible. But I have my pride and I just won’t feel good about myself. I love how I look at 125. I like how I look at 135 and I’ll let it happen naturally after 45 or so if that is what is meant to be. But I would never let myself get to 145+ even if I had to eat cabbage all damn day, ha

Very true about being less visible (to men at least!) over 40. I used to get a lot of male attention on a regular basis but once I got past my early 40's it really dropped off. Nothing significant has changed about my appearance (I weigh about the same, still have long hair, etc) except I've gotten older. This is going to sound pathetic but I remember feeling anxious when I was in my 30's and it dawned on me that being young and cute wasn't going to last forever-my self esteem was low and I felt like I didn't have much more to offer than that. But now that I'm in my late 40's I find being less visible freeing. I don't have to worry about being sexually harassed by creepy men and I don't obsess about my looks like I used to.

I love being less visible to men as I age and it has not hurt me at all career-wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by invisible? I’m in my early 50’s and not sure what you mean.

They're repeating a misogynistic old trope that is not true - talk about internalized sexism!
Are they talking about the attention of males between 20 and 30? Because everyone else is looking!

No, I am speaking from experience. People might still look and observant people will notice your appearance. They just don't care. It is extremely different from when you are younger and people are genuinely interested in your appearance as a woman, because they view you as a potential partner or as competition for a potential partner or they are trying to figure out if you are pregnant. I'm not saying it's good that people think that way. And if you'd asked me at the age of 35 if that's how people are, I would have said no, that's crazy. But now I'm in my 40s and this is absolutely true.

I am sure there are exceptions to this. If I were single and dating, for instance, obviously my appearance would matter on the dating market. I also assume that people who aren't heterosexual may have other experiences because there may be less of a focus on fertility. But the experience of most to the heterosexual women I know, and especially the ones who are married and/or have kids, is that interest in you as a person drops way off right around 40. People talk to you less. Strangers aren't as nice to you, unless you are with your kids and they are interested in your kids. And it's not just men in their 20s and 30s who lose interest. Men in their 40s/50s used to look at me so much when I was younger that it was annoying. Now that I am the peer of men that age, they look right through me. It's gross.

But for what it's worth, I'm still thin and it doesn't change any of the above. Other women sometimes comment on the fact that I've stayed thin, but it does not increase interest or attention in me. I'm just another middle age lady, and the details are not that interesting to most people.

PP you replied to. I'm 40 and speaking from experience too. The bolded tells me that perhaps I never attracted the kind of attention you attracted when you were younger! I don't notice any difference in the way people look at me now compared to a decade ago. I had kids young, I've been accompanied by a kid since I was 25, so maybe that plays into it, apart from workplace situations, of course. I feel people look at me just as much as they did before, and just as courteously as before. Literally no difference. So if what you're talking about is the consequence of diminished sex appeal... well, I can't miss what I never had, can I? And the reality is that without it, people consider you as a just another human being, not more, not less. Welcome to normal life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m early 50’s and found that I couldn’t eat whatever I wanted anymore. I generally have a very healthy varied diet anyway. I tried restricting calories but it was miserable and unsustainable. So I got into an exercise routine—5 days of running (45-100 min/day), 3 days weights, core or body weight most days. I feel so much more healthy and happy now and can eat satisfying quantities of food.

Same here. I also vary my workouts (spin, run, lap swim, tennis, lots of Peloton strength classes). I’m feeling overall pretty great. I eat a fairly substantial lunch of vegetables, protein. I’ve been working out regularly 30 years...and I know that I’ve gotta keep moving.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Welcome to your 40s!

I'm 43 5'9" and 145#s and I have to walk a tightrope. I do intermittent fasting. It's almost noon and I will eat in a half hour, i.will not eat anything after 630 tonight. . I have already ran 4 miles, did the rower for 3,000M and lifted heavy. This all took 90min. I do eat carbs though.

Why? Because I like looking good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am tired of spending time with female friends who are always dieting and restricting, who act like weighing less is some great accomplishment or gift, who complain about their weight constantly even though they are not overweight or unhealthy, or who assume I am judging them for their weight (I'm not). Being thin is not the same as being pretty, or sexy. It's just thin.

I learned this after going from 5'1 130 (busty, petite) at 35 to 160lbs after my daughter. Now I am busty, curvy/overweight. I really have no idea what to do. I obssesed about my weight when I was smaller. I am from an ethnic group where weight gain is not viewed as badly as WASP/Anglo upper class culture. BUT, I still don't like being this size. I just don't have the energy to obsess over weight loss. I still cycle, walk, practice yoga and eat within moderation. I try to stay healthy, but I no longer attach my body appearance to my self worth.

[Anonymous]

Not really. I realized that if I want to be below 110lbs, I need to starve myself at 50. Previously I only had to be pretty active and not eat a ton of carbs for dinner.
But, I have also realized that I am the weight I am now regardless of how restrictive or free with food I am. Makes no difference. In fact, when I am watching and barely eating, I tend to gain the weight back in one day if I eat a bit more than 1200 calories per day.
I eat and don't' count calories and I am still the same median weight! So, honestly, I don't care if I am 120, 125, 115 on and off. I am so much happier since I stopped the insane calorie counting to drop some 5lbs.

[Anonymous]

I have been doing IF since last year and dropped 20 lbs.

Even though IF is restrictive in the sense I'm only eating within a certain window, I don't feel like I'm restricting because I mostly eat whatever I want which includes carbs and snacks.

I also run & work out daily but I do it because I enjoy it, not necessarily to be thin.